[Music]
uh so first first of all I just want to
make something very clear you know when
when ABD nasar was talking about the
importance of the parents and uh you
know in that very moving talk you know
sometimes when we talk about like the
salaf and the stories of the people that
came before and uh you know there was IM
Ahmed who didn't get married until his
mom passed away who refused to get
married till his mom passed away or you
find you know
Z wouldn't eat from the plate until his
mother ate from the plate and those
types of things you know there are
people
even today uh that still hold their
parents in that same
regard um how many of you ever heard of
Sheik Muhammed
M he's the son of the former mu
Muhammad uh very famous scholar in
Medina you know he didn't get married
till his
40s CU he applied the same thing as Imam
ahmedim where he said I'd wait I would
not be able to fulfill my rights towards
her uh if I'm married and that's it's
it's not Sunnah you don't have to wait
but Subhan Allah he just felt that same
that same sense of Burden that he did
not get married until his mother passed
away also how many of you have heard
ofi you know zami has been approached by
the Saudi government to become the IM of
the Haram twice but he refused both
times because his parents live in deam
and his parents wanted him to stay close
to him Subhan Allah we we still find
even today some of you know these
Scholars and great personalities that
truly put their parents above all and
that's really the meaning of this Hadith
it's not just any typical Hadith about
the rights of parents it's again putting
them before everything else now compare
that to you know our our our day and age
or where we are today and what we see
happening in our communities where
someone wants to get married and they're
willing to sacrifice the relationship of
20 25 years because of a person that
they met two months ago at an MSA
and I'm willing to forget about all of
that because I want to marry that person
and that's it now I'm not saying that
sometimes the parents are unjus are not
unjustified uh or are
unjustified whenever they uh whenever
they stop a person from getting married
but the point is again you know just the
the complete lack of respect lack of
understanding lack of appreciation is
sometimes really disturbing and Subhan
Allah it it ties into all of these
situations and the beauty of this Hadith
is that all three of these situations TI
are tied in with one another this the
second situation which is the one I'm
going to cover how many of you are going
to college next
year sisters mallah how many of you are
already in college how many of you live
alone not many of you how many of you
plan on living
alone I forgot you're Daisy you guys
stay living with each other forever you
get married and you just bring the wife
into the house too you I know how it
goes but anyway in essence this concept
of being alone being unmonitored finally
having some privacy finally having some
freedom and what we realize sometimes
when we go off to college when when we
go to when we go to our schools and
where we're no longer under the eye of
our parents what we realize sometimes is
that when we were growing up we really
didn't have tawa of Allah we kind of had
TAA of our parents but we didn't have
tawa of Allah because it EXP oses you
because now all of a sudden you're alone
all of a sudden you have the chance to
to disobey Allah subhana wa tala all of
a sudden you are your own man you are
your own woman and all of these
Temptations start hitting you from the
right and from the left from behind you
and from in front of you and Allah
subhana wa tala exposes either your true
tawa or your lack thereof and this
Hadith by the way by the way why were
these three men in the cave in the first
place did you guys talk about that
okay he says that there was a storm
there was a storm so it's not like these
three guys just went to a cave and
started you know having a bonfire or
something like that and started talking
there was a storm that forced these
three men into a cave to shelter
themselves from the storm and during
that storm the the stone had moved the
rock or the boulder had moved to shut
the cave and that's when they started to
make this deal to invoke Allah subhana
wa tala with their Good Deeds now now
what you'll notice about this situation
this second situation it's unlike the
first one why was the first situation
about a man who did a good deed or was
it about a man who left the
sin a person who did a good deed okay he
did a good deed for his
parents this person that I'm talking
about right now is someone who did not
do a good deed he just happened to leave
a sin but he considered it a good deed
he considered it a good deed and so did
Allah subhanahu waala because when he
made the Dua the boulder did move so
that was a sign of acceptance of that
and as we uh as we read this second
person wasallam says he said oh Allah I
had a cousin who was the dearest of all
people to me and I wanted to have
intercourse with her but she refused
later she came across hard times during
a year of famine and she came to me and
I gave her 120 Dinars on the condition
that she would not resist my desires and
she agreed when I was about to fulfill
my desires and by the way just for this
it's important to to sort of show you
the depth of the situation the the
explanation of this Hadith is when he
says I was about to it's not that he was
talking to her that he was starting no
they were already engaged in the act and
he was about to take it to the next
level he was about to take it to the
next level so they were all already
laying together just to show you again
how intense this was at that moment at
