Start by praising Allah.
We seek his help and his forgiveness.
We seek refuge with Allah from the evil
of our own souls and from our bad deeds.
And whomsoever Allah guides, no one can
lead astray. And who Allah leaves
astray, surely no one can guide.
I bear witness there's no diety worthy
of worship except Allah who is one who
has no partners, no father, no son. I
bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu
alaihi wasallam is his slave and his
messenger.
It's hard to follow up a beautiful talk
like that. My brother Abu Assama
from not too far from me in London.
stays in Birmingham. Mashallah.
I want to thank the organizers
for inviting me here to speak to you
today and to share my story and my
journey to Islam. It's my first visit to
Canada.
So, I'll go back and share my story.
The truth is often people ask me like,
"What made you convert to Islam? What
was the journey like? the former rapper
who became a Muslim and now he stands on
the stage and everything's fine and a
lot of youngsters inbox me on the
internet and say, "Oh, how can I become
like you? What was your journey? How did
you come away from etc and stuff you
done before?" The truth is the journey
is still going on now.
The journey is continuing and will
continue until I get to the grave. For
me, it really feels like my journey
started that day I took my shahada in
2002. Cuz
as you know, Allah tests those who he
loves.
And Shayan made that vow to attack the
believers, those on the straight path
from left and right, above and below.
So the journey continues for all of us.
Alhamdulillah brother was talking about
our role model
beautiful role model Muhammad sallallahu
alaihi wasallam somebody I knew nothing
about when I was growing up
my early years of my life before I was a
Muslim without having this role model
Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam
I feel like I was lost in this world
completely completely lost, not knowing
what you're living for.
Why are you here? Where did you come
from? Where did you go after you die? I
was lost.
My mother didn't know what she was
living for either. So, she was lost and
she couldn't teach me. My father doesn't
know what he was living for either, so
he was lost and he couldn't teach me.
None of them could be my true guider.
No, none of them could give me guidance
because they needed guidance theirel.
So, we were all lost, all in search of
happiness,
but looking for happiness in the wrong
areas.
When you're young, you see this world as
like a playground.
And
you just want to have fun by doing fun
things and playing games. This is what
you find. This is what makes you happy.
And you just want to have fun.
For me,
living in a house with Jamaican parents,
my father left my mom when I was 4 years
old on an estate which was governed by
the council which was for all the poor
people. Growing up broke, not with much
money.
I felt like in order for me to find this
happiness and my mom to find this
happiness was by having money, by having
wealth.
You know, when every day your mom comes
home from work and she's slamming the
cupboards, she's sad, she's upset
because the lack of wealth, the lack of
money, it affects you as a young man.
When the door knocks and you go to
answer the door and your mom calls you,
"Stop." No, no, don't answer the door.
Come hide. And you're hiding behind this
sofa and you're looking at your mom
like, "Why are we hiding for? Why? Why
can't I answer the door?" No, we owe
that man money,
so we got to hide. So, we're waiting
there. But, alhamdulillah, mom used to
turn these things into a game and make
him seem fun. But, as I got older, the
reality hit me what was really going on
and what we was really going through.
The struggle. Now, I understand why when
I used to turn and look at my mom and
say, "I want new trainers. People will
respect me more if I have Nike trainers.
I want that respect from my friends. And
mom used to turn and say no. Now I
understand why she used to say no. So as
a youngster, you just feel like why are
we so broke? Why are we so poor? Why do
I have to go next door to my neighbor's
house with a container and say hi Miss
Rose? My mom said have you got any
juice, please? Or my mom said, "Have you
got any flour?" Or my mom said, "Have
you got any sugar?" Why can't I just go
to the shop with money and just buy
some? Cuz of the problem with money. And
mom used to drink a lot. and these
things because we try to escape the
reality and we don't want to think like
Malcolm X says we need to learn how to
think. We don't want to think because
when we think too much it's like the
reality kicks in. So we try and escape
the reality by drinking and smoking etc.
And I just remember being a youngster
just thinking if we got money if we have
money everything will be okay. And my
mom
used to look at me when I was like 11
years old, 12 years old, and say,
"You're the man of the house. You're the
man of the house. You have to make it
for us, son. Your dad's gone now. It's
all about you." Cuz it was me, my mom,
and my older sister said, "You're the
man of the house."
And our escape from this problem was
music. I remember we used to play music
on a Sunday while mom's cleaning up the
house. And this was the only time when
we wasn't sad. It's like the music used
to make us feel happy and make us forget
our problems. I remember just listening
to that music and my mom will be singing
along, dancing to the reggae. I know it
was my job to do the polishing, my
sister's job to do the hoovering and it
was just like love was in the house.
Music was the escape.
And talking about role models, obviously
I didn't have one.
And like I said, I didn't know Muhammad
sallallahu alaihi wasallam existed. I
didn't know any Muslims.
So what we do is we tend to as
youngsters take choose our role models
from the people around us.
Like every single one of us is a
shepherd and each shepherd is
responsible for his flock. And believe
me, there's somebody who looks up to
you. Whether it's someone in your school
and you're only young, there's someone
in your school who looks up to you or
someone in your area who looks up to
you. And what I used to do is I used to
take the people in my area as my role
models. the people who look like they
had the best lives. And it was the
criminals, the ones who was involved in
crime
as they're the ones who had money.
They're the ones who could afford a nice
car and jewelry and women used to show
them so much attention because of the
assets and the materials they have. So I
thought I want to be like them cuz I
want that attention. That attention will
make me happy and that will make my life
complete. And if I didn't pick the role
models from the people around me, it
will be the people I see on the
television. Like the shik said, we're
victims of the media.
And what I used to watch on TV was like
MTV, the music channels.
These music stars look like they had the
best life to me. They didn't have the
problems we had. They didn't struggle
like we did. Their trainers, everything
just always looks so fresh and so new in
their music videos. Everything looked so
crisp and complete and their houses look
so big and they were always smiling and
there was always women surrounding them.
This is how I wanted to live. I remember
I used to have my role models was people
like Jay-Z and Nars. Come on, you're
young and you're looking at these rap
stars on TV and they're driving sports
cars looking at each other. I remember
Jay-Z and Jermaine Depri in this video
and he's going, "Yeah, I got Ferrari and
Jaguars switching four lanes, top down,
screaming out, money ain't a thing."
Hey, and I'm looking at it with my
little young eyes just thinking, "Wow,
Ferraris, Jaguars,
money ain't a thing. One day I'm going
to rap. I'm going to make money like
that. Buy mom a big house.
Everything's going to be fine."
So, this is what I got into. So I got
into music and I was living the dream,
fulfilling a dream and things were going
well for me.
However, when I got to about 17, 18, I
realized that no matter although I don't
have the problems I used to have when I
was young and money's coming in now, I
still got problems.
