[Music]
this is
the welcome back to the dean show
special guest sh Mustafa peace be with
you I'm excellent how are you now you
good alhamdulillah you weren't always in
a position where you're at you're
actually educating people teaching
people the purpose of life inviting
people to have a relationship with the
one who created creation but you are
actually fighting against it as an
atheist but you were Muslim first so you
are Muslim in bhari the books of bukari
on your back yes and then you took a
philosophy class androy the story takes
off from there let's go back it up now
let's let's let's talk from the
beginning a little bit give us some
highlights how it all started yes I mean
I grew up in a a Muslim family you can
say not very practicing little bit more
cultural than Muslim we kind of went for
you know Friday prayers um sometimes we
fasted in Ramadan but that's pretty much
it so didn't really have that many
Islamic teachings uh went to Sunday
school didn't pay attention didn't
really understand what was going on
there no one was really interested in
that so I kind of grew up that way uh
Islam was just something like as part of
a culture we didn't understand what was
going on and then in my junior year of
high school we took a trip to mecah and
we went for the omra the the minor
pilgrimage and that was just seeing a
different world for me that just changed
things completely so there I go into a
bookstore and I'm seeing the cabba I'm
seeing you know mecah the the people
there hearing the aan the call to prayer
on a regular basis lot of emotions there
lot of emotions there it's like just a
different society never seen anything
like this in my life you know and I've
traveled a lot and walk into a bookstore
and they got actually like you know I
see Islamic books for the first time in
my life I see translations of Hadith the
statements of the Prophet peace be upon
him uh I see translations of the Quran
and I was like you know what I can
investigate this I can you know learn
more about this so I buy a translation
of the Quran I buy a alari you know a
collection of sayings of the Prophet
peace be upon him nine volumes carry it
back with me on the airplane I say you
know I'm going to try to learn about
this religion of mine I'm going to going
to find out if it's the truth or not so
I come back I start reading and I start
you know appreciating Islam so you know
I'm going to find this out find out on
my own what is Islam what is this thing
that I was raised on supposedly what is
this all supposed to mean and I started
becoming more interested and I said you
this seems like it's the truth I started
comparing what I know about Hinduism I
said you know I can't worship a statue
you know something like that I start
thinking about Christianity I I can't
believe that you know like a man is
going to be God
Judaism that's I'm not even I don't have
the right blood in me you know so the
these things don't work for me I say
Islam is the thing that kind of makes
sense you know if we're going to believe
in God that's like the the religion
which I can consider so I start getting
more and more you know learning about
Islam on my own reading the Quran
reading these books of Hadith
and I start to have like a appreciation
for Islam did you have a teacher did you
have someone giving you some Direction
so that was the issue so I did not have
a teacher and the one of the reasons why
I didn't have a teacher is you know uh
everyone I had met they seem to be very
more cultural than Islamic or Muslim so
I don't know who to go to for for
knowledge I go to the mosque I hear the
sermon it seems like very emotional
person has a very thick accent I'm
really not interested in this I'm going
to figure this s out all on my own no
Direction no direction I'm I'm going to
read the text whatever I think the text
means doesn't matter what they're saying
in the book that's what the way I'm
going to take how about from family how
much direction did you get from of Papa
and Mama see the thing is you know they
may say a few things here and there but
it's all mixed with Islam and culture
mixed a lot of culture a lot of culture
and I'm very I'm not into culture cuz
for me it's like you know if I don't
understand why this is happening I don't
want to follow something blindly how was
your basic understanding of let's say
the the pure monotheism is some the toi
the fundamental belief system how was
that you know uh I probably understood
that there's one God that that was
pretty clear but anything beyond that
God's attributes and you know even even
the idea of you know belief in angels
and things which are unseen so the
fundamental the core was not there not
really there not really there so I'm
reading these books and I'm getting
interested I'm learning more and I'm
thinking hey this is uh this seems to
make sense I start you know I start
questioning a lot of things so I said
you know what let me start praying CU I
I I think we know I know we should pray
but it doesn't make sense to pray in
