In the name of God, praise be to God, peace be upon you, peace be upon you
thank you for tuning in another episode
of the de show we are here every wednesday
midnight thursdays at 2 pm and people
from all around the globe tune into the
deans show.com if you can't catch us
here if you're not in chicago you can
catch us at the deans show.com
now we're going to be getting into our
next topic but before we begin we're
to bring you up to some current
news things that are in the headlines
federal investigators tested automatic
automated controls for washington dc's
metro transit trains hoping to figure
out why the computerized systems
designed to prevent collisions failed in
a deadly crash this week nine people
including killed the train operator and
more than 70 were injured the charlie
angel star 1970 pop icon fair faet dies
at age 62 she was hollywood's golden
girl now fair faet who epitomized the
american ideal of has died after
years battling cancer the beauty Television
celebrity ed mcm has died ed mcm was a
success Comedian tv host who became
famous for his run on the tonight show
with johnny carson he introduced johnny
carson with his trademark here is
johnny and the to new that we find all
over the buz of the day michael jackson
energetic seems driven by the upbeat
upbeat weeks even hours before his
death colleagues and friends of michael
jackson appear to say that he appeared in
months to be rejuvenated by his recent
prospect of performing again he was in
great shape working out with a top
trainer getting his physical checkups
and just before his death jackson was
dancing like the old michael
of
and he died at the age of 50 so this is
the news death which is a reality as the
creator of the heavens and the earth has
said in the verb word of God the Quran
every soul shall taste death so this is
a serious event that is coming we have
an appointment with it and with that
said with the news bringing you up to
speed on what's going on
all over the world going to be heading
next to next
gu be about
[applause]
mar lah
god god god
god know may bre peace be upon peace And may
God have mercy on him how are good see again thank you
for coming and being with on the show it
seemed like when i saw you i told you
was like almost yesterday you here
pleasure being here with you we were
talking about marriage before again we
still going to be talking about time yes
that i enour that some
and so pleas would you like to see what
is i'm sure they would ahead and open it
up let see mas you got
the than you thank you for being now
before we toic
mar everyone should be to get married
soul enour
we talked about the new we this because
a real we all what are your coms on some
of the things we discuss subhan myself
actually remember growing up on that
culture even though was in one of these
gulf countries but was very interesting
actually hearing the news and i felt
like anyone else that just something
something that hits reality reality
reality when it hs it just brings you
back to all these now memories of the
past how you grow up and how people
grow up and so on but eventually no one
is really saved of that event that we
can all have to face It's an appointment
regardless of how great you are and
whether your achievements were you have
been a national international icon or
just an average person eventually you
have that appointment with allah subhan
wa taala and that shows allah said that
there is no escape from death anyway and
i think really during that time it's
definitely a time for people to reflect
that no one can es that regardless how
much you think
but i event that so for people to think
serly specifically just like you said
you know uh there were three icons of
this culture here in America and they
all almost passed away in the course
of one week and that is something really
amazing when you think about it how
three of probably the most amazing icons
of tv shows in in america and they all
basically they passed in that that
proximity of time Glory be to
things in the way of you all am how we
that mich jaon who prob the biggest of
celebrities pop stars before his death
he was preparing he was physically in
shape he was dancing he
was putting show that's it ex me you as prop
people for ahad of time all the time
most time other never do anything in
life if everyone knows that They gna
die next day or the next moment no one
will do anything in life be
completely desperate but here you see how God Almighty
plan things you have
planned your own life for extra time
extension but God that your
appointment with him will be closer than
that as the prophet says usually Adam he
always
has means that long hope for a longer
life so when people they basically they
things he will end
as to all all these be and alles this
couple more points should people feel
sad about this this pessimism when we
talk about death no as a should be a mo
because if you know that living one life
and that you know that they have
compl nega all the time and when they think
they always take that ne of it meaning
uh if i'm going to die why should i do
anything yeah what's the purpose of
doing anything no death should be a
motivation and that's one of the things
in islam subhan even the concept of
prohibitions like for instance the
prohibition of alcohol in islam the
