[Music]
alhamdulillah peace be unto you welcome
to the dean show which is a way of life
which we try to put out there for
everyone to see helping you understand
Islam and Muslims what's a Muslim a
Muslim is one who does Islam what is
Islam it's an action it's a verb it's to
submit and to surrender your will to the
will of the Creator you learned
something already and you're going to
learn some more we're bringing out our
special guest this week you can go into
the interview we did with him we're
covering the topic of marriage you can
learn more about him we're going to
introduce
him he's about to come out special
guest
she
yaser B Bridges
welcome to the be
show all right sh thank you for coming
out we went over your formal background
on the last show that we did but real
quick people can go back we have we're
going to have all your topics under your
caty special guest Yer B B I'm going get
that I'm going to get that right one day
you will you it's very easy yes B Bas
you you graduated from with honors as a
class Victorian from the Yale of Islamic
universities in
Medina true true University of Medina
Medina yes and you're the Imam spiritual
leader in Al Paso Texas no okay
instructor of Institute ALB Institute
aldah all right now we're going to get
into the topic marriage
today it's become something that is not
being held on to as it was back just I
don't know how many years ago as
something entrusted something
pure today people are test driving in
relationship just like you test driving
your car people are living together you
know you mean this is my girlfriend this
is my boyfriend nobody's you don't hear
like this is my husband this is my wife
it's something that now is become a norm
in society that people are drifting away
from Marriage true or even the youth
that want to get married some parents
are even making it more difficult
they're saying wait till you finish
college well back then you had people uh
getting married at a younger age
preserving the family but what's
happening today you know I got to finish
I got to get my doctor's degree I gotta
get finish get this PhD and the woman's
30 she's independent now there's nothing
wrong with being independent but she's
30 and still not married the boy he's
wants to you know have his fun test
drive as many cars as he can and then
get married we want you to go into this
subject and tell us how
Islam preserves marriage what it says
about marriage what's the man's role
what's the woman's role really clarify
this in detail can you do that
insh can do
that all praise be to Allah the most
merciful the compassionate and May peace
and blessing of Allah be upon his
messenger Muhammad sallallah alaihi
wasallam marriage in Islam love is
probably the most spoken about subject
in life of men and women today uh people
they have this kind of feeling and
passions to love each other they would
like to establish relationship they
would like to have a happy life and most
men and women they have their own uh
ideal about the concept of the concept
of relationship and the concept of love
as well we we see that in this Century
the 20 21st century right now most men
and women are enjoying enjoying the comp
the companionship of one another uh
without having any specific limits
except for a few of course so they have
started their own ideology of love their
own ideology and culture of of of
relationship and marriage as well it has
changed a lot from the time when people
they used to uh appreciate the concept
of uh uh of family the concept of
marital life being a spouse being
someone who who is caring for you and
caring for someone else uh having the
concept of having children and raising
up you know a solid foundation for the
society in the future people have
changed a lot and they changed a lot of
these Concepts as well in Islam the the
institution of marriage is still solid
in Con in theory and in application as
much as possible but we still see that
so many people are also drifting from
that mainstream of the culture of
marriage and family life to something
new in this Society you see we are
seeing right now many young people young
men and young women are delaying their
marriages they don't really get try they
don't have any interest they don't even
show that interest of even getting
married we see so many people young men
and women they're pursuing their career
they want to find themselves they want
to Define themselves but the most of
them not all of them right now are
trying to Define themselves through
individualism means they want to be
themselves they want to build careers
they want to have degrees they want to
be successful in this life and so forth
but even the concept of success have
been drifted away from the concept of
family and marriage to being successful
individ and individual and unfortunately
many people are falling uh short when it
com to the relationship with their
spouse so therefore we see the other uh
problem in marital relationship now in
the century is that people would uh they
getting married married but uh this
marriage doesn't last too long many
people they end up their relationship
with uh divorce the end the relationship
with uh estrangement and even sometimes
the end with unfortunately like so many
incident we have been watching on the
news with with a murder just simply they
snap out from that kind of relationship
and they end up so violent in deting
with their spouses what is going on what
exactly is happening to people in the
relationship what is happen to the
