before we had will smith it was a jada
pickett is that his wife
yeah and we ride together we gotta go
together
bad marriage for life
i mean the pictures you're seeing is
like a lady leading salah
i mean it's kind of like what's wrong
don't you ever see those puzzles
what's wrong with this picture and
you're like everything in order
to be considered a strong woman for a
while if you guys remember when the
coronavirus first came out
100 24 7 all the footage on television
was about coronavirus
then the protests came literally it went
from 100 to zero
this but sometimes it's not the popular
thing to talk about
the trending thing to talk about
sometimes it might seem for some people
uh controversial once you open this door
and we're not using quran
and sunnah as evidence anymore then the
floodgates get completely open you can
make up anything you like it's like if
somebody had a gun to your head
and the person is going to kill you say
well what can i do are you going to just
stand
how you been how's everything with you
good good good
staying alive and staying surviving
through the cope at 1900
has blessed us with another day so just
doing work how are you handling this
this whole pandemic i mean pandemic
sorry
uh yeah you know we called pandemic
because we had our plan
there you go allah is the best of
planners yeah you know
it's almost been a blessing in disguise
uh a lot of people thought
okay we're stuck at home it can be very
very difficult subhanallah a lot of
people i talked to
it was their best ramadan they've had
because of the ability of not being
distracted with the typical things that
come up during ramadan
um it's it's a it's a lot of good that's
come out of it as well i know
there's obviously people sick um but
there's some good that has come out of
as well
yeah what do you i mean in every
situation the believers should look
for the wisdom behind the trials and
tribulations that we're going to
a hundred percent yes you know it's one
of the things that
when people go through trials and
tribulations our remembrance of allah
becomes more right so because we're
going through
we're dealing with something that you
can't see sounds familiar and uh
we are going through a difficult trial
uh we
remember allah even more because we
understand how much more we need him
for the smallest thing our eyes can't
even see can affect our impact of our
life
and we realize that as strong as we
think as human beings are with all our
technology with everything we have
the smallest little thing could change
the entire world and allah controls
everything
so it's a good remember it's a good
reminder on the law
also how do you i i made a video not too
long ago
just talking about critical thinking and
how do you observe critical thinking
when you're trying to
you know just get informed so you can
make the right decisions
how do you go about doing your critical
thinking and analyzing and coming to you
know some
middleweight uh conclusion from things
so you can get make it be more informed
and make a better decision
that's actually a very good question and
i think that's one question a lot of us
have to ask ourselves not just muslims
but not muslims as well
is that like how do we see how do we see
things you know
it's one thing to just take information
from anybody even the
the science of hadith the way they were
gathered they didn't just go to bukhari
or muslim they didn't just randomly go
to anyone say hey
tell us what you heard okay let's just
write that down and now this becomes
awesome hadith
it was you you you see your credible
sources
you talk to different people you verify
some hadith you know
a daif hadith can be like one person who
no one really knew very well
said he saw something compared to
something that many sahaba said
they can confirm they've seen with
multiple sources including
maybe sahabas didn't even know each
other right so that's how you can tell
someone is
verify if it's strong or versus
something's weak
today unfortunately we just listen to
whatever channel
that comforts us or what i call comfort
food and they just tell us already the
opinion that we already like
and then we just take it like we're
bringing spoon-fed our opinions
and very few people actually think they
use they lack
that reasoning part of our brain that
we've
we should be having these days
unfortunately we don't have that
so what i suggest for people to do is
don't just look at one source
look at multiple sources and see what
that the job of the media is not just to
um sometimes it's to inform but
sometimes they have their own agenda
you know they have their own backing
whoever's funding it commercials
whatever it is to keep the people
sometimes
misinformed because it serves their
agenda i mean look at us
we bad guys in all these media
applications and now suddenly no one's
talking about us anymore
isn't but isn't that interesting like
there's always a terrorist on the block
some people some people have equated
this
as the new terrorists because you know
something to scare you
something to scare you in you don't know
anything about muslims we'll scare you
with them do anything about the virus
we'll scare you with them and uh because
people don't do their own research
and they don't like read they don't like
study
uh you can tell them anything you want
to tell them and this is why you have
such a
vast difference of opinion uh of
different things and just you have
people fighting over their opinions
and both people could be fighting could
be wrong they don't know they're just so
prideful of whatever they believe
they don't even sit down two seconds to
do some research and say what is this
that i believe do i have evidence to
have any proof instead of just
believing just because the next person
believes in it and this is our deen
tells us
to think you know we don't just believe
whatever our parents have believed and
their
parents have believed islam has taught
us to think don't just
worship what your parents have worshiped
use your brain
and you'll see very clearly that islam
is the truth that allah is
the haqq is the truth and it's it's
so we have to think we can't stop
thinking when it comes to information
news
even our deen so that's beautiful
because uh god almighty allah the
creator tells us in the in the quran
to go check things up if a faucet comes
to you to go verify check it up he tells
us that i talked about this in my videos
saying not to be
overly emotionally invested in let's say
fox news
or cnn or mpr i talk about taking a
middle approach okay maybe if you're
the best i was saying is to just leave
all the mainstream media alone because
they can give you a heart attack man you
can get sick
just from watching all the mainstream
media and it just gets you fear and
there's doctors many who talk about this
suppressing the immune system
but i talk about you know like say
someone like you someone like me someone
people who have to be informed they want
to have to talk about on certain issues
so i talk about
you know let's say if you listen to to a
little bit about
this channel or this uh
news station but then some independent
news sources wouldn't be bad go outside
the box because the mainstream media
they have their masters who are also
pushing an agenda
but most importantly at the same time
also be making that dua where
the prophet last the final messenger
sent to mankind he said help me to see
truth is truth and be able to follow it
and to see falsehood as falsehood and be
able to avoid it so i think that's kind
of a balanced approach what do you think
i agree 100 you know we have to like
look at all these independent
media that don't have as much backing
with one political party over another
the reality is that we do have political
parties are
basically backing each of these major
channels and they have their own agenda
their own politics and the stuff they
want to make sure you believe in
and we can't just believe just because
someone tells us to believe you have to
use our brains like allah subhana gave
us these brains to think
yeah so we have to think with them do
you think some are piggybacking off of
this
for their own agenda and this has been
politicized you have some politics going
on here and people are taking advantage
of the situation
yeah i think so i think people have
they're definitely benefiting from this
you know anytime you keep the people
ignorant uh
you can definitely benefit from them
people obviously are
preoccupied here when you let me give
you an example when i
take the camera i can point the camera
this way put the camera this way point
the camera this way point the camera
this way
and 100 of our attention goes one way or
for a while if you guys remember when
the coronavirus first came out
100 24 7 all the footage on television
was about coronavirus
then the protests came literally it went
from 100 to zero
every single challenge talking about
protests and looting and this and that
no one's talking about the chronic virus
to the point that people became so
comfortable they assume the virus is
over
then they go back to 100 back to
chronovirus again tomorrow would be
about oh
something happened and they won't talk
about the current virus they'll talk
about
plants something to do with plants and
next week could be something to do with
meat or something to do with the sky
and everyone's like they don't sit down
wait a second wait a second
maybe the camera's keeping me busy while
they're keeping busy all this other
stuff's handling under
un right under our noses and we like
when all this chronic virus is happening
when all these different issues are
happening
what's going on in the world has do you
watch any news channel
do you think the situation of syria is
resolved the issue of saudi and yemen is
resolved do you see the issue of all
these different things
no no one has any idea because 100
of our attention is like this it's like
very narrow-minded thinking
and that's dangerous it's that's really
keeping us misinformed
so that's that's we really have to take
the extra step and like
and keep ourselves in the loop yeah no
it's upon law it's
it's this scary time we're living in and
not have this i mean sometimes people
have this defeatist mentality like what
i can't
e either way so they keep their head in
the sand it's like what can i do you
know what i mean
and do your best you can because allah
subhan is going to hold you accountable
