[Music]
alhamdulillah peace be unto you welcome
to another episode of the dean show
which is a way of life we try to put out
there for everyone to see tackling the
more serious questions about life and
you know what we try to give the best
advice so we try to have people who are
knowledgeable in this way of life Islam
which means submission and surrender to
the creator of the heavens and the Earth
associating no partners with him putting
him in charge of your life and we have
people that know the verbatim word of
God better than myself which is the
Quran and the Sunnah the authentic
tradition of the last and final
messenger of mankind the prophet
Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him
now we have an issue with a lot of the
youth nowadays caught up in the pop
culture caught up in the dun so we want
to bring on somebody to talk about what
is the best way of raising a
child in this society
and I have my special brother
friend Yahya
ibraim peaceful peaceful peaceful peace
peaceful peaceful peaceful
peace good me thanks for thank you for
being with us today it's my pleasure
thank you for having me so we like to
get straight to the to the uh topic
usually here on the dean show I thank
you again for being with us and we want
to address the parents we want to
address uh the people who are thinking
about having children the youth we're
losing them today MTV reality shows talk
to us give us some advice it's not
really we're losing them it's
um a lot of them don't want to be found
a lot of them out of out of touch with
what it means to be Muslim and being
Muslim is more of something their
parents are that they have given to them
by Heritage and not really in spirit not
really in faith and faith is a really
important uh Concept in Islam IM uh
Allah actually speaks to people of Faith
by
saying oh you who believe
believe and that's an important concept
that we have to always invite to Faith
in Allah especially those who have faith
in Allah to remind them of uh the
Necessities so that's why I mean that's
what I mean when I say that they don't
really want to be found they don't know
the value of what they have because it
wasn't a conscious choice on their part
for many
especially those who who we find strain
quicker than others uh but there's still
a lot of goodness in the umah or the
nation or the people who are of Faith so
we need to come up with strategies that
are
multifaceted that are not just home
based not just School based not just
Masjid based or mosque based but to
bring them all together as a campaign to
bring our youth back to the way of Allah
give us some practical tips for the
parents who've been away from Islam
they're coming back so you spent 15
years letting the school system the dun
educate your kids eight hours in front
of a television set now you come back to
the dean but you lost your kid three
things do the right thing
yourself nothing is greater in the sight
of a young man or young woman than to
see someone doing
something uh in practice in front of
them so you have to walk the walk if
you're gonna talk the talk you have to
do what you
say and that's very much in tune with
the words of the Prophet Muhammad peace
and blessings be upon him very much in
tune with the words of Allah where he
says to
you oh you who possess Faith why do you
say a thing that you which you do not do
uh surely it is a grievous thing in the
sight of Allah that you say that which
you do not do so that's the first thing
second it's to try to link them with
positive role models and the most
important uh role model is peers to try
to integrate your children with
people of a like attitude but who are
excelling them in Spiritual Development
so people who have a common interest in
basketball for example but one is
praying and one isn't the two have
something in common that can lead to
that thing that is missing
and the third thing
is prayer Pray to Allah to bring
correction uh into your home into your
life Allah tells us
inaha let those who fear that their
progeny their children will stray from
the path that they are upon let them
initially have the fear of Allah the TAA
of
Allah let them be mindful of the
dictates of
Allah can can you EXP to have wholesome
household it's everything is functioning
smoothly but you know what you're not
praying but you realize that this is
something that your creator Allah the
almighty wants you to do but you want
your kids to pray but you're not praying
how does that work
now it happens see Allah in the Quran
has given us an example of every type of
family structure yeah if you want to see
you know the example of a Pious father
and a negle neglectful son you look at
the example of Noah if you want to see
the example of a Pious husband
neglectful wife look at Noah look at uh
L lot if you want to see the example of
a good woman and a you know degenerate
neglectful father look at assia the wife
of pharaoh if you want to see the
example of um an orphan raised in an
adoptive family and not taking on the
customs of the people but coming towards
Allah look at Moses and Pharaoh so every
type of example has been given to us in
the Quran and you can see examples from
the life of some of um the great
Companions of the Prophet peace and
blessings be upon him who left behind
their families their homes their people
their mother their children for the way
of Allah it's not uncommon that a child
will lead the parents to
righteousness it is very difficult for a
father to expect that his son or
daughter without the intervention of
Allah without the Baraka of Allah
without the intent and the wish that
Allah has for a young man or a young
woman to be upon a righteous path it is
Impractical for us to think that that
will happen spontaneously there has to
be some effort so for a father who