that moment she said to me it is illegal
for you to violate my chastity except
through marriage ex except through the
way that Allah subhana tala made it
permissible he said so I realized it was
a sin and I left her and I even had some
gold with me that I left for her so so
the 120 Dinars and the gold I left it
all over there and I went away
understanding that Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala had forbidden this and then he
made that Dua to Allah subhana wa tala
oh Allah if you know that this was done
for your
sake please relieve us from this present
uh Calamity so anyway we get to this
situation number one and there are many
things to break down from this Hadith if
you're not taking notes then you have a
problem so number
one the fact that this person said twice
in theith
she was the most beloved person to me so
this was not just some Crush that he
developed overnight this was not just
someone that he found attractive this
was someone that he developed feelings
for he says this in the beginning and he
says this in the end to emphasize I
actually had feelings for her she was
the most beloved person to me this was
not someone that just caught me at one
night I was developing my feelings for
her we were getting closer to each other
and I still left it for your sake oh
Allah many times what happens in these
situations again we go off and we have
some privacy we start developing a
relationship sometimes
subconsciously sometimes it comes
through an MSA through an organization
through ym maybe whatever it is and we
start sending Facebook messages to each
other and we start adding those little
smiley faces all the time and you know
we start on we start saying different
things we start becoming a little bit
more flirtatious we start laughing a
little bit more with each other we start
developing feelings for each other and
it's kind of understood that you know
what I'm going to marry you and you're
going to marry me now the problem with
all of that is that you start
talking and you're still you know you're
still convincing yourself or rather Shan
is telling you look you're not doing
anything wrong alhamdulillah you didn't
do this and then when you do that then
Shan says well it could have been a lot
worse alhamdulillah you didn't do that
so you know you start talking you start
meeting in public maybe with a group of
friends then you start meeting
alone then you start tapping each other
on the shoulder then you start maybe you
know touching a little bit but you're
not getting completely intimate then you
go to the
parents you see the problem with the
equation here then you go to the parents
and you act like nothing ever
happen and then the daughter says Dad
you know this guy wants to marry me what
do you think and he says I don't like
him he's not hydrabadi or I don't like
him he's not from Palestine or he's not
from Kar
or he's not this he's not that or I
don't like him he hasn't finished enough
of his
education then the tragedy starts from
there but wait a minute I love him I
can't let him go what do you mean is
that all isn't that Hadith about the uh
can I find something in the that says I
don't need a wi how can I get around my
parents now let me find an IM who's
going to do this marriage let me let me
see how I can get around this now you
start creating your
own and customizing your relationship
with Allah to conform with a Haram
relationship that you already
established with someone else and then
you want to say Islam is not fair why
does Islam say that the parents have
this Authority why does Islam say this
why does Islam say that why why is this
happening to me but I love him I love
her I can't let it go you shouldn't have
developed the relationship in the first
place if the equation was proper then
you wouldn't have found yourself and the
Dilemma that you're in and then you say
but I can't live without her I can't
live without him it's your fault you
started it you developed you allowed
yourself to develop that relationship so
now for the sake of saving your other
relationship with Allah subhana tala and
then the second most important
relationship with your parents you need
to sacrifice the one that is that is
that is grabbing your heart at that
moment so he allowed himself to develop
feelings for her and he didn't stop it
at its root
now is it permissible in Islam to marry
your cousin I know it's gross and
disgusting in America because we're
Americans and we see it as weird but is
it permissible
yes so could he have approached this the
right way yes but he didn't he allowed
the feelings to develop he kept getting
close to her and in particular what do
you think allowed those feelings to
develop
more the fact that she was his
cousin right let me tell you what
happens in some Muslim countries and
even here but even in some Muslim
countries because we always we're always
told about how bad we are as American
Muslims in some Muslim countries female
cousins will not wear hijab even if they
are they are regular mutat in front of
their male cousins this is extremely
common so the and and it's not just the
cloth but the whole you know the rules
of modesty the rules that govern hijab
the situation in the state of hijab when
it comes to cousins it's not there it's
not there so you know it even though
it's
permissible people you know and this
person is just as strange to me as any
stranger on the outside from an Islamic
standpoint that person is supposed to
observe just as much hijab in front of
you as they are in front of any other
man on the street but she's my cousin
he's my cousin so you start developing
feelings you start getting close to each
other oh you're you're just like my
