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maybe you were a person that wasn't very
religious at all and you were living
life like the rest of your extended
family but something came in your heart
and you said you know what I'm going to
take this guidance seriously I don't
know how it happened maybe Allah made it
happen through some YouTube video or a
friend or however it happened but you
decided to make a change for the better
in your life and when you start changing
the behavior in your life the first
people to see a change in you will be
your own family they will notice it they
will notice that you're not the same
anymore you don't talk the same you
don't act the same you don't go to the
same places you don't even have the same
friends anymore and this necessarily
happens when you take a turn towards
Islam necessarily you start losing
friends because your old friends used to
do pretty bad things and now you can't
do those things with with them anymore
so you suffer a loss of friends and at
the same time your your family starts
saying you're acting a little too weird
and for the young man the family might
even say what's that thing on your face
you forgot to shave what happened to you
and the girl starts wearing hijab and
the family might even be in shock and
this is a Muslim family mind you they'll
say take that thing off your head you're
going to go out to the wedding looking
like that I can't sit in the car with
you like that what do you think we are
who do you all of a sudden you're the
Islamic Ro role model who died and made
you sheh that all of a sudden we should
be looking up to you remember what you
were like last year man you were the
party animal now you're going to go make
Salah yeah seriously please we know what
you're really like in other words this
not not only have you lost your friends
from your family you get the nastiest
kinds of sarcasm and criticism all the
time all the time every chance they get
they say something to you they say
something about your beard they say
something about your habits of making
Salah they say something about putting
your children in Islamic school they say
something about sending your children to
Sunday school or you getting up for
fuder or and going to the Mas they'll
have some comments for you and those
comments hurt they burn pretty good this
happens to young men in the audience
where their parents start telling them
to stop hanging out with their other
Muslim friends don't go to the Masid
don't waste your time I myself know of
stories where the father found out that
in between classes the son used to cuz
his classes were 3 4 hours apart in
between classes he used to go to the
Masid to pray and just study at the
Masid instead of studying at the library
where there's plenty of things to look
at might as well go make Salah and pray
in the mashid I'll be safer that way Dad
finds out you're becoming an extremist
son and what is the extremism in the eye
of the father that the boy is making
Salah in the Masid that's extremism for
him Subhan Allah Muslims themselves you
think non-muslims are averse to Islam
have you seen what Muslim families are
doing to their own what parents are
doing to their children I know of cases
myself where parents said we will not
pay your college tuition we will not
look for a wedding made for you until
you take that hijab off we will not do
it we do not accept you as our daughter
until you take that thing off we will
not show our face in public with you you
can't go with us anywhere this is the
mother telling and you know what they'll
say what's amazing about that they'll
make you feel bad about yourself they'll
tell you what kind of daughter are you
you should be ashamed of yourself you're
embarrassing your parents we're Muslim
but we're not Muslim Muslim we're not
that we're not those kind of Muslims
that's not how we do things in our
family that's what they'll say our
family is different we don't do things
like that in our family that's those
musjid people don't be like those musjid
people that's what they'll say and you
know what's amazing about that if you
look at a portrait of your great
grandparents from back in the day good
old Great Grandpa's got a big old beard
and you can't even see Grandma's face so
who's being true to the family and who's
an embarrassment to the family see this
is Muslim families today and you're in
the midst of all of this and you know
what happens because you've made a
decision to turn towards Islam if an
enemy of Islam came to you and said
abandon your religion you would say oh
yeah I'm going to be even more
committed you would become energized in
your Zeal for the religion when the
enemy attacks Islam we'd get even more
fired up Muslims get fired up in the
craziest of ways you somebody draws a
cartoon about the messenger sallallahu
alaihi wasallam and Muslims go crazy and
they'll burn some other guy's car up or
break somebody else because they're
really angry but we get fired up when
when something happens some something
questions the Dignity of our religion
even if it makes sense or doesn't make
sense but when your own family comes and
says look I love you I'm worried about
you I don't want you to become this way
this is the way of the people who fail
out of college who don't have a career
here who have miserable lives I don't
want you to fall into this extreme
somebody is somebody's putting you under
their influence you need to get away
from them they see see stuff on TV and
they become paranoid and you're in the
middle of all of this and it becomes
hard to hold on to your religion in the
middle of all of this it becomes hard
because it's not the enemy of Islam
that's pulling you away who's pulling
you away your own family your own
parents your own husband your own wife
your own brother your own cousins your
own in-laws they're the ones pulling you
away so how do you deal with that the
most inappropriate response to this
pressure is anger and you know what that
is the most common response too your
parents start yelling at you for growing
the beard and you're a young hot blooded
guy what do you do oh yeah it's the
Sunnah you can't tell me what to do
you're following culture and I'm trying
to follow Islam and you slam the door in
their face way to
go because that's what Allah wants you
to do yell back at your parents and
they're just take they're talking about
your beard what was ibrahim's father
talking about
am was he talking about something small
or something big go make such that the
idols boy and does he lose his cool does
he get angry we have to learn how to be
with our parents as even when they call
you away from Dean it doesn't matter if
they're Muslim or not
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Allah tells us if they struggle against
you to make you follow what they
themselves have no knowledge of don't
obey them while at the same time
accompanying them in the most dignified
fashion obeying them is separate
respecting them is separate just because
you didn't obey them for the sake of
Allah when it came to matters of Halal
andam or when it comes to matter of e
and or kuur just because you didn't obey
them does not give you the right to get
angry at them you can't
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