And the reality hits.
There comes a stage in your life where
an event takes place. Whether it's a
loss, it could be an argument, it could
be something big or something small. But
we all go through this event in our
lives where the reality hits us and we
start to question our existence
whether we're born Muslim or non-Muslim
etc. The first stage in our life was
ignorance not knowing and then that
event takes place and the next stage is
exploring questioning why am I here?
What is this really about? And that's
when I realized even the rap stars I was
looking up to, they didn't even know
what they was living for either. That
same rapper Jay-Z was talking about
Ferraris and Jaguars, switching four
lanes, top down, money ain't a thing.
Hey, he had another song saying, "This
can't be life. This can't be right.
There's got to be more. This can't be
life." Questioning life.
So, the reality is these people ain't
even happy and content. They don't even
know what they're living for.
And I remember
this event took place in my life that
made me start to question and explore
when I was 19 years old. I remember I
was in the studio smoking, video games,
music playing, writing lyrics, the
things that we as youngsters think we do
to enjoy ourselves. We was doing this
and a Muslim came into the room
and this Muslim come in and he's like,
"Turn down the music 5 minutes, please."
Cuz his younger brother is someone who I
used to own this studio with. So we come
in and he said to his younger brother,
"Turn down the music 5 minutes, please,
please." And he left the room. I was
thinking, "Wo, okay." He came back few
hours later, "Turn down the music 5
minutes, please." Back then I didn't
know what he was doing, but now I know
what he was doing.
Turns out one day he come into the room
and he just wanted to speak with us. He
just wanted to share the knowledge that
was in his head with us.
And because he saw us as youngsters like
lost how he was before he found this
perfection, this perfect religion that
he had found. So he came in the room and
he was talking to us and I remember I
was watching an awards show, a music
awards show and a group that lived not
far from us just won an award and I
remember they go up and they were like
and the award goes to and they said the
group's name and they came out of the
crowd. They went up on the stage. They
had all this jewelry and they had drink
champagne and they were like thank you
for this reward. I just want to thank my
area and thank this one and they got
their award and we was watching it
jealous like thinking one day we need to
work hard this year so that next year we
can get that award
and I remember he made me feel like is
that what you're preparing yourself for?
you're going to work really hard so that
next year you can get that award. And
he's like, he broke it down for me like,
well, what he's doing is
he's working really hard for a bigger
award than that.
I remember he asked one of us, what is
the purpose of your life? Is this what
your life is about? What is the purpose
of your life? And imagine you're a young
boy and you're trying to answer this
question like, "What is the purpose of
life?" The young boy is sitting there
like, "My purpose of life?" Uh,
I don't know. And this boy is confident.
He usually speaks with confidence and
knows the answer to everything. So, what
is the purpose of your life? I don't
know, like just to live life, just be
good to your family. I don't know. He
said, "Where do you come from? Why are
you here? And where are you going after
you die?" I'm thinking, I come from my
mom and my dad. I'm here to live and
after I die, I'll be in the grave. It
will be black. You won't even know what
happens. I remember always saying that I
don't care about death cuz you won't
know. You'll just be dead. just like it
was before you was born. It will be back
like that again.
However, this is not the case.
So,
he's explained you come from a creator,
a god, creator of the worlds. This is
where we come from. And I believed in
God. Anyone with common sense and an
open mind that just looks outside or
looks at the human body would know there
is a God. So, I always believed in God
anyway. So he said, "You're here to
impress that God, to live a a life that
is pleasing to that God.
Cuz after you die, you're going to
return to that God. And you're going to
be judged on everything you done while
you was here. What you done in public,
what you done in private, in secret.
Everything you do while you're here is
being taken down, being noted down, and
you're going to be judged. So what
you've got to do while you're here is
make sure you do all the things that are
pleasing to that God and that that God
will be impressed by so that after you
die and you return to him, you can be
awarded.
So instead of working hard for that
music show award that next year they
call out your name, you should work hard
so that you get a big award on that big
day when it won't just be a few thousand
people watching on TV, but it'll be the
whole of mankind. Bob Marley, Elvis
Presley, the whole of mankind will be
there. Imagine your name getting called
out on that day. Come up for your reward
today. So this is was something more
sense to work for and starting to
understand my purpose in life. For the
first time, it's like I got that piece
of the puzzle to answer questions like
why are we here? Cuz it never made sense
before. We just live and die. Is that
it? So I started to realize, wait there,
there is a purpose. this makes sense.
So I wanted to go to the bookshop with
him and read more books, more literature
so I could have the sort of mind that he
had. I wanted to go back to my area and
start asking all the young kids, yo,
what is your purpose of life? Where'd
you come from? Why are you here? Where
you going? I wanted to like this seemed
like very focused.
I went to the bookshop and I said, "What
what book should I buy? The Quran." He
said, "No, this is too much for you. The
Quran, try this book, The Truth for the
Life of This World by Har Yaha.
So I took this book and the man said to
me, "Now you're taking these steps
towards Islam, towards Allah. Allah is
going to come running to you." I didn't
know what he meant. I'll be honest. But
over them days, I started to realize
what he meant. The way Allah came into
my life from every angle. And before I
had no idea what Islam was. I mean, if
when I was in school, if the teacher
picked me out, my name before I was a
Muslim was Ashley Chin. And I'm still
addressed by this name, Ashley. But if
if the teacher said, "Ashley,
tell us what do you know about Islam?"
I'm being honest. I would have said, "Is
that a country near Pakistan?"
I didn't have no knowledge on Islam.
So now Islam was coming to me from every
angle and I started to find out what it
was. And it was upon finding out what a
Muslim is that made me think I want to
take my shahada and become a Muslim. I
didn't need no scientific facts. I
didn't need no more da that one day in
the room that was it. I didn't need
loads of Muslims to take me to the
mosque and to show me around. I didn't
need loads of Muslims to talk to me and
give me loads of different books. It was
one translation
of what a Muslim is. One who surrenders
theirself to Allah.
Who is Allah? Lies the creator of the
worlds. One who surrenders theirel to
the creator of the worlds. One who
submits to God's will. It was upon
understanding that's what a Muslim is. I
thought, well, if that's what a Muslim
is, then everyone has to be a Muslim.
What choice do we have?
If God created the heavens and the
earth, then everyone has to submit to
God. We don't have no choice in this
matter. It's not a decision we can think
about and go, I'm not sure if I want to
be a Muslim or not.
It's as simple as my mom created me and
when I'm young and my mom used to call
me and tell me to do something like go
next door and ask to borrow some sugar.
I didn't want to go. I would much rather
stay in my room and play my computer.
But if mom tells me to go next door and
ask to borrow sugar, then I'm going to
listen to mom cuz that's mom and that's
normal. And mom made me. I came from
her. She made me. So I have to do what
she tells me to do and that's normality.