sister and then you've got the whole
brother-in-law and sister-in-law thing
and this is crucial by the way this is
not racism at all and if you're Daisy I
I I consider myself half Daisy because I
was in a dacey community for six years I
can't even eat Arab food anymore so
don't take any offense to this but this
culture this culture of moving the wife
in when I've got a brother who's the
same who's close to my age and who's
going to interact with her without her
hijab and without any bounds whatso ever
is a destructive culture it's so much so
that the prophet sallallah alai wasallam
said the brother-in-law is death can you
imagine that statement the
brother-in-law is death that doesn't
mean you should hate your
brother-in-law that doesn't mean you
should hate your brother-in-law but it's
easy to assume well he's like my brother
now you know husband and wife start
talking she's like my sister he's like
my brother now and then you start
establishing a relationship ship with
each other you start you start being
more friendly with each other the hijab
becomes LAX in front of the
brother-in-law now if it's not the
clothing of hijab just the barriers are
are are blurred there I've seen people
that are that are considered to be
extremely religious right they'll Poe
for pictures with their female cousins
they'll post for pictures with their
sister-in-law it's it's
whatever she's my sister he's my brother
and wasallam said no he's
death why because you know how many
times I'm telling you as IM when I was
IM in New Orleans W how many times I had
a situation where a brother-in-law was
at home alone with his sister-in-law
with his own brother's wife and then one
day groped her but they decided to save
face in the family not to tell anybody
but the but the girl was distraught
forever just a few weeks ago when I was
visiting a community a girl in full
hijab and full jbab and I'm talking
about her hijab comes down to her
wrists she was telling me that her her
male cousin her male cousin took her to
school she's in high school he always
used to take her to school and all of a
sudden he pulled the car car over and
this is a Masjid goer and she's a Masid
Gore religious family all of a sudden he
pulled the call car over and started to
make a move on her but she didn't tell
anybody because he threatened her he
said if you tell anyone I'm going to
tell you know I'm going to tell your dad
that you did this and this and this and
that it'll be my word against yours Shan
starts to play in those times but you
know how many times whenever the hijab
gets blurred you stop understanding or
you stop abiding by the limits of Allah
subhanahu wa'ta'ala so Allah allows you
to fall into destruction you destroy
yourselves everything in the Shar is for
our own good everything in the Shar is
for our own good oh she's like my cousin
she's like my sister man she's not my
cousin you know that I would never think
about marrying her anyway I would never
think about anything like that and you
know even again the brother-in-law the
sister-in-law all of that it all gets
blurred and that's a problem that's a
problem when you read in the classical
books
of even brother and sister are supposed
to observe certain limits with each
other I'm not saying she has to wear
hijab in front of her brother absolutely
not but even brother and sister are not
supposed to get too comfortable not
supposed to be in the same bed you know
even if it's just whatever they're not
she's not supposed to dress indecently
in front of him right the way that they
hug the way there you would actually
find instructions the way that they hug
should not be the way that a husband
would hug his wife or a son would hug
his mother because even that can get bad
but of course this is something where
you have a situation with non mahs
people that are actually prohibited for
you but you allow yourself to develop a
close relationship with them because the
culture does not consider them to be
nonaham so that's the first thing
understand the bounds that that Allah
subhana wa tala has set for you the
other
thing whenever you're developing that
feeling don't allow yourself to be
alone don't allow yourself to be alone
with that person whether it's physically
or whether it's
virtually cyber chatting emails text
messages whatever it is don't allow
yourself to be alone and the scholars
say if you have feelings for that person
then don't allow yourself to be in their
company even if there is no
whatsoever even if even if there's no
seclusion because it's dangerous for you
at that point so you need to you need to
exercise some boundaries you need to
separate yourself from the situation
because you are developing you're
developing feelings for that person
now another thing and this was something
that personally one of my one of my
Scholars I remember back in in one of
the conferences and I was a kid so but
it was the Maya conference they used to
have the Muslim Arab Youth Of America
and they used to bring all before before
America used to you know not allow
Scholars to come here uh used to have
serious coming from all over the world
to this country having major conferences
that couldn't be held anywhere in the
Muslim world and there was once a there
was once a a a decision from the
scholars of Maya that a young man
because obviously they were addressing a
group of immigrants young men that were
coming here to start their lives and
they were college students that no young
man should live
alone either he gets married or he gets
a
roommate because once you're alone Shan
can start playing games with you it
starts to open the doors for things some
of the scholars and I'm not even going
to say their names because they're