prohibition of adultery and fornication
and so on all these things for some
people who would like to indulge
themselves and im themselves pleasure
they think these are as obstacles but
for a true believer they are not
obstacles as a matter there are
challenges so that you overcome you know
the reality of life these prohibitions
by something it's pleasurable but the
same time permissible yeah so if you
don't drink alcohol for example there
are so many other things that you can
enjoy you know life without drinking a
sip of alcohol if you cannot commit
adultery fornication bless you with with
the ability to go and select spouse and
enjoy life together death is the same
thing it's not an obstacle it's not
something to cause people to compl
anding their lives usually should be a
motivation only one life that living you
do it foral and you prepare that event
entire life so when you die at you have
done best inal now we the only islamic
program on the cable station can tv in
chicago so we have a lot of non muslims
listening and you
say the word allah basically means god
we talk about god subhan means glory to allah
praise be to allah usually as
muslims when speak the word of allah san and next
speak his name we always say all
praise to God all glory that's why
when we say the word subhan so usually
becomes natural as you speak becomes
part of your language all of the time
and
that keeps you always you know attached
and conscious about your actions your
word spe and
think you can give us some attributes
this cre that we worship also because
there is a of misconception people might
think that we worship a moon god or some
people worship a man some people worship
the creation of the creator can you give
us some attributes of this that we
worship actually this is one of the
major misconceptions about Muslims you
know when people see muslims they the
mooning theth andon
and some amer in the you see this also
this icon which is the
crent so when you say the chr people
they think oh so most they are most likely
worshiping the moon god and that's the
major
misconceptions it has nothing to do with
worshiping the moon god and this is
just like a fable some kind of old
stories from from from way before Islam
preda Islam arabs they
will worship so many gods so many id
and islam came came to prohibit all
these all these acts of worship so is
one and only one and he in heaven subhan
wala the sth heaven so when we worship
allah we do not worship we do not set
any partners with him that's very
important for us so the idea of ​​even
thinking of another god whether you call
him moon god this is whatsoever this is
an act of disobedient and act ofis we
don't believe in that as muslims and
that's conception because of these
icons that muslim use the only reason
they use the crent or the moon is
because just it's a sign of
calculation almost actually all the
traditional cultures and civilizations
they use the moon for calculation and
they have their own calendars so muslims
also they follow the same the same
concept and the lunar calendar basically
and when you use the lunar calendar you
be following the calculation of months
based on sting the moon or the crent
that's how it came about to become like
an islamic icon or may just as so
that now people can a little more
about you because you have an impressive
resume you studied at the prestigious
medina university and you are one of the
head instructors at university and also
you are the owner of the and
rate cerfer pr so we have
people.com under
gu now we want to get into some of these
question that people have marriage
something that you know people look
forward to and something really
encouraging Islam so we have some some
questions here that people are asking
and we talk to you because the master
what do mean actually means
jurisprudence or Islamic law when say
basically
rules of Islam in general
muslims their lives by organized system
of moral and ethical and ethics in
general so these are part of the islamic
system and part of what we call it so
when you have of salah which means that
the law of prayers how to perform the
salah so the specific e that needs to be
followed so you have of marriage same
thing the eate getting married and so on
so they go by that because we believe
being the creation of allah
need live by his laws and his rules and
he know is best for creation so when he
sets these rules we definitely have the
full trust and confidence that brings
the best to to mankind got you okay
let's get into the questions now go for
it everybody is excited they want to
know they want answers to these now
first question is brother is asking i
think coming from a brother he says
there's a sister who interested in for
marriage and i think she has the
feelings towards
how do i confirm this without crossing
any lines this is one of actually the
trick way of doing things because muslim do
not believe that in dating and they
believe that there should be some kind
of guidelines whatever to interaction
between man and woman yes and so
therefore if someone have some feelings
let's say towards a lady and he is
genuinely interested in approaching her
and he would like to go and pursue that
in the most permissible way which is go
for marriage
ifs instance some married c mar people
whom he assumes that his friends wies
