peace be unto you
alaykum that's the greeting of all the
prophets isn't it yes sir it is and we
worship the one God just like Jesus
worshiped Abraham Noah we worship that
one God we don't worship the Sun and the
Moon the creator of man and woman the
one God isn't it yes sir and he sent the
last and final ration of mankind the
Quran retim word of God is that right we
have it in his original tamper free
tamper proof aldah yes sir and
everything that we're deducing now you
uh uh you also are a professor at the
fix online university and you've also
taught around the world and you deal
with a lot of these marriage issues on a
regular basis yes sir and so now we
really want to stress and I as I open
the show doing it God's way doing it
because the society here we we've had
the previous Revelations the previous
book Been Changed by man so it's hard to
deduce the Divine guidance but we have
the book that's been preserved so we can
deduce it right with qualified
individuals like yourself and that's
what we want we don't want to guess work
and do it you know according to what we
think is right because we could be wrong
or right we want to do it God's way we
humbly want to submit if this is the
blueprint is verified stamp of approval
from God we want to do it that way
rather than how Joe Schmo or Mo think
that is the right way it's interesting
to note when we talk about marriage I I
the thing that I always see every day is
that when there is a
problem you can easily solve the problem
if in the beginning the marriage
contract was clearly understood if
everybody knew what they were getting
into to from the
beginning then when we get towards the
end of saying talking about divorce it's
interesting again to note that the
sahaba had a high rate of divorce you
know there was divorce the divorce count
or census what you want say was high
amongst the sahaba but there was not a
sick Society what's the difference the
difference is just like you said they
divorced according to the Sunnah and
they were together in kindness they let
go in kindness when there were children
involved those children went with their
parents meaning that it was the the
woman got remarried she the children
went with the father and the woman
didn't find an excuse to say well she he
can't have them why cuz I'm mad at him
they won't say they're mad at him say
Well he's not good enough for the child
well we understand the young lady
doesn't think the husband is good enough
or they wouldn't be divorced in the
first place but he has a right to those
children when she gets divorced and then
you find the women don't want to a lot
of women I should say don't want to hold
to that principle or that rule or they
want to find every excuse in the book
not to give the man his rights in that
regard okay and then they complain if
the man doesn't provide for them which a
man has not does not have a right to
spend on a woman that does not fulfill
the obligations that she has we call
this n and that that's a whole different
issue as well the point is that all
these issues should be done instead of
in front of a qualified person the
marriage itself should be performed by a
qualified
or or an IM or however we want to use
the term or an that should that's the
one that should perform the marriage and
not any you
know which we say any Tom diari amongst
the Muslims likewise divorce it
shouldn't take place at home with the
husband husband gets mad I
divorc you know you're divorced you're
divorced you're divorced and then you
know no one knows she's divorced she
doesn't know if she's coming or going no
the divorce should take place with a
qualified individual and these things
should be stated going back if we were
talking about polygyny earlier or how to
get married the first thing we have a
lot of young people call or they they
write me letters and say how do I get
married if I don't know the brother how
do I get married if I don't know the
sister you never know the individual
until you're married to them if you do
then you're having a fake marriage the
girlfriend boyfriend thing is like play
marriage as I heard you say a couple
times have a play marriage you're doing
everything what's the marriage then and
that's the high rate of of Zena you know
is taking place in the society because
they have these little fake marriages
okay so how does a person get married in
Islam first of all if it's a young man
or a young lady you have to convince
your parents if you're living at home
that you are ready for marriage that if
you cannot in you know impress the fact
that you are mature enough to the people
that know you the best then you should
not be seeking to get married because
these are the people that know you the
best
now if your parents are saying well when
we find this situation my mother and
father only want me to marry somebody
from my you know people my race and I'm
interested or My Tribe and I'm
interested in someone who's from another
tribe you know this issue parents have
to start becoming wiser in their