concept of marriage and family life and
I would like briefly to talk about the
concept of marriage and the concept of
love and relationship for Islamic
perspective it has been summarized in
one simple verse and Ayah in the Quran
where Allah subhah wa tala God saying in
the Quran
in verse number 21
which means in the English translation
that amongst his sign is this that he
created for
you from amongst yourself as mates
spouses in order to find peace and
Tranquility with
them and he established between your
hearts that is love and mercy
indeed the means in these uh verses and
those words are signs signs from Allah
subhana tala from the Creator for those
who would like to reflect this what
summarized the concept of marriage in
Islam we see that in living in the 20
21st century it's it has become a cult
the body culture means everything is
about beauty people they would like to
marry someone because of their physical
characteristics nothing about what is
beyond that actually image there's
nothing wrong of course of pursuing
something beautiful because this is now
signs of perfection in mankind as well
as Muslims we believe that marriage is a
sign of perfection in uh the life of man
uh so therefore it is something virtuous
to go and pursue in this life in the
legal way of course and in this Ayah in
this verse in the Quran uh our the
commentators in the Quran what they said
they uh they based that the the marriage
itself it should the successful marriage
is based on two two elements or two
factors for a successful marriage number
one to have love and number two to have
mercy so if you have love that's one
thing that's something very important in
marital relationship but number two you
also have the mercy most marriages they
start with a loving relationship
specifically living in this culture you
have so many people who go with these
kind of test driving marriages or
sometimes even driveth through marriage
they just meet each other you know in in
a in a club or in some kind of casual
event and all of a sudden they're in
love and they want to get married where
are they getting their ideas for
marriage from nothing really probably
significant or serious uh except that
what they see on TV what they read in
fairy tales and so on so it starts with
love and then like we we see in many
many relationships specifically in in
life of celebrities this kind of loving
so-called relationship end up uh with
divorce quickly after they get married
so what happened to that love that they
enjoyed before
what exactly is happening what's going
on with with love people they they have
that you know that that feeling that
love is something permanent when they
fall in love they think that it's going
to be for granted forever but uh once
they start their marital relationship
that's when they realize that love is
more than just a mere thought or just a
passion or even a lust it's even more
than that and that's when mercy comes in
so we believe that love during that
merited relationship trans transforms
itself to different degrees and
different also uh uh shapes it start
with this passionate love and then when
the spouse when the wife she becomes
pregnant now they they're expecting a
child uh very soon the husband and wife
they become now uh more merciful to each
other more loving in a different way of
course because there is something else
that they going to share together in
this life and then even when you have
that child now that love will be split
between you all of you as if family and
now the father has another purpose of
life besides you know just being so
loving to his wife he also needs to be
so loving to his family sacrifice and
the wife would do the same thing it's
all about mercy and it's all about love
transforming itself from one level to
the other unfortunately uh most people
they're still living these kind of
idealistic dreams about a perfect
relationship and contemporary study just
confirmed and proved that this perfect
relationship is almost an illusion there
is nothing perfect about marit
relationship except to except expect to
have everything in your marit
relationship you have the ups and downs
you have the good times and the bad
times you have the times when you're
upset and angry and when you have the
time when you're very happy and you're
laughing and so on expecting a natural a
natural marital relationship but if you
expect to have that perfect relationship
means it's all about love that's when
people when they start seeing that love
is not there anymore they start going
for divorce because there is no purpose
anymore for this relationship but if you
think of love as an action that you need
also to do and and and way of
transforming that love to a merciful
relationship as well that's when love
when marriage actually starts prolong
prolonging and takes even uh uh a longer
time of course between a husband and
wife we believe uh that family life uh
uh should be all about love and mercy
it's not just solely about love the comp
the passionate love is not so just a
mercy It's a combination between love
and mercy and we believe that the best
solution for the passions of people in
this life is to respect this value the
value of family and the value of
marriage uh as Muslims we do we do
believe that you know there are certain
guidelines that people need to observe
in that marital relationship when we say
marriage we're talking about contract
and a contract means it has its own
Provisions that both parties should
honor and should also deserve you have