they know that lady that they bring him
more information about their
availability and so on so if they tell
them that she is available for example
that means she's not engaged she's not
married and so on um and then in this
case he can some informal let say
show interest send this g is interested and
in this case if she if she shows similar
interest then he goes to the formal
talking and discussion and knowing
to get to know each other and so on but
if if they receive let say negative
response that she's not for example
available she's already engaged or maybe
she she's not ready at all uh because
she's she's doing her school or
something like that then in this case
the person should not really put too
much energy into that because going to
be consuming so just call it off and
start
lives okay you're at a convention let's
give some kind of practical ex now tell
us what would be the ring what advice
can you give a convention we know that
the male the female they should be
lowering their gaze but you're looking
around and just something gets cau in
your eye and you glance and you see
each other and you say wow i need to get
married and she might be the one now you
got s with you may friend you don't let
can s someone else approach her or
maybe if you don't have a sister you
have someone else with you that you can
try to approach that person to ask for
her guardian absolutely mean as long
done in the most respectful manner then
it's okay so the best way of doing it
basically which is the tradition most
traditional if you have your sister with
you or a wife of a friend who can
approach that for example again and and
give informal request or basically uh uh
what we called which means just like
request of engagement if if there was
any chance for that this is the best way
of doing it and even uh better off if if
you know the parents of the lady
because eventually in traditional
families and muslims they value actually
traditional values ​​of they families
would like to have their parents be part
of their marriage and they would like to
they would be proud to have their
parents you know being
their you parents and you can have
someone who talks to herom or even you
to herad for example be that will be
even much better because that shows the
man how respectful you are that you do not
go let's say you know on your own and
islamic though what if someone was in
this kind of moment for example and
there was nobody at the time
to do that for them can the person go
directly and say talk to the person that
was going to next question
isam propose directly to woman but this
is based i would say on the general
general ambient and environment of that
locality so this is something kind of
offensive to some families um and they
don't like that because it's kind of you
know crossing the lines even though
islamic it's okay that's
permissible next mention that in correct
even a woman can even propose to a guy
directly provided that they have the
genuine intention for marriage means the
person is really ready it's not that
you know they saw someone and they just
now the moment of uh of love and
they say you know what i don't want to
lose this opportunity yeah it's not
about just losing an opportunity is
you ready for that if you're
not ready for your opportunity then
you're doing the wrong thing right now
so if someone for example broke he's not
even finishing his school he has no job
he has no accommodation he lives with
his family and so on how do you expect
this person to go and propose officially
i mean people they would say the first
thing they would ask about is uh who's
your family i mean are they okay with
that are you ready for it you prepared
for this so people before even they took
that chance start you looking around
uh in this case they need to be first
ready for it so if the brother let's say
the brother is ready he's got some money
in the bank account yeah he's got a
place where he can take his new wife yes
maybe he's even living at home and his
parents are saying that look we need to
safeguard child from you know forn so
they kind enough to say look you can you
know be in the room get you your own
room live with the family until you you
know get on your feet and get your
permissible to so now he can actually go
up at the masj or a convention somewhere
and now the prop found he said see her
before you marry her yes so now can he
actually get a nice look and say or does
he have to lower his gaze these are
practical issues this is can he now can
he now like he should say like okay i i i
i just happen to see you i wasn't
supposed to be looking but i look cuz
i'm trying to get married
m well the point is if the person owns
he already is ready is one thing but when
we say ready first of all let's define
that the meaning of being ready most
people they look at the guys the person
i mean when you say ready we talk about
the man because we believe that the man
is responsible to provide for the family
even if the woman even let's say the
lady she is also financially independent
and she has her own job or care and
still though you know in the mind of so
many people being ready for means the
man he the one be responsible for that
and woman she keeps her money for
herself in general unless they have
specific arrangements yeah so the man
needs to be ready by being ready.
