asalam alaikum uh peace and blessing be
upon you um I'm here sitting in
University uh in
Birmingham which is um a place I've been
invited to to come and talk to you about
how I found
Islam and how I embrace the religion of
Islam um I want to talk about first of
all a bit about my background um from
born in warshire I grew up in the local
area here and um I come from a Christian
family I was brought up uh as a
Christian uh go to church once a week
and
um pretty much had a fairly typical uh
upbringing uh went to school locally
here and then went to boarding school
for five years and um later on to
University and the fact that we're
sitting in University here is is is
coincidental the sense that this is
where my particular Journey began while
I was studying at University and one of
the things that I found um throughout my
childhood I was I was obviously quite
interested in religion um I was very
interested in spirituality and through
my school years as well um I started to
research into um
spirituality and one of the things I
found when I came to University was that
the life here was very devoid of any
spirituality it was very much about me
what I want and it was to the detriment
of everybody
else and the lifestyle was very
hedonistic a uni a lot of drinking a lot
of socializing mixing with girls and
boys together and uh generally
um was seen to be the thing to do so
obviously being um a person who didn't
have any particular guidance or any way
of understanding life uh I just went
along with the crowd and I just followed
majority of what what other people were
doing I never really thought about what
I was doing but I think it was probably
after the first year of uni that I
started to
feel the results of that which were I
started to feel very disillusioned I
started to feel very lost um I started
asking my question myself question about
whether this really was what life was
really about whether we should be
behaving in this way and was there
something deeper and something more
meaningful that I should know
about
and these questions started started
asking a lot of questions Within Myself
and I wanted to find the
answers and it was a very frustrating
time for me because I couldn't find the
answers anywhere I had no one to talk to
um my associates in in University my my
friends they didn't understand what I
was going through and um they just they
just saw it as a strange I'm being
strange strange Behavior asking strange
strange questions so I resolved myself
to find the answers for myself so I
started by looking uh really in the
libraries and looking um for books that
might give me some guidance so I started
looking into
philosophy I read uh the Western
philosophers their ideas I read some of
Easter
philosophy and um one book I came across
actually CH was a real turning point for
me and uh I wanted to share that with
you it was written by an English writer
called Colin Wilson and it was called
The
Outsider I just happened upon to come
ACR this upon this book in a film and
went out found the book and read it and
sat down and read it from cover to cover
and I was just amazed at the ideas
within the book
and the book called The Outsider was
about
individuals famous individuals people
who were involved in the Arts or people
who were philosophers themselves who
were trying to connect with the Divine
and this is something that struck a cord
within
me and so I read this book about which
which included um people from all
religions all all
philosophies and through that I I I
realized
that there were certain individuals
within the Muslim faith who were trying
to reach or had had connected to that
Divine reality who is our creator and
that really interested me and um these
people were known as the sufis um within
this book and within the tradition um
and so I was interested to find out more
about them and who and who they were and
what they believed and how they were
able to connect themselves to this
divine presence so I started to read a
lot of their poetry I read um the main
the main poet I used to read a lot of
was roomie Jin room who is very well
known in the west he's probably the most
one of the most popular writers um in
America uh po most popular poets known
in America and in the west and um I just
fell in love with his poetry I mean I
just used to it used to move me so much
into tears sometimes I used to cry over
his poetry because it was so beautiful
and it just speaks directly to the soul
and therefore I started to read a lot of
his works and there was one particular
experience that I I had while I was
still Los in there actually reading one
of his poems I was I was standing in the
library and I just found a new book and
uh I was reading through the poetry and
there was one line of verse which just
struck me and it shook me inside so so
much that I literally I fell to the
floor and uh I had an overwhelming um
urge to prostrate on the floor and I
didn't know what why uh but there was
just something um that the poem The Line
basically said was about letting go of
yourself about letting go of your lower
desires and about connecting to the
higher uh presence of of our our
creator so I didn't know what to do I
felt I had to pray but I didn't know
where I was supposed to go and pray um
so the first place I went to was a
church thinking that I would find um
Peace in there which it was it was very
peaceful in there and but I knew
obviously that the church wasn't a place
uh Christianity wasn't faith I wanted to
