Allah there's only one God and muhamad
is his messenger Allah back here on the
dean show radio show every week we're
here so make sure you're here we're
continuing on talking about Z
fornication it's a major sin and we are
continuing part two and we have with us
she Cal are you there she abolutely yes
sir all right just to bring people up to
speed we were discussing an email that
we got from a
20-year-old
brother and to let the listeners know
this brother had wrote in and said
that yesterday was the worst day of my
life we read this and we'll read it
again so we can continue from where we
left off he talked about that he let his
desires take control
and he committed the grave sin of Zena
fornication he said he never felt this
kind of Shame before it was so powerful
and he wanted some advice some help he
wanted to know how to repent how to
avoid it and last time we left off with
the mighty effects the negative effects
the
ramifications of committing this Major
law break this major sin and let's
continue let's kind of discuss a little
bit what we talked about before and then
bring people up to speed and then
continue on with these effects where we
left off
excellent so we we said last episode we
spoke about first that when someone
commits a sin and a lot of times people
commit a sin it could be a major sin and
they feel that they need to be punished
somehow or that they can't repent unless
they are punished and that is not the
case number one we advise the brother
and anyone else in this any type of
situation whether similar or any other
kind of sin in order to repent properly
number one give up the sin it's as
simple as that stop doing it no matter
what it is to regret and have remorse
feel bad that it happened feel bad that
you did it if you don't feel bad that
you did it that's not good repentance
and three resolve that you're never
going to go back to it again never going
to go back to it these are the three
things and of course Scholars add the
fourth thing if you have wrong someone
then you go to that person ask their
forgiveness and you you know you
basically fix what you have wronged but
these are the three things okay so
that's the first advice we give the
brother that you repent from this sin
and you know uh we want hopefully
inshallah in this episode we want to
look at the you know first of all the
effects of Zena because like you were
you were saying last time a lot of
people will tell you things like well
it's two consenting adults what's the
problem with that no it's actually many
problems that come and there's a right
of of the community there's a right of
Allah that you're violating it's not
just to consenting adults then we want
to talk about how to avoid it okay many
people get themselves right to the
doorstep of Zena and that's a problem
because then they could fall into it so
how do you avoid it and then the
solutions that Islam put forward to
prevent people from falling into zen
inshallah tell us before we go on there
if someone is just so used to this I
mean they've established a prayer they
formed a connection with the one who
created them
but now you know the gentleman or the
lady they've had a boyfriend girlfriend
their whole life they just got into
accustom to it and you said the you have
to feel remorseful but you know what
they want to but they don't feel it how
do you get to feeling it even let's say
you want to feel it and how do you get
unused to this having a boyfriend or a
girlfriend okay very good very good
question and and this is what you know
something Eddie what you mentioned is
something like really really really
serious you know and this is the problem
in in the world we're living in right
now where so many things are so serious
and they just become nothing to us you
know yes one of the most serious things
is that uh when you become so used to
sinning that you cannot enjoy yourself
unless it's a sin you know or you get so
used to sinning that it doesn't even
feel like a sin anymore this is a big
problem that's
why he was talking about how you know
the believer he sees his sins as a
mountain on top of his head that can
fall and collapse upon him at any moment
like if there's a mountain over your
head you're going to feel afraid that it
might Crush you at any minute the
believer whatever sin he commits he
feels like it's a mountain it's on top
of his head and then he says the other
person you know the one who doesn't have
strong Iman or the hypocrite he treats a
sin as if it were a fly that just sat on
his nose and he waved it away with his
hand wow I mean you can just imagine
this now if a fly sits on your nose you
wave it away you don't spend the rest of
your days thinking oh my goodness the
fly is sat on my no it's just gone it's
over that instant it's it's it's done
and so this is a problem when people sin
so much that they get used to it or that
they cannot enjoy themselves unless they
are sinning against Allah let me just
share this story with you Eddie and this
is a true story man but I'll tell you
for me it was like horrendous when I
heard it tell us this is a true story
one of the early Muslims and he used he
was married and everything but he to go
and used to commit Zena heed to
fornicate or commit adultery with
another woman yes so his wife found out
this is the early Generations right of
Muslims so his wife found out and
because they had no electricity in the
homes and these things she agreed with
that woman that they're going to switch
places for that night wow so she goes to
the house of that woman and the man
comes at night and he thinks this is
that the other woman not his wife but
it's his wife he doesn't know that but
he does with her what a man does with
with his wife he he basically sleeps
with her
now and and you know this is also
another interesting point that Scholars
say like in the end I mean to a degree
it's all the same why get us sin it's
all the same I mean the guy didn't even
realize that's his own wife he thought
