check this
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out welcome to the mailbag on The Dean
show I'm youf Estis and for the next few
minutes we'd like to talk about some of
the mail that we receive here on a
regular
basis some of the letters that we
receive from you are very stimulating
and cause us to reflect and go back to
the sources of Islam so that we're able
to determine exactly what the answer to
these questions are I received one today
that is actually representative of a lot
of the emails that we get talking about
Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and
his marriage to his wife Aisha they're
concerned often in these uh letters and
emails to us about the age of Aisha and
they're asking us for instance in this
case we'd like to know is it true that
the prophet Muhammad peace be upon Him
married his wife AA when she was a child
and if so what does this mean and how do
we understand that about child Brides in
Islam the questioner goes on but it
seems to continue in this same way what
we want to begin with is to tell you
that Islam is always about rights and
limits never is it permissible in Islam
to take advantage of anybody else one
over another is not acceptable in
Islam Allah subhana wa ta'ala God
Almighty has told us clearly that he
does not
oppress and he hates it when we oppress
and he forbids forbids humans to oppress
each other so if you're imagining some
form of Oppression going on here you can
put your mind of these this is not the
case let us now investigate what was the
condition of the people and what were
their traditions and Customs at the time
of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon
him the Arabs of the Arabian peninsula
in those days used to marry a girl at
any age there was no limit on it because
it wasn't about their sexual intercourse
or something like this it was about
establishing the right of marriage of a
man getting to marry a girl and marrying
into a family often it was about
tribalism and and there was little if
any stipulation that the girl had any
say so or any
rights as a matter of fact that was the
last and least of their considerations
of whether or not the woman had anything
to say about the matter additionally in
those days it was considered a shame on
a family if they had a child that was a
girl born to them so the men would
actually take some of some of the men
would take these little girls when they
were born newborn babies into the desert
and bury them alive and leave them that
was considered the man manly thing to
do and when a child was orphaned let's
say there was a little girl or father
passed away her parents died then a man
could come along and claim that little
girl and say I'm going to marry this
girl and take all the wealth that goes
along you know that she would
inherit additionally uh people would
take the wealth of children boys or
girls and mix it with their own money
and claim they were improving the
condition for the child until they were
old enough to make decisions for
themselves and obviously benefiting
themselves by this mingling of
funds so when Islam came it did come in
stages it wasn't all at once that
everybody just had to drop everything
and do all these Commandments but it did
come first of all to recognize that it
is God who has the authority over man
and this was the Ted or the monotheism
that was so much uh influential
throughout the teaching of Muhammad
peace be upon him and here he was now
saying that it's God's Authority showing
you how to behave especially in in this
idea of being
married so there's a chapter now in the
Quran about women it's not the only
place in the Quran you find about
dealing with women not at all but for
sure if you want to look quickly and
find an issue marriage the treatment of
women wives in general wives
specifically and then divorce you can
find a lot of this in this same
chapter but now about divorce we do have
another chapter for that but what we're
going to focus on now is about this
issue of age of
Aisha so in chapter 4 the women when I'm
talking about you go to verse number 19
and it says oh you who
believe you you cannot inherit women
against their will meaning that you
cannot take from them their inheritance
and meaning also that you cannot marry
them without their permission or their
consent and they have to be old enough
for the age of consent this is very
clear a man could not marry a girl he
could only marry a woman a woman meaning
that she's old enough to have children
and old enough mature enough in her mind
to make the these kinds of
decisions now let us turn to the subject
at hand we're talking about the age now
of
Aisha only Aisha herself is telling us
about this she is telling us for her own
words what her age was when her mother
came to her and she was playing outside
playing outside in the dirt with her
toys or whatever her mother comes to her
and says come in the house she was 6
years old
mother takes her into the house to see
her father her father is there offering
her hand in marriage now to Prophet
Muhammad peace be upon Him offering the
hand of his daughter to the prophet who
is his best friend and this was a custom