pursue but I wanted somewhere quiet to
go and just to
pray and after this time um of
researching I realized that um these
people uh the people who were known as
the sufis had some something that I
needed they had something that I wanted
and I was determined to find that and
determined to find the truth and find
that connection so I sat down with um a
map and a few books and I planned a
journey and I decided that I would
travel to the Middle East and to
actually meet these people and find out
more about them how they lived and who
they
were so I had a few addresses I had a
few places of interest and one of the
places that really struck me to go to
was K because K is the birthplace and
the the burial place of Jalin roomi and
um I was very attracted towards him
obviously and I felt a connection with
him and therefore I wanted to go and uh
visit his place of birth and and see if
I could contact anybody who who might
know about his teachings or who might
follow
him and there was other places I wanted
to go to uh Damascus was another place
that I was really interested in and I've
read a lot about um there was other uh
famous uh Mystic poets in Damascus even
even Al Arabi was one of them who I was
very interested in so I I dropped out of
uni unfortunately to my parents um
horror um they tried to obviously talk
me around and and say you know you
should carry on with your degree you
should finish your studies but I felt
that there's such an urge within me I
needed to go and do this um and I didn't
want to um let anything get in my way so
I packed my bags um just a few
possessions a change of clothes and I
sold I moved out of my house at Uni and
I sold all of
my everything that I owned actually um
to get enough money to go to get to go
on this journey and uh I felt that I
would find what I was looking for if I
if I if I made the effort to uh to
actually um follow my heart you know and
that's what I was convinced that if I
followed my heart and I followed uh this
uh aspiration I had to go and meet these
people then I would find the truth and
so with this conviction and so I'd be
very very strong I set off for
Istanbul uh when I arrived in Istanbul
um I didn't know where to stay I didn't
have any hotel booked but I knew that I
would find somewhere so I I just went
around find finding place to stay and I
found a place to stay and I spent um
probably two or three weeks in stanbul
going around the mosques um looking to
talk to people about Islam um trying to
find out trying to be an observer really
more than anything not necessarily
trying to contact people but just I
would go into the mosques and I would
sit at the back of the mosque and I
would just observe and watch people and
I'd also read in the books that you know
about um what they call Vi which is a
kind of way of
praying and
um so I had a testb actually what what
it was it's it's it's it's a be it's a
string of beads and a friend of mine
very good friend of mine from from from
uni had been to Greece and he brought me
back these worry beads and it just
happened that at the same time I was
reading about um the practices of the
sufis and and and the mystics of Islam
and that they would recite VI that they
would they would recite prayers on their
beads so having this uh this bead the
speads with me was quite U quite good
because I used to sit at the back of the
mask and I would say
ill I would say ill over and over and
even I knew what it meant because I'd
read it in the book I didn't really know
how to say
it but even just reciting that was just
absolutely incredible feeling to
me not having experiencing any
spirituality before but suddenly I felt
my heart was just like elevated you know
I was being elevated to a different
level and I was just like almost flying
you know I I would I was I was walking
through the streets of Istanbul reciting
this
this in my heart and I just felt I was
flying constantly and I was just in a
state of real closeness to to my Creator
even though I hadn't taken the shahada I
hadn't accepted the religion but I just
felt in my heart I felt I already had at
that stage I think and I was just
looking for a reason really a proof for
me to say that yes this is a sign or
this is this is it know this is what I
was looking
for so I think the thing that really
turn was the turning point for me and
convinced me that Islam is the true
religion was an experience I had when
through
traveling and um I had got a visa from
uh from London to go to Syria uh in
transit through through turkey so after
a couple of weeks in Turkey of you know
seeing the sites and and and and being
amongst the people I decided that we're
going to go down to Syria so I I
traveled and I I sort of hitched through
hitched height and and caught caught
coaches through uh through turkey I
visited con which is an amazing
experience for me uh to see where uh
room was buried and where he where he
lived and where he grew up and that was
a very emotional time as well I I was I
remember and I was also feeling quite
lonely because I was on my own traveling
I remember booking into one hotel and uh
it was just totally empty because it was
during
Ramadan and uh everybody was like it out
of season and it was just like a it was
almost like a mental one of these old
mental homes or Mental Hospitals that
you see in the films it's like
completely deserted huge place with lots
of rooms and I didn't get there till
very late at night and and it was just
remember sleeping this very cold room
with like a a kind of rickety old bed