it was The Other Woman yes you know
perhaps they had the same build
something like that in the morning he
comes back home and his wife rushed home
before him so then he she tells him you
know that woman you slept with last
night that was me I went to her and I
switch places with her you know he said
something to her one of the most
horrible things you'll hear he said to
her how wonderful you are when it's
Haram and how horrible you are when it's
Halal it's the same woman he enjoyed
it's his wife he enjoyed her when he
thought he was committing a sin and when
it's Halal he he can't enjoy it it it
was more pleasurable to him it was more
pleasurable so some people get so
addicted to the sin that they don't that
they can't even enjoy the same thing if
it's not a sin wow so this can actually
be worse and just having a boyfriend and
it's so casual and sinning so casually
can make it worse so the person has to
bring thems to realize that it is very
Haram the way to feel guilty about it is
to realize how Haram it is how much
you're disobeying Allah subhana tala how
horrible it is in the S of Allah that
makes it much worse for you so then you
can't just pray and then go and commit
Zena and knowing that Allah really
really abhor this act so this is one of
the things and I just wanted to quot to
mention a quote with you because you
know we don't want there are many people
W who have fallen into this sin I will
spare you the horror stories yeah I can
tell you stories of people in hijab
people who are active in da people who
are active in the Masjid people who are
called Sheik just you know a good
knowledgeable brother they call him
Sheik he commits Zena sisters who commit
Z horrible horrible stories let's just
skip over that okay wow but the the
truth is this that a lot of times um you
know we don't want the the The Listener
to walk away with the feeling that you
know they're doomed they cannot repent
we said you can repent you follow the
three three steps you stop doing it you
feel regret and you resolve to never go
back to doing it that's it I wanted to
mention what Abbas very nice quote from
ABB the great scholar the great
companion yes tell he said he said there
is no major sin if one ask for
forgiveness and there is no minor sin if
one keeps repeating it so it's really
beautiful say it again so there's no
there is no major sin if one asks for
forgiveness like for example you do you
commit Z but you ask for forgiveness you
repent you stop doing it you feel regret
you do a lot of good deeds to offset it
then it's gone inshallah it's gone Allah
is most forgiving yes but then he says
there is no minor sin if you keep
repeating it even if it's minor you keep
doing it over and over and over again it
doesn't become minor anymore because now
go ahead now go ahead because it it's
not minor anymore even if it's a small
sin that's why the early Muslims used to
say something very beautiful they used
to say don't look at how small the sin
is but look at the greatness of the one
that you're sinning against so that
that's being in insistent complacent on
this sin just keep going back back back
to absolutely and you and I tell you
something else that's really interesting
the SCH say that sometimes for example
if you if if you the fact that you're
not afraid that Allah is watching you
while you're doing the sin is worse than
the sin itself like you know how
sometimes some people they want to do
something like really bad right so they
turn off the lights they lock the doors
and then when someone tries to open the
door they get scared out of their wits
because they're going to get caught yes
they were more scared that a human might
catch them than Allah some Scholars said
that in itself is worse than the sin
that they were doing itself it's worse
that they weren't afraid that Allah is
watching them so if any of the listeners
you know has fallen into any type of sin
we want them to feel regret we want them
to to realize what a great sin it was in
front of Allah you know we don't want
Allah to expose our bad Deeds just in
the in the Masid in front of our
community what about the fact that we're
doing bad deeds in front of Allah every
time we're alone with Allah we're doing
some bad deed if there's a brother let's
say for
and who who looks at Haram images for
example right yes he doesn't do that in
front of the people in the Masid he
doesn't do it in front of the local IM
he doesn't do it in front of the father
his father he only does it when he's
alone with Allah so that means every
time you're alone with Allah you do the
you bring out the worst side of you and
that's wor that's in itself is is really
just not appropriate for the believer
it's really wicked in and of itself and
that's why we yeah when uh we before we
get into to the effects the evil effects
tell us how would a person humble
himself you talked about feeling the
regret is there a formula that Islam
recommends is a thinking about death
thinking about the day of judgment how
could someone before we get into the
evil effects humble himself so he feels
this remorse or sh excellent all the
things you mentioned are actually part
of the solution to that problem so I
want to feel remorse for sinning against
Allah one of the things I can
uh contemplate all the good things that
Allah does for me and you know when you
start to do that you can't even
enumerate them because every second
Allah is doing a good thing for you he's
keeping harm away from you keeping harm
away from your family members keeping
your health with you so if you start to
just look at the blessings that Allah
has giving you you start to feel guilty
immediately for all the sins that you
committed against Allah uh and then
that's one way another way like you said
to remember death you know just go to
the the graveyard yard and look at that
hole in the ground and remember you're
going to be put into that you know that
definitely then will help you again feel
feel bad for your sin what if you read