banned now some of the scholars went so
far to say that it was
Haram that it would be Haram in the
situation that we are in now because so
many youth were coming from the Muslim
world and they were in a in a strict
situation all of a sudden now they had
this free world and all of a sudden they
were opening themselves up to so many
different forms of Haram they destroyed
themselves so the point is don't allow
yourself to be in in close contact with
that person but the heart of all of this
the heart of all of this is the concept
of the concept of being watched of being
observed by Allah subhana waala and
knowing that Allah subhana wa tala is
observing you as IM said
you are observing Allah and Allah is
observing you you're observing his
presence by worshiping him as if you can
see him and he sees you so you are
observing him and he's observing you all
of a sudden Allah subhana T created a
cover for you Allah created a cover for
you all of a sudden now you're off to
school you're independent you've got
your own car your parents are not giving
you curfews you have your own time alone
you can't can be with certain people you
can do certain things that were off
limits and Shan wants you to experiment
it's only natural he wants you to
experiment but at that moment you need
to make sure that you're observant of
Allah subhana tala that Allah is
watching you because the peak of
hypocrisy the peak of hypocrisy and the
worst of PE the worst of people in the
sight of Allah is the prophet Salli
wasallam said is one who is
two-faced one who is two-faced not two-
faced in the sense that he tells you one
thing and he goes to another person says
another thing that you're a totally
different person literally you have two
faces you have one with your parents and
one outside you have one with the Masjid
and one for school now we have multiple
faces multiple faces through social
networking mashallah multiple faces you
could create five different profiles for
yourself okay and Subhan Allah you could
portray yourself as something that you
are totally not but that shows that
you're no longer observing Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala one of the
scholars um IM narrates that one of the
Sala he said that my father taught me
that every night before I go to sleep so
he kept on increasing this for me he
told me to
say that my father kept on telling me
every night before I go to sleep to say
Allah is with me Allah is witnessing me
Allah sees me he was implanting in me
this concept of and he would tell me
every single night to say it more and
more and more and more until I tasted
the sweetness of that till I understood
Allah is with me
Allah Allah is watching
me Allah is is uh is Allah is witnessing
me and that Allah is watching me until I
tasted the sweetness of that till I
understood when Allah creates you that
cover you know one of the scholars one
of the poets he
said and then whenever you find yourself
under a cover and the soul the self
starts to call you to Rebellion then
remind
yourself the one who created Darkness
the one who created the cover that's on
me right now sees me right now the one
who created that for me in the first
place I had youth that would that would
be in the Masjid whenever they're trying
to get into med school making Dua I'm
telling you doing in the mid that they
pass their mcats that they're going to
get into this med school once they got
to med school they started dating they
started establishing relationships their
parents sent them off mallah now they're
in the dorm and for another time uh this
is whenever I go off on the parents for
expecting their kids to remain pure
until the age of 28 30 years old without
getting into any relationship in this
country which I think is absurd and
ridiculous so if you're a parent fear
Allah subhana t with your children but
it doesn't absolve the children of the
responsibility you'll get punished too
if you still do it it's just a greater
test for you Allah created a cover for
you Allah gave you a blessing of going
to school Allah gave you a blessing of
having a social life and then you use
that cover that Allah gave you you use
that blessing that Allah gave you to
disobey
him so remind yourself the one who
created this cover for me in the first
place he sees me right now so it's not
about who else sees me I know that Allah
subhana tala is watching me I know that
Allah subhana tala who gave me if I have
Beauty Allah who gave me this beauty
Allah subhana tala is watching me at
this point also remember the jealousy of
Allah the honor of Allah now I know this
one's going to sound really really weird
to you all but it's very important
jealousy always has a negative
connotation in the English language it
doesn't always have a negative
connotation in the Arabic
language it's more of honor and dignity
because jealousy means you accuse an
innocent person in English right and
those if any of you take the behind the
scenes class I go into a long discussion
about this the of Allah the of
Allah one time or maybe it was I forgot
which it was but he was telling the s he
said if I ever caught my
wife in the act of Zena I would kill her
and I would kill the guy with the
sharpest part of the
sword so the sahabah came to the prophet
s wasallam and they were like this is a
little too much isn't it and the prophet
sallai wasallam
said are you amazed are you impressed by
the honor of
s and they said y it's too much and he
said
I have more than
him and Allah has more than me you know
how in all the Hollywood movies you
always you know they always got the girl
that's being chased that has the big
scary father that keeps a gun or what
was that movie what was that movie
