alhamdulillah peace be unto you welcome
to another episode of the dean show
which is a way of life we try to put out
there for everyone to see helping you
understand Islam and Muslims and we know
it's tough being young young in today's
society having many of the challenges
that come along with growing up trying
to submit yourself to the creator of the
heavens and the Earth I'm getting all
your emails and today we have a special
guest who's going to give us some advice
especially for the Youth so being that
our guests are very modest and they are
people who don't like boasting about
their knowledge we're going to take a
break so you can uh read about our next
guest and then we'll come
back with our special guest Sheik ibraim
zadan sit tight we'll be right back on
the dean show
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peaceful peaceful peaceful peace
[Music]
peaceful how are you alhamdulillah thank
you for being with us again here in the
studio at the dean show it's my pleasure
we're going to uh the the viewers got to
read a little bit about you so we
invited you on because you can help us
answer some of these important questions
I hope so insh inshallah okay I get a
lot of emails and I wanted to kind of
give a
summary uh of what uh the youth are
challenging today specifically we're
going to talk about the women here I
have uh some women who have have written
in emailed and asking for advice talking
about that they have decided they have
come to the realization that for
instance uh praying five times a day is
obligatory and they want to turn to
Allah to the creator of the heavens
Earth establish the prayer they've
they've realized that wearing the hijab
the Islamic the covering okay is
obligatory and leaving off a lot of
these other uh vices in society go
against uh the teachings of Islam
now they've come this far but now they
have another obstacle their parents
their family are making things difficult
how do we deal with these situations
sh well this is such a an important
question and it's the challenges that we
have in our life we have
to understand very well that our
religion is so comprehensive and Allah
subhana wa tala did not leave anything
for our happiness in this life and in
Hereafter unless it's mentioned whether
it's in the Quran or in the Sunnah of
the Prophet Sall wasallam so we need to
have two forms of power for the person
to be able to face all of these
challenges in the proper way the first
power is the power of knowledge to know
what to do the second thing knowing what
to do is one thing but the second thing
which is as important as knowing is the
power to have the courage to apply the
truth and to apply what we know when it
comes to challenges especially if you
talk specifically about the challenges
with the parents that are preventing
their children to observe the Islamic
manners and the duties ordered by Allah
subhana wa tala we have to know how to
deal with this situation first we have
to have principles in our life one of
which the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasallam he
said there's no obedience to any of the
creation of Allah subhana wa tala when
it comes against the orders of Allah
subhana wa tala and this is comes from
the basics of knowing that there is no
one worthy of worship except Allah
subhana wa tala and the prophet
sallallah wasam is the final messenger
so the absolute obedience is to Allah
subhana wa tala so we have to know that
very well so that it does not confuses
us if the order from Allah subhana tala
to observe the five obligatory prayer
then there's no compromising in this
whatsoever if the order from Allah
subhana wa tala for the women to observe
the hijab then there's no compromisation
in that whatsoever so we first has to
know the truth and we know the truth by
asking the people of knowledge and then
the power to apply this
knowledge uh to the power to apply this
knowledge takes from the person's IM we
have to build our IM if the IM is high
the person would have the patience and
when we recite the Quran you'll see so
many verses in the Quran that talks
about patience patience in applying the
orders of Allah subhana tala knowing the
nature of the life that we live in there
is Sun ways of Allah subhana on the face
of Earth that if a person says I believe
then he has to be tested or she has to
be tested as it's mentioned in the
beginning
of that do people think that they will
be left alone to say we believe and they
would not be tested this is never going
to happen so the person has to prepare
himself or herself for the test so uh to
go about being patient in this test is
to seek the knowledge to buildt our Iman
by reciting the Quran by turning to
Allah subhana wa tala with Dua and
supplication by putting ourselves and
this is something very important in the
proper
environment because the wolf eats from
the lonely sheep
so the same thing if a person embraced
Islam or repented to Allah subhana tala
wanted to change his or her life they
have to accompany themselves with people
that reminds them of Allah subhana tala
the friends those who the person is