decision making your children are not
you their culture is not your culture
the American culture alhamdulillah has
overridden all other country's cultures
when you bring them here and that's not
a bad thing in and of itself it's a bad
thing if that American culture itself is
bad Islam seeks to do the same thing
override all cultures and Destroy This
nationalistic mindset so
alhamdulillah we should to learn an
example from the concept of being an
American it's not a color what's an
American just like we say what's a
Muslim it's every type of color and that
should be the thing that you focus on
whether that person that your child
wants to get married to is actually
Muslim following the Sunnah I suggest to
men if you want to marry a young lady
you go tell your father and then you get
your father to come in and represent you
a lot of times we say the woman has to
have a w but we notice also that the
prophet s alh wasallam when he got
married to Khadijah he went and got
abass to represent him and he had for
himself a w someone to represent him so
I always suggest for the man to go get a
W for himself as well as as the lady and
let these adults these older people not
not your man not your little homie you
know but someone who has some some
position in your life to intercede on
your behalf and talk to the other family
and the more people involved in the
marriage getting the contract together
the stronger the marriage is going to be
likewise if someone a man now he wants
to get a second wife this becomes a big
issue a man wants a second wife he has a
wife he wants to get another one or a
third one you're about to meet a man who
has four wives and they'll all say
they're one big happy family and now one
family is crusading in court to make
their more the merrier lifestyle a legal
one and so far they're winning lots of
men come and say do I have to tell my
wife that I'm getting another wife yes
you cannot have secret marriages the
prophet Sall Ali wasallam said that we
announce the marriages there is no
boyfriend and girlfriend we announce the
marriage there is no boyfriend and
girlfriend no you know secret love
affairs so how is this done though
because said the prophet didn't announce
it to his wife in that matter what the
prophet s wasallam did and had he had an
understanding with his wives so what we
have to do when you want to get another
wife you have to sit your wife down and
say listen wife alhamdulillah I believe
that you're a good wife cuz a lot of
women believe you get a second wife
because she's broken of some sorts no I
believe you're a good
wife however I would like to get another
wife I don't have another wife you do
this before you want before you find
another sister you go to yourself you
find yourself with your wife and you say
hey I would like to get another wife you
know in fact why don't we do this you
know it takes some time to discuss it
you know how to actually do this but the
first thing he should do is sit his wife
down and explain to her that he wants to
get another wife but he doesn't have one
right now and he wants her to understand
that if she understands it she doesn't
have to agree and he doesn't have to
convince her he just has to let her know
this is where he's at and if he leaves
it alone like that then by Nature
the the situation will adjust to his
favor okay she will say I don't like it
he will say I understand that I'm just
telling you where I'm at and then let
time go so so we covered it earlier we
got to take a break but again for the
people that watched the part one to this
episode this is the legacy of the
prophets of God this is something that
uh is to Pro protect society and again
to give that man that right if he needs
to do it he does it because there's no
boyfriend and girlfriend Islam there's
no test drive driving going here going
there this is to give another woman that
right and you see a lot of men dying in
Wars you see a lot of you know these are
just some of the wisdom it's not
particularly for that but if somebody
from you know who who's never heard this
before and then they're like this this
might seem very bizarre or very you know
well I don't see how people can say it's
bizarre you know because you know it
people can be homosexuals and they say
well he's born that way it's he's a
homosexual here is a man saying he's
Desiring another man or a woman saying
she's Desiring another woman and this is
acceptable and natural but for a man to
be that much of a man that he desires
and wants more than one wife is bizarre
no I think that what has happened is
this we're in a modern day Mecca where
every religion is allowable allowed
except for Islam you they have all these
Idols at the Caba back in those days and
now we have any religion you can say
that you smoke you know dope and that's
your religion and that's oh that's so
cute but when it says that no Islam is
my religion and I'm Superman I want to
have more than one wife or I'm that much
of a man if you'd like you know then
that's bizarre I I I find um f with that