and I was just kind of actually feeling
quite quite emotional and quite
sensitive and I was crying a lot and I
was crying to my Creator in actual fact
I was crying to God to show me the way
to show me a sign or to show me the path
or to show me people who could guide me
to him and after I spent a few days in
Kan I I decided again to as I said to
move uh onto Syria so I got to the
border and um it's a very long journey
to get to the Border takes many hours to
get there and I eventually got there I
think it was in the night and um
presented my passport and um there was a
problem with my passport they would not
let me through the
border and I had to catch a taxi to the
bo to get to the Border as well so it
was very difficult to get there and I
was really despar I didn't know what to
do I I was just really you know worried
about that I was in the middle of
nowhere I didn't know how to get across
the border because they wouldn't let me
there so even though I had a Visa they
were adamant that they weren't going to
let me through and I thought what am I
going to do you know I have to go all
the way back to anara which is the
capital of Turkey to get another visa to
go to Syria
yet so I felt within me this is there's
something there's a reason why I'm not
supposed to go across this border and
that God was intervening somehow I I
really felt that um and therefore I just
accepted it and on reflecting on it I
just accepted it and I said okay fine
I'll go back so two days travel back to
anara on the coaches stopping
overnight eventually got to the Embassy
in anara to reapply for my Visa and I
was waiting for my uh visa to be
processed when I met um somebody who
came up to me and said speaking in
English he looked like a Turkish man in
fact he was a Turkish man speaking in
English and he's saying excuse me can I
help you uh you look you know you look
like you're not from around here is
there anything I can do to help and I
explained what had happened and he was
very sympathetic and very kind you know
he his words were very kind and he
seemed like he was really car he really
cared about what had happened to me and
that really touched me and I thought you
know this is a really kind person and um
he actually offered turn around and
offered to take me in his car he said I
live near the border of Syria I'll drive
you 10hour drive to my home you can stay
overnight uh in my Village and then we
can I can take you to the border and I
was just like At first I was quite
suspicious cuz I thought you know
England when people offer you when they
offer to help you you the first thing
you ask is you know what does this
person want from me you know is there
something wrong with him or is he going
to harm me or
something um but I just felt that this
person was very sincere and I thought
that's very kind of you yeah and I
accepted so we both got in the car and
we started to drive and we drove for
maybe 5 six hours and stopping along the
way we had food and he bought food for
me and he was just very very caring
person a very very nice person and as we
were driving through along the motorway
he started to ask me questions about you
know why I was in turkey and what I was
doing and you know my background and
stuff and we eventually got round to the
subject of Islam obviously he was he was
a
Muslim and I think even it was during
Ramadan and he was actually fasting and
he actually bought me food and sat there
while I ate my food and even though he
wasn't eating at all but when he asked
me uh we started to talk about
Islam and uh we got into the
conversation of you know I got into
conversation and I was telling him that
I was really interested in poetry and I
was really interested in roomie and he
turned around to me and he said do you
mean jalad room and I said yeah and he
said do you know that I am The
Descendant the direct descendant of
Jalin roomi and he is my great great
great great
grandfather and when I when he said that
to me I just
and my heart just like jumped I just
wanted to jump out of my seat I just
couldn't believe what a coincidence this
was in fact I couldn't believe that it
was a coincidence it had to
be you know my Creator was guiding me he
was connecting me with the with the
people that I was looking for and my
heart I was just so happy I was just
overflowing I was just I just actually I
was just starting to cry because it was
just like a moment of relief and a
moment of pure
just thankfulness to God that he showed
me he connected me with the people that
I was trying to
find and so I explained to him you know
why I was really on this journey and who
I was trying to find and that you know
it was amazing that he was sitting here
in front of me the direct descendant of
roomi and a person who has followed his
teachings and understood his teachings
and had read the poems and studied the
the poems that I was reading and someone
who could connect me with this divine
presence that I was looking for so he
took me to his home I stayed with him
for two days he took me around his
village and we got to know each other
you know very well and he told me that
when I came back to Turkey I should come
and meet his father because his father
was actually the head of
the uh the silsila if you like or the
the group of uh students that followed
the teachings of Malana roomi and if
you've ever heard of the deres the the
whing dervishes that they actually he
was he was practicing um this uh this
way of Islam of the spirituality of
Islam and his father was actually a