closed with even if the person at home
he has some hardship he knows that he
meets them companions or or friends that
would remind them of Allah subhana wa
tala so that he would have more strength
in dealing with the challenges also
knowing the rights of to the parents and
being very kind to them and as we know
in the verses in the Quran when Allah
subhana T mentioned about parents that
are disbelievers and not just that that
but they're ordering their sons or
daughters to disbelieve in Allah subhana
wa tala what to do with them Allah
says do not obey them and have a good
companionship with them in this life so
we cannot obey them and disobey Allah
subhana t with the specific order
but at the same time we have to be very
kind to them and some people confuse the
two together they think that if they
disobey their parents when it comes to
the parents saying don't wear the hijab
they have to say this with harshness and
they have to treat the parents with a
very rude way in all of their daily
activities this is all wrong and this is
Disobedience to Allah subhana wa tala
but instead the person should disobey
the parents in that specific order and
then increase their good uh relationship
with their parents do the things that
they didn't used to do before because
now the religion of Islam and this is
the real servant of Allah subhana wa
tala he do the truth even if it's
against oneself someone is ordering you
to disobey Allah subhana wa tala you
don't obey them in that order but
instead you would you would make more
and more effort to be kind to them to be
patient in dealing with them with
goodness because this is another form of
worship to know the rights of the
parents and to seek help from Allah
subhana wa tala and never compromise the
de of of Islam cuz this is what we've
been born and living to do and learning
about the ways of the companions of the
Prophet that is also one of the big
means of help because they had similar
situations some of them they believed in
the religion of Islam and his mother or
his father would order them to
disbelieve in the case of for example
when his mother told him I would never
eat and drink and I would die unless you
go back and renegate from The Deen of
Islam and he told her in a very simple
and calm way he said oh my mother if you
have 100 soul that one Soul comes after
the other I would never leave this way
so eat or not to eat this is something
that is up to you in a very good way in
good manners and eventually after that
she ate but the thing is the
steadfastness that there's no going back
when it comes to The Obedience of Allah
subhana wa tala and taking these means
and being away from sins and being
sincere for the sake of Allah subhana
tala by the help of Allah things can
change by the will of Allah so we know
it's very difficult because you a lot of
times growing up you learn what's right
and wrong from your parents so now
you're stuck at that border that you're
finding solace in Islam you're finding
comfort and it's changing your life it's
having an impact your your Iman starting
to grow but now um this is the hard part
you know let's I'm going to put a name
on a you know this is uh because I get a
lot of email let's say uh a Girl by The
particular name Amina okay this can be
any woman or even a man but in this
particular place Amina she uh you know
uh when you talk to her you know uh she
tears come out of her eyes she's she's
she wants to be obedient but she has
that mother you know uh she rather
support her to go to a a cafe where
there's alcohol and mingling with boys
and she rather support her in these
actions rather than and then when
someone tries to invite her to go to the
Masjid now she wants to go but what
she's scared what her mom's going to say
so her mother's been teaching her what's
right and wrong from the beginning but
now this is that that cross how do you
you you really push through this and how
do you uh uh uh what should the parents
now be how do you address the parents
and the the the W the the woman at the
same time right well this is again for
that particular Amina right she needs to
first know that this is the nature of
the path that she ch choose to be on
this is the ways where prophets and
Pious people and righteous people they
walked on the same path she would feel
lonely and strange but when she
remembers that this is the same path
where the prophets and the righteous
people had walked on it would give her
more comfort so knowing this is very
very important and and increasing the
Iman and as the things as we mentioned
before and at the same time to be kind
to the parents and knowing that we are
in a test this is not Jenna this is not
Paradise we are being tested in this
life and soon all the matter will be all
over and a person will be judged in the
day of judgment according to their
patience and struggling and striving for
the pleasure of Allah subhana tala for
the parents especially for Muslim
parents it's very sad to hear and to
know that that this is happening because
of the weaknesses of the Iman of faith
in the hearts a parent should be very