about the day of judgment you know or
you read about the punishment in the
Hellfire you feel bad for that sin what
if you read about the lives of the
righteous people and how they would go
out of their way to to not anger Allah
not to disobey Allah and then would
encourage you to be like that as well or
if you read about the rewards in in
Paradise you again it will encourage you
to want to stay away from the Haram
so all these kinds of things are part of
what will help you feel regret and
realize you've done something bad and
not to give it a good name and just try
to brush it off or the excuses that we
hear today in today's society so we know
that someone if they die on this pure
monotheism not worshiping any other
deity any other God besides the one God
The God Who created the heavens and the
Earth and everything in it the god that
Jesus prayed to the god that Abraham
prayed to and the last and final
messenger sent to mankind the prophet
Muhammad peace be upon them all if you
die on this that you will be in Jenna in
Paradise but is it true that if you're
consistent on this sin that you might
end up getting punished for a while
before you end up getting into the
paradise excellent I think you've summed
it up nicely what happens is if anyone
who believes in Allah Muhammed that
there's no God worthy of worship except
Allah that Muhammad is his servant and
his messenger
you know that is by itself inshallah the
let's like kind of like say the the
green light to not spend eternity in the
Hellfire but there will be people who
are followers of the Prophet Salli
wasallam and believe in the one God
because of their sins who will have to
go to the to the Hellfire until it
expedites for their sins and so that's
why people need to repent before
death excuse me people need to repent
before death before they go to their
grave from sins like Zena like stealing
like alcohol like lying people need to
repent from these things or it will
cause them to be punished in the heal
far effects you talked about on the last
show the effects and everyone got
excited and they're back again they want
to know what are these evil effects the
world around us everything from the TV
to the television to the movies
everything is alluring and tantalizing
calling you to this it seems so natural
but now you talked about the evil
effects can you share those with us
absolutely and you know what Eddie there
are so so many of them so I'm going to
go through them quickly if one of them
picks your interest you stop me we can
talk about it some more but there's so
many evil effects of Zena that I know
that you know if if we could do a whole
show just on the effects but let's just
go through them quickly if you need me
to expound on more you stop me okay yes
one of the obvious things many
illegitimate children in society and I'm
going to spare you all the studies that
also link high crime rate to areas of
many illegitimate children who have no
father figure you know yes uh but you
know one of the things is people don't
know who their father is and it messes
up the lineage of people and lineage is
important to to people and even if you
look they have the TV show one of them
is called Mari Povich and one of the one
of the successes of his shows is he will
do the the paternity tests yes and
they'll bring all these women who are
not sure who the father is but you what
what I'm trying to say is that even
that's an indication to to a lot of
people that they still want would like
to know who is the father you know many
children people who grew up not knowing
who their father is they go through
searches they look into history
databases just to find out who is their
father so that's something that's
important to people that's one of the
effects of Zena and that's and that's n
let me just back up you said to stop you
if if to expound on it and i' I've seen
some of these Mory porridge what do you
say his name that it's a nasty
environment you see that they're
screaming fighting trying to kill each
other on this show isn't it yeah and you
find the you know the woman crying she
wants to know who the father is and
there'll be like four guys in the back I
mean four guys four of them in the back
all of them saying they're not the
father and then they say so and so is
the father he starts you know looking
sad the other three start dancing I mean
it's just a mess where people don't
can't even determine who's and the woman
can't even determine who it is because Z
has become so rampant in society or
fornication this is a good example yes
so that's one you've got you know AIDS
and all the other veneral diseases and
and we're not even going to list how
many people die every day of AE on it's
just problem after problem most people
are aware of that but it's a result of
you know people having or having a loose
or sexually loose Society all right um
I'll tell you an interesting statistic
82% of teenage mothers are themselves
the daughters of teenage mothers could
you believe that 82% 82% yeah so that
means Zena leads to more Zena right yeah
because they committed Zena and their
children commit Zena 82% of them teenage
mothers are Daughters of teenage mother
so that means Zena leads to more Zen
it's another problem it's an it's a
society it's an effect on society as a
whole um let me tell you something you
look at women who are raped a lot of
times they don't report rape you know
why because the defense is going to say
they were that she was
consenting now because consenting is not
a crime anymore people get away with a
bigger crime such as rape so and most
people get raped by someone they know
known as date rape so if you look at the
the number of people who are raped by a
total stranger it's very small most
people are raped by someone they know
but they can't report it a lot of times
because it will be uh like written off
as Zena so Zena Zena is itself a crime
so if they were in a Muslim state if
they said yes we committed Zena then
they would be punished but now because
