this is our way of just doing a little
bit you know and I'm sure the good
people who are out there you know people
of other faiths they can understand this
moral decline of society Jews and
Christians so we don't like that our
women are out there you know they're
they're being prostituted it's not right
but now how can the brothers defend
themselves Allah's given us the formula
and they're just their urge is coming
out and they're boiling up inside and
you know what this is a major sin if you
fall into boyfriend girlfriend and
you're uh involved in illegal sexual
intercourse pornography is on the rise
no muslim should have any part in this
what are your comments and
suggestions what I would say is you know
what Shan tries you to tries to do with
you and you know when the whole John
Edwards Scandal happened there was a
whole I remember Time magazine or
Newsweek did a whole issue on the
psychology of a cheater and in essence
when a person cheats what they try to do
is they try to ignore reality and they
try to ignore the consequences of their
action so for example a person that's
cheating on his wife will not pull out
his wallet and show the woman that he's
cheating with the pictures of his kids
and things of that sort he wants to
ignore reality he wants to keep that put
away right he's going to keep his cell
phone on silent he's not going to be
able to talk on the phone and things of
that sort with us but he wants to ignore
reality and and ignore the consequences
of his action so that he can ignore a
temporary pleasure that's the struggle
of life with shaan uh with the devil and
and of course in this regard so in
pornography um you know engaging in in
in premarital relationships this has
life changing you know this will damage
your entire life um in essence every
relationship you go through uh a part of
you will die with that relationship you
would have had some secrets that you've
given to the other person you would have
you know had a level of trust now that's
going to to go down the drain um you
would have exposed certain things to
that person and so I mean every time you
go through one of those a part of you
dies Your Capacity to love dies you
become more suspicious of the next
partner the next partner the next
partner you become vulnerable um in one
medical journal um I forgot which
university they said that a woman who
loses uh who loses her virginity by the
age while still in high school is likely
to have up to 17 Partners in the next 5
years wow 17 yeah because of the
vulnerability the the feeling of
vulnerability so this is for brothers
and sisters you go through relationship
you go through these things it will have
damaging effects on your life in essence
um even in in marri marage even in
marriage you know you you'll still have
those those lusts you'll still have
those you know you'll still be looking
all over the place and you won't be
satisfied at home and the last thing you
want is yeah and that's what's happening
here in this you know here today
unfortunately an over 50% divorce rate
in this country that means when you walk
down the aisle in in the United States
in our country uh you know there's a
greater than half of it there's a
greater than half chance that that
person is going to be battling you in
court for custody or for your wealth
half a chance yeah more than 50% the
divorce rate has Ren risen above 50% at
this point but don't stop there we know
Islam is the self-defense to all of this
right negativity evil that happens and
now we look at studies you mentioned a
study from Harvard talk about this study
of people who have premarital sex and
the chances of their relationship coming
to an end just because of this and Islam
prevents this from happening if you just
follow the way of life from the Creator
talk about this study from Harvard
Absolut well I there's like a 69% chance
or something that your your your your
marriage will fail 79% right absolutely
well I think it's it's clear you know
imagine a society just imagine and I'm
not unfortunately a lot of times what
we'll do is we'll start to we'll start
to look at societies that already exist
I'm not talking about that and it's not
a utopian Vision we're talking about how
to have happiness in the home if the
husband is not looking all over the
place and his only uh source of sexual
satisfaction is his wife you know when
he comes home he looks at her and Islam
also encourages the spouses to look good
for each other in the home you know
Abdullah Abbas the great companion may
Allah be pleased with him before he
would walk into the house he would start
combing his hair perfume himself fix his
clothes up you know and he said look I
like to look good for my wife just as I
like her to look good for me you know
where there's where this is encouraged
uh the spouses to dress for one another
so you have the husband who walks into
the house with and takes off his clothes
right away with ironically with What's
called the wife beater you know you've
got the wife uh in her in her uh Winnie
the Pooh pajamas with cream all over her
face whenever the husband comes home and
he's just seeing all those Billboards
that you're talking about now he's
looking at his wife in that state and
she's saying where have you been and
what's wrong with you then you know
you're obviously creating something very
unhealthy so the wife will look
elsewhere for satisfaction the husband
will look elsewhere for satisfaction
whether it's in the form of a virtual
satisfaction in the form of pornography
which unfortunately is you know is
killing killing uh not just our youth
today married couples today it has life
altering effects yeah right so I mean
you just will never be able to have
happiness in your marriage so that's why
Islam encourages you focus your Gaze on
your spouse whenever you you get married
you should look for someone one of the
things that you should look for is
someone that you're attracted to there's
no doubt about it but once you're once
you're there you're there that's it you
look at these glorified um individuals
online uh people that aren't real
looking you know and and you know you
indulge in that then nothing is going to
satisfy the eye anymore and again
everything Allah legislates is for your
own good also it's for your own good in
this world so Allah is trying to make it
easy for you so what I would say to
those people because look I mean let's
face it pornography and those types of
it's It's So rampant and people are
struggling with it that would even be
good in other areas they're good Muslims
but they're struggling with that just
think about the consequences with God
think about having to meet Allah and
having to have that pornography played
in front of you you and having to
explain to Allah that I was watching
this in front of you because Allah was
watching you the whole time you know it
would get awkward if someone was
watching you while you were watching
pornography Allah was watching you so
this is killing your relationship with
God because in essence back to the
psychology of a cheeter you're purposely
trying to ignore God at those moments no
one is sitting there reading Quran while
they're watching pornography or
remembering God they're trying to forget
that God's watching them at that at that
moment so remember God is watching you
and as a scholar said
you are an observance of Allah and Allah
is an observance of you you know so
that's that's what I would say to those
brothers and that way inshallah whenever
the time comes you save yourself for the
right Sister Sister save yourself for
the right brother then inshallah you
would find that uh you would find that
satisfaction in looking at them and you
would find that satisfaction and being
with them and The
Superficial uh aspects of beauty would
definitely go away but the inner beauty
would be your focus and that would allow
the person to remain beautiful in your
eyes for the rest of your life inshallah