do you wna know what makes knowled grow
then everybody watch de show the dean
show alhamdulillah Alum peace be with
you I'm Eddie your host you are watching
the dean show when we come back we're
going to be talking to ibraim shik
Ibrahim zadan he has his own section at
the Deans show.com you can go back to
see who he is his biography and all the
past shows that we've done with him
we're going to talk to him today
about patience many of us need it we
lack it sometimes we forget that this is
one of the elements that is so important
in Islam to be patient patiently staying
away from the evil patiently be doing
all the good that the Creator told us to
do so we're going to get some more
advice some encouragement to be patient
we'll be right back here on the dean
[Music]
show
Allah there's only one God mam is his
messenger
Allah
Allah there's only one God and Jesus was
his
messenger I don't know why I did that
maybe maybe it's just to break the iceam
Alum peace be with you you too greeting
of all the prophets isn't it right they
all taught pure monotheism isn't it
correct is this a lie we telling the
truth that's that's for sure the message
has been the same since the beginning
worship the Creator not his creation yes
M I'm just learning I'm a student tell
me some more didn't all the messengers
they taught don't worship God's creation
a man or a woman but worship the creator
of man and woman isn't this true it's
true and that's the first obligation on
every human being every human being know
by Nature about the creator of the
heavens and the Earth because we see the
favors of the creator of the Heaven and
the Earth around us that's why people
need the messengers for them to call
them to worship the one that they
believe in the one that provides for
them the one that creates things for
them they need to turn to him alone and
that's how simple it is without the
manipulation of other human beings
otherwise it doesn't make sense that
it's one God but then more than one
religion it doesn't make sense it's only
one religion the religion of submission
to the creator of the heavens and the
Earth no difference between white or
black
someone in the North or the South we're
all human beings from one and that is
Adam Allah subhana T created him send
them on the face of Earth to fulfill
this purpose this Noble purpose to be a
worshipper servant of the creator of the
heavens and earth that's simple one God
worship that God alone and not what he
created and he sent down a comprehensive
message for us that we need to live by
the Quran which the verba and word of
God and the example of the last and
final messenger sent to man kind so we
don't have to be you know bumping into
this and that trying to figure thing out
getting confused lost it's there we just
have to learn it and sit with people
such as yourself who can teach us and
that's why we got you here we want to
talk about patience God Almighty He
commands Us in the Quran to do so many
wonderful things to strive from Paradise
death is approaching we got to get ready
we got to prove by action talk is cheap
that we love God because he loves us
he's given us so much so now he's told
us to implement certain things that if
only the human being uses his mind he'll
see there's so much wisdom behind this
and you get a good feeling doing what
God wants you to do but now my question
is my question is Shake time is going
sometimes when you look back it seems
like time passed by went by quick when
you're in the moment some people you
know just getting up in the morning it's
tough It's like I I've done it like a
thousand times by now you know what I
mean you might get stale in it we need
some encouragement to be patient with
the prayer and then we'll go on from
there to be patient with the orders of
Allah subhana T we need to seek help
from him and as I mentioned before every
human being they seek some form of
patience if a person knows that if he
wakes up in the morning at 3:00 in the
morning for a job that would pay him a
million dollar a month I don't think
anybody would say I would just sleep and
I would go late or quit the day
everybody will go they're on it yeah
they would spend the whole night being
awake they would have to go why because
they know the certainty and the reality
of the million dollar but for the
Believers when they receive the message
from the Creator of the heavens and the
Earth and when the prophet peace be upon
him he said in the authentic Hadith if
people knows the reward in prayer and in
F prayer the early morning prayer they
would come to it even if they have to
crawl if we see the Unseen and what is
being prepared for the person people
would even have to crawl in their faces
to get to the houses of Allah to
establish the prayers we don't need to
see that with our own eyes we already
see that from the from the Revelation
from Allah subhana wa tala we already
see it we said we bear witness bearing
witness meaning that I saw with my own
eyes that there's no one worthy of
worship except Allah subhana wa tala and
that Prophet Muhammad is the final
messenger if we bear witness such a way
that means we bear witness in anything
that is being said so we need to be
patient to do that and one statement and
I think I I remember I mentioned that
