uh there are a few questions that are
asking you know about um my own life and
um I don't usually talk about myself um
but I just wanted to say just to make it
clear to you that alhamdulillah um I
embraced Islam myself after 20 years of
being a non-muslim uh born in the United
States I've lived in Canada and Jamaica
and Saudi Arabia and I'm now living in
South Africa and basically I'm not you
know I'm a field worker and and and a
person doing research and involved in
daah so that that's the best way to
describe uh um myself I I wouldn't say
convert we're not using that term we're
saying revert because we're actually
coming back home again uh to the
original F that Allah subhana T put us
upon what I would like to say concerning
um the situation of the Muslims here and
some of the questions that I have
received um after this lecture is that
your response you know to what I have
said uh is similar to responses that
Muslims had in Canada in South Africa
and America and especially throughout
the Western countries and that is that
behind the veil
uh of our outward Islam we are in a
great crisis and we need to look at this
in a positive way we need to look at as
a challenge to to ourselves as Muslims
and and not to feel depressed and and
and and overcome by it because it is
part of the Shan's way to try to stop
Islam and to put out the light of Allah
subhana wa tala abuse is a reality and
for a long time there's been Denial in
our community there are many people who
are crying in their homes and they're
crying for somebody to stand up against
this and if any Muslim comes uh in
contact with abuse um then the prophet
sallam has
said if any of you sees evil then change
it with his
hands if he can't do that then with his
tongue
if he can't change it with his tongue by
saying something go to somebody else do
something to stop it then at least you
feel it in your heart but that is the
lowest form of faith and so um I want to
uh open up the lines especially with um
the brothers and sisters here in the
Islamic organizations and that those
individuals who are interested to set up
a social service center a practical
Social Service Center then inshallah in
the future future uh uh if Allah gives
life I would be willing to return uh to
sit with the brothers and sisters um to
go over the details about how to set up
a functional uh Social Service Center
right now there are individuals who are
in the field and um the organization of
isna brother Abu
Hamza sister um shiras and others uh who
are standing up um they are handling
some of these problems there are other
people and other organizations also so I
would say that some of the questions are
so deep some of the points of discussion
are so personal that I wouldn't be able
to read these things publicly it has to
be handled by a
counselor and so I would uh request that
you call um to the organization of isna
um and if there are any other uh uh
social service agencies they should make
themselves known people who have these
skills they should come forward now to
us and to the leadership to try to
handle some of these problems another
great area of questioning um which I
believe the the study circles that that
that are going on in the different
Islamic centers um such as isna and
other places will handle especially for
the women in terms of their dress is the
fact that um our address of modesty set
covering the private parts male and
female should um be practiced in the
Masid and outside of the Masid it's not
something that we do when we just make
Salat and then we we we we transform
become these
Transformers but we should have one
personality just as we said for the
Youth right Bal becomes
Billy right Ali becomes Al remember that
it can happen for the
adults where Muhammad can become MO
and he can change up when he goes to the
business or she could change up also
after she finishes making Salah and so
um it is
recommended who wrote a
book muslima The the hijab of the the
Muslim woman is one of the best
summaries with Clear DE to show the
limits in terms of the dress and it
shows that um it is permissible for a
woman to expose her fa
and her hands however those women who
are covering more than that may Allah
subh make it easy for them and they are
actually in line with the wives of the
Prophet Salli wasallam and um it is
permissible in Islam to do that the
clothing that we do wear if we are
covering our bodies and if the man is
covering from above his navl uh to below
his knee uh and especially insulat he's
covering over his chest our clothing
should not be seethrough
and it should not be skin tight you know
this spandex generation that I was
talking about uh where people are
actually covered up but they're naked
this is right in line with the Hadith of
the Prophet wasallam who predicted that
that these days would come so it should
not be skin tight it should not be H you
know shining shining colors uh it should
not be woman shouldn't be having perfume
and going outside which is which is uh
attracting uh to the men and we should
not be following along blindly and apish
after the styles of the westerners or of
the CF and really East and West has has
ended now it's Global now we shouldn't
be following the non-muslims in their
Fashions but we should be strong enough
to stick to our own Fashions and our own
Styles in a sense pleasing Allah subhana
tala and to be as simple and as humble
as we can uh in our dress also
concerning work this is a question that
is coming up constantly and there may be
different opinions uh that SC have the
ideal situation um if we have our own