but you do see a lot of politicians
presidents where they end up committing
adultery they end up break I mean this
was even look what happened to Tiger
Woods look what happened to other guy on
TV the the the the other TV host I have
let you
down and I have let down my
fans I love my wife with all my heart
I'm a man just like everybody
else and
embarrassed and
ashamed
for committing
adultery indeed I did have a
relationship with Miss Lewinsky that was
not appropriate it's the secret stop
talking about the cheating he cheated on
you well he's a man okay he he's having
affair with another man's wife yes you
know and then what happened to the
governors and like you said he's they
pull these ladies in from Venezuela and
they say that she's a a domestic servant
what she really is is a slave girl for
him you know this the modern terminology
for a slave girl is a domestic servant
and he gets caught having intercourse
with this lady and this is totally
understandable because this is the
nature that Allah created men with a
desire for women or even Hugh Hefner
it's okay he's got his three girlfriends
they got a reality show about him and
that's okay cool but he's not giv them
their rights as wives but now when the
man steps up and does it God's way and
lets his wife know yeah and doesn't put
it in a hiding spot and he's not
sneaking around this is my wife he may
put some sh shade on it cuz you know
you're not going to throw it in the
lady's face but this is my wife and he's
handles his business legally with both
of them then that seem as bizarre she's
got her own apartment they're not uh
he's got her she's they have their own
Apartments own pH bills the woman should
not be forced to live together unless
some Calamity happens some people think
this is like some you know they're in
the you know some a and these typ of you
know um porno type situations
rather this is the type of thing is not
acable in Islam rather each woman is
treated with respect the woman has her
own place and he she the other lady has
her own place now let's say the man is
poor if the man is poor then he
shouldn't seek to get marriage if he
cannot afford to provide for them let's
say he has a place for them and he loses
his job then his situation is the same
as any man who has one wife and he loses
his job he doesn't have to divorce his
wives because he lost his job he may
have to downsize and and that becomes a
challenge of life as it is with any
other married people yeah you know okay
so we we get to see a lot of the wisdom
behind this but the main thing is it's
something lawful with God and it's
something that the creator of the
heavens and the Earth something that
Allah loves in fact the usle the
fundamental with marriage is two wise
Allah
says two three or
four so then if you're afraid that you
couldn't be just and this is just is in
time then only marry one so when we find
in the Shar in law when there is a
stated way mathna 2 three or four and
then a condition then the one that's
conditional that's the exception and the
fundamental is the first thing that
there's no conditions so with marriage
the the the the fundamental and a lot of
people hate to hear that they hate to
hear that but the reality is the reality
the fundamental with marriage is plural
marriage and the way we see that this is
the better thing is as we stated the
prophet of Allah even if we can't say if
we we we don't say every Prophet but
majority of the prophets had more than
one wife right but we also notice that
the last prophet who was the end of
sallallah alaihi wasallam the end of all
the prophets and the last example for
mankind had more than one wife and this
was not something specific for him but
his best companions also had more than
one wife so we find that that is the
best situation that is the better
situation and one wife is due to a
condition there has to be a stated
condition that you unable to be just in
your time or socially you can't set it
up that way there's a reason why you
can't do it okay but really if the women
knew polygyny is the better situation it
allows them the more freedom it gives
them more honor to do what they want it
keeps them in a lifestyle that is that
is real honorable they have more time to
spend with their family women by Nature
are are are are not as outward as men I
forget the terminology that that there
is but the men are are go out and they
speak with people not that women don't
but by Nature they have more shyness
than men so sometimes if you come
introvert is the term women are more
introverted than men so a man's coming
and going you got one wife a busy person
like yourself you come in and you
inundate this lady with all the things
you need her to do she has no time for
herself she has no time for herself but
if you give her some Affairs and then
you you go to the next house and you
take care of some Affairs over there now
she has some time for her own Recreation
Recreation some time for herself to
beautify herself clean herself and get
ready to do something else go visit her