before it's a beautiful statement that
we need to always remember that one of
the scholars of the religion he said if
we were ordered if Muslims were ordered
to push a mountain from its place if
this was the order of Allah and of
course this is not but if this was the
order from Allah the most high to push a
mountain from its place if you put your
trust in Allah you'll push it Subhan
Allah so if Allah subhana wa tala
ordered us to be patient to do the
orders of Allah and to stay away from
sins put your trust in Allah that he
would never let you down you will be
able to do it it's in the nature of the
human being now people they commit some
hideous acts people will murder people
we know that in Islam you cannot hurt
innocent women children or you know
Murder is one of the things that now on
a day of judgment one of the first
things a person will be accountable is
it so people because of lack of patience
they might go kill somebody because of
lack of patience they might go commit
some kind of Injustice towards somebody
oppress somebody they might end up
uttering curse words profanity getting
divorced right talk to us about some
practical examples maybe you've had you
probably get a lot of emails and people
like One once they do it now they
realize they calm down and they're like
oh man I shouldn't have done that but
what can they do when you get in that
fit of rage what do you do to like is
it's not is that is that just is it bad
to feel the rage is that normal or then
how do you control it take a deep breath
give us some examples so you don't
commit bad things hideous things evil
things then you like man I wish I didn't
do that it's too late it's a very
important point because Allah the most
high he mentioned in the Quran that when
he mention about the characteristics of
the Believers one of their
characteristics those who suppress their
anger suppress it suppress it don't let
it out that's right and that means that
whoever does not get angry he is like
and forgive me for the expression like a
donkey as IM he said right we all get
angry this is in the nature of the human
being so that's nothing bad you
shouldn't feel guilty about if you don't
see yourself getting angry that means
something wrong with you okay so you
have to get angry but the point is how
to deal with your anger Ah that's the
key question do you lose it and you act
according to your desire and your anger
or you use your mind then you know that
Allah wants something from you when
you're angry and that's why the the
steps of dealing with ones s when we're
angry it's there also in the Quran and
in the Sunnah of the Prophet Sall the
prophet s wasallam when he saw two men
arguing with each other to the extent of
which one his face became red and his
veins became clear that means he's angry
and when a person in that state he does
not know what he's doing yeah the
prophet sallam said I know something if
he said it that would go away from him
and what is
it I seek refuge in Allah from the the
cursed devil because he's the one that
blow into the person into that to make
him that Fierce fire with the anger so
we need to seek Refuge but we need not
to say it with our tongue only we need
to sincerely see it with say it with our
own hearts that we're turning to Allah
because he's the only one that can help
us in that state not ourselves we need
to seek refuge in him from the cursed
Shan if a person is standing is to sit
down as the prophet peace be said if
you're sitting down and angry lay down
and that would show those who submit
themselves to the prophet to Allah subh
T through the orders of the Prophet s
wasallam and those who would choose to
follow their desires so these are
practical steps physical steps that
nobody should say I I cannot do it no
you can't do it you can lay down and you
can sit down and you can say
but the real point is it's not just the
words it's the whole lifestyle that we
have if a person is obedient to Allah
praying the five daily prayers
practicing the patience to fulfill the
orders of Allah practicing patience to
be away from sins I think the easiest
part is that part that you're talking
about and one of the major issues and
maybe this is something that needs to be
addressed in more details that we get so
many of the questions and the issues
that people regret so much it's not
about killing or so necessarily but
about divorce people divorce a man
divorces his wife because of the moment
of anger this is not what Allah subhana
T wants from us goes back to patience
right goes back to patience and then he
would regret I didn't intend to divorce
her and I would divorce three times and
as we know this is not a joke if a
person say the words of divorce three
times on his wife that's it the marriage
is over she they cannot go back together
unless she get married to someone else
with the intentions that this is an
everlasting marriage and then if it
happened that they divorce then they can
go back together so people would come
and they would try to find a way out to
say I was angry I was this I was that so
that they would you know cancel this
divorce a disaster why because people
are not practicing this great act of
worship and that is sub
patience he said something is amazing he
said we lived the best of our life when