lecturer who went around the world
lecturing about the Poetry of room and
the teachings of room so I was just
overcome I just couldn't believe that
I'd found this person and I definitely
took his contact and said when I'm back
in Istanbul I will come meet
you so having got the Visa I decided
that I would go on to Damascus and I
spent two or three weeks in Damascus
again traveling and meeting people and
and just observing
Islam and when I got back to Turkey I
spent again more time I met a lot of the
the sh of Kan and of istambul through uh
this brother that I had met um and I was
put in touch with a lot of people who
were very spiritual people um people who
I consider to be very close to their
creator and I remember visiting very one
very very elderly man who was who lived
in the suburbs of of Istanbul and was
going down into his
basement and he was called uh they
called him de day which is it's like a a
term of respect who was like like a
Sheikh if you like or or a teacher or a
scholar and I remember going down to his
flat and and and when I when I went into
his flat I kissed his hand and I just
felt he was very a man of Allah a man of
God you know there's no doubt because he
was very elderly and he's one of these
people who just in his presence you
feel um the presence of of God you know
because they are remember they're in
remembrance
constantly and I remember taking um one
of he he did like a blessing on me and
he he I remember him taking one of the m
one of the hats that they wear and he
was reading some eyes of Quran and he
blew into the hat and then he it's like
a way of uh connecting you to uh to that
um chain that goes back to the prophet
sallu Alam and when he placed the the
Hat on my head I just felt
very very very a lot of Peace inside me
and I felt very spiritual and probably
for the next two days after that I was
just actually quite uh in a state of
ecstasy if you like if you can call it
that um feeling very close to my Lord
and um feeling a lot of connection to to
God and uh I felt that yes you know this
is a this is the right thing and this is
this is this convinced me without a
doubt that Islam is the truth and that
these people are connected to the Divine
and that they have uh an understanding
between them themselves and their
creator so having met uh my friend Faruk
his name is who who drove me to the
Border in Syria having met his father um
in Istanbul he gave me some contacts in
the UK um of people who were um on the
path of spirituality in Islam and uh I
traveled back to to the UK and I and I
met up with uh a brother who works in
the um the library British Library who's
actually in charge of the Oriental
manuscripts Mah a brother who's very
dear to me because he helped me to guide
me to Islam and uh he told me of uh
various uh people and groups within the
UK that I could speak to and you know
good Muslim brothers that I could get
advice from so uh having connected with
these people I presently took my shahada
um in Sheffield which is I actually
ended up back um to the same road that I
actually lived on when I was studying at
Uni and it happened that there's a
there's a musk on the same road that I
never knew was a musk because it was
actually an old church and I used to
walk past there every day virtually and
I took actually took my shahada in that
in that place um which was an incredible
Circle if you like coming back a huge
circle that I traveled um physically and
and within myself I went on this huge
journey and I ended up back where I
started which is which is amazing
because it's kind of aimile to you know
how we all come from our creator and we
we go back to him you know and this is
our we go back to our Origins from where
we came from so after taking shahada I
went actually back to Birmingham I lived
with my family there and I went back to
stay with my
parents and um obviously my parents were
quite shocked with my choice of religion
and they kind of didn't understand it at
first um they're very very good people
and I I love them very much I mean
they're very respectful and they I think
it was more of a shock to them really
because it meant that I kind
of not rejected but chose a different
path to them and I think everyone
everyone wants every parent wants their
child to foll in their own path and
their own way and I understand that
because I have my own children now and I
want my children to follow my religion
but for them I think it was quite a
shock and um I uh I have two sisters as
well who um through the time very very
very soon after I I embraced Islam I
remember used to at first I used to have
to kind of pray um in secret if you like
and to like kind of explain to my
parents what I was doing because I was
quite nervous about how they would react
and um I used to get up very quietly in
the middle of the night and try and make
and it was quite funny because I'd have
a kind of bowl of water and take it into
my room and you know my wife I think my
mom actually caued on to this about
after about a couple of months and she
asked me what what were you doing with a
bowl of water in your bedroom at like 3
4:00 in the morning um I was actually
making W you know so um and I started to
talk to my sisters about Islam as well
and I used to kind of have private
conversations in the house with them and
um they saw a change in me they saw a
huge change in me because I never used
to you know we had the kind of
relationship where you know we'd sort of
pass on the stairs and you know sort of