involves two uh two sides of
that preparation usually uh you have the
initi initiation of marriage and then
you have the continuation of
marriage the initiation of marriage is
probably the most difficult financial uh
uh burden why because many people live
in in the american culture here um they
started demanding so much in order to
allow this to happen yeah so
the so they ask the man to prov such
amount of money that might be beyond let
say capability or at least maybe
consumes all just unreasonable exactly
and then they demand also let say a
specific lifestyle in of apartment they
need a house instead of a house they
might need even a mansion or something
like that even demand so much from the
person that they become overwhelmed and
they get turned
many young men and women their
families in particular they
consider this um a measure for the
social for the social status means the
higher that you ask for means the higher
your social status is and you don't ask
for that much people you know what they
just give their kids for nothing i
mean it's it's not about showing the
status you don't show your status by
doing that and that's why they pay so
much money for what they call it walima
which means that the wedding party
all and they have also other de for
that so basically it's really
overwhelming the second portion of
preparation is actually the continuation
of marriage which is once now you're
done with the marriage and the wedding
party now you can live together on your
own if the person has the capability the
financial capability of sustaining a
living an apartment at least or living
with their family if they have specific
arrangement for that and he can prov
can provent and then this actually for
that that's the meaning being and
prepared financially and people
assume you are ready if you have a
stable job yeah so when you are still in
school for them this is not this is not
a sign of maturity yet you have to
finish your school first unless again
you have a preparation or arrangement
with the family that they will help them
of course doing that so
that's the meaning of getting ready
actually for mar so now the brother is
ready he makes his sal he implement
this way of life total submission to the
creator alone and he's wanting to do
things right he doesn't want to fall
into the tricks and traps that are out
there of dating boyfriend and girlfriend
he wants to do things that are pleasing
to his creator now tell us because we
want to also talk about this place where
hook married do it right pr us
we have another we lot on this one what
is now the way to go about proposing to
a or to a brother well when you say to
halal way it means permissible way it
means islamic said there is a guideline
between separates you know the
permissible from impermissible when it
comes to interaction between man and woman
one of the things that also comes from
from the previous question is when
someone wants to propose he should look
should look down and so now once the is
means they are qualified to go and
propose qualified yes so once they
become qualified to propose then you
have different means of doing that some
of them are traditional some of them are
cultural some of them are just general
you know islamic when we say cultural
because we live in a in a multicultural
society there is no one defined culture
for muslims here mhm and the common one
for the younger one s specifically the
younger generation is the american
culture and when say american culture
it's kind of hybrid between the
personal culture that comes from their
forefathers as well as the islamic
interaction here in america so they have
modified some of their culture for
example so usually in the most common
i would say the most traditional
societies uh among muslims it is unknown
for a guy to go directly to propose to a
girl yeah it's kind of difficult to
basic to be accepted by the older
generation but the younger generation
they have no problem with that because
now they're already going to school
together they probably even participate
in some activities some conferences some
even so many actually programs that they
share together so then what's the big
deal to go and talk to her you think
that she is may the one yeah islamic
there is nothing wrong provided that the
person is really genuinely interested in
marriage it's not just a matter of
hanging out until school is over
semester is over and so on no this is
not acceptable at all but someone is
genu interested and they go directly to
the girl and they said i just want to
let you know that i let's say i have a
genuine intention inall doing things the
permissible way and i'm interested i
would like to know says if if you can i talk
to for father or to your mother or even
to if she doesn't have let say she's a
convert and she has let say no who can
or a guard who can speak on her behalf
or help her with that he can directly
propose to her and and ask i'm
really interested i would like to do it
the permissible way and i want to know
what you like to say about this or if
you would like to think about maybe you
know have me talk to somebody on your
behalf or maybe someone that you would
like me to uh to go officially propose
to eventually there so many
do yeah sometimes goes families many
people they interpret the word arranged
marriage and the think that you know