Well, if God made my mom and made
everything in this dunya and everything
in this world, Allah the creator, then I
have to do what he tells me to do. I
don't feel like I have any option. It
should be normal.
However,
I was scared to become a Muslim
because when I started speaking about my
decision to Muslims,
the Muslims scared me.
And this is why it's important that we
know we have the best of role models,
Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam, and
we learn and understand his character
and we try and adopt it. Cuz the Muslims
scared me. Like he's like the shirt was
saying, if you came to them too harsh,
they would have all ran away. Well, I
started running away when everyone was
just telling me the rules. Well, you
want to become a Muslim. You know, all
this music, this studio, you can't do
that no more. And you know, all this
stuff that you're doing to make money,
you can't do that no more. And you know,
nightclubs, you can't do that no more.
I'm saying, well, if I only go out, I
won't drink. No, no, no, no. It doesn't
matter. What if I only go out with my
friends to celebrate their birthday? No,
no, no. No birthdays no more. Everything
is just not allowed no more.
Furthermore, you can't even mix with the
opposite sex no more. You can't even eat
that McDonald's at the top of the road
no more. Everything has to change. I was
scared. This was too early to tell me
all these rules. I said, the truth is I
felt like if I become a Muslim now, I'll
be the worst Muslim cuz there's no way I
could do all of that. So, I don't want
to be the worst Muslim. So, maybe I'll
wait until I'm 40 years old. When I've
lived my life, I've done what I need to
do. I'll become a Muslim then.
And this is a problem we have as
youngsters.
We delay things. We don't hasten towards
good deeds. We delay it. We think after
we plan as if we've been promised a
certain amount of time. So many people
say things like after university I'm
going to do this. After I get married,
then I'm going to cover. After I do
this, then I'm going to that. After
this. These days are not promised to us.
We need to be the youth. The one who
practices Islam from a young age. The
one who hastens towards good deeds.
doesn't find no time to delay. It
hastens towards good deeds.
So anyway, it was the fear of death of
dying not in the state of Islam that
made me speed up my decision.
People around me was dying. I remember
having a conversation with someone in a
barber shop
and he was telling me about someone who
died.
He said, "Our friend from the other area
died not long ago." I couldn't believe
the news.
He said I was speaking to him just 2
days before he died and two days later I
found out he was dead. Imagine that. He
said that's like me and you speaking now
and 2 days later you find out I'm dead.
Life is too short. He says I'm a good
singer. Take my number. Bring me to the
studio with you. I want to make things
happen. Life is too short. I want to
come studio with you. I want to start
singing. I want to do this. I want to do
that. I want to have money like this by
next year. And he picked a newspaper up
and he said, "Look, look at this new
car." There was some new cars in the
newspaper. We need to have this, too.
Take my number. Call me. Life is too
short. We have to get things going. I
got plans.
Couple days later, I went to my studio.
I was about to tell them the guy who I
saw, he's a good singer and he wants to
come to the studio and make some tracks.
But the mood in the studio is very
quiet.
No one wasn't speaking. So I said,
"What's wrong? Why isn't no one
speaking? What's the matter?" He said,
"One of the rappers in my team said to
me, "Have you not heard? Such and such
got shot in the head today in a barberh
shop.
This is the same guy I was about to tell
them about." I'm thinking to myself, I
couldn't even say it, but I was speaking
to him two days ago, and he actually
said to me, "Imagine you heard I died
two days time."
and I heard he died.
Death comes unexpectedly with no
warning. And this is what scared me. I
remember having a dream that I got shot
myself. And when you grow up in a
certain environment, people are getting
killed so often. I remember thinking,
"I'm going to die soon." And in this
dream, I was telling the paramedics,
"Take me to the hospital." They were
saying, "We got to go to the hospital.
Stop trying to get up." But I kept
trying to get up and they were pushing
me back down, saying, "We'll be at the
hospital soon." I said, "No, no, no. I
need to go. I need to go to the
brother's house. I don't care if I die
as long as I die a Muslim. I need to
become a Muslim before I die. There's no
way I can die without being a Muslim
first. And it was that fear when I woke
up from this dream. I thought it was so
real. And when I woke up, I was all hot.
You know, you get all hot and emotional
and sweating and you think it was so
real. And I woke up and I was like, "Ah,
it wasn't real. Is this a dream?" But I
took the signs from it and I thought, "I
need to go and see the brother and tell
him about this and tell him I want to
take my shahada."
And that's what this life is like when
we're in it now. Shayan makes us
distracted with this world, with this
dunya. And we get so excited and so
emotional and we think everything
matters and everything's got to be
perfect. And we think of this big fairy
tale and how it's got to be in this
life, in this world.
But then we're going to die.
And when we go to the grave and the
angels ask us how long was we here in
this life, we say a day or part of a day
and that's it. This life is nothing. So
it was upon the understanding that this
life is nothing
doesn't matter it's nothing that I made
the decision do you know what it doesn't
really matter if I achieve my dreams and
fulfill all my goals I just all that
matters is that I die in a state of
submission I'm ready to take my shahada
now and start the struggle the battle I
know it's not going to be easy but I'm
ready to start the battle as long as I
die trying so I told him let's go and he
took me to the brother's house to take
shahada cuz the mosque was closed
And when I got there, the first thing I
remember it was, we're sitting on the
floor. I thought, "Wow, Muslims are
broke. They don't have no money.
This is going to be a whole new
experience for me." Everyone was sitting
on the floor and next thing I noticed,
they said, "You ready to eat some food?"
I said, "Yeah, let's I could eat. Yeah,
no problem. I wanted to be polite. Let's
eat." He brought out a big tray of food.
He put on the floor and everyone just
was ready to start eating but all the
food was on one tray and the man beside
me was like come on brother eat eat eat
eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat I just
remember thinking where's my plate like
how am I going to eat from this big what
am I going to do share with you I don't
even know you
and this guy beside me he's eating with
his hands and he's like whole hands in
the plate and then he's putting his
whole hand back in the plate so I was
thinking whoa whoa this is barbaric I
can't share
I can't share like this surely
However,
the longer we continue to eat, it's like
I I noticed a togetherness that we had
and a closeness. We're all so close
around this tray. Our heads are just
like this close to each other and we're
just tucking into this meal.
But the truth is, this is a closeness
I'm sharing with people I just met that
I never shared with my friends that I
had for 15, 16 years.
I just moved to Kuwait last year and I
remember nearly every day I was eating
with different families in Kuwait and I
got emotional once. I just started
thinking to myself, I don't remember
ever eating with my own family.