a tradition in their society so it was
definitely well within the uh limits of
the society they lived in it was
approved totally but look at this it
wasn't accepted by Muhammad how do we
know how do we know well because if you
keep reading you'll see that she went
back outside and continued playing and
this is to indicate what that although
this is very much appreciated and
accepted in at least in intention yet
because the girl's not old enough yet
she must be the one to decide that's why
you find another Hadith or saying or
tradition
in the same book of bukari that says a
different age well you might wonder well
how is it 6 years old or is it 9 years
old maybe they turned the number upside
down you know a six and a nine you could
reverse it but that's not possible in
the Arabic because when you see the
number nine in Arabic you see the number
six they're not the same as they are
with the English letters we used today
so that wasn't the case not at all in
fact she says a similar incident takes
place on another occasion again her
mother's taking her inside and offering
her hand in marriage the father is
offering the hand in marriage to Prophet
Muhammad peace be upon
him and it is at this time now she's
older and she's uh evidently now able to
make the decision but in any case they
did not have any marriage until she gave
consent and she had to be old enough or
they couldn't have done it so that's
number one put your mind at easy about
that number two is that even when they
got married she didn't go to live with
him until she was old enough to have
babies that's also a condition in
understanding of in Islam this doesn't
happen and even then he took his time
with her and they she said herself
listen to this that they used to run and
play and enjoy being together and she
used to beat him in the races she said
until she got older when she got fatter
she said and then he used to beat her in
the races
she talks about having a lot of fun
together and growing and and enjoying
his company being with him and they grew
in their mutual love and respect for
each other very
much in her whole life she never said
any disparaging remarks against her
husband it was only the most glowing of
report that comes from her about Prophet
Muhammad peace be upon him although he
died while she was still a young lady
lady she continued throughout her life
the rest of her life with full honor and
respect for her husband she never
remarried she never had any boyfriends
or callers coming by or any of the rest
of it she became also one of the
greatest of the scholars especially in
the area of telling us about women's
needs and women's conditions and the
things that Islam is providing for women
we know a lot about the case of women
and Islam lamb from
AA may Allah be pleased with her
additionally I would like to
mention that when you consider how much
he loved her that when he was dying he
asked to be with her he wanted to be
with her and he made a point to be there
and she would come in and put the towel
on his head when he had such a fever and
she would try to co him down and then he
would take it off and he would talk for
a minute and then put it back on and
this is recorded in some of the sayings
also of Muhammad and then when he passed
away he passed away with his head in her
lap now this shows a great love from
both of them yet she didn't wail and cry
and tear it or hair or any of the rest
of it which was accustom by the way of
the ignorant pagan people instead she
understood that he was going to his Lord
she also understood throughout the rest
of her life that she also would go to
her Lord and that they would be together
again in Paradise living happily ever
after I'd like you now to contrast this
story that I've just told you with the
story of Romeo and Juliet the story that
we usually associate with Valentine's
Day the story that we usually associate
with true love and young love but in
reality the story that Shakespeare
presents for us is no match for the
beautiful story that I've just told you
because those children and they were
children they were very young teenagers
perhaps 12 14 years old Romeo and Juliet
they were going against the wishes of
their parents and sneaking behind their
back and they were not married there was
no marriage involved it was just an
affair that they were having and then
one committed suicide and then the other
followed so this is the tragic result of
the kind of love that's not acceptable
in Islam there is no boyfriend
girlfriend relationship and there's
certainly no sneaking behind the backs
of the parents everything in Islam is
out in the open and everything in
marriage is done by contract and there
is never any sex before marriage so put
it in perspective and understand that
this is the story that Shakespeare
probably wishes that he would have told
instead of Romeo and
Juliet I hope this was able in some way
to put your mind at ease and relax about
this subject because the prophet
Muhammad peace be upon him was in fact
sent as a mercy to all of the man kind
and
Jin until next time from here on the
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peace e