things we call them rights and also we
have things we call them obligations
what men and women share together in
marital life it's all about their rights
and their obligations and hopefully we
will have an opportunity to discuss the
meaning of Rights and obligations
between a husband and wife in Islam it
has all been regulated in the Quran and
the sunah of the Prophet Muhammad uh uh
himself peace be upon him and by
studying the best example for mankind
we'll see how marital relationship would
go so smooth and so uh loving and happy
marital life it is he himself Muhammad
peace be upon him the prophet of Islam
who
said the best amongst you are those who
are the best to their families and then
he say that I am the best to my family
in order of course to a recommendation
for us to follow his perfect example as
a role model for
mankind that was wonderful thank
alhamdulillah thank you so we got a kind
of an idea what is marriage is in Islam
we have some practical things that are
happening today tell us is it true that
when a Muslim completes marriage this is
like completing half of his faith it's a
it's a very common Concept in the Muslim
culture that indeed when someone gets
married they complete half of their
faith because most people uh they kind
of they they have this kind of you know
wild dreams and Wild Life and so forth
once they get married that's when they
start settling down and they start you
know becoming more focused on their
goals of in this life and they
understand themselves in the society in
general is there something is it true
that now once a man is married he like
psychologically physically he becomes
like balanced he should be yeah I mean
people they should be why because now
it's no longer it's no longer about
yourself it's about us yeah so when
people they start you know uh they have
their own wild dream again uh they won't
like to be such and such do all these
kind of things and so on and now when
they when they get married they have
someone else in their life that when
they think they think jointly of course
so it's all about us it's not no longer
about me personally or you personally
that doesn't mean that marriage will
limit your personal dreams and goals as
well you can still achieve great goals
in this life as an individual but at the
same time with the assistance of your
family that would be a plus to you and
then usually if you're not married you
have I mean it's not everybody but I
know people it's like you're kind of
like a wild animal sometimes well it
depends of course on the environment and
how much they they get they let it to go
loose yeah yes indeed you got you can't
your your desires run wild you get heat
you get you're full of this heat and
this passion you're doing you get chance
to getting some real trouble you live in
the 21st century yeah and when you go
around walking in America walking in the
West in general you would see that again
it's all about body culture even right
now and almost everywhere in the world
body culture body culture it's all
wherever you go it's all about men
getting in shape muscles whatever I they
try to
do flexing how I look exactly women the
same thing they would like of course to
lose weight they want to be in shape and
plus now even in in in uh in fashion
industry and so on it's all about
revealing more parts of the body than
you know covering and concealing that
just like in the past it was about you
know being so modest covering yourself
uh uh being so uh uh uh respectful when
you walk out into the street we lost
that now we lost that right but Islam
preserves it it's still pres brings it
back we don't we don't compromise this
in Islam we don't compromise that in
Islam unfortunately Muslims are doing
that musim aream it doesn't Islam keeps
that of course intact as one of the main
regulations of relationship between a
man and woman so at what age because you
see nowadays many parents are saying and
even individuals they saying you I got
to finish college got this doctor's
degree at what age should a youth get
married because we've gone away so far
saying ah 18 19 is too young it's too
young 30 even people 40 years old
waiting to get married what age should
someone get married well the instruction
of the Prophet Muhammad himself Sall PE
be upon him is that when a person when a
man a person is is capable means
physically and financially capable of
getting married they should not uh spare
a moment they shouldn't spare a moment
they shouldn't spare a moment they
should do that however of course there
are other instructions as well means
that sometimes it becomes compulsory
means obligatory in a person to get
married if they have that capability
financially physically and at the same
time they fear strongly that they might
go into something Haram prohibited
meaning like fornication or or adultery
in this case they are obligated to go
and get married because there's nothing
really prevented from doing cuz there's
no is there boyfriend girlfriend in
Islam we don't have that concept of in
Islam at all how about if we just
holding hands boy and girl the same
thing can't do none of that no touching
none of this playing around she got to
be your wife she got to be your wife
that's clear as date and then in this
case though what about dating how would
people would know each other yeah how
about that that's that's a relevant
question it's it's a very important
question specifically living in this in
this Society you know when you don't
have that much access maybe an Islamic