But I'm always eating with these
people's families and look how close the
families are. You see, Islam
didn't teach me like just how to pray or
how to say salalamlaykum. taught me like
so much like a family unit. How to deal
with your family,
how to deal with your neighbors, the
manners, the character of the human
being,
your principles,
you have to live by principles, your
organization,
all these sort of things. Cuz I felt
like when I was growing up, we didn't
have no organization, no principles, no
togetherness.
So we ate this food and then after we
finished eating I remember I got up, I
took my shahada and I saw the look in
their faces and it was just like wow.
And the brothers came to me and they was
hugging me and in London men never hug
men. So this was just a whole new
experience hugging in men, kisses on the
cheek. It was just it was beautiful to
be honest. I felt love and the journey
started after that. On the way home, the
brother said, "Do you feel different?" I
said, "Yeah, I feel different." I didn't
want to tell my mom I took my shahada.
I was shy. I was nervous. And the
brother said, "Don't don't feel that you
have to because they're going to ask you
so much questions. Why are you a Muslim?
Are you a Muslim? What the Muslims think
of this? Why do Muslims cut off arms?
Why the Muslim women wear cover like
that? Why the Muslims allowed to have 10
wives? Why Muslims?" And you're not
going to know the answer and how to
answer them. So they're going to
question you so much till you question
yourself and you're going to think maybe
I made a bad decision. So keep it
secret. So keeping it secret, I was shy
and I remember praying. I didn't even
want to pray in my house. I was scared
my mom was going to call me while I'm
praying. And my mom's going to call me
and call me cuz she likes to call me to
do things. A lot of moms are like this.
And I'll be praying. I won't be able to
answer. So them eventually mom will come
upstairs and look at me standing there
like this and think what is he doing?
and she'd put her hand in front of me
pushing me and I just be like, I can't
stop praying. I can't stop. So, I didn't
want to pray. I used to wait till mom
goes out, but mom hardly ever goes out.
If she needed something, she told me to
go get it. So, I had to pray in the
bathroom. I thought, "Yeah, I go in the
toilet. Mom will think I'm on the
toilet. I pray there. She'll never call
me when I'm in the bathroom." And this
is why it's important to seek knowledge.
And when I took my shahada, the brother
said to me, there's conditions of the
shahada. And a often born Muslims say to
me, I envy you reverts or converts. You
take this religion so seriously and you
know we was born with it and it's like
we don't cherish it and we don't value
it. I understand this to an extent but I
also have sympathy for the born Muslims
that you also were born in ignorance and
didn't know much and it was that stage
in your life where you kind of like
renewed your faith.
But it was because when I took my
shahada as a revert, you get told these
conditions of your shahada. Conditions
is like seek knowledge, be certain,
accept the knowledge you're taking.
Submission, submit fully. There were
seven. I remember the last one the
brother said to me was
love what Allah loves and hate what
Allah hates.
So the first one being seek knowledge. I
had to go back to those classes every
week. And I remember the first class a
man was talking about the prayer and it
make sure that the place of prayer is
clean and that you're facing the right
direction and that you're not eating and
that you're in the proper clothing and
that you're not praying in the forbidden
places like the graveyard or the toilet.
And I was sitting there thinking, "Wow,
that's a whole week's worth of prayers
just invalid."
But this is the importance. You can't
compare the knowledgeable with the
unnowledgeable. So this is why it's
important when you see someone doing
wrong, you don't just drill down their
throat.
Look what you're doing wrong. You're not
allowed to do this. You can't compare
the knowledgeable with the
unnowledgeable. You know the they
learned faith first and then they
learned the then the commands came. So
it's better to build up the faith. So by
seeking knowledge, the faith was
building up and the more the faith build
up is the more I understood. And with
understanding then you feel like it was
easier to follow the rules. So this was
like the system cuz when you under the
more you understand this life and the
value of this life it was easier to
follow the rules. And I remember making
a decision that the UK the west it's
like I was allowing the fitness in my
heart. All the things I desired like
music and everything I wanted everything
I grew up around was entering my heart.
It was fna. So I had to leave and I got
a teacher and the teacher was Egyptian
and he said to me, "Why don't you go to
Egypt?" So I went to Egypt when I was 21
by myself to study there and this was a
whole new experience and it was upon my
return from Egypt
that before it was hard for me to leave
music. I'll be honest, I couldn't stop.
But in Egypt and even in cuz in UK the
music's everywhere. I go in a barber
shop, new music's playing. I go in a
food shop, new music's playing. You get
in your friend's car, new music's
playing. So, I kind of needed to get it
out of my system cuz I loved music. My
dad was a musician, my mom was a singer,
my granddad plays a saxophone, my sister
was a DJ. I come from a full music
household. So, I left. I went to Egypt.
And alhamdulillah this helped me get
over my music like obsession cuz the
music there even though there was music
in a lot of place in Egypt it was
different. It was like some yeah habibi
didn't really affect me. It didn't have
that same I didn't have that love for
that music. It was just habibi habibi
habibi like it just no
every song sounded the same. So I wasn't
really interested. So, alhamdulillah, I
came back to the UK and they said, "Oh,
you stop rapping and stuff, mashallah."
And I remember the teacher saying, some
youngsters in the mosque to end my story
was like, "Do a rap. Do a rap." And they
were the imam's children. I said, "No,
no, no. I can't do a rap. We're in a
stop trying to embarrass me. You're
coming up to me telling me to do a rap.
These people don't know I'm a rapper.
You're exposing me." And he's like,
"Come do a rap. do man I said you recite
some Quran for me and they recited Quran
I remember seeing a youngster
like with their young people have got
beautiful voice in mah and then I'll go
you do it now and they was like do you
know that surah I goes no I don't even
know it I need to learn it though and
he's like man that's in Amma my little
brother knows it he's five
I was like wow and that's when I
realized I went to a talk the first day
after and you know sometimes you go to a
talk and you feel like that imam is
talking directly to you. I felt like he
was talking to me. He was like how much
Quran do you know? How much Quran do you
know? You'll be questioned about how
much Quran have you memorized. Most of
you youngsters are hes of Eminem's album
of Na's album. But how much Quran do you
know? You know all these songs if you
play these songs these rap songs in your
cars you can rap along to every word.
Put the Quran on. Can you recite along
with every word? And I felt like wow
he's talking to me. So this is when I
realized, you know, I need to stop this
and start memorizing the Quran. And as
the Sheikh said, it's the best speech.
Best speech. A lot of youngsters come to
me and say, I want to be a poet. I want
to be a spoken word artist.
Unfortunately, I don't give them too
much enthusiasm. I don't really like,
oh, that's great. Cuz I just think to
myself, this is something I was asked to
do. It's not a dream. My dream, I would
rather be a h of Quran and spend all my
time. I don't go to a poet and I say,
"Teach me how to do poetry." But I will
travel the other side of the world and
say, "Teach me Quran cuz this is the
beautiful thing and that's what we
need."