we were patient this was one of the
companions of last and final messenger
so the best times when we were patient
when we were practicing it let's cut out
with that we'll be right right back with
more here on the de
Show born about 60 years ago in former
Yugoslavia today's Bosnia after second
world war can you imagine today you have
one child K too much it's important that
we realize that Islam is a gift so we
believe that in the teachings of Jesus
what is left there is truth in
there but the truth has been mixed up
with paganism and with nature worship
and so Islam has given you a pure
straightforward way of approaching
[Music]
back here on the dean show we're talking
about patience the importance of
patience we lose it we it's okay to you
get like red in the face but you got to
like a lot of times they say let it out
scream maybe throw something you don't
we don't do that do we right we don't do
that okay there are a lot of
people they take an exit life gets
difficult with family with friends and
we've had people run their car into a
river commit suicide someone jumps off
the bridge drinks Drano and dies kills
kills themselves does this go back to
not having patience and committing
something that is totally foreign to
Islam there's no exit way or committing
yourself suicide this is not for
permitted definitely it's not
permissible why because this life is a
trust that Allah the most high entrusted
us with it and it's a favor from the
most high subhana tala
but when people have deficiencies in
their IM in their belief in their
certainty in the rewards from the
creator of the heavens and the Earth
then the deficiencies comes in place in
all of their life so when we talk about
patience when a person have deficiency
in patience it's because of the
deficiency in the Iman in the belief a
sin might affect one's patience that we
don't see the relationship between one
or the other that's why we need to
constantly turn to the creator of the
heavens and the Earth and be obedient to
him and ask him for all our needs
and to be physically patient in
fulfilling the orders of Allah one of
which is there is no exit to one's
problems except from the creator of the
heavens and the Earth so you can't go
jump off a bridge you can't if you lose
patience you have to witness the wisdom
of Allah why this is happening to you it
it happens from the most wise and the
most merciful this life is nothing and
it will end anyway when a person dies
person now in the grave even if he was
the most rich man on the face of Earth
he would wish to come back on the face
of Earth and be in poverty being
whatever calamities there is because now
he realized the importance of this life
to use it for the sake of Allah so a
person should never be ungrateful to
Allah subhana tala that he wants to lose
his life and this is against to what
Allah subhana T ordered us in the Quran
and the Sunnah of the Prophet instead
patience would bring joy and that's why
we have to submit if a person submit
himself and patiently fulfill the orders
of Allah and again and again we need to
say he would never fee the loss and
that's why the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasallam he said amazing is the Affairs
of the Believers if something good
happens to them they're grateful to
Allah if something bad happens to them
they are patient and they're seeking
rewards in both ways you are slave you
are not free to do whatever you want you
are servant of Allah subhana tal from
the creator of the heavens and earth
something good happy a person is Happy
something bad happens he's patient and
he's seeking rewards from his creator we
are when they say monogamous we are as
those who have submitted to the one God
those who are truly monogamous meaning
that we are the ones who don't go have
girlfriends we don't commit adultery
because we know as the creators told us
to do things the right way do it in
marriage and you'll see Society people
go out and they say they push this idea
of one husband one wife but what happens
is they got 15 different Mistresses on
the side so we know how that goes
presidents alike and politicians and all
the other people but now the question is
arising so just to kind of give an intro
to the next question the sister's asking
because we know that look if if if there
there's an Avenue there if a gentleman a
Muslim you know he's got to as they say
if you want to drink the milk you got to
buy the cow you know there's no test
driving here so the sister's saying she
said how can I be patient you know what
I mean with the co-wife she he went and
got a second wife and now she's asking
some advice is there a great reward on
this for the sister who's patient in
this circumstance for the sisters that
are in that state we need to with
witness also the wisdom of Allah subhana
wa tala and we have to separate the
feelings from the wisdom of Allah subhah
wa taala that looks into more than just
personal feelings there are so much
benefits behind the orders of Allah
subhana tal benefits for societies and
again in Islam it's not permissible to
commit adultery it's not permissible to
commit these sins so if there are women
they have to get married for them to
fulfill their Desir and the same thing
for men so what happens if there are
more women than men and this is from the