friends visit her mother and do some
those things that the woman we see the
West woman thinks that she has but she's
running around like with a head chopped
off now this woman she gets to take a
break she doesn't have to cook every day
now she can go get some some other
education and spend time bettering
herself who what woman would want time
like that and still have her man to
protect her and then she still she wants
somebody to babysit her children she has
her co-wife over there there somebody
she knows that's in the family to trust
and protect her children so it's a
beautiful situation when dealt with
properly but what happens a lot of time
trauma and drama which leads to divorce
and the breakdown of the family from
within that has to because again the the
purpose for the marriage is to have
Tranquility peace and and if we live
amongst ourselves like that and make
that our point then we wouldn't have so
many problems because when these
traumatic situations happen in the
families whereas the woman gets so bent
out of shape and normally this happens
because of polygyny I mean we have to
say the polygyny word you know real low
you don't nobody throwing anything at us
off stage no but that's the thing you
know a lot of times the ladies don't
want to accept the fact that a man can
have more than one wife and this is not
just something in Islam it comes in
Judaism in Christianity because lack of
guidance they just have a gumar if
they're Italian you know their their
girlfriend on the side or Mr Jones he
has a girl down the block and they know
about it and they pretend they don't
recognize it but in Judaism and in Islam
and you know all the other types of isms
types of Wes lives they have something
similar where the Chinese they have
their uh was it concubine they're slave
girls and these types of things that's
the CH what some in the Chinese Chinese
culture they have that but but Islam it
makes it clear you have a wife yeah you
have another wife no girlfriends no
girlfriend no Mistresses well there's no
honor in that yeah you know there was a
survey done in England not too long ago
where they ask you know they have a lot
of of premar post-marital sets out there
meaning relationships there where the
guy is married and he goes outside to
marriage and say likewise the one
marriage she goes outside the marriage
that happens so much so they have whole
neighborhoods where these ladies are are
are are living and they're not the wife
they're the mistress so they ask them
would you rather be a second wife or a
co-wife than to be the mistress and 90%
of these ladies were talking about
they'd rather be a a co-wife a second
wife and have honor and their reasons
were remarkable not necessarily for
themselves they said they said for their
children their children now are growing
up as bastards they can't have their
father's name they don't get to spend
the same quality time with their father
because they're not legally their
children and they have to hide their
relationship so they see there's no
honor in being the mistress the baby
mama syndrome and that type of thing
like that so in Islam it really makes it
clear marry the lady and have this thing
and if it's so bad then Allah would not
have ordained it you know this becomes
an issue too because a lot of the ladies
say you know I can't take it what do you
mean you can't take
it Allah has not made anything lawful or
permissible that is a harm or hardship
on the society in fact polygyny is more
for the ladies than it is for the men
because there are more ladies on the
planet than there are men and if you
just go by the concept well just one
lady one man then there'll be a number
of women that didn't have any spouses
not only that Allah says in the
Quran
okay meaning Allah has made the be
beautiful Ador
the love of and the desire for women so
not only do men like women they love to
have that desire for women it's
something that is that Allah made them
so if Allah created them this way then
it's not it's not something that's Haram
it's not something that's Haram at all
in fact it's in order to keep the
society safe so we find that a lot of
ladies find a problem with this and it's
okay not to like something you can say
well you know what it's lawful but I
don't want for myself okay it may be a
hardship however this is usually
something that makes the women go
overboard and commit sins and want to
make a traumatic situation now I'm
telling yourself and all the brothers
around the world you know that the
purpose of marriage is tranquility and
that if we withraw the line and say okay
when there's no peace then we have to
stop because Allah says to that we have
to live with them in kindness and let
them go in kindness as well well so when
all this this this trauma stuffs coming
then I think that it's incorrect for the
men to allow the situation to Prevail
you know because now you cause harm on
the other family the new wife that's
coming in and now and you have an
obligation to that wife to make sure