doesn't pray to expect his children to
go to the mosque and pray on their own
it's possible but not probable and there
has to be a change and a rectification
within oneself and to renew one's own
faith and to look critically at oneself
because it matters what we say matters
what we do matters not not just to us
but also in the Baraka or the blessing
that is put amongst those who we live
amongst we want to talk about practical
situations that are happening in today's
uh homes you got your kid
now promt 's coming up everybody's going
to prom dad I want to go or the daughter
wants to go what do you do in a
situation like this you shouldn't have
let it get that far we know but it's
gotten there what do you do there's
battles you have to win and there's
battles you can lose some battles are
lost consciously by you and that is the
only way that your child will know their
limits if you have brought your child up
in a way where they feel that they have
control over their life which is the
sign of a successful parent that you
have let your child have the
self-confidence and self-determination
their life to make choices for
themselves when in fact you're actually
influencing these choices you're pulling
the strings as the puppet master um but
if you find yourself in a situation
where you've let it go you no longer
have that positive parental input your
child is at a position in her life or
his life where listen I'm going to go
like it or not if you don't like it I'm
going to leave the home uh you find
yourself in a predicament and that
predicament is not a religious solution
it is a social and cultural solution
that has a religious basis that has
religious influences spiritual
influences that we can integrate but the
same type of scenario will happen cross
cultures cross faiths where you will
find people in in in difficult
situations their son comes home drunk or
comes home a heroin addict or uh wants
uh to take on uh you know uh a type of
relationship that they don't approve all
of those are things that um have a
cultural significance within the home
the religious input the Islamic input
that we put in it if subhana wa taala
has BL has placed Baraka in the heart of
our child and they have been brought up
to know uh the respect of the family to
know what is intended by the family's
disapproval is actually a sign of love
and affection and that there is a
positive input in the child's life uh it
can bring uh a positive solution but at
times you find yourself in a position
where you've allowed your daughter or
your son to go to one dance two dances
three dances four dances and then you
come to the final larger one you can't
have lost all those battles and expect
to win that uh the culation the war so
it it comes to that um point in your
life where you have to begin early uh
have faith in Allah plant the right
seeds in the heart of your children make
sure that they are nurtured loved
supported that they feel that your
command of know is in their
self-interest uh that uh you you are
empathetic to them you know what they
are going through and uh give positive
Alternatives um one of uh the things you
know with one of the families that I'm
uh familiar with they had a very much
identical problem uh the son wanted to
go to the prom he said I'm not going to
take a date I'm not taking anyone I'm
just going to go with some of my friends
and to assuage that what they actually
did was planned a family holiday that
started week before and ended 3 4 days
after the prom and to for that child to
say oh should I go to Egypt and do scuba
diving and run around in the Red Sea and
visit my family and my ancestry or
should I be in that situation where I
say no I'm not going to go just for that
one day and sometimes you have to be
more clever than your child so it's not
always a religious solution there has to
be some insight and uh some technique
and and and love in the decisions you
make so you're taking away something
that they feel you got to replace it
with something else else and that's why
Allah always tells you in the Quran
whenever he talks about forbidding evil
prior to that he says enjoining
good is always superseding ordering what
is good bringing people to righteous
conduct showing them something that is
good or at least permissible is always
put forward to telling people stay away
from something cuz you need to replace
what is a social ill with with a
positive uh action do you think that a
lot of
these these um things that happen in the
house that you have disobedient children
do you think that now you have to do a
diagnosis of yourself that you're
disobeying Allah and now you're going to
have your children disobeying you
because you're not listening to what
your creator is telling you to do and
now you got disobedient kids is that now
the life of Islam is a compounding
effect um sometimes you know people they
will they'll ask silly questions it's
not really a silly question but someone
will come and say brother yya are you
really trying to tell me that it really
matters to Allah whether I eat with my
right hand or my left do you really
think it really matters to Allah if I
say bis before I eat does it really
really matter if I go to the bathroom
and I enter the bathroom with my left
foot and come out with my right foot
these little things that you do in as
nuances in your day do they really
matter and they the answer is yes
because the prophet Sall alaihi wasallam
was a a doctor of the heart a doctor of
the Spirit uh one
who blew life into our existence into
our spiritual existence so the little
things that you take in your life is
actually little antidotes things that
you do as a reflective part of your
faith in Allah that is from the
tradition of the Prophet actually
inoculates you and protects you from