Arabic because I don't even know what
I'm saying you know and even if I read
what I'm saying the translation I tried
doing Arabic and then translating in
English I'm like this is just
distracting me let me just start praying
in English so I just started praying in
English seems like it's not a bad idea
it seems like a good idea according to
your logic yeah at least at least you
know for me uh maybe it was a little bit
arrogant at the time but at least I I
understand what I'm saying and all the
people around me maybe my parents my
friends family they're saying all these
formulas but they don't even know what
they're saying right many of them don't
even bother to read the translation so I
feel like hey at least I'm connecting
with God on on a deeper level because I
know what I'm saying so I'm doing this
I'm praying in English uh I'm kind of
praying while I'm driving if I'm getting
late somewhere hey it's better than you
know God should accept for me at least
I'm doing better than what I was doing
before so I'm kind of you know feeling
good about this kind of having some you
know positive healthy pride in Islam
start discussing with my friends come on
you guys got to believe in God look at
the Quran this is you know this is a
miracle start start getting very very
happy about you know being a Muslim and
that's when you know I started you know
almost got to a point where I saw some
things within Hadith that I was reading
and I got and I said you know what some
of these hadiths seem just very strange
they don't seem to make sense to me they
don't they don't seem to be as like
rational as I was seeing in the Quran so
I got to a point where I came across a
website called like the submitters or
something like that they basically say
we don't need to accept these Hadith
Hadith has all this weird stuff going on
just remove this Hadith just go with the
Quran only so I basically got into that
movement or that group you
intellectually on online and I just said
you know let's just focus on the Quran
some Hadith are nice but some are weird
I don't understand them really just
going to stick to the Quran what
happened was I go to college get
accepted to UC Irvine decide to take a
class on philosophy walk in into that
class on philosophy and the professor
starts talking about you know how people
believe in so many strange things today
you know you guys grew up believing in
the tooth fairy you grew up believing in
Santa Claus your parents had tricked you
about these things and I'm like yeah
that's true man my parents you know I
remember the Tooth Fairy I was you know
tricked into believing in the Santa
Claus for a while Halloween all that
stuff and then he said how many of you
still believe in that and everyone's
like come on we don't believe in that
and then he threw the bomb and he goes
how many of you still believe in God and
and that's where I was just like you
know do I raise my hand do I not raise
my hand so is anybody raising their hand
at this moment nobody raises their hand
except one guy who is the weird
Christian Missionary guy who like
everyone hated he's just like he seems
like mentally deficient or something
like that you know so something's wrong
with this guy so I raised my hand I'm
like I do I believe in God and just me
and him and no one else in the class and
I just that was just like a moment for
me I'm like am I like this guy is am I
the only one like what's the pressure is
on now really the pressure is on
sweating really I'm thinking what what
have I've been raised on you know I
thought that everyone believes in God
and I grew up believing like this and
that just questioned my faith and it
just it just it just changed my entire
perception and everything just went
downhill from there I became super
skeptical and I got to a point from
agnosticism not knowing if there's God
to basically sliding down into atheism
and saying you know what God doesn't
exist all this religion is man-made it's
all you know it's it's all just hodg
Podge something of the past we need to
get away from it we got a um a Muslim
who left
Islam and this is a very sad situation
I'm sure many have been affected by this
you actually went through it the story
doesn't stop there we got more when we
come back don't go anywhere Islam says
love all mankind that's why we're
sharing this message because we want the
best for you and we want the best for
all mankind
subscribe right now and enjoy all of the
content that we're going to be putting
out for you thank you peace be with you
back here on the dean show Muslim leaves
Islam I don't see your heads off
yet not everybody come come with a
machete looking for you no they did not
actually because uh now a lot of people
they try to use this now that okay um
you obviously how did your family did
they know now that you had had um turned
away from you know didn't tell I didn't
tell them openly but I told them that
you know what I'm not interested in
praying I'm not interested in going to
the Moss don't even ask me to go on