based on what you can do and allah knows
what we can and can't do
but alhamdulillah we do have this tool
of the internet you know there's a lot
of information out there it just takes
some effort to kind of like go through
it
and you'll see sometimes consistencies
with some of these independent
uh new news channels and news stations
and that will give you some
information that sometimes you get
surprised about so
at least that you don't submit with your
heart and mind at least that you're
aware and
it's like if somebody had a gun to your
head and
the person is going to kill you and say
well what can i do are you going to just
stand stand there and take the gun
take the gun and put it say no no dude
shoot me over here i mean no i mean you
can still you know
they say that only takes about 13 of
people who are passionate who have this
vigor you know this
energy who are on the truth to go ahead
and make a huge difference
so people can still you know hate any
evil they see in their heart and they
can still speak up and
try to make a change and i think some
muslims also i mean it's just speaking
in general but
some muslims are are just happy that the
news media's the mainstream media is not
now bullying uh terrorizing uh them
islam because they're so out of they
find a bigger stink this sounds so scary
because chrono buyers sound so scary to
people let's just scare them with that
for a while because we are scared with
muslim stuff
so find something new to scare them with
and then the protests sound pretty scary
people chanting and screaming that
sounds pretty scary so
show some pictures some looting he'll
scare them even more just keep them
scared because as long as you're scared
you're going to tune in if everything's
good and you're on the news
welcome we'll have a beautiful day today
everything's going great who's going to
watch the news
if you're scared you'll watch and if you
watch advertisers will pay and
advertisers will pay
because you'll buy their products etc
etc the cycle continues
so it's like you have to really really
take a step back and kind of think and
say okay what is really going on
is the media's agenda is their job
only here to inform or do they have like
alternative motives possibly alternative
motives that they want you to
do this or think this or buy this
i think it's very naive to assume that
they're just here with the best of
intentions
and all they do is want to make sure you
get the right information that's just
very naive to think
that's very naive they have masters
themselves if you want to call it that
yeah you know one thing i advise people
to do even just we mentioned those
examples
of cnn and fox for those who are in the
united states
today is like a normal day right
go to fox and then go to cnn and notice
that if you're reading the news
it's like there's two different worlds
one is just covering this news
and one is covering this news so for
example like msnbc
will only tell you the stuff that trump
did wrong today
and fox will tell you only the stuff
that trump did good today
neither of them will ever mention the
opposite so you think to yourself is
this a coincidence
or do they each have their own objection
or their own opinion that they want you
to have about the president
so that's interesting like okay are they
really here to inform me or they just
want to make sure i think a certain way
and when we start
thinking for ourselves it makes our head
minds open
and islamic is the same thing you talk
to one person who come in their islamic
views about certain things
and if you're not thinking then you just
follow the next sheikh who has a
completely different view than the
previous yaki followed in the previous
the previous chat from there
this is why you have muslims that are
like off the rails
with these weird stuff that they're
doing that's nothing to do with islam
but they call themselves muslims
that takes me that takes me to my next
question talking about if you're just
like a sheep you're following you're not
well grounded
with the right information especially
when we talk about islam if you're not
grounded in the verbatim word of god
almighty allah the quran which is a
living miracle
to this day test it if you want to make
sure that it is is there for all
then you have the example the last final
message of the prophet muhammad peace
and blessing be upon him
his sunna his way it's there you have
his companions
everything is there but now some people
i'm going to show a picture right here
and you talk about people doing stuff
you know kind of outside
of the uh quran and sunnah and
and what do you think right now they're
seeing a picture of who's this leading
the salat
and then you have just people lined up
here what are we seeing here you've seen
there's this picture now can you uh
go ahead and what does this fit in i
don't see the exact picture but i think
i know which picture you're talking
about
okay but you're seeing the picture i
don't see it on my screen but i'm
assuming it's a picture with the
is it the ladies leading the solo yes so
it goes into what you're saying it goes
into what you're saying we're seeing
thing
nowadays in the past people were
debating certain
topics now a generation gap just
passes and now we got all these issues
and certain certain
some people complain about you got
certain people talking out there but it
seems like they're talking to themselves
they're not really hitting home
with what the climate is on the ground
you know the real issues that we're
dealing with
i mean even if you look at today we have
topics that are
entering the muslim uh
talking points that was never discussed
not that they were never discussed
because oh the muslims forgot about them
is because they weren't even debatable
it's kind of like we discussing one day
is do we need to even pray that's a
discussion we don't even discuss no
scholars have these talks about
if salah is important or do we need to
even praise the law it's or do we need
to really believe in one god
it's like it's not debatable so these
issues that we felt that even
10 years ago 10 years ago not debatable
are now just like okay let's talk about
maybe we're what what do you mean maybe
i mean the pictures you're seeing
is like a lady leading salah i mean it's
kind of like
what's wrong don't you ever see those
puzzles what's wrong with this picture
and you're like everything well the
ladies that's weird where does this come
from
i'm not saying that men are better than
women or women better than men but we
have rules that we follow
based on what allah has told us not what
we came up with not a sign a bunch of
guys came up with okay this is a
religion for everybody
then comes the other aspect the men and
women next to each other again where
these
word where do you come up with these
rules that this is how we pray
then you have all these people and just
weird there's a girl right there in the
middle row
it's like an older lady with white hair
wearing uh short shorts
like boxers what she probably thinks she
went to like a church event she doesn't
probably know this is muslims
and then you have people with hijab no
hijab guys just random whatever
some some people look in the opposite
direction it's like
it's like what is this this is the
weirdest stuff
like but we are laughing right now at
how strange this is
but maybe one day five years ten years
from the future this could be the norm
and that sounds pretty scary we have
topics like homosexuality
is it okay now now i mean
1400 years till today the quran hasn't
changed the hadith hasn't changed
it's just people are changing and
they're pickpoc
picking what parts of islam that they
like and they're modifying the parts
they don't like
and they're tweaking this way until you
look at islamic this is not the same
islam that i
accepted when i became muslim eddie i
know you're a convert as well you
were given islam in a specific way just
not what you accepted
and you notice a lot of these people who
are doing this stuff it's kind of like
where is your evidence where is your
proof i mean okay fine
i know this quote unquote difference of
opinion when it comes okay my hands are
here for so long my hands are here for
sallah even some people
maliki's they have their hands to the
side for salah there's evidence
if you want to say this is the way that
islamically we should be doing things
provide your evidence
you can otherwise you're just making up
a religion you do whatever you want but
don't call it islam because that's not
what it is
right so it unfortunately it's a lot of
emotions involved as you said
people are not really thinking they're
just doing so well it makes me feel good
it makes me feel good when i think about
it god is about love
and allah wants me to be happy so i want
to be happy
what where'd you come up with this stuff
so
once you by the way once you open this
door and we're not using quran
and sunnah as evidence anymore then the
floodgates get completely open you can
make up anything you like
i can start saying stuff like what's the
point of wearing hijab
if allah can see right through it uh
what's the point of praying towards
mecca
when uh allah is everywhere what's the
point
i could just keep what's the point of
wiping over my feet or my socks or
my shoes if my bottom my feet don't get
wet
i can you can just start using all the
logic that you want
and start making up all the nonsense
that you want until you have something
completely
that's nice to do with this song but
what we fail to realize is allah subhan
tala
knowledge you take a pen you put into
the ocean you take it out
that is human being's knowledge the rest
of that if you made it all into ink
for all the oceans were ink and all the
trees that the hadith tells us
were like the paper you still couldn't
write allah's
knowledge so we with a little bit of
knowledge
we think we know more and this is a
problem this is where we fall into that
trap
and this is where we start going astray
when we think we know more than allah
and when we look at the story of
shaitaan and we look at it and we're
like
what was he thinking you were the one
that shaytan iblis
at that time was constantly worshiping
allah had the knowledge of allah
is literally communicating with allah
why would he just accept his fate of
just going to jahannam why just ask
allah
for forgiveness you know he's most
forgiving no i know more than you do
i know better than you do i want to go