happy that his son or or his daughter
going wanting to go to the Masjid
seeking the pleasure of Allah subhana wa
tala I remember remember one time a
father that his son was in
drugs and this son died as a result of
Overdose he said after his son died I
wish that my son was in the Masjid and
going to the Masjid and being obedient
to Allah subhana wa tala but I never
advised them to do so sometimes it's too
late so what do we want from our
daughters Sons and Daughters we want for
them to be obedient to Allah subhana we
want them to enter Jenna so we have to
understand this and for the parents to
be pleased that someone like that will
be a continuous charity after they die
for them but for the the son or the
daughter or for am this any Muslim woman
may Allah subhana wa tala give them
steadfastness and seeking the knowledge
and seeking the steadfastness from the
IM and faith and turn to Allah subhana
tala alone and never know that a person
is alone no Allah subhana T is with
those who are Pious Allah subhana wa
tala with those who are OB obedient to
him as it's mentioned clearly in the
Quran company now she's got she's the
only one she don't want to stick out
like a sword thumb she's the only one
out of her friends that are 10 or a
dozen and she's the one that's being
blessed now to see these things her
other friends are so she's scared now
also what my friend's going to say or
what my this is another dangerous uh
Temptation when a person is steadfast or
trying to be steadfast on the true path
why because friends are either will take
the person away or keep them strong on
the steadfastness path so that's why
when a person repent to Allah subhana wa
tala they need to make some hard
decisions because Jenna Paradise is
expensive it's very valuable as the
prophet s wasallam said and that's why
we have to do some sacrifice so some of
these sacrifices is that we have to be
careful who our our friends are there's
difference between giving da and calling
them to the right thing but don't get
too close because either the person will
give dawa or da will be given to him or
her so we have to choose the friends
that would once the person see them just
by looking at them they remind us of
Allah subhana not friends that would
make our hearts hard it might be
difficult in the beginning but with
patience with seeking help from Allah
subhana tala after some time it becomes
the norm and becomes the joy of this
life is to be with the com Companions of
those or the company of those who would
remind the person of Allah subhana tala
so it's very dangerous when someone
repent to Allah subhana tala to keep the
old friendship that would keep enticing
the person to do bad and bad and evil
but instead he should be away still
giving them da but the company that he
owes with are the company that reminds
him of Allah subhana be patient in that
and the matter by the will of Allah is
easy after a person would struggle and
patient in the order of Allah so some
dos and don'ts before we uh come to an
end if your friends are doing things
that are are displeasing towards your
creator you want to stay away from that
people like that that are maybe swearing
using found language uh uh being in bars
nightclubs these places you have no
place to be going in there wherever
alcohol is served am I correct right
that's correct that's definit okay
mixing with uh men now who aren't your
uh brothers or your husbands and you
know going double dating all this stuff
is a is a no no definitely these are all
steps of Shan mhm Shan the devil he does
not come all of all at once to the
person he won't come immediately and
tell the person drink alcohol or Commit
This or That of the major sins he takes
step by step and he's very patient yeah
so he would take the person well you
don't want people to say that you're
extreme just you know go for a little
bit give them da and then inah Allah
will save you yeah and this is all steps
of Shan that's where knowledge comes in
place and that's why Allah subh said to
the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam
the one that his previous and future
sins has been forgiven he said
that make yourself patient and this is
the prophet wasallam patience or in
Arabic has a bitter taste to it it's not
the the joyful thing or the most joyful
thing in the world that means it's
difficult it's against one's desire but
Allah subh T said to the prophet
wasallam have this patience to make
yourself sit with those who remind you
of Allah subhana tala in the morning and
in the evening and their prayers and so
on and do not extend your eyes towards
those who are in state of forgetfulness
ah why why because they would slip they
would steal your heart stealing without
even knowing about it and this is how a
person will go back to the old habits
without knowing once he woke up he find
himself that he's in a far away place so
that's why immediately all the time we
have to work on ourself and work on our
Iman and to build our Iman and never
forget whatsoever the moment of death
never forget whatsoever the he after