territories and our own lands is that
basically the responsibility of
providing for the family is really on
the man and so he is the one who is
burdened to go out to work we don't
necessarily look at work as being a
privilege or work as being you know the
means of worth of an individual because
you goow out and work in a factory and
so modesty has to be maintained and and
those fames where the man is basically
taking care of the responsibility and
fulfilling his rights these are the
families that have the most success when
the man takes part of his responsibility
and he puts it on his
wife makes her go out to work he forces
her to go out to work and then he comes
home and he and he thinks he wants to be
the king of the house it doesn't work
like that because that was his responsib
na was on him he was supposed to do it
but we have the case of a man who goes
out to work and he comes back um his
wife come comes back at 4:30 she had to
work she goes to the
factory she arrives at
4:30 he arrives at
5:30 he kicks his feet up on the chair
where's my
food okay now she turns around she's
been listening to the women's Liberation
all day at the factory and she says you
cook the
dinner and then it's World War III
so the problem develop why are you
forcing her to go out to work that's not
her responsibility even if you look at
Sharia technically speaking it's not
even her responsibility to be doing
household
chores if you really look into the
Sharia you'll find that now we know with
a division of labor more than likely she
would be but it's not actually her
responsibility she has to take care of
the children she nurtures the children
she she she she takes care of makes that
care that the children are standing on
their feet okay so really these are the
families that are the most successful
also now what is happening we need
expertise in the Muslim Community we
need to have do female doctors we need
to have
teachers we need to have a number of of
of of of professional jobs to be done by
women how are they going to get this
knowledge we don't have the ideal
situation and so um and Allah knows best
and you may get different opinions on
this but if a woman is is is is able to
continue wearing her her Islamic uh
dressing her clothing she's covering
herself she's able to make her Salah she
is not sacrificing her Dean and she is
going out you know to do a study that is
needed by the community not just to make
money then you know with protection and
and you know and and with support of the
community um um we had been allowing the
sisters to do this um because we had the
case of people who were saying
um they did not want the sisters to go
out to University at
all in the second breath the brother
said I want a a female doctor for my
wife a Muslim so I said okay brother if
you want a female Muslim doctor who's
supposed to learn this or where you
going to get her from if she doesn't go
to the university to learn medicine you
see so therefore we have to use hikma
and we have to balance ourself until we
move towards the level where we have own
Society our own State you know then we
then our our division of labor you know
can be easier for us because we will
have this type of setup so we have to
use wisdom when we are doing this but in
the event that that a woman has to
sacrifice her Dean then it is not worth
going out to the cfun because there are
many problems that are happening on the
jobs sexual problems even non-muslim
women have been uh complaining about
abuse and rape and all types of things
that are going on outside of the society
the men also need to consider covering
their
AAS and this is a problem that has
happened in our community and I see that
it also could exist here where the men
are so particular about the women
covering their outer and then they bend
down to make Salah and their shirt is
way up on their back their pants are so
tight you can see their whole bodies and
you know they are wearing any type of
clothing that they want to wear so
covering of the outer and modesty and
lowering the Gaze is for male and for
female concerning the the government in
Afghanistan and in any part of the world
I would recommend that you get somebody
from Afghanistan or somebody who's been
in Afghanistan to answer this question
for you because it is not fair for
anybody to to make a comment about
Muslims if you don't have direct
information you'll hear positive you
hear negative we used to say in America
though that if the CNN if those people
in so-called Authority are against you
then you must be doing something right
you must be doing something right so um
I I would suggest for this question to
be answered properly we need to get
somebody who's been inside the country
and who really knows what is going on
who can answer this this question
properly you'll notice that in terms of
the war against Muslim women I didn't go
into details concerning what is
happening with the West cuz I think it
is very clear to us in terms of the the
media attacks in terms of physical
attacks in France and other parts of the
world what is going on we're seeing it
all the time but but the
struggle of the internal Muslims that is
the one that we haven't really brought
out into the open and so I pray that
Allah subhana T would help us because
you as we say in America the cat is out
the bag and so we need to now deal with
this situation and and and and come away
from denial and try to stay as close as
we can to the of the Prophet s wasallam
and we have to ask Allah to forgive us
because we're living in
as we are living outside of an Islamic