to jahannam because i know better than
you do
and you think that's how how dumb of can
you be well look at our situation now
human beings will say i know more than
allah does and i want to go to jahannam
for it
that to me i just is mind-boggling just
like when i first heard the story of
iblis was mind-boggling to me
and now we see the human being version
of it where people just
want to do their own version of islam
allah will judge all of us including me
and uh so we have to be very careful
with our decisions we get these slogans
out there
it's uh burger king have it your way and
people are used to changing you know we
we know a lot of the man-made religions
uh they're man mates you can modify you
change just to get the
people into the doors you got a rock
band you got all sorts of things going
on you got a party a disco
but you know it's fascinating when you
look at islam is based on proof
and evidence this is what fascinated me
and we know the
all the things that are in there that
there's no way if somebody was to take a
analytical scientific approach he wasn't
disingenuous he was
generally seeking the truth and he's
humbling asking the creator he'll find
like you did and so many people myself
that this is indeed from the creator of
heavens and earth now and then when you
study the life of
prophet muhammad peace and blessing be
upon him one thing that connects with
this is if you study
when the revelation first came down and
then i believe it was like
eight 19 some odd attempts assassination
attempts on his life and the message
still keeps going and going and going at
any time it could have disrupted the
book disrupted the message
but it comes all the way towards the end
and then it's complete
whereas the ayah comes down and says
this day have i put god almighty is
speaking to the quran
so can you imagine baba ali all this is
happening
all of the things from the beginning and
at any time he can be assassinated
killed but
that's not part of the plan allah wants
it to be complete the quran so then
the reverse is revealed this day ever
perfected your deen your way of life
have completed my favor upon you and
have chosen for you
submission and surrender to the creator
of heaven or that's islam so this is
is perfect isn't that amazing i mean
just if you if it's deep like
it could have just been interrupted it
could have just been like
quartered away half the way but now it's
it's done and i believe it was imam
malik was it
uh may allah be pleased with him i think
it was him he was talking about like
what wasn't
a part of the dean at that time is not
part of the dean today have you heard
that statement one of the great scholars
so do you what do you think is called
it's amazing
what do you think is causing this now
because it's pretty clear it's
straightforward you have
you know the the muslims who continue
this and that's why we have
you know the science of hadith we have
the knowledge i mean of
that's been passed down if anybody looks
into it yeah there's
there's different opinions some that you
have mentioned there but now
these kind of big things that are being
these things that are being debated is
like
it's like you mentioned a great example
prayer being debated is god this is like
out of the it's crazy it doesn't make
sense
what are you talking about this is
actually happening
i know but this was like i never
remember when i first became muslim i've
been muslim
since i was 20. these were never never
came up let me tell you what we just
discussed for those who are younger
generation our topics when it came to q
and a's were like
musical instruments maybe smoking
cigarettes and
that's like as far as it goes and that
was like always a boyfriend girlfriend
if that's allowed islamically
these were the topics now it's like
that's nothing
compared to the stuff we're doing right
now so upon allah is like there's like
baby stuff compared to the stuff that's
going on right now
and these we are so much more dangerous
than worrying about
instruments we have so much more bigger
issues that are like
like really hitting that feeder our
foundation of our deen is mixed up
people are confused i mean tomorrow
don't be surprised if
one day we're worshiping this and the
next day we're worshiping something else
i mean you look at the signs of the day
of judgment and we know some of the
stuff we're talking about were actually
part of the signs that they judged me
where certain things would be
normal um where that when when the one
sign was like when you see people
foreign king right there in public
and like the best people say okay can
you just move it to the side and that's
like supposed to be like a really
religious person
i mean you think to yourself maybe 400
years ago you you read that like
how could a society be like that and now
you're like as we're getting more and
more closer to the day of judgement i
realize
we can see ourselves maybe in my
generation seeing stuff like that
i mean right now with our little
computer that we're talking through
the same two people watch naked people
doing whatever they do
this was unheard of 30 years ago 20
years ago
and now it's becoming a norm so that
what we have access to and what we see
i mean it changes people's thinking
changes people's mentality
i mean the brother who gave a
homosexuality
he was confronted not by a person who is
gay but by a person who
is straight he says brother you can't
say this haram
the khatib told me he's like this is
becoming a norm i get a lot of heat from
this
you can't even say it's haram it's
it's kind of like um you not only
have to accept it but you have to be
like pushing it and saying is halal and
this and that
the act itself you know even non-muslims
who
are may not agree with it they may not
like to act but they're not pushing upon
other people it's a weird thing that
muslims are
are so distant from their own deen that
we're constantly willing to compromise
just to try to appeal
to non-muslims look how flexible islam
is
but you don't need to defend islam allah
protects islam
so you it's it's just a beauty of islam
that
that brought a lot of people including
myself to islam you guys think it's
the rigidness and strictness
unfortunately people who are even born
to this religion they look at
why is there so many rigidness and
strictness but that's not islam either
the more religious you become is any
more rigid you become it just means that
we have boundaries there's rules that
you have
when you go to your job you have rules
there are certain things you can't say
to your boss
there are certain things you can't do at
work in fact with the opposite gender
you can't say certain things you're
going to look a certain way to that
person otherwise it'd be harassment
so why does everyone go crazy when we
tell them okay within the islam
when you're dealing with the opposite
agenda there's rules that you follow
right why does that hr representative
have to be there at work for you to
follow a rule
but in our religion we said look there's
and this out of respect
for each other out of kindness for each
other you know this is some things that
people don't think about again we're
going back to the news thing again
people don't think they just get
opinions people are not told things
about islam they just take opinions
so whatever i tell you tomorrow this is
halal now okay
that's wrong now okay that's that's
really really dangerous for us muslims
to be going that way we really have to
look
we can't just if someone tells you
something we can't just jump
into it and just start doing something
go do your research the same way eddie
you're saying go to your research
when you go look at these other sources
don't just randomly do stuff because
other people are saying it
we have to look at our dean the same way
we have to look at our sources
and then follow it this
do you think some of these things are
set up and these things are
systematically
put in place to disrupt to try to
destroy with
islam from within is there a possibility
of that what do you think
i mean a lot of those best but that
could quite be a possibility you know
there's a lot of stuff the more you take
these people away from their dean
and the more they become more
wishy-washy and then you can see like
this
picture that you just showed and you see
like wow what
what some people are like when you show
them that picture be like what
what's going on here is this fake well
i'll be like
we'll watch and say what's the big deal
and that's scary how we have this much
contrast
where you become desensitized what's the
big deal and you see another picture
another picture another thing another
thing
i have seen see one thing about baba ali
me being bob ali i've
been able to handle up being able to
travel the world i've been able to do
some
things many muslims don't get fortunate
enough to do so i can tell you that
experience being able to travel
seeing all these different muslim
communities seeing all speaking to all
these sheikhs
and dealing with so many muslims from
all these different continents
and sometimes i hear stuff from muslims
firsthand
stuff they've experienced stuff that
they've seen muslims do
that i have yet to see from non-muslims
i mean when you guys are talking about
it is beyond that
it's like what stuff that shocks me
i was sitting with the sheikh one time
we were traveling i was doing an event
and
the brother was going to be doing a talk
and he said ali
i as a person who takes q a from people
in the muslim community
i've heard everything literally there's
nothing you can do to shock me
and i'm like what like what's the last
thing
that was crazy for you and he told me
that i don't want to repeat it
because it sounds too crazy and i was
like
i as a when i was non-muslim and i was
growing up i never even knew that
this would even be i never knew anyone
that did this level of haram before
not muslims that don't have haram i
never
knew anyone that knew that anyone that
would that did this kind of stuff
but it's like oh yeah this is just
latest thing question after okay for me
the most
most people are doing like what like
it's it's so bad like when the sheikh
has asked what is that
like i don't know what that is there was
a
yeah it's just crazy stuff so far but i
just i've seen so much
bad stuff so upon law as dealing with
muslims here so much bad stuff
that i always worry i'm worried about
what's going to happen with oma