Friday anymore it's obvious now it's
pretty obvious that this this guy is far
from the from the religion you know yeah
now what happens okay that's the moment
you go in you were carrying B you know
the hadif on your back but I asked you
how was uh really your core
understanding was kind of very weak
didn't have a bright teacher you walk
into this philosophy class you come in
you know to a gun fight with a you know
a pencil and and what what after that
you left the class really um just
disenfranchise you're um lost now lost
your your your faith is questioned and
everything's going out the window yep
and then I started you know then that
that's when I kind of you know got into
a group of friends where I probably
wouldn't have considered them when I was
Muslim so I started getting into this
group of friends that are telling me you
know go let's go to nightclubs let's go
to Raves uh let's just party let's have
fun that seems fun it's it seems fun at
the time opens up now that's it every
now you know the the shackles are coming
off and you know when you're a freshman
in college it's like you're just dying
to get out of you know the the the con
the confines of your home your parents
have always been kind of holding you
back saying it's for your own good now
now I'm in the dorms in college now I
have you know some level of Freedom even
though my parents are trying to you know
spy on me from time to time is this guy
you know is he crazy is he doing drugs
what's going on so I started having fun
fun and I get I get uh or suppos it fun
you know and I get into the wrong group
start going to these clubs start going
to Raves um and kind of strange you know
like I'm not really believing but I have
like these I kind of sometimes I feel
like you know should I should I consider
praying should I not consider praying
there's still some doubts going on
there's there's there's doubts about not
being Muslim as well uh like the way
that there were doubts about being
Muslim so I'm kind of going in down this
road and I get into street racing with
with the cars basically so fast and
furious kind of like Fast and Furious
basically inspired by all these movies
inspired by what what's going around in
my area so I get with this group and we
start street racing and we just it's
it's a very dangerous thing I in
retrospect I tell people you don't
realize what you're doing you know one
one mistake you you know a pedestrian
walking down the street you could just
hit someone kill someone and you don't
even feel it it's like a video game
almost in front of you you know so I
start street racing um and that's going
on for a while and one day I just get
really upset with my parents I get upset
with uh just everything I'm upset with
life I'm upset with the world and I lost
a lot of money that my parents had given
me in the stock market that day it was a
Friday the stock market crashes I lose a
ton of money I'm stressed out I'm mad at
my parents I got my did you say you're
kind of a spoiled rich kid kind of a
spoiled rich kid that's just the reality
you know I'm driving Al IS300 the same
month that it came out you know was it
was a big deal when it came out so
that's pretty much what's happening so
I'm really upset and I decide I'm
running away from home I've I've had it
now I need my absolute freedom I don't
even want to come home on the weekends
anymore I'm out of here so I I get my
stuff I have money in my bank account so
my parents had given me everything's
ready ready to go jump in the car run
away from home never coming back again
on my way I'm driving from Orange County
down to San Diego it's kind of a windy
road all of a sudden Nissan 300ZX pulls
up twin turbo tries to race me and I'm
in a bad mood I'm really upset listening
to rock music just you know fueling more
anger and I decide you know what that's
it man I'm going to race this guy so we
race and we're going really really fast
and my car spins out of control
literally does a uturn on the freeway at
a very very fast speed we'll just leave
it at that um and and four car accident
five car accident something like that um
I don't get injured the car is total I
walk out perfectly fine people start
telling me that you know what God saved
you for a reason I'm like yeah God
whatever you know so I started thinking
about it in the back of my mind and then
when the police came to me and said you
know what you're going to jail that's
when I started just freaking out all my
Pleasures are going to be gone all my
enjoyment all my fun it's all going to
be done what do I do so so I start
thinking you know what maybe it's time
to make some change in my life maybe I
need to take life a little bit more
seriously so my friends come back to me
it's like come on let's go let's just go
to the Rave man just come back don't
worry don't let one car accident you
know get you down we're going to go back
into the same lifestyle that we had you
can always count on those uh good
friends right exactly exactly you know
so there's that that whispering coming