environment so how we go about it still
the family plays a major role in
presenting you know the youth to each
other plus we have a lot of Islamic
centers who they can should facilitate
this for the for the young people uh and
families to come all together living in
a Multicultural Society uh it's very
important to start tolerating
interracial marriages and mixed
marriages and so forth and so they
having only one particular culture that
puts more too much pressure on on some
of those young people talking about
probably the the culture of Muslim youth
who are growing up in this in this
Society now they developing their own
culture they're American Muslims they're
no longer for example Arab Muslims or
even Indo Pakistani Muslims or bosan
Muslims and so on they're American
Muslims means they all come together
from different backgrounds and they're
building their own uh culture so people
they need to to start you know breaking
the ice and tolerating these kind of
mixed you know cultures between the
Muslims what do you got to say to the
parents who are restricting say the
youth now he's got this urge right and
he wants to get married he fears his
creator because he knows if I fall into
the fornication I'll get some big
trouble right true that's one of the is
that one of the major sins absolutely
major sins major sins one of the major
sins punishable so you have this fear of
your Creator and love you don't want to
displease him now you want to get
married you've come to that but your
parents giving you a hard time now
they're like you know what wait till you
finish school and you know we got to
make get this $25,000 wedding what do
you got to say to the parents well my
advice to the parents my advice to the
parents is that they need to make it
easier for their children their children
are living a different culture right now
a different Society I know most parents
they have that claim that you see we
have gone through this ourselves we have
went to universities we have went to
colleges and we survived the aftermath
of these you kind of experiences so
watching our kids also be you know the
responsibility and also then be more
patient until they finish their school I
would say the culture has changed the
circumstan are changing and your kids
they have that stronger edge of course
to preserve themselves and they have the
full right to to say that however I also
send advice to the young kids young men
and women who would like to get married
that your parents there needs to see
some responsibility from you you know
there's teaching the class myself
teaching a class with the m Institute
called love notes and sometimes in the
activities we ask parents and we ask
also young adults to give their
perspective about why they're delaying
their marriages and why parents are
saying no for these early marriages
unfortunately it is understandable that
parents they look at their kids as still
they still young and they're not very
for it how do they Define someone to be
ready when they see someone that he is
right now responsible means they have a
stable jobs they when they talk they uh
they talk in a very respectful manner uh
uh they know they have defined goals in
their life and so on that's when they
start seeing that their children are
ready for marriage let's say now we have
a situation where the kid he's not
financially stable but he's still in the
heat you know we talking about heat with
men now absolutely can the parents even
help out with financially supporting and
even letting them live in the house
getting a room in the house and
preserving that child rather than taking
a chance and now he slips up and he goes
and starts dating and fornicating and
you know doing the Zena and adult
whatever what do you think about that I
I absolutely agree that if the parents
would uh would have the financial uh
ability to support their children before
even they finish school that would be
great help I'm not saying that the kids
right now they're going to be living in
that perfect environment for a husband
and wife but at least that's better than
doing something wrong they're still at
least doing it in a lawful way lawful
manners plus I would also suggest at
least for just to easy to make things
easier for the children if if you know
that your son or your daughter there
they would like to get married and they
still didn't finish their school why not
then at least they facilitate the
marriage for them by having the marriage
contact done which means they become
islamically and legally husband and wife
but still they delay what we call the
consummation of marriage until more
appropriate time during that time they
have the Liberty to to stay together to
to be uh uh to to have dinner together
to come and visit you know at home
because islamically and legally
considered husband and wife the only
thing that we are not deferring and
delaying is the consummation of marriage
until we think that they're completely
ready for that so they could move to
their own individual and and premises
they have their own apartment and they
have finished their studies and the GU
is even the stable job and so on but
parents they should try to help as much
as possible in such you know a hied
culture like this in the 21st century
how could marriage save one actually
from the Hellfire oh it saves them a lot
I mean it's enough for the person when
they when they really fear fear Allah
subhana wa T when they fear God and they
go and they just pursue this uh
relationship in a lawful manner lawful