reality of the matters or even as you
said a person you know wanting to get
married to another or second and so on
this is something that Allah subhana T
permits out of the reality of the human
beings so the point is everybody all of
us on the face of Earth we have some
forms of tests and trials in our life
some people lose their legs some people
lose their eyes some people they die
some people things like this and one of
which for a wife to have a co-wife this
is one of the trials in life if this is
the only thing from the husband the
feeling of jealousy in the heart of the
first wife or the second wife that means
he's successfully being just between
both of them or being more MH if this is
the only thing why because the prophet
Allah ordered us to be just and if a
person is not just he will come in the
day of judgment with one shoulder higher
than the other because he was not just
with his wives it's a responsibility
it's not just about fulfilling the
desires it's another whole of
establishing a home structure with the
responsibility with children taking care
of them it's an act of worship that we
have to be aware of so for the sister if
this happens to her some sisters they
would just want to divorce we need they
need to be patient mhm and the brother
also need to be patiently dealing with
his wies and if she gets angry with him
he should not say this is the order of
Allah you are undermining the order of
Allah no he need to be patient with her
and you need to be kind with her because
this is a natural thing in the human
being and for her to be be patient and
knowing that this is the order of Allah
there's definitely a wisdom behind it
otherwise the second wife wouldn't agree
to be a second wife so there's a wisdom
behind it because it's from the most
high the most merciful subhana wa taala
so by practicing this type of patience
and whenever the pain in the heart comes
in place if she seeks the rewards from
Allah subhana tala with regarding to
that pain it will change to be something
better definitely and the rewards are
unlimited as we heard when it comes to
matters of the Hereafter but as long as
nobody abuse one another and use tricks
and manipulation to fulfill one's
desires and not to fulfill the orders of
Allah subhana so for this particular
case before we go on this is one of the
greatest rewards is was holding this
this jealousy in this situation for the
woman definitely and at the same time it
will have to appear this is in her
nature yeah so it's the order from Allah
subhana tala to the husband to be
patient if she shows the signs of the
jealousy then he has to be patiently
respecting them yeah and not to say how
can you do that and not understanding
the nature of his wife this is against
what the prophet himself did and the
wives of the Prophet themselves they
would show this jealousy the prophet was
paent but if if they say now look you
know uh we're not them that you'll hear
an excuse and they say well we're not
like them they were at a different level
what do you got say this is never an
excuse because it's the same thing when
Allah says in the
Quran that indeed in the prophet you
have the best example so if a person
would say I'm not like the prophet wasam
of course would not like the prophet
sallam but Allah subhana ordered us to
imitate him in everything of his Affairs
and his speech and his actions and
everything that he did and Allah subhana
wa tala made the prophet wasallam
married to his wives for the Muslim
women in our umah to imitate them
because they were the best women ever
brought to mankind so it's an order from
Allah subhana for us to follow their way
with goodness and if we are patiently
wanting the pleasure of Allah
and I'm saying that and there's no doubt
about it truthfully whoever see leave
something for the sake of Allah Allah
subhana would replace it by something
better and this is what the prophet
wasallam said so having a healthy
argument the woman gets jealous you said
that you know don't get upset about it
but is there perimeters where you don't
go out of bounds saying things curse
words cursing the individual you know
doing things that are unhealthy
unproductive so you can have a an
argument but is there some perimeters we
don't go out like foul lines right it's
in both sides when people get into
arguments and the shatan comes in
between he wants to make one side hurt
the other one so much with words words
hurt sometimes More Than Physical hurt
definitely yeah so the husband for
example would say a word to hurt his
wife you know with the word and then she
would respond with something else and
then it goes on till we know that what
happens and sometimes divorce happens or
hitting physically hitting and all of
that is not permissible whatsoever in
accept saying a bad word saying or in
physically this is not permissible this
is a major sin and for divorce to occur
just out of anger or things of that
nature this is all the works of Shan
yeah so knowing this is one thing to
have the knowledge that this is
something that is meant for us by the
Shan to do so and he's our enemy so we
stay away from that and to seek the help
from Allah subhana wa tala and again the
the wife should be patiently suppressing
her jealousy and turning to Allah not