that she's kept safe and that you don't
bring the trauma that you have in one
family into the next and that's what you
usually find that the woman gets so
depressed and so jealous that someone
that you're actually finding Tranquility
outside of her opes and she's not going
to give it to you right that she wants
to take the drama from her house over to
the next lady's house so that she
likewise cannot have any good thing and
good times and she wants to share
whatever bad qualities you have with
that other lady so oh you think he's so
great but he's like this he's like that
in order to bring down the the man in
the sight of his family this type of
interaction is what causes you know uh
dysfunctionality as some of the I show
us that if mama is not in tune with Papa
and Papa is not in tune with and sync
with with with with Mama actually it
says if the mother is not in sync with
the father and the father's not
providing for the daily needs of the
mother we're talking about the physical
needs of the mother then what will you
have except for dysfunctional child how
can you have a sane child in an insane
environment MH you know so it's very
important that the men and the woman
learn what their roles are and how to
control themselves Purpose with marriage
is tranquility well that's hey Allah
subh tells us that they
are they are they are a cover a clothing
for you and you are clothing and
clothing for them what do your clothing
do they cover you protect you they cover
your private areas your defects they
keep you warm in the winter time right
you wear different ones when it's hot
it's different ones when it's raining
they are protection from you if you have
a family you're married to a woman and
she's not and you don't you don't you
don't put on clothes that are ripped up
in raggedy right you don't want to wear
them you don't go out like that if
you're not covering your your private
areas meaning they're not concealing
your business your business is all out
in the street you know and and everybody
in the community knows this that what's
going on with you and your family then
that's a problem if it's not you know
sealing your private meaning helping you
lower your gaze you know because now you
go and you find peace you walk in the
house and the reason why the Allah
subhana is telling us the Tranquility
cuz a man is supposed to be outside in
the duny just like the clothe when you
go outside it helps you from the outer
weather right and keeps your body safe
so likewise when you're outside you're
seeing all these women you're dealing
with this dun and you don't want to come
to a house that's crazy so one of the
things for tranquility tranquility is a
big word but under it means cleanliness
the house has to be clean under it means
that when you walk in house your
children are well-kept so you feel that
it's worth it I'm went out there
fighting this D dealing with all this C
and I come back home and my children are
not clean my house is dirty my wife is
not beautified herself and I just saw
this this this woman out in the street
she's a cfer but she's beautiful and
she's adorned herself and I come in
what's competing with that it's just
natural and I'm not saying that the
brothers shouldn't do something to stay
in shape we say that because he
shouldn't be Abu Bitner also coming in
the house his belly is like 9 months
pregnant you know this is just as as
disgusting as for for for the lady that
just just lets herself go and I'm not
saying that women don't sometimes gain
weight when they get older they're
having our children we can't complain
about that however there is a nature of
keeping themselves up we know that being
fat and out of shape is not something
that's natural for the human because one
of the signs of the last day the prophet
sallai wasall said one of the signs of
the last day is that PE obesity will be
going on to rise so that we know that
this is not something that's normal this
is something that's one of the signs of
the last day of people no longer taking
care of themselves and so this when a
man comes in his house the prophet
sallallah alaihi wasallam said after
tawa of Allah the best thing you could
have the best commodity in the whole
world is a righteous wife and then he
when you see her you're pleased with her
so you come in house she's doing her
thing it doesn't necessarily mean that
she's the the most gorgeous World woman
in the world but she's clean and she's
beautified your house is clean and is be
beautified your children are clean and
they're beautified she meets you with a
nice Manner and she allows you through
her consideration to come out the from
the cold and being the ogre or the bear
and wind down and we have an example of
that in the story of um suain whose son
died when her husband was out and she
beautified herself so beautiful he would
more than he had ever seen her before
when he came and he was so amazed at her
beauty and she made such a nice meal for
him and then they had intercourse and
then afterwards she said she told him a