State and we we are in a state of
weakness and we have to ask Allah to
make it easy for us that we can move
closer and closer toward the
Shar in terms of you know the the the
praying of the women inside of the Masid
um you know this is a question that has
come up and um a number of people asked
about this and we have an in South
Africa and I don't know if it's here too
there are some masjids who don't even
have a space for the women to pray
inside of and really the prophet sallam
said in a number of
differents this comes in many different
ways do not prohibit women from coming
to the Masid but their homes are better
for them now some uh Scholars will just
give you the second part of the Hadith
and they say their homes are better for
them them okay but it is saying don't
prohibit them from coming to the Masid
now we don't have time to go into
details and the classes can handle the
details but the key point is the assle
is the Masid or the basis is the mashid
should have a place for women and if
there is peace in the land if if if it
is possible for them to come out they
should be able to come out to to enter
with their own entrance and to have a
place in the Masid where they can pray
and especially in these countries it is
preferable for women to go sometimes to
to to to the jam to hear the to come
around Muslims because our homes are no
longer islands of Islam that television
that that oneeyed Beast inside of the
house is actually making our homes like
the the the like places of kufur of
disbelief if however there is
FNA if there is danger in the land if
there is some Force some evil which
which can harm the faith of the women or
or or put them in danger then it is
permissible for the leadership to ask
them to stay home and we see this in the
time ofar and you'll see it in some
other points in Islamic history but the
basis is they should be allowed to go to
the Masjid and if it's possible to have
classes in the center right is fairly
peaceful it seems to be fairly peaceful
here in the city then it is encouraged
that there are as many Act activities
for the Sisters as possible so they can
be educated and they can be part of the
Islamic movement and especially in daah
sisters should be trained in the dawa as
well because if a woman accepts Islam
like last night who's going to teach her
the brothers many brothers would like to
teach her but the problem
is that's where the Shayan can come in
right that's dangerous so if she if she
Embraces Islam if we have sisters who
are trained who know the da who know the
then then then she can be processed into
Islam in the proper way and she's
protected instead
of to be handling her on her first days
within
Islam another question um
uh is saying that
um is a female Khalifa possible and um
these are little bit far away from the
topic that that I gave but basically um
uh the is basic Al handled by uh by the
by by men and um uh it is a position um
that requires the leading of Salat and
that requires the leadership of the male
Community as well as the female of the
whole society the the focus of the
society is on the leader and so um you
will find that that the fukah basically
made one of the conditions of the
Khalifa is that that he is male also in
terms of women involved in singing and
nids that and then it is uh uh uh the
the Islamic position that they should
not be singing openly uh in public if
they are making statements you know
which are that not have a voice that is
a singing voice then then in some cases
there is allowed to be H H exchange
between male and female because it it is
reading some something Islamic uh or um
you know it is not dealing with um you
know singing and and that changing of
the voice so it is the Islamic position
for them not to be involved in that
um there's another question which is
dealing with a sister who whose husband
is a revert and still new in the Deen
and he has fluctuations in in his Iman
and she is unsure whether he will be a a
good strong Muslim or not um what I
would like to
say is that
um being born a Muslim isn't necessarily
the criteria of success in this world in
some countries some people believe that
if you're born in a Muslim family then
you're a real Muslim if you're not born
in a Muslim family then you're sort of
like in one day and out the other day
Iman Rises and falls and all of us are
subject to points where our IM is high
and at points where our IM is low
the were not
Muslims used to drink alcohol and and
torture Muslims but he he became one of
the greatest Muslims in Islamic history
and so therefore it is not a criteria
whether that person is born as a Muslim
whether he will be successful or a good
husband he has to be treated like
anybody else he has to be given and and
if there's a continued problem with him
this is where the W comes in the W in
the marriage is not just to sign the
contract and to give away his daughter
or his sister or his niece or whatever
it is the
W should be watching that marriage and
if she's having a problem call in the W
call in the Imam call a counselor talk
about it the important issue one of the
important uh uh ways of coming out of
our problems today we need to discuss
the problem we need to establish
sh where we discuss the issues openly we
we open up the book of Allah open up the
sun of the Prophet s wasallam use this
as the base and and and and deal openly
don't hold things inside of your
yourself because when you hold it in
yourself this is when abuse comes and
this is when
the gives the person more strength to do
evil because you don't stand up to that