the things we are talking about it is
inconceivable to think of a a family
where they are almost obsessive about
following the concept of the Prophet
following the tradition of the Prophet
Salli wasallam where before they eat
they make the Dua where when they finish
they make the Dua where upon cleaning
they make the Dua where entering bed
they make the Dua when they wake up they
make their Dua upon going to the market
they make their Dua after their uh
they make their Dua after the they make
their Dua it's inconceivable that such a
family that is built on that structure
following it with the intention and
sincerity of protecting themselves will
be attacked from the shaan and the word
Shan and the word the devil and the
influence of the devil is rampant in our
homes people have this concept you know
when you say the devil influences you
it's almost like the Exorcist you know
the head spinning around and the tongue
hanging out and but that's not how it is
uh for us as Muslims the devil's
influence upon us is stated in the words
of Allah in describing what the shatan
will say Allah tells us in Surah IIM
that on the final day the Shan will
lecture those who obeyed him and he
shall say to them as Allah quotes to us
what he will
say he shall
say all I did was invite you all I did
was come amongst you and
you obeyed me you did these little
things or larger things that brought you
closer to my side than the side of
righteousness don't blame
me put the blame squarely on
yourself I cannot Avail you and you
cannot Avail me on this day so in our
homes you will find that when the income
that the father earns is not
blessed when what they purchase is not
always halal when they don't worry about
what type of meat they eat when in the
home the television is on as a reflex to
just sitting in the living room first
thing you do you sit down in the living
room switch on the TV even though
there's nothing you're really watching
but it's just in the background when
music is heard more than the Quran I'm
not talking about is music Halal or when
music overwhelms the Quran in your home
when your home is messy when your uh
bathrooms your kitchen are not put in
order the prophet s wasallam would say
don't go to sleep with food uncovered
even if you put just a stick over it you
know just these little Concepts that are
very much a tradition of Islam have a
spiritual value and that spiritual value
protects the home protects its
inhabitants the prophet tells us when
you come in your home and you
sayb the shatan cries out and says I
have no place to stay when you come to
eat and you say bah the Shan Cries Out I
have no food so that is very much in
tune with the difficulties that our
families uh encounter that they are
attacked from
within because of a let down of they're
following the tradition of the Prophet
they're not adhering to the spiritual
compounding effect of Islam we you and I
we can sit and we can make prayer and
you know you might be ill or I might be
sick and you say you know I have a
little cough as you might have heard and
you say oh Allah Grant Yahya good health
Grant y shif now that's
acceptable but if you would gotten up
and made W and prayed two
ra and in your sud you know the
compounding effect W do prayer in your
frustration and then you make the Dua it
has a more likelihood of being accepted
by Allah subhana Waal so what we say
matters our spiritual connection with
Allah matters and our attitude with
Allah
matters okay give us real quick and
we're going to be coming to a close soon
so sit tight we're almost done and this
is something where is able to benefit
you benefit your family and implementing
these things instead of looking at a lot
of these things as frivolous these
little details are very important so we
thank you again for helping us out tell
us for the person who is using as a
reflex just flicking a remote eight
hours a day the TV's playing and and and
and the music's overwhelming the Quran
give us a routine that a person can
start with today give us a routine that
they can be on opposite the routine that
they they are
on simply Begin by thanking Allah for
waking up and if you don't know the Dua
of the Prophet learn it if until you
learn it just be thankful I've woken up
begin your day with prayer begin with
your day with thanks to Allah and the
prayer before the sunrise is the f is a
bare minimum essence of a Muslim and
it's one of the more neglected prayers
but making that conscious effort to
schedule within your time to actually
schedule that I will wake up at 4:45
a.m. before the sun rises and I will
pray to Allah when the vast majority of
people I live amongst are still asleep
is a powerful motivating factor to carry
on with the spiritual
existence go back to
sleep rest get up go to work have a
function in the society liveing uh give
back more than you have taken and that
is always the way of the Prophet
sallallahu alaihi wasallam the upper
hand the hand that gives is better in
the sight of Allah than the hand that
receives be a positive member of the
society you live in be good to your uh
your neighbors be generous to your
family many of us we neglect our family
in our kindness of spending on them when
actually you buy your wife a gift it's
actually charity it's your wife life but
it's charity in the sight of Allah to
the point that the prophet says smiling
in the face of your brother or your
sister is a charity um be thankful to
Allah make sure your five daily prayers
are prayed make sure that each and every
day that you have
read a section from the Quran that is a
constant habit of the people of Islam to
have a weir a section a selection of uh
uh time that they give out to read from
the Quran make sure that you busy
yourself with learning something new
that you don't know and a part of the