nice way that your son had died so he
was totally satiated from being outside
on the journey and this has to be taken
into consideration and the prophet said
about it I don't know any bad thing
about showing that this is the way it's
supposed to be in the family of course
the condition is the man has to be
providing for the woman and we you know
this subject can go many different
angles we're almost out of time we just
uh we let's start to wrap it up and
we're going to have to continue on to do
another episode because this is such a
vast topic we were going to talk about
you know keeping the marriage together
and we started to talk about another
element of Islam that you know the man
isn't allowed to go ahead if because
there's obviously following the the
legacy of the prophets many of them had
several why Abraham all of them except
for so they all the majority of the
prophets had the ones that we know about
had more than one these were the best of
humanity right yeah so this is something
where the man is uh obliged to take care
of his responsibil ility there's no as
they say uh uh getting around so you
need to take care of your business and
take this uh won as a responsibility and
it's a big responsibility isn't it it is
a big responsibility and it's not for
everyone I'm not saying that everyone
should go out and run out and get a new
wife or a second wife or a third wife
I'm not saying that but it's part of our
society yeah and it's not a part that
can be ignored yeah and it is something
that is one of the major shy away things
and we can talk about how that should be
done yeah so we we'll we'll get into so
we covered that no girlfriends no
boyfriends in Islam is marriage marriage
or something so sacred being kind to the
wife and the wife reciprocating and
giving uh the husband that right that he
has that he's the leader of the house
that he's the one that God Almighty put
in charge so he's driving the ship
steering the car she's the co-pilot yeah
she is she is the co-pilot yeah so
they're working together as a team they
should be yeah and at least when they go
here if we can wrap it up I think cuz
there so much to talk about as I said
earlier knowing the dean knowing the
Divine guidance that was sent from the
creator of the heavens and earth Islam
the total and complete submission to the
one God knowing your rights and roles so
then at the end you don't play the
guesswork game like we'll do it like
this we'll do it like that everything is
not deduced from the verbatim word of
God or the authentic Sun of the last see
this is why the marriage contract is
very important in the
beginning knowledge precedes words and
deeds right in the beginning of that
contract I have found that the most
people that are involved in a contract
then the better the contract is you know
like you said people have to come learn
and we want to that's what you know you
and I want to do provide the opportunity
for people to come learn you have a a a
class that you do also Women's Law
women's only law class you can find it
at my fix. org F i.org and it's for
those people who really want to learn it
can't be done in a 30 minute sitcom okay
you have to sit down you know 30 minutes
a day you know and after by and by
you'll learn your rights and you'll know
your obligations and it'll become part
and parcel of your life let's continue
on talking about this topic when we come
back and inshallah we'll have you back
so we can continue on God Almighty Allah
thank yeah you're about to meet a man
who has four wives and they'll all say
they're one big happy family and now one
family is crusading in court to make
their more the merrier lifestyle a legal
one and so far they're winning one
husband four wives 17 children I Believe
In Living this lifestyle we know them as
reality TV stars on the hit show Sister
Wives I wouldn't want anything else but
now Hollywood's most famous polygamists
have taken on a new unlikely role as
legal Crusaders embroiled in a courtroom
fight over the fate of polygamy are you
prepared to take this all the way to the
Supreme Court if you have to absolutely
it was really an issue of freedom of
expression freedom of love anybody
should be able to organize their family
according to how they choose and they
won the first American polygamy ruling
in more than 130 years a federal judge
siding with them in December declaring a
key part of Utah's polygamy law
unconstitutional Cody Brown can openly
live with his wives just as long as
there is only one marriage license and
Cody is only legally married to Mary
Brown the others are his spiritual lives
back here on the dean show with shik Abu
Toba and you deal with a lot of
different marital discourses and we went
from the beginning really trying to keep
families together the husband being kind
to the wife and the wife also giving the
husband his rights and they both living
according to the Divine system that God
Almighty sent which is Islam tamper fee
tamper proof and then the divorce if the
divorce happens we went off we talked