never forget that we're created for the
worship of Allah subhana wa tala and
again it's always a certain period of
time
and this is for everyone that is
watching and hearing us this is very
important it's not going to be forever a
difficult struggle it's just in the
beginning a a period of time if the
person is sincere and truthful with
Allah subhana wa tal and struggle to be
obedient to Allah and follow the way of
the Prophet s wasallam and follow the
way of the early generations of Islam
after sometime it becomes the norm he
would hate to go back to the old habits
again but we have to pass this difficult
uh time in the beginning what can they
say the the youth when they've been
hanging around with the people who are
going to these places they shouldn't be
going uh the youth that aren't really
practicing uh uh uh submission and
surrender to to their creator Islam and
now they getting the phone calls these
are people that you've been hanging
around with for 10 years 20 years but
now you've been guided now you see the
truth and you don't want to be a part of
this but it's a tug of war and they're
calling you on the weekends the week
Friday Night comes and you're used to
going out they're calling you how do you
get out of these situ this temptation is
hard and these are your friends that you
grown up with your whole life right it
has two ways the first way is building
our Iman and our faith constantly and
having a a set schedule in our life
perfecting our Salah being in the
company of those who are in the mass in
the houses of Allah building these
relationships and the friendships so
that we avoid having these types of
other friendship and then once this call
comes which is the second thing we have
to make our schedule busy keep busy keep
busy with what is good and with those
who remind you of Allah subhana tala so
that there is no time for especially at
these critical times Friday night
Saturday night whatever there is alhamd
most of the Islamic centers in the mass
because people this is where their break
is there are so much activities in the
mass Friday night Saturday Sunday be
part of uh teaching teaching the
children in Saturday school Sunday
school go I mean volunteer do these
types of work it's a continuous charity
otherwise the person might lose it
without even feeling that it's happening
so keep him busy doing good things doing
righteous things being with righteous
people right can you give us that one
Hadith I love this Hadith where the
Prophet peace be upon him he talked
about hanging out like an analogy uh
with a blacksmith or the one with
perfume right that the meaning of this
Hadith is how the the person the
companionship would affect his life if a
person hangs out with some hangs out
with someone or be in the company of
someone that sells perfume either he
will get the perfume itself or at least
he will get good smell yeah right but if
a person hangs out with with a
blacksmith either he would get burned or
the least that would happen that the bad
smell will affect him so this is the
same thing with the good companionship
and the bad companionship so even if the
person is safe from the bad
companionship he won't fall into the sin
at least he would get some of the bad
effects on him and this is actually a
wrong conception if a person has a
company of someone that is not obedient
to Allah subhana tala if it doesn't
affect him now it will affect him later
so this is the sun of Allah this is the
way of Allah the more a person obeys
Shan the devil and he takes him the the
Shan wins in one step he's not satisfied
with it he gots you weaker yeah he gots
you weaker that means you are more
easier to obey the Shan and he gets
stronger on you you know it's a it's a
it's a it's a relationship that you get
weaker he gets stronger you get stronger
he get weaker so if you don't pay
attention and go to the higher level he
will keep taking you you down step by
step till the person is in a very
difficult situation and bottom line it
comes down this life is the test do you
love your creator right the most or do
you love your surroundings your friends
are you going to care what your creator
thinks or you going to care what the
people think and that's why always turn
to Allah subhana T you feel it's
difficult you feel it's so much struggle
to be on the on the straight path turn
to Allah subhana wa tala alone ask Allah
sincerely ask him to save you from such
trouble and Allah subhana T is the most
merciful
thank you we're going to have to cover
this topic again in and add to it this
is thank you for helping us
out and I'd like to thank you for tuning
in I hope you got to benefit you heard
the sh be good do good be around good
company around good people and inshallah
good actions will follow submit to your
creator he knows best he's the one that
wants you to be in Jenna all right
Paradise don't sacrifice something that
is uh temporary for something that's
permanent Jenna is permanent we need to
get to paradise and you're going to get
there by pleasing your creator so until
next time we'll see you inshallah
assalam Alum peace be unto you