called with uh I hated that movie what
was it Meet the Parents
right that was a little psychotic and
overboard I only watched the first one
but uh you know that whole concept of
the scary dad the dad that's going to
try to kill you you know it sort of
creates the the the rabbit you know the
rabbit Hunter it sort of creates that
chase right that Pursuit and guys like
that you know running after the girl
trying to get around the big scary
father well obviously in college and in
school when or whenever you're alone you
start establishing these relationships
it's not in the presence of the
father now you act with more adab you
act with more dignity you're a little
bit more scared let's say if I told you
guys specifically guys that the girl
that you're trying to mess with right
now her dad owns 20
guns and he's a former Marine and he has
a formal he has a former conviction or
he killed somebody before I don't care
how pretty the girl is you're going to
watch
yourself you're going be like no I'm
okay
sorry are you sure yeah I'm I'm I'm all
right
you will become you you will look at
your shoes and you be like oh I didn't
realize my shoes had some blue on them
all of a sudden you're going to start
lowering your gaze you're going to be
scared now what is the messenger of
Allah wasallam telling
us sallallahu alaihi wasallam is saying
even if a woman has no man who has of
her Allah has more than any other man
and Allah doesn't just own 20 guns Allah
owns Hellfire
so you better be careful you're
overstepping your bounds sisters the
same thing happens too because you know
what happens with a really jealous dad
he kills you and he kills the
guy so you are offending Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala whenever you whenever you make
yourself promiscuous or whenever you
open yourself up to that relationship
even if they don't have a man who's
going to be a real man Allah subhana wa
tala has more than any man we ask Allah
to protect us and that's why
he said I used to see a woman in my
dream and I know that she was not Halal
for me now here's the thing in your
dream I'm I'm going to give you guys a
shimmer of Hope if you see something in
your dream it's okay that doesn't mean
that you can sit there before you sleep
and try to think about somebody until
you can dream about her or sisters you
can't do the same thing all right you
can't just sit there and dream about the
guy until you think of him and then you
have a dream or whatever it is about
that person but if you have a dream
about a person you don't have to lower
your gaze in your dream enjoy your dream
okay enjoy it you don't have to lower
your gaze and you probably want because
you're in a dream anywhere you're not
thinking about and and those types of
things in that situation but
IM he says that I used to see a woman in
my
dream and I know that she's not for
me so I lower my gaze I would take my
gaze away from her even in my
dream Subhan Allah you develop that
strong sense of Allah is watching me
right now I'm shy I'm
ashamed I'm shy I'm ashamed I'm scared
if you need to make yourself fear Allah
more and think of Hellfire more think of
Hellfire more I am scared of Allah
subhah wa taala of offending Allah
subhah wa taala of going over the
boundaries that Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala has created uh for me and IM
Hass he says something very powerful
he says that and and this is he says you
know he gives us this scenario again
Allah creates for you a cover this man
is alone with her now he has the full
opportunity to do what he has to
do and
imass he said that a
thief whenever he's robbing a house and
he hears the door knob rattle or he
hears the door starting to open what
does he do he runs and he hides he runs
and he hides okay and he says at that
moment the Thief went from committing an
action of theft to committing an act of
shik he didn't become a cfir he
committed an act of disbelief why
because Allah was watching him the whole
time and he only got scared when the
door knob started to Rattle that's when
you know you're being a complete
hypocrite when you're on your computer
and then when you think someone's coming
close by you need to start minimizing
your
windows that's when you know something
is wrong when you're afraid of the gate
and you're afraid of the the sight of
people you're afraid of other people
seeing you Allah was watching you the
whole time and that kills your heart
what's worse a public sin or a private
sin what's worse a public sin
right said that Allah would forgive a
person on the day of judgment a Believer
for everything except for the sins that
he made public that he boasted about why
because you're proud of it you're proud
of it it's it's a Shani type of of
attribute satanic right you go out there
and you tell people hey you know what I
did last night I was talking to this
girl and I was talking to this it's it's
satanic in its
nature but the scholars of tusia they
say that the ones that kill the heart
more and that hinder your spiritual
progress more are the secret sins and
that's why
iMed he said in the very famous poem
I'm afraid that my Lord will tell me on
the day of judgment weren't you ashamed
of disobeying me and hiding the sin from
my creation my lowly creation and with
your Disobedience coming to me flaunting
to me it hinders your spiritual progress
more why because it increases your
two-facedness it increases your
hypocrisy it kills the sense of you
purposely try to ignore Allah subhanahu
wa taala I remember when John Edwards
did what he did and he got caught he did
what he did many times and but then when
he got caught I remember Newsweek or
Time Magazine did it did uh a paper or
did an um an addition on the psychology