about polygyny also get to talk about
divorce we might have to we might have
to uh do another show for that we talked
about polygyny and no boyfriend and
girlfriend in Islam doing it the lawful
way according to God's ways that you
take on another woman and you give her
rights you treat her kindly she's not a
concubine or a slave or a girlfriend or
a mistress she's a woman that you care
for and you take care of and the first
wife now might feel a little bit like
you went over her and that she's not
good enough for more she's broken down
or you know what other things do you
hear that are totally not true well the
first thing that is that is that is that
is that when when a man wants to since
we went off into this topic we went on
on this you know maybe we can stay on
this for a little for the remaining time
and is should a woman feel like she's
now disrespected because of is that
she's put down stepped down no you know
alhamd a woman should not feel at all
that polygyny is a disrespect to her you
know Allah subhana she has to remember
Allah ordained polygyny so doesn't mean
that every man has to do it but if a man
chooses to do it it is not a disrespect
to the woman at all Allah would not
order something that would disrespect a
woman a lot of women feel that they're
something they did if you're a good
woman your husband is going to want
another wife if you're a poor woman a
bad adab your husband's definitely going
to want another wife why is that is that
just something
natural Allah says that he has created
in mankind the love and desire and the
and has beautified for man women
everything about a woman attracts a man
and you don't multi-billion dollar
industry the porn industry as a Muslim
you cannot and you cannot be watching
porn you can't be doing any of these
things that men are why supposed to be
doing those things for you that's it the
wife so this is really stressed because
someone from the outside again might be
looking at this like something that is
just something totally like that's
because they're inundated with things
that are kufer they have a plastic
society that substitutes reality
with you know like you said porno this
this things image as opposed to a
reality you know polygyny is is is is
for the health of the society not for
the detriment of the society is to
uplift the women and to take care of
them you know we have so many women out
here who are depressed who need someone
to take care of them and not only that
it's not just for the women the men the
men themselves enjoy the company of
women and they have to do it in a lawful
fashion and not an unlawful fashion but
it's no disrespect to the the first wife
but I would say this it's definitely not
for the first wife to disrespect the
next wife because after they're married
there is no first second wife they're
just his wives yeah there's there's no
I'm number one I'm big one I'm
kab no there's no big one little you no
they're all both your wives and husband
has to treat them fairly jealousy how
does the one deal with the jealousy it's
overwhelming alhamdulillah the
jealousies the wives of the prophet were
jealous when when we read the stories of
the wives of the Prophet where they even
argued I would suggest for a men never
get into your wives arguments if they
start arguing hey take your children
move them out the way so they don't have
to be exposed to that and the woman
should be wise enough not to expose
their children to these types of of of
drama okay because this is from part of
her being a covering for her husband but
the husband should not get involved as
we don't see the prophet got involved
with the arguments of the wives that
that he had but the woman knew where to
stop don't start cursing don't start
doing these type of things jealousy is
natural however there has to be a limit
to it just like a man desire for women
is natural but he has to have a limit
meaning he shouldn't go out there and
have more than one wife I mean sorry um
have premarital I'm not premarital what
am I talking about ultr marital
relations should have a girlfriend
because he desires another woman you
know he should get married within that
the context of Islam likewise a woman
can be jealous but her jealousy
shouldn't make her go knock the other
lady's door down or curse at the lady or
throw fits and and traumatize the the
home environment so they has to be just
like she wants him to not what does she
want she want him to go out there and
have you know a girlfriend is that what
the the solution is or does she want him
to say no suppress that desire that
Allah gave you no either one of her
statements is wrong his desire to have
another wife is a natural one if it
fulfills it in an honest legal marriage
islamically legal marriage then that's
okay if he does it outside of that then
that's wrong you know and I wish women
would just think about that if they want
their husband to show restraint they
have to show some type of restraint
however the husband shouldn't be
sneaking he should go to the woman first