people are forced into it yes there are
people unfortunately who are forced into
marriage and being forced into marriage
is wrong yeah and as a matter of
fact it invalidates even the contract
yeah but culture sometimes prevails over
the over islamic because
muslim not all of them
and is some c unfortunately
they just creeping up mixed with absolut
so this is the thing that confuses many
people when they start hearing about
things like that so family arrangement
sometimes the guy he trusts his mom's
judgment the girl she trusts her parents
judgment and so okay whatever say if you
think is okay i'm okay with that why
because they would like to have the
family support that doesn't mean that
she's not going to sit with him doesn't
mean she not to talk to him or he talks
to her still to come together and
talk and converse and see things first
hand and once they feel
comfortable with each other they reach
that comfort zone they give their
decision and say okay it's okay i'll
take eventually with that does it work all the time
not necessarily yeah even in the dating
culture doesn't work all the time so
there are no guarantee basically whether
it's arranged or not arranged in this
case and so on there are no guarantees
that this is going to be successful
relationship because this success of
marriage has a lot of dynamics and
elements into it it's not about just
you know the beginning of it it's also
the continuation of the relationship
yeah so the choice is one thing and how to
work out afters tell us now let's
spend a few minutes before we come to an
end here on the de show with yas i
couldn't pronounce your name before you
remember that i remember that you're
doing very you so now you have this pr
hook up get mared do with training to us
about the ide
that to prov for those young men and
women who a culture that is kind of
foreign you know to them at some point
and some of it is kind of they don't
want to do something wrong that disp
their lord their creator do the proper
way how to get to know someone for
marriage and we believe that personally
actually
instruct and
teach love and love notes and of
marriage and of marage in islam and so
on i have seen so much going around in
the muslim community here in america and
the young ones they kind of lost because
they think one of the myths of marriage
is that they think marri is natural
everything is going to be okay because
everyone is doing it so why should it
be different for me then so i can manage
i i don't really need any training
specifically guys gu so proud of
themselves which is the masculine ego
and they so proud of themselves that
they think you know what i train i
don't want anyone to tell me how to get
married well guess what in the 20 21st
century you need that you need some
train absolutely because you need
someone to tell you how to go about
things in order to ensure that you have
success in that relationship prac mate
actually came out to all to solve this
problem and we started by starting the
marriage revolution the marriage
revolution which was like a blog we
started you know brainstorming with many
singles men and women and wanted to
bring ideas and suggestions what
exactly they think about one two three f
and so on eventually what do you need to
know about marriage all these things and
from their feedback we design prac to
help devising specific training of
course we are still in the early stages
of that and we're doing our best to
provide them with the best training that
we think it will be helpful to them
inall in the future we don't believe we
are perfect but we are trying our best
to help to help with that inall and we
are sure that if we keep going on and
continue things will be better ina in
the future part of
[Music]
serves and thatch serv we are trying our
best to make the most respectful way and
without crossing any lines again we're
not perfect in that either but we are
still trying to provide the service that
we hope will be very beneficial to the
young men and women in the muslim
community are you prepared because
there's a lot of singles out here and
mar prep all
to invite every give try just come to
our
website.com or the marriage revolution
to start you know the conversation and
dialogue with other singles and from there
inall they can make the decision like to
join us or not and we wish the best sh
thank you very much welcome for being
with us thank you very much and thank
you for tuning in to another episode of
the
show in the beginning we talked about
people who have died this is something
that should be on our minds our
appointment that we have don't hesitate
and put this off another start to dig if
you already haven't found the truth
start to dig for it just as you would
not put off cashing that 1 million check
that had expiration date on it you be
running in a hurry to get that money
there's something even more important
our appointment with and some of these
people that with us no more no longer
with us this
us to one of those
things is get married a worshiping him
alone wor the creator and not his
creation
and.com training
but the rational idea the rational exp
is you do your best
[Music]
Praise be to
God real of life
us
in trouble comes
[Music]
But
God
peace
beig liv day night so listen as we tell
about a way of life islam religion
propet teach abraham jesus
worship and there is no god but
Allah
[Music]