person you have to stand up Allah is the
one who controls life and death and and
and and and and the family members
should remember when you give your
daughter in
marriage you're not giving her
away and and as though she's dead she's
gone this is in Hinduism they put the
dot on their head and they're gone this
is not our
concept it continues on the relation
continues on and you have to protect her
and if there is a sister who has
accepted Islam and does not have a wi
the prophet Sall wasallam
said that the sulan or the authority the
ruler or or the people in Authority in
the area should assign people who are
married to be the W for the sisters who
are
new Muslims this a very important
institution that must develop in the
community to protect them so the family
plays a role after the marriage there
was one brother who came from the Sudan
actually and um he said that uh in his
village when the man or his family what
they used to do if the man was going to
marry somebody in their family they
bring him for
dinner and then he sits down with the
men and she serves the food okay so then
he his contact is made okay so he sees
her serving the food and you know and
the brothers and the the father is there
after uh um they're finished and and the
agreement is made yes he wants to marry
her yes she wants to marry him then the
men take him and and they beat him up
now they don't break his bones but they
just give him a little Force right they
give him some force and the father says
if you touch my daughter this is what
you're going to
get
so he never
forgets he never forgets for the rest of
the
[Music]
marriage Western Society tells us that
polygamy in Islam is against the way of
things please explain this issue
of of of marrying more than one wife a
man marrying more than one wife um you
know is something which is
it's something we should know in Islam
it's it's a Bas Allah subh has made it
permissible for a man to marry four
women but the condition is Justice he
must be able to to to do justice in the
marriage if he can't do justice then he
should only marry one and so this is the
basis in Islam and this is not a point
of discussion whether it's permissible
or not what is the point of discussion
is whether the brothers are capable of
doing it or not and in many cases
unfortunately they're not capable and
abuse has happened within our community
but this should not deny those
relationships that are really meaningful
relationships which are which you know
which are plural marriages it is
possible to have meaningful
relationships and um we have to now move
closer toward the Islamic model of
things at the same time we have to be
sensitive to to to to the problems of
the society the the economic problems
the psychological problems the cultural
problems before a move like that is made
and this is where counselors come in
this is where marriage education comes
in what happens many times we have the
wrong concept of marriage when we go
into the marriage we also have our own
cultures and we expect certain things of
a women or a woman or a man in our
cultures but in another culture it may
not be like this so we have to have
marriage counseling and it would be
important to establish a service with
where the people sit with the Imam or
with somebody before they get married
and they're counseled before they
actually go into the marriage and try to
understand something about the culture
of the person who you're
marri um is it permissible uh to take or
give uh a gift for a woman who is not a
close or a lift for a woman who is not a
close relative alone in my car the
prophet Sall wasallam said that if
you're alone if you go outside you know
if a man and woman go outside together
then the third party is
Shayan so um whether you're in a car or
whether you're walking in the woods
whatever it is the Shayan can penetrate
your car even if it is a
BMW he can penetrate it so therefore you
should not be alone don't be alone
always always have the third party uh
when you're carrying somebody who is not
Mah who is not within your uh your your
close
relationship um you mentioned that woman
should have their own property in the
case of Separation uh to have their own
uh here they will have 65% of the assets
um uh you know when when the divorce
comes on now this may be a problem
because now there's a difference between
the Sharia law and the law in the
society and what happens now another
point which is very very essential for
success in marriage is that when we're
being married you should have in your
contract shut conditions so you are
allowed to write in certain conditions
and so what is what happened in some of
our marriages is that the people wrote
in the conditions that in the event of
Separation our wealth would be divided
up According to Islamic law and so they
put this with a lawyer as a a condition
a legal condition that they sign for an
affidavit that they signed for um before
they got married and that was you know
they were able to use that in Canada I'm
not sure whether that is possible here
but it is something that needs to be
explored with a
lawyer okay there is another question
that is saying uh you said that one
should not make a joke of divorce what
happens if a husband and wife act in a
drama
together in a the scene the husband
divorces his wife please that's the
first time I ever heard that
one may maybe this is Australia it's
allowable in Australia or something I
don't know um really toak is serious man
toak is serious and and and I would even
avoid in a drama because the Hadith is
saying you say it and joke it's