So anyway, the imam said to me, "Do some
poetry, do some rap in the mosque
without no music cuz it was Eid and the
kids would like to hear some." And I was
shy. I was nervous to do it. I was
thinking, "No, I don't want to do this
in the mid." This this man, I saw some
old Somali man in gray bear just looking
at me like that with his glasses. I was
thinking he won't understand what I'm
saying. This brother's going to stand up
halfway through be like Stella. He's
rapping in the mosque. What is this? And
walk up. Why are you not is this a joke?
I said, "No, no, no. Do it ac cappella.
No music. You know what to say." So I
went out there like this.
And alhamdulillah, it kind of worked. I
was shocked. The same old Somali brother
came up to me after he sh everyone was
shaking my hand. And I remember he was
like, "Masah, very good brother. Do you
have this on CD for my children?" I was
like, "No, I haven't got it on CD."
But alhamdulillah, from that day, like I
said, I never promoted myself or
marketed myself to say, "This is what I
do." Um, I've got a stage name. I
remember once in a Q&A, they were like,
"What made you pick the stage name
Muslim Bal?" I was like, "This is not a
stage name. I don't have a stage name."
I took my shahada and the brother said,
"Bal is a good name for you, but I
didn't know who Bal was." I didn't know
Balbar at the time. I just took my
shahada. So, I was like, "Bal?" They
don't sound like what I want. I want
something like Sufyan or Talib or Hanza.
These ones sound a bit more, you know, I
can pick any name. Like, let me pick let
me get a book and pick. Like, this was a
good moment for me. So, he was like,
"No, no, no. Bilal is good for you.
Trust me, Bal." And I was just like,
"Okay, who's Bal? Tell me about him."
And he explained to me who Bilal was and
how he called people to success, called
people to good work, the call to prayer.
He was mad and how his voice was
beautiful. I was thinking, "Wow, okay."
And he was a black slave and took
shahada and he and he explained the
whole story. So I accepted the name but
I said, "Can I choose another name as
well?" And he says, "Yeah, no problem."
So he gave me the book and I was looking
through the book and I remember seeing
certain names like I wanted to pick and
then I saw Muslim. So I was questioning
why is Muslim in there? That's not a
name. And the brother said, "Yes, that
is a name. This other brother I know is
called Islam." It's a name. So I said,
"All right, I'm going to have that as my
name cuz I love it's the best name for
me." I was like, "I love the meaning."
And he was like, "Yeah, you could be Bal
Muslim." I said, "No, Muslim Bal." This
is the first day. So I took that name
and then after that day when I done the
thing in the masid, people started
asking me, can you come and do this at
our university? Can you come and speak
at our school? Can you come to our
country? Can you come here? Can you come
there? I never promoted myself. That's
why I always used to say, Allah, if this
ain't good for me, take it away from me.
If it's good for me, then make it
happen. Because I never promoted myself.
There's no website saying book me like
this or etc. I don't know to this day
how people get hold of me. It's just if
it's willed, someone will call me and
tell me to come. If not, then I won't
go. So, I'm going to share some of that
poetry, that story with you now.
You see,
I was raised around guns and roses.
I got inspired by the story of Moses.
I ask a lot to have mercy on this soul
of mine.
I was surrounded by guns and roses
inspired by the story of Moses.
Ask Allah to have mercy on this soul of
mine.
I find myself in the other side of this
world. All for this religion or for what
Allah revealed. You find balow in a
small flat by myself. Quran in between
my knees. Books piled up on a shelf. And
as I read, memories flash me in my day.
Everything looks different. So many
things have changed to Balo. Now this
world doesn't look the same. All the
things I used to like, I can't even like
again. All the things I was about, I had
to leave behind. Ashley was a little
boy, but was the man I had to find. I
always knew there come a time when I
would cross the line. Knew there was a
true religion. That religion wasn't
mine. They look at me and they say the
boy's gone crazy. I gave up so much all
for the one that made me. Preparing
myself for the angels to come and take
me. Take me from this terrible world in
which they place me. And the signs were
clear for them as they are for me. But
they didn't choose to listen. They
didn't choose to see. I see the two
parts in front of me so clearly. I
choose in the right side. I'm staying on
it firmly. Obviously, I'm just another
guy from the road. And I find it hard on
this path that I chose. But I ain't got
a choice now. The realness shows. We all
got to submit. That's just how it goes.
It's amazing when I look at where I am
today. This ain't what I was raised in
my cord. is the chosen way. I used to go
into my church every Sunday. Mama was
cooking recipes, listening to reggae.
Typical black boy from a typical black
household. Walking with his jeans low,
face like he own the road. Before there
was no hope. I used to make a lot of
dough. But ask me about Islam or love. I
say I don't know. Then a few books, a
few months, a lot of reading, a new
season. It brings a new way of thinking.
I reason. When a Muslim is speaking, I
listen. I smile cuz of the beauty I
found in his religion. This is what was
missing. The final piece of the puzzle.
It's all starting to make sense now.
Before it was all muddled, I was stuck
in the jungle, blind like a bat. Now I
see quite clear. It's a lot I thank for
that. I was on the outside looking in
the ghetto child lingering,
thinking, should I take it now? The
thoughts were just wavering. Will it
make my daddy proud? What am I going to
say to him? Can I go back to my house?
Mommy, I'm a Muslim. How she going to
take it down? How they going to take it
in? Will I end up kicked out? Will I get
a kick in? I don't know what to do. I
got to plan my next move. So I want to
take shahada hard ass soon but really
got to think it through. So what's right
for me I have to do. I live for me and
not for you. I don't believe that it's
true. The things I read in the news is
my choice. I'm a choose. I ain't got
nothing to lose. This is the village and
the truth. Read the books found the
proof. I remember Ismael came to me sat
me down and say to me what's your
purpose in life? Could just like a game
to me. And I would think occasionally
Ismael is right. I need to fix up my
life. Tonight could be my last night. So
just before the summer year 2002, my
mind already had a wonder and now it's
time to make a move. I made my way down
to the stews where I link up with my
crew. I'm sitting on a single chair and
my fingers through my hair. I said, "Yo,
Isha Phil, is your older brother here?"
Thankfully, he says, "Yeah, is my was
downstairs.
He'll be up in a minute. He's having a
word with his mother. When he comes up,
I tell him I want to take my shahada."
He looks at me and smiles. I stand up,
receive a hug. He said, "I see you as a
friend. I look you like a bra. Now I
could feel the love. No longer feeling
lost. He said take off your cross to
take a drive to New Cross where I met my
uncle Yaser and his brothers from all
over. They said it's time to leave to
get old life way over your shoulder. So
I said Allah Muhammad Allah. There's no
true God except Allah. Muhammad is his
messenger and I ain't going church no
more. I'm going J.