i'm going to keep going down this path
and i'm worried that
how we quickly change opinions how we go
away from our deans so easily
have you have you seen on some of these
applications where now you have the
um his her sir
what do you think's causing this i mean
what um from a psychological
aspect people who are saying that okay
they're not even
male female i'm uh some people i've
heard even saying that they're a cat
a dog and you're actually getting impa
have you heard of this also
i see i see somebody online post that
i should they're getting tired that
they're calling people are calling their
dogs male or females
yeah and they should they're transgender
dogs
and all these other stuff that may be
you know like what if my dog is
transgender what if my dog is gay
what if my dog is this what even that
conversation is happening
look here when i say we lo we're lacking
common sense
it's like okay when you're five years
old i want everyone who's listening to
remember the time when you're five years
old what was on your mind when you're
five
you're playing with toys and this and
that if anyone said anything about
liking the office is generally like yes
even i remember when i was like eight
nine years old and boys
you wouldn't even go run to the girls
bathroom as soon as you're running and
the girls run to the bathroom like ew
girls ew until you hit like the hormonal
age you start having feelings of the
opposite gender
now there are people who tell you oh i
was five years old i was like i knew i
was
attracted to opposite gender you're five
what even straight people are not up
attracted to the opposite
when you're four or five years old you
don't know what's going on you barely
have a vocabulary what are you talking
about
and but people sit there and like yeah
yeah that makes sense
that what do you mean make sense this is
not the nature of the human being
it's just like we just keep absorbing
and just take stuff and we don't really
use our brain to like maybe that doesn't
make sense for a second
no we just take it in and that's
dangerous you really have to think
if it matters about why islamically
people are telling you matters what the
news people are telling you
imagine in general allah gave us a main
brain to think he gave us these examples
in the quran to make us think to make us
ponder for the people who think
not just to blindly follow so it's
unfortunate we don't have that
too much these days do you think now
people because there's
that void there's not that ultimate it's
people when you ask them what's the
purpose of life and people think
okay to be happy is to find a
someone i love to love you know these
subjective uh
ideas everyone has their individual
opinion but nobody really gets down to
the to
searching or asking for really what's
the true purpose of the human being so
when you don't
live on that true purpose now you're
just kind of following and god almighty
allah tells us in the quran have you
seen the one who has taken his or her
own
desires as a god so now you just start
making up your own way you start
you know having it your way like burger
king like a buffet and
and everything goes everything goes and
do you think that's for the lack of
someone having
that because we are creatures of
imitation we're imitating and we think
that
now if i do this maybe i climb a little
bit higher i experiment with this
this might be the happiness i was
looking for so you just start
experimenting with
everything you put it here you put it
there you put it everywhere and at the
end it's just
uh misguidance you think yes
what's the route if we go to the root if
we go not symptom management
but if we go to the to the root of the
problem yeah it's it's
you can worship we have the instinct of
worship every human being does
now some people worship a rock as we've
seen 1400 years ago even unfortunately
today you still still see that
you were you used to worship you were
you were part of or were you part of or
you came i was one of those people when
i was growing up i didn't have any type
of religion so eventually
because i had no religion no guidance
and uh i
start finding superstitious things to
follow i followed rocks
worshiping idols and you think people
this doesn't happen it still happens
today
now i may have worshiped physical idols
but today people worship american idols
or you worship this some people as jesus
says they worship their own desires they
end up worshiping themselves
they worship sometimes people will even
do if you watch things on television
they act
like when they're doing this they're
worshiping
they and there's no shame in it it's
okay to worship
whatever you want to worship and this is
what we've come back to the strange
times we live in
where people don't think about what
you're actually saying
you know if it's a game that tells you
hey bow down and prostrate
and worship this thing kids will do it
because other kids are doing it
and because it's cool it is social media
influencer
is now worshipping xyz suddenly other
influencers are still interested in so
let me go look into it
some of them may move over because the
person who's influencing me
has influenced me to worship whatever
they worship
it's we live in that world and why are
these influencers so strong
why are the people in the media so
strong why is the
uh the television stations or the games
so strong
is because your when your brain stops
thinking you stop using your mind
anyone can tell you anything and you
start listening to it and they'll say
stuff like
what as long as it makes you happy okay
who came up with that rule
as long as it makes you happy if that
count if allah gave you that rule you
understood
but where does that rule come from it
came from some other guy
so you're worshiping what he said so
he's your god and he's made all these
decisions
for what you should do and we should not
do as long as you don't hurt anybody
it's okay okay sounds like a fair rule
as long as it makes you happy
it's okay but then you have all these
other questions okay what if something
makes me happy
does it make somebody else happy uh
they don't have an answer for that what
if i did this they don't have an answer
for that because
this religion they're making up is just
made up it's just nonsense and then
today judgment you can make whatever
religion you want
it does it's not going to make the
reality different the day judgment is
coming
the haqq will come on the day of
judgment and allah will judge you based
on what he gave you
what you had access to in your brain of
the decisions you made
you can believe in all you can believe
the sky is going to be doing all these
good things for you doesn't mean it's
going to happen
and that people will be going and asking
for jesus to give him stuff jesus i
didn't tell you to worship me
oh you want to worship the sun so it's
not going to help you you want to
worship this they're not going to help
you
all those rappers and hip-hop people you
worship and you're imitated
they're not going to help you everyone's
everyone's thinking about themselves
and now everyone's like okay i thought
where's my reward there's no reward
it's the only word that comes from allah
so you can say whatever you want you
guys can pick and buffet style your
islam as much as you like
but that does not change the religion
you're just changing it for yourself
one thing you know one i just mentioned
one last thing is like you know when
we're in salah lines
and we leave this allah line there's a
gap and the next person behind you
without anyone saying a word will fill
in that gap
and the person behind him will fill in
that gap and film the i can't fill that
gap
you want to leave the religion of islam
you want to make up your own
nonsense and just go to your own way go
ahead but that gap will be filled and
allah will replace if we don't love
allah allah replaces with someone
or a group of people that love him more
than us or follow him better than us
and that's something scary to be
thinking about i want to get your
feedback on this there was some brothers
having a conversation i mean we've been
hearing a lot about this but
sometimes it's not the popular thing to
talk about the trending thing to talk
about
sometimes it might seem for some people
uh controversial so it's the things that
are talked
about in the closet for instance you
know uh
and now they talk about the but you have
you have a lot of non muslims not yet
muslims talking about these subjects
it's interesting the emasculating of the
man
uh you you have you know where men are
no longer men you know
we have uh we have almost
well you have every tv show they talk
about the man's the idiot you know
every islamic talk from every speaker
the problem is the man and what
are what they're doing wrong and et
cetera et cetera so uh
and some of the brothers complained that
you never hear
any sheikh talking about what the
sisters are doing wrong i mean obviously
islam elevates the woman to such a great
level you need to be kind respectful
patient
with your wives you need to treat women
honorably of course but has it gotten to
an extent now
that we're overlooking because just like
men can oppress
are we looking at the same time women
can be oppressors also
you had the woman who oppressed yusuf
alaihissalam
and you had his brothers and sometimes
because uh women tend to cry more
but yusuf's brothers they actually threw
him in the well and they try to kill him
and they were crying right uh so
what do you have to say about this i i
actually personally have seen that many
times
i've actually approached chef more than
once
asking them why they limit their
conversations to certain things
i i ask because this is see one thing i
do for those who may or may not know i
do i done
a lot of comedy through my life i like
doing stamp performances and my
my sense of humor and for those who are
familiar with my youtube videos
i was not a chef i'm do not come with
something revolution and no one's heard
it before
i used to say i remind people just in
case i forgot and what i used to do is i
usually just observe
observe stuff that's happening with the
muscle community observe stuff that's
happening within
our our thinking the ideas that we're
carrying and i would challenge those
things
so similar to what you're talking about
i would like these are things i've
observed as well i watch television
shows i see sitcoms
where the man is the idiot where the man