way to avoid of course coming in the
Haram that's part of an act of worship
it's an act of worship you're getting
reward for you're getting reward for
that if you're doing it lawfully even
the prophet Muhammad himself when he was
suggesting the acts of Charity a person
would do the prophet Muhammad he said he
mentioned things about marital
relationship things like for example
feeding your own your spouse with your
own hand that's an act of Charity and
even someone approaching his desire in a
lawful manner it's an so you're telling
me that in marriage lawful marriage you
having relations with your wife you
getting reward for you're getting
rewarded for that abely the prophet
Muhammad himself he suggested he said
that he
said means someone approaches his spouse
means uh of course with intimacy and
pleasure they will be rewarded for that
even his companions they got shocked by
that news said M of Allah someone is
going after his desire and he goes and
he gets reward I mean I mean just
satisfying his desire it's a rewarding
Thing by itself so do you get also a
Heavenly reward for that he gave them
now theal for that he said what if this
person does that in an unlawful way
wouldn't they be held accountable for
that and he'll be punished for that he
said yes said oh messenger of Allah he
said so the same thing if he does that
in a lawful way he should be rewarded
for that so for Muslim seeking of course
marital relationship and maintaining the
marital relationship in a healthy way
the struggle itself the struggle itself
which is called J mean just self you
know education it self struggle against
the hardships of marriage the hardship
of of raising a family it's all
rewarding everything that you do in that
same same understanding of you know
getting the word from God you will get
that that's the beautiful thing in Islam
that all these acts all these little
things you do they're considered acts of
worship exactly and the angels writing
down these Deeds everything including
your your regular work when you go out
and work and earning for living in order
to feed your family so that you don't go
and you beg other people for that you
will get reward for that even the
prophet Muhammad himself that Duram that
the Durham which means the one one dinar
like a dollar that you spend on your
family is more rewarding than the one
that you spend in charity why is that
because now you're just striving hard in
order to save uh yourself and your
family going out Expos yourself to
humiliation so that's an act of worship
by itself so marriage by itself it's one
gate to Al to Paradise for those who are
interested in getting to Paradise
marriage is one way of getting there
however you have to do with the proper
way let's rewind for a second when we
said we talked about how much reward and
blessings you get feeding your wife
having relations with your wife how
about you know some of our brothers who
might have fallen in the trap now let's
be real 21st century absolutely you got
true you know you walk out the door you
got half they're dressed but they're not
dressed and the brother Falls now and
he's this becomes like a disease we know
people that have been there and people
that are there right now what advice do
you have for them how do they get out of
the Trap of chasing their desires
flipping the women like you changing
your socks how do you do that well this
is something really it's how serious is
it it's a serious disease that take
Society it's not just you know it's not
just for the Muslim youth it's for
everybody I mean people they take
advantage of this of the environment
saying you know if it's available if
pleasure is available for you for free
why should you go and you pay for it why
should I you know open a house bring
someone you know and just basically face
them every day and every night and bear
the hardships of those people if I can
get what I can what I'm looking for if
if the man purpose is just desire why
should I even be the hardships of
marriage that's a that's a false concept
I mean it's just it's just an aeral
desire sooner or later this this now
this this power of of the energy of
Youth will start fading out to the
reality of life and that's sooner where
will they realize how much they wasted
their time and even they wasted their
energy even they wasted even uh uh uh
actually their Dean and then their
relationship with God in something that
she had not been starting or doing in
the first place so for those people who
are are getting into this the prophet
Muhammad he suggested that uh preserving
yourself protecting yourself uh from
committing that Zen and then until you
meet your lord there is no reward but
but paradise and Al J so it's again it's
now feeling itself that that urge the
the more the more uh uh you feel that
you're into this desire and then you
hold yourself from this the more reward
you get re exactly and and you know that
in self-defense I mean you have to
practice a lot selfline self-discipline
yourself it's all about discipline
yourself and I know most of those people
that we are talking about over here they
probably good Muslims and they're good
youth some of them even they fast the
month of Ramadan and just remember
yourself when you were fasting the month
of Ramadan who was holding you from
drinking that cup of water when you were
by yourself in the office or at room in
the in your room room who was holding
you for from eating or from drinking
when you see everybody's enjoying that