I remember Friday stret
I wanted to get the front row. I had to
get it early. He read the prayer in
Arabic. I understood it barely. I really
got to learn it quick. I got myself a
teacher and then I went to Egypt so I
can learn the language better. I'm
feeling all emotional. I wrote my mom a
letter. You need your feeling lonely.
Wanted to find myself a lover. I tried
to get married. I suffered a bit of
racism. He said she couldn't be with me
because my parents were Jamaican. I
said, "Hey, but I still pray and I fast
in Ramadan." He said, "No daughter of
mine will be marrying a black man." I
said, "Okay, cool. I'mma make dua for
you." And you know what brother? This
make the for me too.
I'm just happy I'm a Muslim that came
from the streets to Islam. They get old
now when I see my brother give a pal
embrace with a hug and greet him with
salam salam.
I'm a Muslim that came from the streets
to Islam. They get older when I see my
brother give a palm. Embrace with a hug
and greeting with salam salam.
And mom always tried her best to make
sure her son was focused. Mom always had
a smile no matter how slow I progress.
And my mom would always say, "That's my
son. He's the best." And mom never let
me forget that this life was a test. But
I was raising Christianity. I used to go
church. Mom would drop me off to school.
Then she rushed off to work. And mom saw
her son change when I turned 19. But she
still loved me the same. When I
converted to the dean, she started
asking questions. Sona, why you do that?
I say, "Mom, sit with me. Watch your DVD
of Ahmed that." And slowly but surely,
mama recognized the truth and appreciate
the changes that I made since my youth.
But she knew I was flying away. She
wanted to spend a day together. This was
our moment. We went masid together. And
it was enough to make me smile. Look at
my mom with a hair cover. And then she
broke the news. She wanted to take her
shahada. I said, "Allah Akbar.
Obviously,
I love Allah the most in this. And then
I love the prophet and his sunnah. But
after my love for Islam comes a love for
my mother. Definitely I love Allah the
most in his and then I love the prophet
and his sunnah. But after my love for
Islam
comes the love for my mother.
Said tell my mother when I die don't
cry. Just pray for me at my janaza. Why?
I believe in a life that goes on beyond
the sky. I'm just trying to get there
while I'm here still alive. And yeah,
I'm surprised. I didn't think that I
will be able to lead the things that I
done before. But I now they see me in
the street. They say, "Balow, how's it
going?" And I replied, "Alhamdulillah,
it's going fine. The grass is greener on
the other side. The women are more
cleaner and the men are more polite. I
love my new family. I love my new life."
See, now I can smile even if I die
tonight. But if I die tonight, tell my
mother don't cry. Pray for me. Imagine
as a white cuz I believe in a life that
goes on beyond the sky. I'm just trying
to get there while I'm here still alive.
And I am nothing
without my religion
without my fear, my faith or my wisdom.
You might see me talking, but is it even
worth me living if I ain't got fear or
faith or religion?
See, it's the end of the beginning. And
my soul's been taken. All this time I
thought I was winning. Now I'm going
through registration.
Will my name be called by the one who
rolls or am I the one who falls? Face
down and balls and screams and cries.
Send me back for another try. Requests
denied. Access denied. Why can I see?
Where are my eyes? Why can I speak? Why
are my lips sealed, eyes closed? Why am
I naked? Where are my clothes? And why
are those things that I bought yesterday
piled on my back? Could this be what
they say will be the day of no turning
back?
That's why I pray I don't forget what I
came for,
what I'm made for, what I'm aiming for.
I guess we forget our purpose. Are we
still lost in a life that's worthless?
I guess we forget what we came for, what
we're made for, what we're aiming for. I
guess we forget our purpose. Are we
still lost in a life that's worthless?
Brother, do you want for me when you
want for yourself?
Brother, do you pray gives me strength
and health? Or brother, do you forget
about me like I'm a star?
Brother, do you love for me?
Brother, do you want for me when you
want for yourself? Brother, do you pray
gives me strength and health? Brother,
do you gossip about me like I'm a star?
Brother, do you really love me?
Walking with his head down, books under
his arm, reciting his favorite words in
the Quran. As time goes around so soon.
Time goes around so soon.
seen from them disbeliever as a stranger
seen as a man that brings terror and
danger but he's just trying to focus on
his dean head down trying to focus on
his dean
a Muslim bal they call me Allah bless me
with a power where they showed me use
your voice to give da where they told me
help prepare the um for the hour before
we but I can't see what's coming around
the corner. I'm not a messenger. I am
just a warner. So I leave us with this
warning. Today could have been a last
morning. If tonight we die, thank you.
It's been a pleasure entertaining you. I
just hope it benefited you the way it's
meant to. I took you on a journey, gave
the story of my life, and I may not get
to tell this story again after tonight.
Cuz this could be good night, but it's
been a good night. And if I pass this
test, I say it's been a good life. I'm
glad I put things right. I was on a bad
path and now I make gzle in my bath and
wrap my head up with a scarf. I like a
nice faux duffer, a sleeveless puffer.
My trousers above the ankles. Problems
in this duna, but I'm seeing the angles
clear. I'm in my 10th year. So this is
like a 10-year-old inspiring his pairs.
Should I even be here? We could trade
places and you could take the chair. And
you don't need to cheer or clap. And
please don't compare this to rap cuz I
am just a speaker. I speak in the
language of the youth. I understand
them. I've been through what most of
them been through. When I'm on the stage
with a different ambition like Malcolm,
a man on the mission made the
transition. Came from the streets to
Islam the ghetto. When I see my brother
give a palm, embrace with a hug and
greeting with salam. Salam
like a soldier.
The brother said, "I mentioned I went to
Egypt. How was my experience there?
Alhamdulillah, there's good and bad
everywhere in the world. I went there to
try and better my Islam and I wanted to
see the Muslims."
Alhamdulillah, I did see the Muslims in
Egypt, but I didn't can't say I actually
saw Islam how I wanted to see Islam.
There's good and bad everywhere. I think
in Egypt the manners the Arabs in
general the manners like as in they will
feed you eat eat they will give you more
and more and more more food to your l
come on this surely this ain't halal
eating this much so the manners was good
in the people like they will do things
for you and help you however sadly a lot
of the youth did
they was interested in the wrong things
they'll be like oh you're from England
where your family from Jamaica. Can you
roll a spliff? Can you roll a spliff?
Can you rap? Can you do this? Do you
know about that? They seem so interested
in England and where I'm coming from.
And I was so interested in what they
had, what they was born with. Like
there's masids everywhere. Like just
downstairs there's a masid. You just got
to go downstairs. That's it. It seemed
like this is amazing. But they had it
all their life that they didn't really
cherish it. And that kind of hurt me. I
was thinking, you don't realize what you
have. You can stand in prayer and just
understand what is being recited.