is the buffoon and the person is like
constantly ridiculed and he's no good
nothing etc etc
while the woman is honored i'm not
saying women should not be honored
but i don't think you should need to be
little one side to honor the other side
similarly when we have islamic talks
anytime
i can stand up and make like when i do
my comedy i will make
funny stuff that men do and funny stuff
that women do like for example i may
talk about like how men are stressed
they don't want to talk about it they
want to be they want to be like left by
themselves
they don't want to they don't feel
better just because let me cry it makes
me feel better
no sometimes they literally be by
themselves and it feels makes them feel
good
so i say like men if when they get
stressed they start wars and invade
countries
women when they get stressed they eat
chocolate and go shopping they're very
different than how we deal
with stress as soon as i say anything
that i even could come across as
negative there could be a line of
sisters waiting after after the event to
talk to me about why
i said it was very offensive were you
offended by any of the stuff i said
about the brothers
no but let me tell you about why i'm
offended about the sisters like i can
say a lion for example
how many women men and women bond
differently there's some truth in this
and that's why it makes it funny
i said men if you look at how they
sometimes interact they tease each other
not in a hurtful way but they tease each
other and
they tease each other like oh brother
look how much weight you're getting you
just got married what's going on
they'll say stuff like that but they
tease each other and they bond that way
they connect with that
wait wait wait and i'm not making
excuses for everything they do this this
is the nature of sometimes
with guys to guys relationship right and
i say but they don't really mean it
they tease each other but they don't
really mean it and then i flip the
script and say sisters you know what i'm
talking about
sometimes you compliment each other and
then you don't really mean it either
sometimes
and sisters some of them laugh and some
of them get very offended
how about sisters are you telling me
that every single time you've
complimented a girl you you
uh you've been admitted ask any sister
to really really think about that says
okay sometimes
i do that but the nature of the guy is i
will never go to eddie eddie i love your
shirt
i hate it we don't do it if i don't like
your shirt i won't say anything
i will not say i i love it it's so made
where'd you get it from i love it and
just go out of my way to compliment
the shirt when i don't even like it
whatsoever it's just not the nature of
the guys
similarly sisters will not meet another
sister and say oh look how big you're
getting because you got married
they don't tease each other either so
when you're doing things
you ha i'm doing a balance on both sides
we don't have the balance right now
we have men who have taken over the
woman's role the women have taken over
the men's role and we have
very much imbalance within our
communities we have things that um
men have become more feminine in their
nature
they have adopted more feminine roles
and
women have taken masculine roles and now
why this has happened
is a whole different discussion i don't
know how long this video is going to get
but i can give you a quick summary in my
opinion
i think a lot of men have oppressed
women
with when they had the authority and
when they had to power over them women
like a man who's in control but they
don't like a man who's controlling
so when many of these men who became
controlling women just got tired of it
they said where's our rights you've
taken you've not even given my islamic
rights
so i am going to take power back and not
only will i take power back i will take
power over this relationship and i'm
going to be making the final decisions
for now on
unfortunately that doesn't necessarily
mean that she's making the right
decision either
because now that she's taking over some
of his roles
her roles became vacant and he's taking
over her roles
so then they start adopting other traits
that wasn't really there before
she started taking these dominant
this femininity has left a lot of
sisters and this femininity has
passed over to a lot of brothers and
then you have this like masculine
qualities that passed over to sisters
and then a lot of sisters will complain
where are the where are the real
men what they're really trying to say
we're the masculine men
and the men will say where are the
feminine sisters and what they're really
trying to say we're the feminine sisters
and
unfortunately this is what one of the
problems that we have when it comes to
people finding each other for marriage
there's a lack of quote unquote good men
out there there's a lack of good sisters
out there
i'm not saying there's not a dean they
have the deen but what about the traits
that comes to the parts that we
naturally humanly
are attracted to each other that makes
us allah made us different
but they complement each other for those
things when you're lacking that
how do you expect in the opposition to
be attracted to you by the way because
we're saying this
eddie be prepared for a lot of comments
to come back to your way
how could you say that i'm not that way
we're not talking about your sister
specifically we're talking in general
so this is for that one sister out there
who feels like oh this doesn't apply to
me this alhamdulillah say alhamdulillah
but unfortunately this is a becoming
more of our trend and this is
affecting our communities and affecting
our marriages
there need to be more sisters actually
who
revive this who this femininity there's
actually
that's the thing i'm i'm surprised you
have a lot of not yet muslims when i say
not yet muslims because i always repeat
this that everyone has the potential to
submit to the creator heavens and earth
so i say not yet muslims
there is a woman called lisa britton
she writes that women are
told in order to be considered a strong
woman
we must reject our femininity and act
more like men
we're also taught to be aggressive and
put ourselves first at all times
she says i don't like this we must value
femininity
and womanhood that's the balance we need
so when you hear this this is like the
dean
this is like she's talking like she's
muslim what do you hear when you see
that
this is from a woman now muslims have
more of islamic
values that we muslim sometimes carries
upon allah says it's a good reminder
it's a good thank you for sharing that
because it's a good reflection for
ourselves
you know when we when we're lacking
these qualities
let me tell something for the sisters
who are listening let me just get off
track for one second
sisters if you knew how powerful
your femininity is over your husband
you'll be amazed on what you can get
with it
your way your he that's something that
no matter what he does he'll never have
he will never have and it's something
that attracts him
to you so using that feminist you can
get almost anything you want
now if you flip the script and try to be
masculine with them
that doesn't work you won't get what you
want in fact you will lose this
attraction from you
now i want you to reverse the same thing
and just imagine i said the exact same
thing to brothers
brothers being feminine with your wife
is not going to make her
more attracted to you it will be the
exact opposite
masculine qualities of things that are
associated with masculinity
is what she's attracted to in you
otherwise why is she married to a man
right so there's certain things that
you're naturally born with
forget what society says forget that
stuff
once by the way when you make these type
of statements people automatically
assume the opposite or
a sister may say oh you want me to be
feminine you want me to be weak
no that's not what femininity is or you
you want me a brother could say you want
me to masculine you want me to dominate
and take over and tell my wife what to
do
that's not what masculinity is either
you know it's just like the word control
and controlling
a good leader what does he do a good
leader like
he puts to people that he is leading
before himself
just because me allah may give you like
some times when people get married
example people come up to me and say um
i want to get married this and that this
and that
and i said okay let me ask you a
question when it comes to marriage
who will make the final decision and she
the girl and the guy was it we both will
understood and that's actually a very
good trait you both will
listen to each other and make a decision
together you don't just tell people what
to do
a loss but those situations where you
don't
always agree but we always agree i know
but let's say hypothetically
she wants to move or you don't want to
move who gets the final final final say
when you disagree
and this is where they've never
discussed these issues before
and now she says well i think i should
be making the final decision
i am the one that's going to lead you
will follow
and if the guy says okay i'll be the
follower and i've talked to a brother i
know brother who says i'm okay with
being a follower
i want my wife to lead i want my wife to
make all the decisions i have no problem
following
that same wife will tell her husband why
do you lack ambition
why don't you stand up i need you to
take the lead on certain things
why is all the responsibilities and all
the weight on
everything on my shoulders and you're
just like you just married a feminist
and
chill as they say oh that's not what
sisters want
now you can lie to yourself no sister's
looking forward i can't wait to get
married because i'll be handling
everything
i'll go to work i'll handle the bills
i'll have the expenses i'll do all the
shopping
i'll do this i will do the household
chores i'll do the work chores i'll
provide for the family in fact
when there's this noise outside i'll go
and check it my husband you stay under
the sheets and don't worry
i'll protect you that's not a woman's
dream of getting married
so the band has oh and by the way i'll
share all my
things with you all my wealth with you
so that's
that's why i work and you can keep your
wealth for yourself
and not this sounds crazy eddie i'm a
guy who helps people get married
for those who don't know um i have half
our deeds
completing yeah i get asked by sorry go
ahead eddie