serious so you know if you know have
somebody else in that drama to be the
one you say Tock to don't even say it in
joke this is how serious that word
is uh another question uh is saying uh
how do you stand up against a government
non-islamic who is starting a war
against women wearing the veil are there
any human rights associations which
Muslim women can refer to help in in
similar matters okay um uh this is a
problem that we're facing this is where
Unity is important and there may be
different approaches to Islam there may
be groups that emphasize different
aspects of Islam but we are all
under then we should be able to at least
unite and have a major umbrella of
organizations or imams who can come
together and put you know questions on
the table and and have Unity for certain
issues and and and when it comes to uh
uh any government attacking Muslims the
community needs to unite and go in the
streets have your own
lawyers have your pressure groups
there's a group in America called care c
a i r and they are doing an excellent
job in terms of if Muslims are having
problems on the job then this is an
organization that has lawyers it has
public relations people and so if for
instance there is a statement of
discrimination against Islam at a
factory then the K will then contact you
know the head of the factory and we'll
complain to them and we'll demand that
those that statement be taken back and
will threaten Court action or
demonstration and it has proven to be
highly successful within the society
because many times the reason why
Muslims are under attack is because
nobody will stand up for them no there's
no organization to do that so it is
advisable for a defense organization to
be set up you know where Muslims can
have that type of uh protection and it's
a legal thing it's an open thing it's
nothing that has to be hidden it's not
an underground terrorist group that's
going to blow up the building or
anything like that it's out front right
and it's very important to help our
brothers and
sisters it says brother we have a
problem when it comes to Brothers taking
their wives out uh can you comment on
this issue well you know um really um
Brothers should spend more time with
their families and I know it's nice to
be with the boys and to play ping pong
and talk and you know whatever it is but
really it is a
responsibility it's a responsibility of
the husband to spend some time with his
wife and with his children the prophet
Sall wasallam who's the best example
right he used to run races with with his
wife
especially he used to sew his own
clothes can you sew Brothers used to sew
right he used to sweep the floor right
play with children be part of the house
and he was receiving Revelation from
above seven heavens and so if he can do
that why can't we spend time quality
time put it into your schedule to spend
quality time with your family and Allah
subh tal inshallah will give you a great
reward uh another question is saying my
sister was informed of her divorce
through a solicitor without her
knowledge of a divorce and even without
a previous
problem uh how how come an Islamic uh uh
how how come an Islamic Court in in an
Arabic country accepts this is this
divorce
Hal okay um this is really something
that needs to be handled all of the
details need to be handled but but the T
I mean it should be you know said it is
a it is saying it um and at least her we
you know or herself somebody should have
heard this um but really for the details
of this you really need to sit down with
an Imam you know to to really look at
the situation and and everything that is
being
involved
um
it says I understand the concept of
segregation but should there be a wall
so that sisters can't even see the Imam
in Juma you know really um to be honest
with you in the time of the Prophet
Salli wasallam there was no physical
barrier that was the best generation of
course they had tawa and self-control
now according to the society you know
some people would have you know a
complete uh wall some people would have
a half one where the sister could see
from the top she could see the Imam but
but it covers the bottom right in the
mashid we had we had a section where
sisters could be totally separated and
we had another half one where if they
sit down they could see are the Imam but
but the their bottoms were covered okay
that that's one way out of it in one Mas
I was in I found out what the problem
was man cuz I was wondering why are
these brothers you know you know pushing
this issue we were in this place called
the jamy mosque and the sister who
somebody who's here from Toronto uh
knows what I'm talking she she's from
the Jammy mosque you see it tonight and
um so the mosque was a church before and
the brother the sister's section was
high up on the right way up okay and so
the brothers the is this way so the
brother said to me brother you got to
put up a veil on top of that cover it
off it's a
fitna so I said okay it's a fitna um the
the is that way man you know you're
telling me it's a fitner right then one
day I came and I saw him sitting on the
stairs looking up at the
sisters okay so the problem was his K
was
upstairs see and secondly he needs a
veil on his own
eyes that was the solution to his
problem
man you see so many times what we do we
sort of like you know pass we we we
blame the the sisters for everything
Brothers you know lower your gaze man
lower your
gaze that's what we're supposed to do
lower your
gaze another question is saying brother
what character a should we look for in a
man to ensure we won't be oppressed by