You can just read, pick up that Quran
and just read the Arabic. Your mom, your
dad, they've all got leillah in their
heart. You don't understand what you've
got. And this was what was frustrating.
And this is how kind of my journey
started cuz I ended up sitting at coffee
shops talking to everyone about my
journey to Islam and why I came to this
country. And it was this is how it all
started in Egypt to be honest. So, but
my overall experience was good. It's
beneficial if you want to learn Quran.
If you want to learn Arabic, it's
beneficial and it's cheap there. The
brother asked what brought me to Kuwait.
Um,
to be honest, I had to leave Egypt
because of money issues, you know, like
there's a quote that I love like we need
I need money to live, but I don't live
for money. It's not good to live for
money, but the truth is we do need money
to live. So when we're making our goals
and our object, we should separate our
goals. Financial goals is needed, but
spiritual goals, physical goals,
etc., family goals, we must balance them
out. So in Egypt, I was just on my
spiritual goals, but I wasn't earning
any money. I was just spending money.
And then I come to a stage where I was
running out of money, and I didn't know
how to make more in Egypt. The money is
so sweet. So I came back to England in
hope to save and save and save and go
back one day. But it was hard and then
wanting to get married. It's very hard.
Dowies these days that women ask for
just ridiculous sometimes stuff and not
even them their fathers. What job? What
education? I remember in Egypt it was
just like what certificate what's your
major? What's your degree? And the
things like what it seemed like what the
companions and the Sahabas made
important we didn't find important but
we had new things. what they didn't find
important, we made important and I was
just couldn't. So I went back to England
and I was in England for long and I
remember I found myself getting lost
back in my UK cycle and I wanted to get
away again but I knew I couldn't afford
to just go Egypt do a year come back
Kuwait. I met a brother when I was in
Holland. I was touring with uh Napoleon
Mutabil and we was talking backstage and
he was saying man you got to get out of
the UK man it's fair he's in Saudi now
you got to try and get out to Saudi or
something or let the brothers hook you
up and I said I would love that there's
a brother there from Kuwait and he said
no not Saudi come to Kuwait come to
Kuwait and um I took his details and
then I lost touch with him 7 months
later but you know you got to make
effort I still went I booked my flight,
my ticket, and I went there not knowing
anyone. Alhamdulillah, Allah made me
meet someone the first day who knew the
brother who I was coming to meet and he
helped me find a flat
and he introduced me to a teacher and I
found I made a whole family there in
Kuwait. So, I went there to just try it
out initially. But it's beautiful. I I I
did like it there because there's not so
much happening like Egypt. It's very
simple. is very small and it's not too
excited. It's not too excited. They've
got the Arabic culture where you go to
the desert regular and we sit and do
talks and every you can there's lectures
every day. You can get close to the
people of knowledge and they do lectures
every day whereas it's more limited in
like Egypt and Saudi to just anyone
can't just speak. So, alhamdulillah this
was beneficial for me and yeah and
there's a way there you can earn money
you can get jobs there and earn money so
you don't have to keep traveling back
and forth so that's why I kind of
selected there
alhamdulillah so that's the end of my
questions thank you very much
I come from London where it's always
cold it's always raining
I'm going to start off with a piece
that goes like this.
You see,
you see it's cold outside. I got my coat
on.
My mommy looked in my eyes and told me,
"Hold on."
She said, "There's danger down the road
that I walk on."
And those who walked on it before, now
they're all gone.
They're either locked in a cage or down
in the grave.
This is the outcome from the choices we
made. Alhamdulillah, I feel I've been
saved. Alhamdulillah, I feel I've been
saved.
Alhamdulillah, I feel I've been saved.
Alhamdulillah, that's why I'm here
today.
You see, Jamaica is my background.
London is my birthplace.
I asked myself, why didn't they teach me
about the religion of Islam in the first
place? See, I was on the verge of
walking around my streets of London with
a screw face. Now I say it's a good
thing. I was never too cool to read the
first page. Yeah, Jamaica is my
background.
London is my birthplace. I asked myself,
why didn't they teach me about my
purpose in this life in the first place?
See, I was on the verge of walking
around my streets of London with a screw
face. Now I say it's a good thing. I was
never too cool to read the first page.
See, I remember
coming home late from the parties,
intoxicated with champagne. I didn't
really have love for anybody. I was a
bad boy with a bad name. And now I get
paid to tell my story. Alhamdulillah, I
came a long way from the streets to
Islam. Now salam is what we say. And the
day after took my shahada. Subhan Allah.
That was a Friday. The brothers picked
me up to take me to Ja. We got there
late and they started to pray. He
whispered to me, "Follow my lead." I
didn't understand the word that they
say. And I thought he was confused like
me till he opened his mouth and he said,
"Amen."
Then he raised his hands and he went to
his knees and he raised back up. Then we
went to the floor. Then we raised back
up and we went to the floor. Now this is
confusing me for sure. But I didn't give
up. Now I understanding. You're looking
at a proud Muslim man. And I want to go
and live in a Muslim land. Take a Muslim
wife hack by a Muslim man. And I have
some Muslim kids. I got Muslim plans.
Alhamdulillah. I'm a Muslim man.
But sometimes
I think when my sky turns black, my
future starts to fade. And all I have is
what I see in front of me today. Could
this could be my last hour. That's the
reality. I worry about tomorrow when I
meet him and he greets me. I was a black
boy lost till the age of 19. I picked up
my first book. I'm inspired now to read.
I always had an image of a bad boy in
the street, but always had a crazy love
for a love inside of me. Now, what's the
truth for the life of this world? I was
sitting there asking myself, cuz I could
get the money or the girls quite easy. I
could be a superstar, always seen on TV.
But will it make me happy? Will it make
me smile? Will it last forever or just a
short while? What happens after the
nightclubs? After all the raves, after
all the fame when your name starts to
fade, after old age when the bone starts
to fray? What happens after the church
or the mosque or the grave? They say the
topic of death is depressing. I say it
depends on the brother and the vision.
Cuz after these years, we're surviving
in the prison. I pray there's a life
waiting for us in the heaven. Imagine a
land of justice and perfection. No more
police, poverty, or politician. After
being in these streets, victim of the
system, we're finally free. Running
around like the children. And this could
all be, but I know it won't be easy.
They say one from every thousand. I just
want that one to be me. Living in a land
of no rain, always good weather. I'm
prepared to stop partying today so I
could party there forever. But they
don't see the vision like I see it.
They're caught up in this life. Lost, so
be it. I just want to chill with a wife
and a Moroccan mint tea. Visualizing
paradise. That's where we want to be.