no no i was saying from half our dean
that's that's yeah you're actually right
i'm not here to promote half party but
i'm just telling you that um
i help people get married and uh one of
the things is that when people
um look to get married this interesting
because
i can't tell you how many brothers
constantly are looking for sisters who
are quote-unquote
keywords they say independent who want
to be like
going out there and providing and doing
this and that
the stuff they're asking for on the list
is stuff you thought that was the male's
role like
he's gonna share he's gonna work and
share his wealth and he's gonna provide
and be the sole
responsible person for the house and if
she works she keeps the money for
herself
that's no longer the case in fact i was
i looked at a brother's
list just recently and he put the top
five things he's looking for her sister
and one of them was wealthy
my sister was wealthy could like provide
for me basically
i'm just what what happened to men
what happened to men i want a sister who
can protect me
protect you from what from from the
scary bug i see in the corner of the
house it's so scary
what are you kidding me you think this
is what sisters are looking forward to
for marriage it's a final i was like oh
it's like the robber comes in the house
and the guy hides behind you you go get
him
take her oh i i
i think i heard this from ibrahim if i
didn't
please excuse me but if i did i'd
like for the sheikh to actually
him himself to put it out there again
this wonderful story it's really deep if
you think about it
so i think the shake and i it still
stayed with me until this day i think i
heard this
years ago a woman came to see a sheikh
and she says she i'm having a lot of
problems with my husband
you know that the verge of divorce she
said please give me some advice
he said you want some advice she said
yes then you have to do this for me
he said go before i give you this advice
you have to go
pick three hairs from a lion
okay she said three hairs from a lion
and then i'll give you some advice that
will hopefully save your marriage
she said okay she really wanted to make
it work and then she went to the lion
and she went putting a lot obviously
this is not a true
story it's just an example it's a
metaphor right so
so no one's looking for this in bukhari
and muslim right okay
so then she goes and she goes to the to
the line i can imagine
she's a woman there's a lion how am i
going to go ahead and pluck the hairs
from a lion
so she goes very soft she goes very slow
very gentle and she starts petting the
lion she starts petting the lion
after she pets someone up she takes one
oh
he lie roars a little bit then again
she's just very soft
very soft and gentle feminine with him
and then she picks the second one
and all the way into the third what do
you think would happen if she started
debating fighting attacking the lion
that's another story that's another
story but she she ends up
taking those three hairs to the check
and she said
here you go shay now give me the answer
the solution to my murder problems
she goes you have it right there the way
you treated this lion he said treat your
husband
now again we have to make a disclaimer
usually i mean
we're not talking about some drunk bum
who's giving elbow
hooks and elbows you wwe with his wife
no but you get the point yes
do you do you understand he was you
treat a woman
so she feels like a woman you treat a
man so it feels like a man when i
raise my kids i i actually teach them
when you talk to mama say i love you she
it makes her feel amazing but when you
talk to me and you want to thank me
say i appreciate you i like to be loved
but appreciation
is more stronger for me than love and
this is strange
for girls because for them it's like oh
dude what's the feeling of
love love is amazing but men need to be
respected and appreciated and
if your husband feels like he's
appreciated
he'll do 10 times more than he's
currently doing right now see you soon
out of his way to make you happy you
said a word there now that this word is
just like synonymous with something bad
it's like
but you have experts like i don't know
if you've heard of the
the best-selling author she's helped
over 150
000 couples save their marriage she
wrote the book
the book empowered wife and she talks
about exactly what you're talking about
how men need this appreciation
disrespect but as soon as you say
respect
all hell breaks loose i don't need to
respect nobody
huh why i use the word appreciation so
it doesn't get
missed but you get but but she's she's
an expert she's a woman she's not even
muslim and she's helped so many and then
she talks about that's how you get
that rep reciprocation of love is when
you
when you and there's a book actually
written by some by also some
husband and wife they talk about the the
power of respect and love yeah
and how they go hand in hand together
what happens is like anytime you bring
up these topics
people automatically assume the worst
they assume that oh
because you're saying respect the
husband you're saying don't respect the
wife
no we never said that we said love your
wife number one priority for her is to
feel loved
number two is to feel respected and
appreciate it so
just because you're loving her doesn't
mean you don't respect her
but understand what her priority is on
our priority list if she had a top ten
list of
different feelings she can feel right
and similarly for the men
they need to feel appreciated they
really do if you don't appreciate him
you don't feel respect them
you don't you don't even listen to any
of his decisions
that takes the toll on him you want him
to step up and be
a man make him feel like a man you want
your wife to be
feminine make her feel like a woman
don't be aggressive with her
see men unfortunately like we were
growing up this is a whole men women
discussion
so we kind of like went off the subject
but i'll say it really quickly like men
oftentimes we kind of like um we
been around brothers the whole time so
our joking around with brothers
and our way we communicate where people
were close with
the same teasing thing in the that we
did they bring it to their wives
and they're constantly teasing them
about their weight or teasing them
about some of their insecurities or
teasing them about whatever the thing is
that should be happening
that's like crashing her self-esteem
yeah exactly if you know
she's concerned about certain things
about jealousy you don't keep bring up
second wife jokes
it's not funny for her if you know she's
insecure about her weight then she's
trying to lose weight you don't talk
about how fat
she's becoming it doesn't make her feel
better you know so you have to be
you don't bring it up as a joke if
you're making if you're making uh uh
this the
extending the family then you gotta
because it got to be brought up it's
gotta it's somehow it's gotta be brought
up
exactly so i don't like sometimes the
guys don't really realize that she's a
woman
treat her like a woman treat her like
with respect as in a way things that
things are funny to her different what's
funny for your friends and vice versa
so you can't treat her like a brother it
doesn't mean like disrespect her but
treat her the way she likes to be
treated and vice versa for sisters
you can't treat your husband like one of
the girls no
he's your husband he's a man if you want
to feel like a man and step up as a man
you have to
make him treat him like a man so i know
all the stuff we're discussing we're
saying oh
sisters may be listening say okay i know
okay this is perfect in a perfect world
but the real men are not out there well
the reality is that
there's a lot of there's a lack of good
brothers out there that you can give the
keys to the car and say hey
you're gonna be making the final
decision and i'm 100 behind you sisters
there is a lack of people out there but
when you do find that brother
and you do find the brother who fears
allah
you can't just take the keys out of his
hands you have to put some trust in him
because at the very end there's stuff
you will not be asked about
because you were not held responsible
for and he's held responsible
so yes he may have that final decision
in the final power but that's an
accountability that you don't have
it's one less thing you don't have to
worry about in the day judgment that's
on the weight on his shoulders
so it's something that he has to answer
to just like this a person who has
more wealth than you do they have to
answer for that money that you don't
have
so it's not necessarily a blessing it's
just a different test in a different
trial
yeah you mentioned you mentioned some
before you mentioned you gave a great
example about two rams
on the mountain you remember this
example you gave before
you know that one is going to knock one
knock one over
so you you have one leader in the house
it doesn't mean he's a dictator it
doesn't mean that that person is because
this is a direct result i think what do
you think because you're
you're a semi expert in this area maybe
an expert why is that because you you've
been dealing
their understanding is the same and
they're on the same wavelength and
it makes life will be so much easier
marriage will be so much easier
but if you're if you're like this the
whole time all you're going to be doing
is fighting
and the reason person is trying to get
to the top and it's not a battle
yeah it's a partnership the reason i say
that is because
you've actually been dealing with the
marriage thing you run half our dean
so you kind of you you see what's going
on on the ground
and you see the high level divorce you
see you actually i think you said it was
like
one to eight nine or ten women who
outnumber the men in marriage you talk
about that there's a lot of stuff
that on half ardene like recently i've
been noticing a lot more sisters are
signing up
than brothers and uh it's not
it's just even like i know brother's
gonna be in the four
oh brother just marry four wise even if
every guy married four
wives there'll be a lot of sisters that
wouldn't be married even
with that there's just a lack of good
brothers out there
uh i mean eddie i ask you the question
like how many brothers
can you recommend and say i can highly
recommend this brother as a good husband
that's very difficult because if you
don't have i mean the firs i mean what's
your what's your criteria