and foremost say I believe in having
another wife and if I get a chance I'mma
do it not do it and then tell her tell
her that and then say hey I'm not going
to tell you when I get married I'm just
telling you now that I want another wife
and the way the prophet did it if he got
married he got married I'll tell you
afterwards and then let her get get used
to that idea before he just runs outs
and gets married you know and and having
the wife involved in the process may not
be the best thing everybody has to go
about their Affairs their own s but the
more people involved men involved in in
in the mean from her side of the family
and his fight then there should be some
as well I shouldn't say the more people
involved there has to be some cover the
prophet Salli wasallam said go about
your affairs with some cover so you
shouldn't go announcing I'm talking
about marrying this sister and then it
doesn't work your wife hears it her
feelings are hurt oh I'm thinking about
marrying this sister your wife hears it
doesn't work out her feelings are hurt
again oh you trying to marry everybody
in the city no your wife shouldn't find
out until you're married so that it
doesn't ruin it the prophet sallallah
alai wasallam said that when you find
somebody that you like and they like you
you get married if you don't you're
going to cause fitna and Mischief so you
shouldn't expose your wife to every
woman that you think you're going to
marry especially since it doesn't always
work out yeah and you want to get
somebody good that's going to work for
you and your whole family not some young
lady or old lady that's going to come
into the family and think that your wife
is broken oh I'm here because because
you ain't doing something no you're here
because your my husband wants you and
they shouldn't going to be their
conversation if the woman focus on their
wies their husbands and their household
they have nothing to do with the next
lady has nothing
whatsoever and the men should stop
explaining and trying to explain why
they want to get another wife just like
we can't understand why a woman wants to
have a baby or how it feels when she has
her Menses they cannot understand what
it feels like when a man wants to have
another wife it's something natural that
he put only in men and something natural
he only put in women we can never know
what it feels like to have a baby we
could never understand that and likewise
they could never understand what it
feels like for a man to have the desire
to have another wife and if they say
about the issue about how can you have
how can you love them both you have two
parents you love them both you love them
differently you have brothers and
sisters you love them also you you know
love is not something that just can be
contained just by one person you know
you love and your love is not limited
like that and your constant sharing and
they love as well if ask which one of my
children do you want me to kill if I
don't want them which one don't I love
and you love them all and you show you
treat them fairly not equally I mean not
equally not the same I should say but
fairly because they're different
personalities and the different needs
they have and likewise that's the case
with marriage yeah we're going to have
to cut out inshallah God willing we have
to continue on uh with this series
talking about family talking about
divorce and some of the ways that we can
help keep the family together some of
the ways that we can keep from just
doing it the wrong way and focus and
push people to get educated educated on
their Dean on this beautiful way of life
way of life of all the messengers of God
Islam that complete submission to the
one God doing his will not our desires
we can continue on inshallah sure inshah
may God Almighty creater Allah reward
you thank
youum peace be and thank you again for
tuning in to another episode of the dean
show you can go to theen show.com sh
abuba has his own section there so you
can see some of the shows that we've
covered in the past and as we started
with peace we end with peace and we hope
that you can continue to learn about
this beautiful way of life the way of
life of all the messengers of God
submitting yourself entirely to the one
God not your desires so in matters of
worship prayer
fasting charity everything's been laid
out how to do it and in marriage the
role of the husband and the wife how to
live together in peace and Harmony so
you can have Tranquility in a house if
we do it God's way Allah's way we're
going to have it that way but if we run
and do it according to our desires then
there's going to be corruption and
there's going to
be so much disunity and we want to make
sure that there's unity and we want to
make sure that we're having happiness
and finding Solace within each other but
we got to do things a Law's way God's
way the Creator's way so we can achieve
success in this life and success
definitely in the next and we'll see you
next time here in the dean show until
then peace be unto you