discovery of Islam is in learning new
things hearing from different people uh
attending different classes and
different seminars and being engaged
with the community you live amongst be
generous to those who you know and those
who you don't uh be thankful to Allah
subhah wa tala in each and every part of
your day through your prayers um end
your day with your family the prophet
sallallahu alaihi wasallam would always
was a family man he was a home he was a
homeboy yeah he wanted to chill out at
home that's how he was he didn't want to
chill out in the mosque he wanted to sit
with his family to sit with his people
and to teach them Islam through his
interaction with them and unless you
develop a a a sincere love of being at
home and comfortable in silence in just
plain conversation with your family and
training yourself on it not just filling
up the noise and filling up the voids of
Silence with something that's
distracting unless you actually train
yourself to do that you will not be
truly successful and always conclude
your day with thanking Allah subhah wa
ta'ala for having given you another day
now from some of the great uh
invocations that are
made the prophet s wasallam the most
often spoken prayer that he would make
was oh Allah give us something good in
this worldly life something good in the
protect us from the fire at the time of
and at the time of always make the Dua
the Dua of the
Prophet oh Allah we ask you
paradise and the actions that bring us
nearer to
it and we seek protection from you from
the
fire and what will bring us to it and
the last Dua that the prophet sallallah
Al wasallam would speak uh and do before
he would sleep was recite from the
Quran
ald till the end seven times blow in
your
hand and pass it over your body and to
read and to read the last three chapters
of the
Quran three times each and in that you
have a protection for yourself and your
family uh the Prophet uh would always
encourage the people to keep that
constant habit and that would be his
habit whether he was traveling or
whether at home whether he was visiting
people or whether he was in the comfort
of his own family those are the main
elements to having a clean simple
accepted Life by Allah alhamdulillah you
have spoken the truth we don't need Dr
Phil we don't need Oprah telling us how
to run our families we have the Quran
and the Sunnah and you explained it very
eloquently for the non-muslim now we're
going to come to a close but two minutes
we always like to invite them to Islam
they got to see a few of our other shows
and they like what we have to say invite
them to Islam what is the message of
Islam the simple invitation is come to
something that is similar to what you
know in your heart the prophet Salli
wasallam peace and blessings be upon him
and all of the prophets that came before
him whether it's Adam Noah Moses Jesus
all of those that are in the scriptures
in the scriptures that have come before
the Quran and that which is similar to
it you will find that there is more that
is similar than there is that is
different and come to uh read and study
about all the faiths I'm not telling you
just to come and look at the books of
Islam but come and read about each and
everything and let your heart and your
mind with pure intention asking for the
true sincere way a clean way of life see
where it leads you read specifically
from the Quran the chapters that you
find mind uh that are shorter come to
the things that remind you of the
existence that you have begin from the
back and move move move to the front of
the Quran and it's an easier way of
becoming accustomed to it uh I would
recommend also for you to read chapters
uh 17 18 19 uh the chapters about uh
Faith they're they're important chapters
longer chapters they contain some of the
stories of the prophets and it'll be
something that you will find a lot of
similarity and similitude with um and
make friends make friends with people
who might be a little bit different from
you they might be from Pakistan or Egypt
they might be from morania or Africa but
make friends with people who are a
little bit different than what you have
in your church or synagogue or you know
just at the local park get to know
people based on who they are and don't
have any Prejudice and judgment on them
before you actually get to know them and
you'll find that nine out of 10 people
will let you know from your experience
with them that they want nothing more
than what you have or that which that
which you are also aspiring to to live a
life of peace to have security to have a
good job to not cheat anyone and not be
cheated by anyone and to raise a family
with honesty and and happiness and these
are the things that we build our society
upon so I invite you to that and the way
of Islam it's not a way that's confusing
it's simple you believe in one God and
that you believe he sent Messengers to
lead us to him we just believe that the
final one who came to us was a man who
spoke Arabic lived a 1,400 some OD years
ago but whose message is still very much
relevant today to the point that one out
of every five people on Earth believe
what he believes says what he and
follows what he has taught so it's a
simple connection that we ask you to
make connect with those who may be
different to you with open heart open
eyes read discover and we pray for your
success and our success in this life and
in the Hereafter amen thank you very
much for being with us on the dean show
thank you brother Eddie and I'd like to
thank all of you who sat tight through
this I hope you got to benefit remember
every week we got a new show if you
missed us on the TV the local station in
Chicago you can see all of our shows at
the Deen show.com that's t h Deen
show.com until next time assalam alaykum
peace be unto you
e