the pleasure of this life and you're
just saying no I'm fasting no one but
you were just really respecting the
concept of fasting in the month of
Ramadan because it's Solly for God Islam
fasting itself is also teaches you that
self-discipline it does that to you and
if you can do it during that month this
is we're training ourselves to be able
to do it through the whole year that's
why it's 30 days yeah 30 30 consecutive
days the month of Ramadan why is that
because you know that you have to first
first of all if you don't want to start
any practice you have to warm up and
then when you warm up you start the real
practice and then starts of course you
know relaxing a little bit that's
exactly what Ramadan is all about you
start for 30 days so you start warming
up for the first few days and then when
you get adjusted to the system that's
when you start building that
self-discipline and by the end of the
month of Ramadan you know that it's
coming very quick to to an end that's
when you start you know worshiping even
more in the last 10 days of Ramadan so
that same thing in your real life if
someone is going is is is actually
facing this this disease of looking at
what God Allah made Haram and unlawful
to them or committing these kind of sins
first of all they need to know that they
need to stop you know that you're
already in a hole and the first rule
that you need to observe is to stop
digging which means you stop first and
then try to find out uh uh find a way
out of that hole so by stopping first
means that you now you put that actually
to a Hal and stop then start reflecting
and going back and then now you start
seeking that help and of course you're
calling other people being in Good
Company it's very very important and uh
try to avoid being around these areas
will provoke your desire and of course
provoke uh the Shan and the the evil one
to go around you and start seducing you
to get back again to that same path
because if you're around people who are
doing this you're going to fall in that
trap absolutely so you got to watch out
who you're hanging around with also you
should company is very very essential
very crucial in life tell me this how
Islam it preserves the rights of the
woman it if you want to now be with this
woman you got to marry her you got to
maintain her you got to take care of her
when in actuality the man is is like the
the wolf trying to get the hint he's
trying to use her abuse her and then
leave her Islam says no you cannot do
that in real life what we see in this
culture there are so many what we call
them single parents yeah but if you try
just to watch and look at the ratio
between single fathers and single
mothers it's there is no comparison most
of those single parents are actually
single mothers yeah which means men
Unfortunately they come and take
advantage take advantage and then they
just leave why is that because they can
find a a better opportunity it's it's
open there is no restriction but in
Islam it preserves the right of women
right of men as well and the marital
relationship so Islam Islam views
marriage to be partnership not ownership
and that's why even something in this
culture when women they they get married
they change their last name to their
husband's last name but Islam this is
not allowed women they should keep their
last name in order to remind them that
you know this is not ownership it's
partnership so you have rights and
obligations and a husband you should
observe the rights of your spouse and
also make sure that you know the
obligation against you are uh uh done
correctly and in the right time the
proper man proper etiquette same thing
the wife she also needs to observe the
rights and obligation of her husband so
it has always been maintained and
regulated yes it is just like any other
Corporation and in corporations usually
they have ahead of the house the head of
that Corporation and usually men were
given that because it's it it it feeds
and notes their ego uh the way Allah
subhana T God created us men and women
in a different way however uh with
unique roles in order to to complete not
to compete against each other to
complete not to compete so we complete
one another we don't compete against
each other so these rights and
obligations observed clearly and they're
mentioned clearly in the Quran and the
tradition Prophet Prophet Muhammad just
a few more points because we're almost
at a time what
should one look for in their spouse the
one they're going to marry what should
they look for the biggest bank account
the the the most perfect body what
should one look for this is now it's
about compatibility yeah who is the most
compatible to you it depends on how you
look at it what exactly your objective
for marriage you see most people they
have their own their own objectives and
their own idealistic uh dreams about
marriage so for those who are just
thinking of uh pleasure and uh uh uh uh
love passionate love and so on they
would go after just The Superficial
probably image Beauty uh passions and
stuff like that for those who are more
serious into it they look into what is
beyond that image of course we suggest
and we recommend to have all good
qualities in your spouse if you can but
the prophet Muhammad himself he
suggested he said that people usually
they marry women for different qualities
and he counted four of them he said
number one for their for for their
beauty for their wealth for their
lineage means of of of the respectable
you know family and also for the