them after marriage um it's important
for the the the W or somebody whoever's
responsible for the sister to really sit
down with this uh brother who was about
to be married and and have have
discussions with him and it is allowed
with a chaperon or or a third party even
for them to to to to to to go somewhere
and to talk as long as somebody else is
there once the intention is made now
from country to Country it might vary
but some of the sahabah you know there's
reports of the sahaba were even allowed
you know one he he he hid behind a tree
and he watched her uh um you know
cleaning and cooking and stuff like that
so so some contact is
allowed but um you know one of the one
of the things that that we did is that
you know we had enough discussions that
we saw we we you know the person who was
the W disagreed with with the brother
and in disagreement when he starts
arguing with you then you start to see
something about his
personality cuz many people can be very
nice and and calm and but when you
disagree with them they
change so that needs to be checked out
the person's history needs to be checked
out right and you can't just say oh
masah
you know his hair is so nice and he he
he says the had so nice you can't do
that man cuz you don't know the person's
background the prophet
said haste is from the devil so
therefore you need to have uh uh you
know before you're getting married you
need to check out the history of the
male and the female even now and I'm
sorry to say it we need to check out
each other's medical
history you have to take blood test man
let you know that family completely
because unfortunately with HIV being
around it's spreading all over the place
and I had a case this is a real case
where the brother was out in the dun and
he was you know you know playing around
and everything and then he became
Islamic and then he was telling
everybody you know your pants is too uh
low and your beard and you know he was
the model Muslim brother now okay and
then he comes to me and he said brother
Abdullah and he was a doctor this is the
fitner the test that he was under he
said when I was out in society I
contracted genital
herpes he had herpes okay which is
contagious and he said um but I want to
get married and uh should I tell my wife
before I'm married said brother what are
you going to do man he's going to he's
going to go all the way and and get her
and she's just about ready to say I do
and he says oh by the
way I happen to have a contagious
disease no he has to you know on both
sides you need to be very clear and open
with the medical history and again this
is where the wi comes in uh to help uh
in the marriage it says we have lots of
resources and organizations in Melbourne
how can we unite these organizations
beyond the uh the diversity and where
should the unity stop uh and as I was
saying it's important for us to have you
know some sort of M if there are certain
issues that affect the whole Community
then we need to be able to come together
even though there may be different
emphasis that we have we're all part of
the same umah we're part of the millah
and and and we need to be able to
overcome uh some of the minor
differences and certain issues that
doesn't mean that we have to be together
in everything because there are some
groups that that are more serious about
Islam than others but at some point we
have to realize that we are part of the
same umah
and Allah knows
best um in terms of boys and girls being
mixed in the classroom um really you
know the uh when when the children are
very young um what generally happen in
Islamic schools when the children are
very young especially like under 7 years
old or something then some of the
schools will mix but once they reach
seven and especially going up by 8 n and
10 at that point there should be a
complete separation it doesn't work it
doesn't work especially when you you're
in the teenage phase of life it does not
work and so the Islamic education you
know is like that gives us the freedom
of being in the classrooms and not have
to deal with the physical changes that
that each genda is going through at that
time it says um if your husband swears
at your
parents
uh what does the religion say about
that oh should you stay with him or not
of course he shouldn't be you know doing
that um it's not necessarily I mean of
course we have to see the gravity of the
situation it's not necessarily grounds
for divorce but it's a serious problem
and a counselor should immediately come
in because something is seriously if
he's disrespecting your parents then how
can you respect the woman herself if he
disrespects her parents cuz she's part
of the parents and this concept that
that the woman or the man or the woman
especially you know when she's married
he owns her now like he owns a horse
that's not Islamic she's a she's a free
individual she has her rights under the
law of Islam and she has Independence in
Islam it says
um
also uh my husband always argues about
religion if I get him a Hadith he'll
argue until I get him the proof okay um
it's nothing wrong with with him arguing
uh debating of course it shouldn't be an
angry argument okay but if he wants
delil that's okay there's nothing wrong
with asking for de but he should
also put himself in the position if he
says do something then she could say can
I have
Del right let you know I mean if that's
what he's going to do for everything
that she's saying you see one of the key
issues in marriage is
understanding if there is understanding
between individual if you love each
other for