you know they're trying to come to my
room and everything and I just decided I
don't want to see you guys I just need
to figure things out for myself what's
going on and that's when I decided you
know what after a while of struggling I
said you know what there's no one else
to turn to so when you have no one else
to turn to and you don't even know what
to do that's when I started praying and
I said you know what God I don't know if
you exist I don't even know if I really
believe in you or not but if you exist
show me that you exist and show me show
me why I'm here if there's a purpose in
life show me that purpose and before I I
had asked that probably before but I
never put any effort into it so this
time what was different is there's more
sincerity because I'm saying and I'm
going to put the effort in to find you
so I'm going to search I don't know
where to search I don't know what to do
but I'm going to put in my effort you
send me something you throw me a little
something so I can you know I can find
you so that's when I started saying you
know what I don't want to do this I I'm
not playing anymore I'm going to be
serious about life until I try to figure
this out I start going to the library I
start reading books on philosophy to
overcome some of the things that I
learned in philosophy class
and reading books on Islam reading books
on Christianity so I started reading
different religions reading more in
detail about Islam reading about
philosophy and reading all that kind of
you know helped me start to address some
of the questions that I used to have but
I never got good answers to but how is
your heart at this moment it's different
than it was before because you have a
desire to want to know yes instead of
covering the truth exactly you're open
I'm I'm open now and and now I'm
focusing because you know what it's not
about the world Pleasures anymore now
it's not about you know I'm not going to
sit there and say I'll read one line or
if that doesn't make sense I'm just
going to go go to a rave and just you
know just just just get rid of it that's
the difference you know so now the
difference is I'm not going to waste my
time I'm going to give as much as I can
in my life to focus on what what needs
to get done and you had read some of the
top atheist books you were kind of well
where was your atheist now I mean it was
seemed like he was abandoning you was it
uh yeah I mean So what had happened I
had bought a book about you know
critiques of God the the strongest
arguments against God and long time ago
I had bought it and I'm like I can AR I
can respond to all this so I'm like okay
let me go when I was when I was still a
Muslim I'm like you know what I'm going
to show them that all this is wrong and
when I was reading it like oh man this
sounds very intellectual and very
rational I go to the Moss for Friday
prayer the guy seems very emotional
seems to be getting upset I said yeah
this seems like I don't I don't have any
response to it right now I still got
that book on my shelf but now I'm not
just comparing these things for 10
minutes and then going and having fun
now I'm going to sit all day with this
book and I'm going to go all day and I'm
going to look at what Islam says if
there's any answers about it I'm really
going to sit there and reflect I'm going
to you know keep on asking God for
guidance and that makes a world of
difference when you put some real effort
into it and you have real like sincerity
and desire to actually invest time and
effort into it that's I think what
really really you know helped me that's
how that's how God helped me was that
the innate nature you know about that
Oxford study with the 52 Plus
um uh the anthropology department in
Oxford it did the study saying that
innate that belief is innate innate
within people people was so was it
coming out now was the god hot spot in
your brain was that now coming out in
your from your heart from your
Consciousness exactly what happens it
was covered up and it's it get covered
up by our desires by our pleasures and
just running after these things now that
I'm like you know what this is not my
number one priority in life I'm not
going to run after just going eating in
fancy restaurants and just going to go
do and have fun and all that now some of
these layers start coming off say I'm
willing to be open now now I'm really
going to go and analyze and that that
natural disposition starts coming back
this is uh really really interesting
they've actually done uh documentaries
of of Muslims supposed Muslims who
leaving Islam and they're P of the
struggles so I'm sure you know those who
are sincere uh they also can truly
benefit because you were there and now
the story is not over we got more to
share here on the dean show don't go
anywhere Islam says love all mankind
that's why we're sharing this message
because we want the best for you and we
want the best for all
mankind subscribe right now and enjoy
all of the content that we're going to
be putting out for you thank you peace