is different you know a lot of people
yeah is it your criteria does he pray
does he could have good luck or maybe
he's a doctor engineer so there's a big
uh different measuring stick
i mean yes exactly so it's like there's
another challenge we have is a lot of
sisters
have a lot of more check boxes that men
need to have
in order for them to be even considered
for marriage like there's stuff that
brothers don't have as their check boxes
i know
like we can say men are superficial and
they are 100 superficial
but women are superficial sometimes in
their own way so men can be women can be
superficial if the guy
has not as far as beauty but it can be
virtuous it has a certain level of
success or wealth
they can be some sisters not all some
systems could be superficial just like
some men can be sufficient when it comes
to beauty in fact
most men are sufficient when it comes to
beauty but to be fair
men have a lot less check boxes that a
woman needs to have in order for
them to consider them for marriage even
though the
attractive beauty part is a huge check
box there's a bunch of mini check boxes
now for sisters their attractive
check box is not as big it is a check
box but they have a lot more checkboxes
um they have stuff that men most men not
all men but most men don't have like for
example
like um a man has to be a certain height
a man has to be a certain age it can't
be too younger than them
he can't she can't he can't be shorter
than her uh for a lot of sisters he has
to have
the equal level of degree equal or more
or it's very similar so a sister who may
be a surgeon
may not even consider brother who's a
mechanic even though he's a very
successful mechanic
it's it's not that i'm saying again all
sisters
there's a lot that do so it makes it
more difficult for sisters
of the number of candidates they would
even accept we're not even talking about
the dean part of it yet
so it's it's the more check boxes you
have
the more difficult it's going to be
because it's the selected few the
smaller pool of people you can choose
from and then you have to at least be
attracted to the guy
and then there's okay how is his
sincerity is he honest is he trustworthy
is how is his luck as you said his
behavior
those are things they're not going to
come across no matter what kind of
degree you have is not going to help or
your height
or your age that's not going to make you
a good behavior good
we make certain things more priority
than other things and some of it's
cultural
some of it is just we just made
ourselves our challenge more difficult i
i often tell people for a guy who's
helps people get married
i i said based on all the experience i
had for 10 years
10 years running this half hour dean
project i have
i say the biggest challenge i've seen so
far if i have to tell
over everything is that the biggest
challenge our muslims have is themselves
we are we make things more difficult
upon ourselves
we have unrealistic expectations almost
every single day i deal with somebody
who is very unrealistic on on half our
day
when they complain i joined your website
i think the sister on the 17th
of this month joined the website and she
wanted to quit on the 18th
of the website even though we have 2 000
something in
people on the website i i want to leave
i i couldn't find a husband to marry
in one day you're kidding we have
we have a sister who looked over 2500
profiles i don't like any of them
2 500 you didn't find one person that
you even interested to learn more about
nope not good enough none of these
people are good enough
you're kidding nope we have a sister by
the way these are just recent examples
i'm talking about in the last few days
another sister who says i went on the sh
she's been on the website for i don't
know how many months
i don't think she had found one person i
think maybe one or not one person
throughout the whole entire time that i
would even consider to even speak to for
a marriage as far as like talking to
them
and these are just examples like i'm
just coming across how many
the more there are that i don't come
across allah allah yeah well
we have a big issue with the muslim
community as far as these kind of things
uh do you think i mean this is on a
serious note
when you mention that before i get to my
question
i remember we were in florida together
and one of the imams there he came to me
and he said that he had sisters it was
so bad
that the sisters them trying to get
married they couldn't that they were
asking the shaykh hey
we got these non-muslims who are asking
us for marriage
is there any loophole anyway since we
can't get married can we marry them
he was sharing this with me yeah that's
a big thing that's happening these days
a lot of sisters are actually marrying
non-muslims and there's there's no nikah
there
there is there's no relationship that's
like becoming zinna because again we're
just
picking the parts of islam that we don't
like and just modifying it so it fits
our needs and i and sister can argue and
say well what am i supposed to do
i'm not here to tell you what the
solution is i'm just saying what there's
a rules that you can do
but it's kind of me as a comedian i can
go down stage and people weren't
laughing
so now i just say everything haram and
now they're laughing and someone says
dude why are you doing all this haram
stuff and cursing and doing sexual stuff
on stage
what am i supposed to do how am i
supposed to make people laugh
i can't use that as my escape card
escape ticket out
you can make people laugh just stay
within the boundaries of islam
you can find somebody just stay within
the boundaries of islam and just because
something doesn't seem to be working or
something seems to be challenging
remember these are tests from allah
and he tests all of us in different ways
and there's some wisdom in these tests
just like we talked to the very early
part of this talk we're talking about
the coronavirus being the challenge
for today and there's some maybe some
blessings in it one blessing you can see
yourself
for going through this hard challenge of
finding your other half
is that maybe if it was too easy you
would take it too lightly
and just head to divorce very quickly
but the very fact that it became so
challenging and so difficult
made you at least think twice before you
utter the word
divorce when you're having a dispute
with your wife or your husband because
you realize how hard it was
how many people you spoke to how many
websites you joined how many
conversations and friends and all these
things you had to do
until you found your spouse so you can
really drop it that quickly because
you're fighting over some petty issue
so that could be a blessing in disguise
i'm not saying that is allah knows best
but don't look at everything as just oh
why am i going through this
along those best just remember that
everything's a trial
this joint is temporary have you uh go
ahead finish your point
so i myself went through the six and
that was sorry that was my point i was
just
i don't want to jump to another thing
but i'll go ahead you were asked ask me
a question
so i brought i brought that up and then
that was leading into my next question
and have you considered i don't mean to
put you on a spot but
i know for some people to be
uncomfortable talking about this but
have you considered because there is the
alphabet movement
but you don't have to pee in there and
before because it's a real issue
again you were saying that can't just
solve everything miraculously but it is
one great solution if someone could come
up with something better
and people can bring all sorts of
arguments well people can't hold one
married people
but that's the world of scholars to come
in and educate to so if the small group
of people who were in the closet at one
time
now they came out and now you can't even
criticize
a lot of times or say anything because
you'll you'll
you'll be in a deep herd of trouble so
adding
now muslims to add something that's
halal the p into the letter movement and
then someone like you who already runs a
website have you ever considered if
if this gets uh legalized if it gets
moving you know towards that direction
for you someone who's got a lot of
experience with a matrimonial site to
actually have
uh to fill a niche in that area maybe in
the future
the challenge i have is that we i'm
having a hard time finding brothers who
would even
have i maybe eddie you or you have
different circular people
but the people i've come across they are
barely handling one
wife let alone two or three or four and
every single brother i know who has more
than one wife
it's it takes a certain type of person
certain kind type of character
certain kind of fear about allah to fear
to do it justly
you know it's kind of like when you have
one child and by the way i'm not
comparing women to child see if anyone
starts
going off going crazy i'm just giving an
analogy just analogy
but when anyone who has one child and
they know once they have a second child
there are certain things that happen
that that you have as a parent have
they didn't have before like for example
one child there's no jealousy
there's no sharing issues there's no
like attention issues
once you have a second person involved
in your uh
uh like two wives or three wives you
have a responsibility
that you have to treat all of them
fairly you have to do this this this
this
is brothers not even doing with one wife
unfortunately
so as far as a solution i might my i
have a bigger questions like where are
the men
we don't have the men for the first one
i'm thinking 10 to 1 ratio
from the from the guys now as far as men
who are married right now i think
it's it's how you're going to convince
them i think a lot of sisters are like
oh
men just can't wait to marry four wives
oh a lot of brothers i talk to they're
like
all the brothers i talk to when they're
one more one way they're all single
married guy's like oh my gosh
[Laughter]
do you think this is a direct result of
the influence of the culture with
hollywood bollywood
and some unrealistic pictures painted
in people thinking like this is the
standard where mary should be
that role of marriage is he or she they
got to make me happy and then
you know they think that this is a
destination you're going to get happy
and if you're not happy in marriage i
mean
that's something unattainable like a lot
of times
social media plays larger influence you