Allah and not just because physical
reasons not just because we're in the
same tribe or he has a lot of money or
she has a lot of money if you're in
Islamic work if you're praying together
and you have an understanding you can
overcome a lot of these problems but if
the marriage is based on material things
on physical Beauty then the shaan has
free reign to the
household and so we we all have to
review our
marriages and really try to come closer
together do things together
islamically travel you know to umah and
Hajj together
go to Masa together witness what is
happening to the Muslims do something in
in organizations helping the children of
Iraq or Afghanistan do things together
islamically and then love will come in
between you if the if the relationship
is only based on how much money did you
make this week right how pretty do you
look in the mirror and all these things
then the shaan will easily have rain
inside of your
house it said my husband husband is
married to another sister
secretly uh from me and people uh if he
secretly from me and and people if he is
a man why didn't he tell
me we have five children uh we're on
welfare and he's working
part-time okay really you know um
technically speaking it's not a
condition of marriage that he has to
inform uh his first wife however ever um
it shouldn't be a secret marriage cuz in
marriage there
isan there is announcement so it should
be known it should not be a secret
marriage why would he marry anyway
secretly why is he doing that so it's
not Islamic for him to be having a
secret marriage nobody supports secret
marriages it's not part of nikah in
Islam however um it isn't really a
condition it's not a condition for him
to ask you know for his wife to to to to
to agree you know when he marries
another wife however it is the wisdom uh
it is the understanding of Islam that
that he should discuss this with his
family even discuss it with her W or
whatever and and you know have good
reasons why he's doing that if he's
doing it secretly then something must be
wrong you know and really the W again
should step in uh to handle this
problem um in terms of that there's a
sister who knew somebody who recently
was abused and um this is where I I
would advise you to to contact the
authorities uh those in the
organizations who are are dealing with
um the the Islamic
issues um okay a lot of the questions
are repeating themselves it says
um I'm a girl and I have one year from
finishing school I want to go back to my
country and not to stay in this country
I came without without a Maham before
and I don't have one now is it
permissible okay um you know it is if it
is you know it is the Islamic way that
that she travels with the Mah some cases
there is a type of Dora uh a type of a
type of necessity that happens where she
could be taken to the airplane by by
somebody and then the other people meet
her on the other side of the airplane um
however it is you know the you know most
preferable the Islamic way that that
somebody from from the family should
come to travel with her uh when she
travels back or she travels with uh
maybe a group of sisters or something
like this this is the preferable Islamic
wayam
um the one question is saying how to
stop this type of social uh service
organization um that I was I was
speaking about and this alhamdulillah in
this community from what I understand it
has already begun there are people who
are doing counseling now putting the the
mountains on their back listening to the
problems and this is where professional
people if you're a Muslim you're a
social worker or you're a doctor or a
lawyer you should contact the leadership
in isna and other organizations give
your give some of your time to the
community some of the lawyers in our
area would even give free counseling to
some of the Muslims okay some of the
doctors would even give free care to
some of the Muslims we have to you know
dedicate some of our time to our
community because in many cases it was
the community that helped you to get
where you are
so professionals should come forward to
deal with these problems you know that
are happening with with our in our
community
um also in terms of uh of of of
generally in the daah um I encourage
that the brothers and sisters also to
begin to you know uh in a in a more in
an organized fashion I know it's
happening already to to try to work
together alhamdulillah the group in is
has you know signs and they're coming
out on the public but this da needs to
go openly and we need to have more uh
programs in the open and go even into
the reservations to the Aboriginal
people and to spread this this message
uh you know to everywhere in this island
inshallah the last point I wanted to
make um this was a very uh beautiful
statement that the brother has said and
I wanted to to end uh uh uh with this
and the brother said asalam alaykum I am
a man destined to change my ways I have
for too long thought wrongly about women
they are the jewels of Islam I ask for
forgiveness and I promise to treat my
wife as an equal nothing more and
nothing less and hopefully she won't use
her taiichi on
me and you know he he he thanked uh uh
the organizers uh for this session
tonight and I pray that Allah subh would
accept you uh uh in this uh uh uh
statement that you have made may Allah
accept your your Toba for anything that
has gone wrong and may Allah forgive us
all for what we are saying and what we
are doing and bring us together as a
community may Allah have mercy upon this
um and protect the honor and dignity of
the women of the um of Muhammad sallam
sub