be with you asalam Alum back here on the
dean show with Mustafa sh Mustafa now do
we see this happening more and more that
because you're born in a family you
don't have that proper direction good
examples from let's say from your family
teaching you properly and you don't have
um that guidance from a young age and
now you end up kind of drifting off the
whole world opens up you start going to
the Raves to the nightclubs culture a
lot of culture strange things associated
with Islam they have nothing to do with
Islam and now you have people leaving
right it's very common it's very very
common and I encounter it on a regular
basis on a regular basis so like you
know it's it's it's not that I'm alone
almost everywhere I go I see people who
literally that's exactly how I was and I
see them asking the same kind of
questions and some of them are
interested in having a further
discussion and others they just they
just go away from it so you know I I can
see them going down the same path and I
don't know if someone had asked me back
in the day that you know what hey why
don't you have a conversation or
something like that I might have ran
away as well I don't know what would
happen to me so I I can relate I can
relate to people and I can almost see
exactly what they're going through I'm
not the only one who who went through
this but now now you came back not just
an average Muslim I mean you went you
the you're actually an Imam at a a
Masjid spiritual leader you you run the
College of Islamic Studies I mean how
can someone before they get in a train
wreck car wreck maybe die at an
Afterparty who knows cuz death is a
reality and come at any time before they
go through all this drama now maybe end
up no nowhere you actually you ended up
somewhere you know figuring out the
purpose of life why you've been created
you know on on a path of goodness how
can someone what let's derive some good
from this story now so people don't make
the same mistake they can avoid all
those uh you know pitfalls yeah I mean I
I tell people you know when I tell them
my story you know I don't share it that
often but when I tell them my story they
almost some people come up to me and
they say you know I wish I had a similar
story so that I could change I said no
this you you don't want this story you
don't want a near-death experience you
you don't cuz you might actually die
before you change and you don't need to
have an experience like this you don't
need to get into a car accident to
change this is a way you know some
people they have this and they don't
change many people go through something
similar and they just go right back into
the same life that they went into so
there's no guarantee and you don't need
this type of experience to change if you
have a willingness you have a sincerity
you have a desire that you know what you
you want to you want to look into this
more seriously you realize that you know
what it's worth just inves investigating
and finding out you know what the truth
is why we've been created in the first
place so that you can figure out that
you know what if there's an after life
if God is going to hold us accountable
if this is really a test what can I do
to prepare for that test to make sure
that I pass it you know so people can
wake up without these experiences and
what my advice to them would basically
be is take life a little bit more
seriously you know there's a lot of
distractions there's a lot of fun in
games there's going to be those friends
who come they try to grab you and say
come on let's just go have fun you know
you start you attend a class you maybe
you uh you you benefit from a Friday
sermon you watch a a YouTube video and
you're kind of like yeah you know I'm G
to I'm G to focus on this I'm going to
be interested in this and then all of a
sudden someone goes forget all that
let's just go watch a movie and you just
forget all of it uh this is this is
something that we should be careful
about we really need to reflect upon
yeah what can we do how can we change
ourselves and the first step in changing
yourself is with knowledge actually
learning properly what is the religion
of Islam
what is the ultimate meaning behind
these things what is the meaning behind
these rituals why are we doing these
things and go beyond all that and not
get caught up into all these small
things over here what if someone says
look you had the knowledge you had
bukari books on your back and you still
left what do you say the thing is there
was no foundation and the key is to have
a good Islamic Foundation because what a
foundation does it basically it
contextualizes everything I got bukari
books in front of me but I don't know
how to interpret these statements that
are in there I don't even know exactly
who is I don't know when he wrote this
book I don't know how we know that the
prophet P actually said these things so
I just heard that this is authentic but
I don't have a deep Foundation I don't
know how to interpret the Quran if I
read it I don't understand you know what