saying suppressing it and then cause
herself to be sick no we have the best
way to complain and to to to increase
our Iman by turning to the creator of
the heavens and the Earth and asking him
sincerely to reward and to give patience
and to make the person pleased and so on
and if she slips away it is her right
this is a very important point it is her
right if she slips away that her husband
is patiently treating her with patience
because he's in charge so if she is
saying things and hurting him with words
and screaming and things like that he
can remind her of Allah T patiently
sometimes people would start doing this
but then once she attack him personally
then he forgets all about the different
mannerism and patience and then he
attacked her he attacks her also which
is all wrong Allah subhana T said in the
Quran that among your wives and your
children you might have them as enemies
to you if they order you to commit sins
and disobey Allah subhana tala even that
what Allah subhana said about what to do
with them he
said if you pardon if you forgives then
this is better for you and Allah subh is
the most forgiver let's take a break
and'll be right back with more on the de
show no problem you can take my daughter
to dinner you and my daughter and
me let me tell you something it's
natural that's the idea God created it
and he created us to have a good time we
should have a good time only with our
wives though Islam is the fastest
growing religion in the world and most
of the converts are women not men they
see that the rules of Islam instead of
constraining them the rules set them
free
stand I am not afraid to stand alone if
a li by I am not afraid to stand
alone I am not afraid to stand alone if
Li by I am not afraid to stand
alone I am not afraid to stand alone if
a lies I am not afraid of stand
[Music]
alone back here on the dean show and
we're discussing patience so we
just asked the question about the
co-wife and this is a big test but is it
true that Allah the Creator he won't put
a burden on someone that you can't bear
there's nothing orever a test that you
can't handle that's correct and this is
something that at the end ofah Allah
subh mentioned that and accepted that
from the
Companions and the and the nation of the
Prophet wasam that there is no order of
Allah subhana T that is over the
capacity of the human being we have to
endure patience and patience a person
would say has limits to it and according
to the orders of Allah nothing of the
orders of Allah that is over the limits
of the human beings and again things are
looked at into a into the bigger picture
than just our personal desire and
benefits we have to look into the
benefit of the whole um and the
community of the Muslims and be
patiently doing things that's why being
generous sometimes you have to be
generous with your time you have to give
your time you want to sleep you want to
relax but you know that there's a duty
out there that you need to help human
beings you need to have the Muslims and
so on so you give that for the sake of
Allah subhana T alone so the same thing
a person or a wife has her husband she
can be generous with that regard for the
sake of Allah subhana wa tala but again
we need to do that humbly according to
the orders of Allah not just a matter of
desire and that's it it's a matter of
establishing the religion of Islam with
its perfect way of life so does it help
having your heart always attached to the
bigger scheme of things Jenna paradise
and trying to not just focus on yourself
focus on helping and getting like you
said generosity and not just focusing on
you know like you're GNA be in this
world forever you know you can die
tomorrow and Paradise is there so you
know this will help kind of like if if
you're losing your mind for a moment you
feel like oh my God I can't take it oh
my and your head's spinning you got pop
some Xanax or something no you can take
it just relax right think about the
bigger scheme of things and change
change your whole entire life you cannot
be patient in one thing and then other
things you're not being patient great
examp okay so you have the patience for
something else you can have the patience
for you seek the patience in all of your
Affairs if you're really practicing
patience at all levels if we change our
whole high life to be true Servants of
Allah subhana T that's why when I said
sins affects our ability to be patient
if we're not patiently away from certain
sins that means we'll have deficiencies
in other levels of patience when we need
it so much so we have to adopt the whole
religion of Islam and another thing for
the for the brothers also we need to
understand that when the Iman is not in
the proper level don't expect sacrifices
so we need to build our homes based on
the IM and the faith and increase ining
it that's the foundation that's the
foundation if there are sins in the home
if there are sins committed by the
brother or by the wife or in the
household then don't don't expect that
in that one particular issue you want
your wife to be a super wife and to be
of that seeking all the rewards when
you're not seeking the rewards from
Allah being patiently obedient to Allah
subhana wa tala in all of our Affairs
you got to holistically Implement to be