But sometimes it feels like I got this
da on my shoulders. The young brothers
say they can't rely upon the olders. So
there coming to me with all the
questions. MB, what can I do about my
unawful obsessions? And I'll be like,
"Wow, how did I end up here?" It's funny
how life could turn around within some
years. The other day I was hustling,
dropping off a sample and I had to say
you're setting an example. I'm dealing
with a handful of sins trimmed down from
a mountain. Looking at my past life, the
gang I rolled around in while I'm
sipping at the zam zam fountain or my
around my aura around my brown skin.
Alhamdulillah. I came from the streets
to Islam the ghetto. Now when I see my
brother give a palm embrace with a hug
and greet him with salam.
So
this next piece I'm going to do
um
I'm going to do something.
What should I do?
Something Let me do something uh
something new about the sisters
I was thinking of about a year ago. But
yeah, it's new to me.
Uh
nothing personal, but see as there's the
sisters always outdo the men in these
events, so I might as well. Bismillah
sister. Huh?
Make up on the spot.
No, no, no, no, no. I I I do initially,
but then I remember it and do it now.
So, uh, sister,
as in the earlier section, I ended with
the brother, you want for me, we want
for yourself. Do you remember that?
Brother, would you pray Allah, give me
strength and help? Brother, would you
gossip about me like I'm a star?
Brother, do you love me?
So, this one's for the sisters. This
goes like this. Sister, I can't even see
your face.
Sister, I can't even hear your voice.
Sister, I can't even smell your scent.
You must be the one Allah sent by your
sister. I can't even see your face.
Sister, I can't even hear your voice.
Sister, I can't even smell your scent.
She must be the one last sent by your
sister.
Walking in a black veil, talking in a
low voice. She ain't got no smell. She
don't want to see no boys. She gets
embarrassed when she's out there in the
public. Her beauty is amazing, but she
don't want it public. She wears flats
cuz the hills bring attention. She must
be the one my books used to mention. And
she don't wear makeup. She's HD clear.
And her eyebrows haven't been fredded in
a year. A head full of knowledge and a
heart full of fair. Eyes full of love
and a hands full of care. Loose are the
garments that she likes to wear. She
could have a good body, but she wants to
prevent the stairs. I like the way she
gets embarrassed when I recite a verse.
The way she wears her with the Converse.
She ain't the type to let her husband go
to sleep stressful cuz she don't want to
get cursed by the angels. Sister, I
can't even see your face. Sister, I
can't even hear your voice. Sister, I
can't even smell your scent. You must be
the one last sent by your sister, I
can't even smell your face. Sister, I
can't even hear your voice. Sister, I
can't even smell your scent. You must be
the one Allah sent.
Yeah, I'd love to tie the knot like a
boy scout. You know what I'm talking
about. Complete half my dean. Then I'll
be walking out with my queen, a wife
veled up covered from head to toe.
That's how I like mine up. That's mine,
brothers. It's not for your eyes. Only
need that one wife that follows God's
way of life. And I would love to give
her about 17 children, 10 boys, seven
girls, and feed all of them. And I'mma
raise all my boys to be soldiers. My
girls to be wives. I'm not following my
olders. Nah, I want to live in a
household of love. When daddy comes
home, little girls run and give a hug.
When it's time to pray, replace all the
rugs to the mats and call the whole
family to come and pray salat. Brothers
stand at the front, sisters stand at the
back. Whole family praying together now.
How real is that? After the prayer,
recite Quran, taking in turns that we
could talk about school today. What did
you learn? The young kids go and play.
The wife's cooking some food with the
oldest of my daughters in there helping
to with the oldest of the sons outside
with me up on the roof going through
some Quran and hadiths. I'm a bit of
football.
I'm just trying to paint the picture.
The family structure now Islam's in my
life. It's so much better. I can't even
see your face.
You know that bit.
I'm going to end on one last piece.
And this piece is the first first piece
I ever done
when years ago a brother asked me to do
something to raise money for Palestine.
And he said that we're going to pull it
on like a CD.
And this is when I first stopped doing
music.
So he said just do something and it'll
go on the CD and the sales of the CD
will send the money to Palestine. So I
said what should I do? And he was
something about a Philistine like I
don't know. So I typed in on YouTube
uh Philistine or Palestine. What's
happening? I can't remember. But I
remember finding this YouTube clip of a
little girl. She was about 9 years old
and she was crying Philistine. It's me
Philistine crying about she is Palestine
and what's happening in it was about the
situation there and the girl inspired me
to do this small poem and I'll just end
with this.
My little brother's getting stuck up. My
little sister's getting knocked up. My
aunties and my uncles getting locked up.
Shahiz are getting wrapped up.
And I'm still in my room watching my
plasma TV like nothing's up. One um one
body. When one part feels the pain, the
pain spreads. And it's supposed to
affect everybody. But I don't see
anybody doing anything but marching and
screaming and voting for somebody that
ain't helping nobody. When does the game
stop? I make dua when the rain drops. My
brothers in Philistine watching the
flames drop. This ain't peace. This is
on top until we get serious. It won't
stop. And serious time's coming soon.
But I'm still in my room. I'm still in
my room. Serious times coming soon. I
need to leave this room. Leave this
room.
I'm sitting in the park where the kids
go play until it's dark. There's nobody
around. I hear the sounds from the cars
as they pass. I see a man and his wife
linking arms talk and laugh. They're
smiling now, but how long would this
last in the world that we live in? WA
likes receiving, but no one likes
giving. I'm sitting there this evening,
really stressing out. Trying to find an
excuse, trying to figure out what could
be the reason. What's it all about? Is
it just the killing season? Why the guns
are out? Pow pow pow. She heard the
shots fired. Pow pow pow. Her brother
just died. Pow pow pow. Now this little
girl cries. Pow pow pow in Palestine.
Pow pow pow. She heard the shots fired.
Pow pow pow. Her brother just died. Pow
pow pow. Now this little girl cries. Pow
pow pow in Palestine.
See I need money to live but I don't
live for money. I sleep okay. It's not a
day I go hungry. Should I be happy with
my life? What about the other side? I
understand. So I smile less and I cry
more. And I got a lot going on in these
eyeballs. And I don't tear very easy,
but I know there's more than a show on
the TV going on here in our world. Those
little girls are my little girls. And
those little boys are my little boys.
The least I can do is make some noise.
And I don't do it for the lime life and
the people, but the north from Allah.
Only tried to help the people so I can
get help from Allah. Show mercy to the
people cuz I need mercy from Allah. How
can I not forgive the people and ask
forgiveness from Allah? But we became a
people who's forgotten who we are. They
say, "Balow, man, you could have been a
star. Who cares? Look at them over there
and look at what they going through. How
can I sit here and just smile and enjoy
my food?"
And that's it from me to you.
[Applause]