does this pronoun refer to us does it
refer to something else who's this
talking about I it's it talks about you
know the Battle of bad it says when the
incident happened at bad what is but but
if you don't have a context you don't
know any of these things right so it's
very important to have a context and to
have a very wide understanding like a
overview of what Islam is so you
everything you read it kind of fits into
like a puzzle and you see the entire
thing in front of you with that context
you understand Islam properly what if
someone says we have atheist same
situation maybe his friend got him to
watch and he says come on all you
religious PE people I got my Christian
friend he said you know he used to drink
do drugs rap party same thing but he saw
Jesus in the dream now and he's a born
again what's the difference right the
the difference is that you need you know
people say well I had some personal
experience or something like that that
could be a true experience it can be a
false experience but there's got to be a
way if there is a God and if you know if
there's a real purpose in life there's
got to be an objective way of us being
able to figure out what the truth is and
my response to him would be you look
around the world you look at your own
body you look at everything out there
and you say you know what who created
all these things you start from the idea
that there's a Creator you start from
the idea that all of this didn't happen
by random chance the probability of it
coming together and it happening is not
very is not very strong at all it's it's
you really got to have a leap of faith
to believe in something like that that
all of this is just a product of chance
once you establish belief in the Creator
and that there is a God now you need to
learn about that God learn something
about him and that's when you go and you
look at the different scriptures look at
the different religions and look at the
core of what are these religions
actually teaching and when you come to
Islam you're going to find that it has
that pristine message it has that
message which basically says that
there's only one God you should worship
that one God and that God when he
created people he didn't just leave them
in darkness to just kind of figure out
things on their own have fun maybe some
of them will take it seriously and he
didn't leave it up to people to kind of
wait to have some kind of spiritual
experience where they're going to you
know figure out on their own this is
what God wants me to do or he's
communicating directly he sent us
guidance and the guidance is in people
who received revelation we can
objectively evaluate that Revelation
read the Quran see if this makes sense
do the teachings make sense we can read
the life of the Prophet Muhammad peace
be upon him we can see if he did he have
an ulterior motive could he have been a
liar does he look like someone who would
have made up something like this and
undergo all the difficulties that he's
coming with so when we use our minds we
use our intellects and our hearts are
also you know open to this we will
arrive at the reality and the conclusion
that you know what this is something
that makes sense and that's really what
a lot of people say when they when they
when they look at Islam they come from
other religions other backgrounds and
they're like none of this really made
sense when you study Islam in a proper
way within its proper context the thing
that people always say it just makes
sense it just makes sense sense it just
makes sense and tell us uh we're out of
time and short I've I've really
benefited from the College of Islamic
Studies uh tell us a little bit in short
about this and how people can go ahead
this this is a great place to start also
now yes so I mean the of Islamic Studies
is really it's a program where people
can attend live or they can actually
take classes online and this is designed
we have 18 or 19 different classes it's
designed to give you that foundation in
Islam so that you don't get lost like I
did so that you understand what the
context is and it prioritizes what
Islamic Studies are many people they
just pick up the Quran start reading or
they pick up a Hadith book start reading
but they don't have any context behind
that and it's very important to have a
context you know beyond all that so I
would recommend everyone check out our
website which is college islam.com you
can enroll in classes you can enroll
online anywhere you are any any place
around the world we have students in
different countries around the world I
recommend that people at least try a
class and I guarantee you that you're
going to benefit and you're going to see
Islam In a Different Light beautiful
thank you so much thank you very
much peace be with you peace be with you
as well Islam says love all mankind
that's why we're sharing this message
because we want the the best for you and
we want the best for all mankind we'll
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