taken all of it all of it we need to
change our life to be all according to
what Allah subhana wants from us and not
to pick and choose with regarding to
what makes us feel good or our desires
not a buffet now that's right yeah you
can't just take what's good for you and
convenient and other things I'll leave
that alone that's why patience is bitter
that means you it doesn't feel good in
the beginning yeah you don't want to do
it basically but you doing it because
you have a mind and you read in the
Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet you
get to know that this is what Allah
subhana wants from you so you're a human
being you decide for yourself this is
what is good for me I'm going to do it
and then you go through the struggle and
then it becomes your normal but it
doesn't happen overnight and that's why
the bitterness of patience we have to
taste it mhm and we seek the help from
Allah subhana wa tala that we're not
doing that for our own desires we're
doing that for the sake of the creator
of the heavens and earth alone uh last
question and closing comments for
because this is a vast topic so much to
cover So Little Time patience with the
kids patience with your husband patience
with your wife sometimes the husband or
wife nagging about this thousand things
to do you can't get to everything just
leave me alone and so many things going
on in the world and you're going here
and there closing comments and
suggestions for these other practical
situations all of these situations the
way to do it the right way is that we
need to be obedient to Allah subhana tal
in our religion there is etiquette for
everything the prophet when he
said the best among you are the best to
his family and I'm the best to my family
this is the order of Allah subhana wa
ta'ala so we need to learn what are the
or relationships together the real
mannerism of the person shows to those
who are closest to him that's why for my
mannerism you don't know the real
mannerism that I have my wife knows it
very well and the same thing for
everybody so that's why we need to this
is the field of patience that if we work
on ourselves and on in our homes to be
the most perfect human beings in
mannerism and patience and everything
then you don't have to worry too much
about what you do outside the house
because this is the real CH when a
person living with people closely but
how to do that we need to learn the
Sunnah the way of the prophet wasallam
in relating to marriage children how to
raise them how to talk to them how to
punish all of that it is in our religion
not you don't have to go get a PhD in
some form of a college so that you can
learn how to deal with your children we
know that in our religion this is the
perfectness and the comprehensive nature
of the religion of Islam to deal with
the neighbor to deal with ourselves to
deal with the strangers to deal with the
enemies everything of that we have it in
the religion of Islam we need to have
the knowledge of that first this
knowledge is not to be known by opinions
by environments what Mak sense it comes
from the pure Quran and Sunnah of the
Prophet wasallam the way it was
practiced at the time of the prophet and
the ear generations of Islam and then we
need to have the patience to apply it
apply it when you don't see the benefit
of it and that's what patience is if you
see the benefit of it then what's what's
religion in that you have to do it
because this is what Allah subhana from
you so you do it even if you don't see
the benefit of it like the mother of M
when she throw her son Ms in the river
Moses Moses did she know the benefit of
it no she was just submitting to the
orders of Allah the same thing unless we
submit ourselves such in such a way then
the outcome definitely will be good but
we need to have that submission to the
creator of the heavens and the Earth
thank you once again may God Almighty
the creator of the heavens and earth
Allah reward you for being with
us and another episode of the dean show
we hope that you got to benefit what led
us to submit ourselves entirely to the
one God is everything that is needed for
a human being to know that this is
indeed from the creator of the heavens
and the Earth is in the verbatim word of
God the Quran it's there it's there all
you have to do is want it the treasure
is there you got the treasure map now
you got to follow it you got to live it
learn it and come back here every week
to the dean show where we talk to
qualified people who can teach us
because we got we need teachers in every
field and this is the most important
thing that that we need to learn and
then Implement and live so we can be
successful not only in this life but
also in the Hereafter because we want to
get to Paradise because this life is
short you can die at any time so we hope
sincerely that you make Dua for us and
you continue striving with patience to
do good in this life and in the
Hereafter and we'll see you next time
here on the dean show until then peace
be unto you
[Music]
he created the
universe to him belong the heavens and
the
Earth the ever living He is the
first he's the owner of
[Music]
Mercy he sent his
Messengers to on his
creatures of the Grave
dangers of worship in Allah than
Allah there is none
greater than the Creator
[Music]