get you get what i'm saying
yeah a lot of people they look on social
media and now that's they're more
the kids today are not glued onto the
tvs like my childhood which we were just
watching tv a lot
my kids women watch television i mean i
can't remember the last time they
actually
sat down like changed the channel on
something i was actually observing i'm
like why don't you even have a tv for
no the only thing i use is a computer
for different stuff
for games for this and that but they use
it mostly a computer screen
their world is this they want to choose
where they go rather than
the television screen tell them what
they're going to listen to so they have
a path of different directions they want
to go to
so this generation the younger people
they're going to go to their influencer
and they go on social media and they're
just scrolling and scrolling and
scrolling
and every time they see a picture every
time they see this
they start getting this idea of what
marriage life is like we're at the beach
today
again and my husband gave me another
gift again
and this is the sunset again i'm getting
so bored of
my perfect life and if you're like wow
this
life is so amazing yeah i know isn't it
and the girls are like this and
everyone's like wow look and the next
girl's like this and look at how perfect
she looks
her skin is so perfect and her fingers
and her husband
look how every day he has a new ring for
her doesn't it and then she looks at her
husband
he's like this he's picking his nose and
like
why did i marry him when i can have him
i need to get a better husband
maybe i married the wrong person because
me and my husband argue they never argue
online
in fact he messages her i love you no i
love you
no really i love you even more i love
you more honey bunny but you're my honey
bunny they're talking to each other even
though they're staying in the same room
and they're like this is this fake world
that we made for them this is the fake
pictures and instagram and facetune and
all the other stuff they use photoshop
to make themselves
look like what they don't look like we
made this fake world and everyone's
trying to live
up to the jones and try to be something
that doesn't exist
and when they don't have it they want to
get divorced because they're chasing
something
and hopefully that the next person that
may be just like that but this is not
real
this isn't real it's just like you
divorcing your husband or your wife
because
you watch a sitcom on television you're
like how come my
family home isn't like that my wife
makes up
she's not wearing makeup and her hair is
combed the perfect way and my husband's
teeth
are brushed in it good morning dear how
are you
i brought breakfast for you again this
morning
hello this is not real
this is not real so we have unrealistic
expectations when it comes to marriage
we have
unrealistic expectations when it comes
to the type the perfect husband or
the perfect wife or the type of husband
or wife that we're going to be end up
marrying
we have all these unrealistic
expectations and they will never be
happy
so even if you follow that belief that i
want to marry someone just to
who's going to make me happy what does
that even mean who's going to make you
happy
who's going to fit this perfect fake
world that you're scrolling through
they don't exist so i tell people and i
did this video just a few weeks ago on
my channel
what marriage life is really like what
do husband and wife really argue about
for a guy who's been married for 19
years now almost 20.
i'll tell you what marriage life is like
and i told them this is how we fight
this is how we argue it's how we even
for silly stuff
and no matter how pious you think the
brother is even the biggest sheikhs you
know they argue with their wives
but sheikh xyz he's the one who's doing
marriage talks well let me remind you
didn't the prophet saw islam the mess
man to ever walk on this planet
at one point want to leave all his wives
for 30 days and these are the
mothers of the believers so he's the
best man to walk on this planet
ready to like i need my space for the
mothers of the believers
who are you who am i even eddie argues
with his wife and has
this difference of opinion i argue with
my wife i have different opinion
but the difference is what that our
solution is always islam
that the boundaries that we put
ourselves is always islam
that that there's a line you don't cross
because islam keeps you in check
and that is why it's important to find a
husband or a wife who follows her dean
it's not like where you have recently
it's all over uh the media you had will
smith
it was a jada picket is that his wife
yeah and you ride together
we gotta go together bad marriage for
life
and this is common where the husband and
wife separate
and you know what happened from there
yeah
yeah i mean this is not this is like
they they
so i mean because you say we go back to
islam we go back to the way that the
creator told us to live
so this is not like jumping to another
partner and i'll go experiment here and
there and then come back and
uh eddie do you have any idea of how
much
infidelity is happening with practicing
muslims
i we're not even talking about will
smith and jada this is
actually will smith i'm talking about
muslims
i'm talking about muslims muslims how
far they're doing infidelity
we're just looking at all those of
course they're not muslims
i was talking to a family therapist and
the person was telling me that one of
their clients are two people who go to
fajr
at the masjid they pray fajr at the
masjid so they're practicing muslims
they're both sleeping with different
people
i mean we are living in this generation
the reason why you and i don't hear
about these things
is because we are not family therapists
we're not we don't
it's not like these things that come to
us right we only know what we
what was within our bubble within our
sphere of knowledge right
it's like people publicly talk about
this stuff but if you're a family
therapist
and you and you bring this and you they
can tell you a whole different world
of what they know from practice about oh
you're just in secular muslims or just
muslim by now about practicing muslims
and how much infidelity there is i just
recently heard from something
just locally in my area and it's like
what
yeah this person does this and this girl
does this and like what in the oh
she want to slept with somebody because
he slept with somebody and you could
talk about practicing muslims
what like to me it's kind of like
there's a line you don't cross
like no matter how angry i get with my
wife there's certain words i will never
utter to her
but it's like people don't have that
line so if you don't have that line
then why are you surprised when we are
falling to the same traps as non-muslims
fall into
you know if we don't have if we don't
take our deen seriously we don't care
about islam
and some of you like oh i don't like all
these rules okay fine do whatever you
want
but as soon as you have zero rules and
she has zero rules
and you have a big and the anger comes
and disputes come and shaitan comes and
whispers
you are now left open like everybody
else and all these other things start
entering our muslim community that was
never there before and become normal
unfortunately in our muslim community
that was never before it was a very i
was going through a magazine yesterday
bro and i'm going to my old mag my kids
were cleaning up
the room and i was going through this
they came across the box in the bubble
you have a magazine
and i was like what we had this magazine
for is islamic magazine oh i think half
of our new sponsored
article or something in there a while
back or maybe help the magazine so we
kept a
copy of that article just from memory
and as i'm going through the thing
i came through one of the marriage
things uh one of these
uh things about men and women uh a
couple that was very popular here where
i live
everybody want to put them on
commercials or put them on ads and for
islamic organizations
they were the couple that brother left
the sister
got divorced for another man
look at his place and i'm talking about
some random brother this is like one of
the most popular brothers in our
community it's kind of like the stuff
that's happening now
is kind of like what what well what do
you want
would you guys want to sisters in salah
no problem you want to have men who are
not no longer men and women who are men
no problem well guess what now we have
problem
because now when you open pandora's
boxes
everything goes we're not using quran
and sunni anymore we can just use your
logic
your desire well his desire is another
guy
what are you going to say to them yeah
they have children may god almighty the
creator of law
guide since we mentioned will smith and
jada pick it and give them to the
solutions islamic solutions make allah
help guide the muslim communities keep
us all guided and help us to stick by
the
the guidance that he sent the quran and
the sunnah thank you so much my brother
we gave uh we touched upon a lot of
different issues
hopefully gave some people some things
to to really ponder and think about
and people can visit you uh where can
they hook up with you at
i'm easy to find just type into baba ali
on google and i just all my stuff comes
up you can
have videos on youtube and for those who
are interested in marriage
we do have a website called half our
dean i wasn't here to promote that i was
just here
talking to you about the subjects we
were talking about but um half our deen
is a
marriage site where we help people find
the other half
they there to discover uh the other half
inshallah so
we're not necessarily matchmakers but
each profile you look at
it will tell you about their personality
uh if you can tolerate them it tells you
how quizzes has priorities all these
kind of tools you don't find on typical
websites
our goal is not just to help you get
married we want to make sure you stay
married
and these are kind of like while we're
our talking points today we don't want
our ummah just to we don't want to
thrive but we want them to really really
go back to the way the process
thank you brother it was nice catching
up with you inshallah
you'll do this again sometime again soon
and if you like this episode of the dean
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thank you for tuning in peace be with
you assalamu alaikum