of a cheater the psychology of a cheater
and in essence when a person is cheating
on his wife or when a person is trying
to cheat on whatever it is when a
person's trying to have an affair what
did they
do they try to
ignore every portion of reality that
they possibly can think about it when a
person's cheating they don't sit there
and take out their phone and say hey
check out this picture of my kids yeah
she's too she's pretty isn't
she and if if his wife calls he's not
going to answer the phone and just talk
normally what's that person going to do
he's going to turn his cell phone off
he's going to hide his wallet he's going
to hide the pictures of his kids he's
going to try to ignore the consequences
of his actions he's going to try to
ignore
reality so in essence whenever we cheat
on Allah subhah wa taala on our
relationship with Allah subhanahu wa
taala we do the same thing we try to
ignore the circumstances we try to
ignore the consequences of the sin we
try to ignore reality we try to pretend
he's not there if I close my eyes enough
maybe I can pretend he's not
there but he's there and he's watching
you and he created that cover for you
and he knows what you're doing under
that cover and it's more offensive to
him subhanahu wa'ta'ala when you have
the audacity to sin with that major sin
with that great sin just because his
lowly creation is not watching you at
that
moment when you go off and you find your
time alone when you're on your computer
and you have your time alone when you're
on your phone and you have your time
alone know that Allah subhanahu wa tala
knows what all of your text messages
look like and even if you delete your
cookies and your history online Allah
subhana knows what they were you're not
fooling Allah you're not fooling Allah
the last thing that I want to come to I
want to end it on a positive note
because all of you look scared right
now I want to end it on a positive
note Allah subhanahu wa taala rewarded
this
person who was in the act of committing
Zena and had there not been children in
here I would be a little bit more
explicit as the scholars of Hadith were
but I won't but he was right there he
was in the
process and he held himself at that
moment moment and he left that
act for that you get
rewarded think about that think about
the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala
for that you get rewarded right and then
we look at the famous Hadith of the
messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam
where he says that if a person makes a
good intention and follows it up with a
good action then how many times is he
rewarded he's 10
times 10 times the reward so Allah
multiplies the good deed if he makes a
good intention but he doesn't fulfill it
with he doesn't follow it up with action
what does Allah give him he still gives
him a good deed I met well you had a
good intention Allah writes down for you
the good deed as if you performed it as
if you did the good deed Allah just
won't multiply it for
you if a person sins and he follows it
if a person has the intention of doing
something bad and he does the bad what
does Allah write for him just one
sin if a person has the intention to sin
but doesn't follow follow it up with an
act of
sin what does Allah subhana t write for
him see some of you said nothing Allah
writes for him a good
deed how crazy is that Subhan Allah and
I mean crazy and like awesome crazy I
don't mean crazy like in janun I mean
like
wow human beings can't even fathom that
right that's like somebody coming to
your house with a baseball bat about to
bust up your car I don't know if any of
you know Britney Spears or if you had
some relationship with her in the past
but apparently she likes to beat up cars
with a baseball bat so anyway she shows
up to your house or not she let's say a
person shows up to your house with a
baseball bat is about to bust up your
car and then says you know what no and
then goes and knocks on the door says
Hey Muhammad you know I just wanted to
let you know I was I was really upset
about the conversation we had last night
about all that trash talk about the
76ers in the Celtics so I decided to
come to your house and bust up your car
but I'm sorry
sry now Muhammad if he's a good
guy he just says
okay umum closes the door if he's a good
guy if he's a normal guy he calls the
police and says there's a guy with a
baseball bat on my premises that came to
bust up my car but if he's a if he's one
who excels well actually that's not even
that's that's even human isan doesn't
fathom this doesn't you know doesn't
Encompass this you imagine if Muhammad
says oh man that's okay here how much
gas did you spend coming here let me pay
you for the
gas and you know how much did you buy
that baseball bat for I'll buy your bat
too like whoa thanks
man that's if that's not even human
right but that's
Allah it's not human but that's
Allah Allah would actually give you a
good deed because you were about to do
something offensive to him you were
engaging in the Sin and then you held
yourself and you stopped Allah gives you
a good deed for that Subhan Allah and
that's why on the day of judgment one of
the men in one of the people in the
category of those who are shaded by the
shade of Allah subhanahu wa taala when
on the day when there is no other shade
amongst a a just ruler right imagine a
just ruler someone who grew up in the
Masjid attached to the Masjid
amongst this High category of people you
have a
person a person who was approached by a
woman of status and beauty and it
applies to Sisters too not with sisters
but with Brothers okay and said I fear
Allah I'm afraid of Allah I'm afraid of
Allah I fear Allah not no sometimes you