make snide remarks at each other you
know and we had a I had a huge change
with my relationship with my sisters I
became very very close to them and um
through the the change that they saw
within me they started to look more into
Islam and they and they actually
alhamdulillah you know they embraced
Islam about a year after me and um that
is such a blessing you know to have
someone in your own family who's of the
same Faith it's such a a valuable thing
you know and a blessing to have and um I
actually had to move out of home at that
point because my parents were really
upset about that that my sisters also
became Muslim they were very very upset
and they didn't understand and that
point I moved out of home and I lived uh
I lived in near the local mosque for a
few months and I move back
home and I wanted to learn more about my
faith I had a very a huge urge to to
gain knowledge of my faith I wanted to
know what the Quran said I wanted to
understand the Quran and I felt so much
peace in my Salah and my prayers and
just just an amazing time the first year
that you become Muslim it's just you
know God lifts a veil from your heart
and it's like a key you know when you
say the Shah when you say Muhammad
it's literally like a key that unlocks
the the mercy and the mercy starts to
flow into your heart you know and before
I said those words it was very different
it's almost like and it's almost like my
Creator like just lifted a veil of my
heart and I could see things differently
I could see the reality I could see the
I could see into things and to see to
understand things in a depth that I
never understood before and it's almost
like that was veiled for me before
before I became
Muslim and so I wanted to study more so
I actually I actually went to uh spent a
couple of years in Damascus in Syria I
went back to the placees that I visited
as a non-muslim which is again amazing
experience you know to go back to the
same places that I went to and I had an
incredible experience out there again um
just Damascus is just an awesome place
it's just so spiritual and so uh full of
people who are who have so so much
knowledge you know and I I I really get
benefited from them and uh I also uh
married uh in Damascus and I met my wife
there and uh my wife came back to UK
after two years with me and now we we
live in Birmingham we have uh you know
alhamd we have children we have four
children
alhamdulillah um one one of the messages
I would like to and I hope that you know
my story um has struck a c with with
non-muslims because I feel I want to I
feel it's wrong for me to keep this um
this message and this faith that I found
just to myself you know I have I feel I
have a duty to tell others or to share
not necessarily to go out and preach but
to share with others the experiences
that I've had because I know there are
lot of people out there who are
searching for the truth and I I want to
give some advice to them and and I want
to say that you know you should follow
your heart and whatever your heart says
and
you the most important thing is to
acknowledge that you do have a creator
that there is someone who's created you
and who's looking after you and who's
guiding you and who is feeding you and
who you're going to one day have to go
and meet that Creator because you're
going to go back to the place you came
from and Islam is not a Str strer you
know it's not a stranger Muslims may be
strangers but Islam is not a stranger
and you do not have to change your
culture to become Muslim you do not have
to change your name to become Muslim you
do not have to change your clothes to
become Muslim the only thing you have to
change is
your your way of your way of thinking
your belief and you're acknowledging
that you have a Creator who is guiding
you and who is who protecting
you and Islam is not a difficult
religion to follow it's an easy religion
to
follow um all it takes is to acknowledge
that you that there is a God and that he
there's a messenger who he sent whose
name is Muhammad peace and blessings be
upon him and everything else after that
becomes easy so it's not difficult to
become Muslim and I urge you know it's
you have to have courage yes because you
have to
in a sense make some sacrifices you may
have to make some sacrifices with your
friends at your colleagues at University
they might not understand you may have
to make sacrifices with your family
because they may not understand they may
not agree with your choice of lifestyle
or your CH choice of belief but you
don't have to change everything to
become Muslim because Muslim Islam is
like it's like a it's like a a water
that takes on that
reflects whatever culture it flows
through and whatever color it touches it
takes on that color so it's it's not a
stranger
and I hope that you know my story gives
you courage to go out there and to find
the truth and to follow your heart and
to know that Islam there's something
within Islam that you should look
into and I ask that whoever's watching
this
this film that you pray for me and you
pray for my forgiveness and you pray for
my guidance and you pray for my family
and my wife and my children and um I I
know that inshallah God willing many
more people will Embrace this religion
because when they when they look with a
with a with a sincere heart and an
honest heart they will see that there's
great benefit great great blessings in
this religion that they can can benefit
from and uh I'd like to thank you for
giving me the time to to talk to you