religion for their faith mean when you
say faith talking about faith and good
character then he
said means if you can't find that
religious person then go ahead don't
miss that may you be that's the best
quality that the best quality and even
for men he suggested to parents and
Guardians when if you when you receive
someone prospective husband to your
daughter who is uh uh religious and have
a good character you should not say no
to this person why is that because this
religious person he he he holds these
principles of justice of mercy and if he
loves her he will be so generous with
her but if he does not like her he's not
going to be unjust so what's better if
the guy comes to marry the daughter he's
a doctor PhD but he's missing the salad
and his uh you know faith is not that
high he's like what they call a Ramadan
Muslim but he's a doctor but then you
you got the other brother you know he's
making ends he he's doing okay but he
makes the five times prayer he has the
TAA the consciousness of his creator
what do you do I would absolutely choose
the faithful one the faithful one
because if he's faithful sincere about
his faith he's going to be faithful and
sincere for my wife this guy's a doctor
though it doesn't matter he can read her
Paul if she got a a condition he can
help her out yeah sure but what if he
what if he doesn't really respect my my
daughter what if he's not going to
really take this you know to a
professional you can say look this is my
son-in-law Dr uh uh Parker Dr Hussein is
not going to help my daughter and her
relationship with with her spouse it's
all about it's all about you know uh
being happy with each other that's the
most important thing and what really
brings happiness to the life of of
people mostly is that being so uh uh
happy about the relationship with God
number one because if you do so you have
that peace of mind and peace in that
heart and that's when you become you if
you're faithful to your lord you're
going to be faithful to your spouse why
is that because you believe in this it's
a message and you believe that marriage
is is is a a religious institution that
be initiated by God in the Quran Allah
subhana wa tal called
it and I would like to make a closing on
this means strong Covenant God called in
the Quran called marriage a strong
Covenant which means it's not something
that's you know you you you miss you you
miss with you play with you cannot do
that it's not about you know convenience
now uh you know I like this lady so I'm
going to get married to her and then few
few months months later you're going to
go for divorce why because you're done
it's not about this
it's marriage was made to be continuous
relationship between a husband and wife
and therefore it was it was observed as
a means religious Covenant God is
overlooking all these relationships and
therefore you see the regulations of
marriage are found in the Quran in the
tradition of the Prophet Muhammad they
were not left for people to go and
regulate for themselves otherwise people
they're going to be biased against each
other men will be biased against women
and women probably will take advantage
in certain times against men so what's
the solution it was always preserved in
the faith itself so it is
indeed and people should respect
marriage to be a strong religious
Covenant I want you to please can you
give inshallah to the parents and to the
youth give us some advice and some
closing
comments Alam he recommended that for
those young people if you can't if you
have the financial and the physical
ability to get married you should not
spare a moment and you should go and go
and uh and propose and if you are not
able to do so he recommended another
solution temporarily at least and that
is to go for fasting because fasting CH
gives again uh the person
self-discipline so it teaches you to
discipline yourself and observe the
consciousness of God in your lifetime so
in order not to fall into these mistakes
and Haram and for the parents I would
like to recommend and suggest to make
things easier for our youth those young
people right now they're suffering from
high daries and Mah and high expenses of
marriages and therefore they're trying
to wait longer and longer in order to
get that it's not about you know
cultural event that you do in order to
just to be proud of front of the public
it's going to be one day and one night
and people probably they would re that
night regret that night for the rest of
their lives so make it easier for our
kids and make it easier for them I
understand that you would like them to
be responsible and they should be
responsible and I also recommend that
you don't really help anyone who's
completely irresponsible but we need to
help them to understand the concept of
responsibility the concept of in a house
and to be a family person make things
easier for them and Allah the and Allah
subhana put Baraka in their marriages he
was the one the prophet sallam said
that means the less the more bar
blessing will will you will find in this
marital relationship
alhamdulillah sh thank you so much for
the
thank you thank you
alhamdulillah like to thank all our
viewers who tuned in for another episode
on The Dean show trying to help you
understand and see how Muslims tackle
these very important issues today we
covered marriage inshallah we'll have
the shake back again for another Hot
Topic please visit the website check out
our video page other topics that we've
covered until then we'll see you assalam
alaykum peace be unto you
oh