need to scare yourself you need to
remember that Allah owns Hellfire that
I'm offending the one who holds my
destiny in his hands and can put me in
Hellfire I fear Allah I'm holding myself
back and for that Allah gave him that
Elite Company the company of the sh the
martyrs and the and the truthful and the
prophets Allah gave him that status and
that honor because he held himself back
he stopped now obviously you don't want
to put yourself in a
situation you don't want to put yourself
in a situation where you're going to get
anywhere close to Z and that's why Allah
says don't come close to it don't get
yourself started you know don't don't
ruin yourself don't get yourself in the
relationship and then try to go to your
parents and try to make it all Halal and
try to make people kick it under the rug
Allah is going to get you Allah is going
to get you if you offend Allah Allah
will get you unless you repent and the
only way to sincerely repent is to leave
it but what if you're already engaged in
a
relationship what if you've already put
yourself in that danger zone what do you
do and I'm going to end on this one
story and this is in the
of verse number
201 verse number 201
of
and titles
this a young man who spoke from his
grave and
IM he narrates that there was a young
man who was always in
the from the students of none other
than he used to sit in all of the he
used to keep the company
of and his father was a Sheikh and when
they say his father was a shikh meaning
he was an old man not a Sheikh as in a
scholar an old man an old man but Subhan
Allah so and the reason why these
narrations would make it a point to
mention that is because you know he was
a person that had a level of
Independence his father was dependent on
him so he was a he was a student of
knowledge he had the presence
of he had you know he was always in the
Masjid and then one day on his way
home there was a woman that was calling
him to her home she was a beautiful
woman and he fell for it and that shows
you by the way just because you're
religious doesn't mean that you're not
going to fall for these things sometimes
you might fall for them it's not about
if you fall for them or it's not about
how you fall for them or if you fall for
them it's about how quickly you get
yourself out of the
situation so he followed her to her
home as he walked behind her as she
invited him into her home as he walked
behind her
he remembered the words of Allah subh
and this is the Ayah number 201
of those who truly are conscious of
their
lord if they are tempted by a little
touch of
thean and again it shows you that you're
never absolved don't feel bad if you
fell for this once or twice don't feel
bad it's about how you get yourself out
right now I know some of you are in
these relationships right now religious
or
non-religious Shan got you he touched
you he tempted you he got you for a
moment he staggered you he got you off
your feet and he was following this
woman to her house and he remembered
this Ayah Allah subhana says at that
moment they remember
Allah so now all of a sudden they can
see you know B and are two different
things B he can see right now but he
can't
see he doesn't understand what's he's
not really seeing like some of you are
looking at me right now but you have no
idea what I'm talking
about and some of you are extracting
things from the words that I'm saying
that even I can't extract because the
prophet Sall alhi wasallam said that
sometimes the listener gains more or
understands something more than the
speaker some of you because of your Bas
because of your attentiveness because
your Insight you're getting things from
this lecture that even I'm not getting
so Allah says so he's following along
then all of a
sudden what am I
doing he passed
out he passed
out and the woman shut the door on him
and she left him sleeping in front of
her
door he woke up and he started to cry
and he went to his father and he told
his father what he did and his father
said and he was crying when he was
talking to his dad he said I can't
believe I did this and he was shivering
out of the fear of Allah subhana T he
didn't do it he just was about to do it
but he caught himself and his father
said to him y oh my son what did you say
you know that made you
stop and he recited the Ayah again to
his father and then he fell and he
died he fell and he died and this was a
student
of so understood what
happened knew what happened and they
prayed janaz on him that night and went
and he sat next to him while the people
were while the people were there after
the janaza after they buried him
and talking to a student imagine what a
what a humiliating way right what a
humiliating way for my student to go out
this was a a student of knowledge to the
one who the prophet Sall alai wasallam
said if there was to be a prophet after
me it would have been Omar he was spoken
to by the
Angels he was a student of him not a
student of Omar or a student of
ABD he was a student
of and was heartbroken so sat next to
his grave and he
said oh young
man and for the one who feared the power
of His Lord is to God
gens and the young man spoke from his
grave a miracle from Allah subhanahu wa
taala and he
said Allah has given it to me oh
twice some of the scholars they said
twice because the time he held himself
back from the fear of Allah and then the
other time when he was speaking to his
father he got fearful again and he
passed out again Allah gave me four
Gardens instead of
two why I held myself so if you're in
that relationship right now or if you're
thinking about getting in that
relationship or if you think that Allah
has created a cover for you so you can
do whatever you want Allah subhana T
sees you Allah is the one who created
the cover for you in the first place but
don't lose hope even the student of Omar
got lost don't lose hope just pick
yourself up before it gets worse before
you end up losing your parents your
reputation destroy destroying your
future prospects of a Halal marriage get
all of that out the way stop it now yes
you will feel the hurt because you might
have developed a true love for that
person this man when he's talking to
Allah he makes it a point to say to this
to Allah subhana T
twice oh Allah I love her I love her you
know how much I love her she's the most
beloved person to me in the world but I
left her for
you I knew it didn't start on the right
foot and for those of you that are
Wonder wondering well if I'm in this
relationship can't I just make it Halal
now can I just make it Halal now and I
want to tell you that nothing that
starts with offending Allah subhanahu wa
taala will become blessed by Allah
subhana wa tala in that way unless
there's a sincere repentance in the in
in the way now what I mean by that you
know it's let me put it to you this way
if you were to bring a girl home or
sisters if you were to bring a brother
home and the first thing that person did
was curse your mother out and throw a
shoe at her it doesn't matter how many
cards he brings and how many flowers he
brings you threw a shoe at me you cursed
me out I remember now Allah subhana TAA
forgives and Allah subh accepts sincere
repentance but what is sincere
repentance at that moment what is
sincere repentance when you're engaged
in that relationship what is it to leave
that relationship that relationship is a
sin not to say oh Allah I'm in this
relationship can you make it Halal now
that's like you know Subhan Allah
there's an expression in Arabic that you
know you fix someone's hat and then you
slap him and the hat goes to the side
and then you try to fix the Hat again
you can't do that with Allah of course
but I'm saying it's offensive it's like
you would offend the human being like
I'm still engaged I'm not willing to
leave thisam so can you make this Haram
Halal for me no that's not sincere
repentance sincere repentance is I can't
talk to you
anymore I know I have love for this
person but look I can't talk to you
anymore and then while you're alone oh
Allah forgive me and then if Allah
subhanahu waa forgives you and then
maybe later on down the line after
you've really withdrew yourself from
that then maybe it can work out if it
starts off the Halal way again if you
come through the front door now go
through the proper channels go through
the proper means maybe then it will work
out but don't try to don't try to play
that game with Allah subhana wa tala you
know I'll give you a correlation of that
in
Islam is is basically if a if if a woman
has been divorced three times a man and
a woman were divorced three times then
they cannot be together anymore unless
unless the woman was to get married and
wants to become intimate with her
husband and then divorce him too because
that means that that's a woman that
probably has some serious issues with
marriage so fine it wasn't it wasn't you
it wasn't about the comp compatibility
of you and her or of her and you it was
that you know you guys just aren't very
good marriage material so maybe you
deserve each
other but in Islam it's Haram for a
woman to say oh well I've been divorced
three times let me go have a paper
marriage just so I can say I was married
again so I can come back to my old
husband and say hey we're married again
why because it wasn't real it's
artificial it's superficial it's on
paper so for you to have Allah bless
your
relationship you need to leave that
relationship and you need to seek
forgiveness from Allah repair your
relationship with him and repair your
relationship with your parents and then
if later on down the line if when you're
when you're when your mind has become
free of those impurities from those
thoughts you think to yourself that's
the best person for me in my Dean then
you go through the proper
channels and may Allah subhana tala help
you all because it's tough I know may
Allah help you all cuz it's tough I mean
that from the bottom of my heart I
really feel for you and I understand
that our cultures just suck when it
comes to this let's face it but that's
Allah testing you a little bit more take
the test inshallah and with any test
when you pass the test it's that much
sweeter it's that much sweeter W take
you a few more years to get married but
once you get married and that's the only
person you've ever shared your secrets
with that's the only person you got
close to it's that much sweeter it's
that much sweeter it's not Jen cuz some
of you are like wow that's Jenna it's
not
Jenna Jenna is even sweeter than that
because even after you get married
you'll still have issues not with not
necessarily with her you will have
issues with her and you will have issues
with him but life will still be a test
and that's what makes Jenna so sweet you
struggled for it you toiled for
it this is a reward for that which you
used to do that's what Jenna is so when
you get married it's a little minor
Jenna for the first
year second year is kind of bad
sometimes
no I'm just playing may Allah bless you
all inshallah may Allah subhana allow us
all to have good pure religious spouses
inshallah who better Us in D and in Dean
everyone say a may Allah subhana wa
taala not allow our marriages to come in
the way of our relationships with our
parents may Allah subhana T not allow
our relationships to come in the way of
our relationship with Allah may Allah
subhanahu wa'ta'ala allow us to be
amongst those who love and who hate only
for his sake all