Zena is so acceptable people get away
with rape using Zena as an excuse
uh children being thrown in the
orphanages and in the trash because the
mother doesn't want them it was
illegitimate it was outside of marriage
all kinds of problems you know it also
tells you that if um if a boy is born to
a teenage like mother he is three times
more likely to serve time in prison
three times that's I mean that's too
much okay how about the effects of on
individuals in society one it leads to
sexual deviant I mean some people will
have so many partners so many multiple
partners that in the end one of two
things happen one they become deviant
like they every time they need more like
different like kind of perverted acts in
order to enjoy themselves or two when
they get married then settle with one
person they can't handle one person and
someone who was with 60 or 70 people
can't handle one so it devalues intimacy
later on with the spouse yes all right
um it also teaches people to only look
for men especially to only look at the
opposite sex for nothing but sex like
you find men who go bar hopping they
don't look they don't value when they
meet a woman in the bar they don't value
her intelligence they don't value her
personality they just look at her with
that in mind yes with you know also it
um one of the other effects on on women
is that they especially like you find
the teenage mothers they have also many
kinds of problems they usually have low
education levels or they will get a low
level as a result of that because they
have to drop out of high school take
care of the baby they usually have
higher stress levels depression greater
risk of leaving school or having a lower
level of Education in general also some
women they feel that their only value is
a sexual value and so what happens they
accept that and they Embrace that and
they start to develop only their sexual
image and you've probably
seen or heard of you know young girls
let's say in high school or you know
maybe in college or something they feel
that the only valued for sex and so they
dress even they're coming to school but
they dress Prov provocatively they do
their hair in this way and that way and
they dress in a revealing way because
they Embrace that sexual image and they
try to develop it further because that's
all that they learn from society you see
magazine covers internet movies that's
all the woman is a sexual object that's
the flip side now that this is uh
because this is because of uh of these
effects this is what's causing this
absolutely because that's all the women
they they feel that they're only valued
for sex and that's why if you look at
how women are presented in the media
it's always within a sexual kind of
context you know in the magazines always
in a sexual way you know they have them
stand in suggestive ways opening their
mouth with the hair like this like that
in the movies always it's always a
sexual way so women start to see
themselves like that and and they start
to dress and act like that as well so
that's you know one of the effects of
Zena and it keeps increasing Zena all
right when it comes to the children
there are so many problems that we're
that happen to children born out of
wedlock or to teenage mothers and
typically what happens is the mother is
so young many times that she uh she's
physically mature so she can have babies
this is an interesting point like a
woman becomes uh physically mature and
she can have children and there's no
harm on her like for example if a
14-year-old woman has a baby it doesn't
harm her it's actually she's physically
ready to have a baby it's actually the
older woman who has more problems or the
older a woman gets the more problems she
has yes so that means the woman is
physically mature but maybe not mentally
mature you know and so if you so what
happens then is that because they're not
mentally mature they may not take care
of the child properly and the child will
have a number number of problems okay
very quickly they have problems managing
their emotions uh they have a lack of
trust and self-worth they are afraid of
getting close to people and getting
emotionally attached to people they have
anger problems they become what we call
control freaks they usually have poor
academic performance and are more likely
to fail and not even graduate from
secondary school and an interesting
thing you can even link serial killers
to being
to to to fornication basically because
most serial killers are were children of
either a teenage mother or they had only
one parent or they hated one of their
parents so not saying that if if someone
hates their their mother or father
they're going to become a serial killer
but most of the time any serial killer
either was born to a teenage mother or
they hated one of their parents or both
their parents or they had they lacked
one of the parents broken home so this
is that that Consequence the broken home
no love and and it's a result of Zen I
mean even like Ted Bundy for example one
of the most famous serial killers killed
a hundred women you know this guy and he
was you know very polite very handsome
man everything he was he was born to a
teenage mother there's something called
bonding or attachment I would urge your
listeners because of our time is short
but they could go and and search bonding
or attachment and it's the very intense
attachment that develops between the
parents and the baby the teenage mother
if she neglects the child he lacks the
bonding and attachment uh factor and he
comes up grows up not very caring for
people they can murder people they can
cheat lie so all kinds of things linked
to Zen and then they tell you in the end
what oh two consenting adults no it's a
lot worse than that and even like I said
homosexuality and the children because a
lot of psychologists they classify it as
being alienated from the male so a child
is born to a teenage girl
no father is available she's living with
her mother or her grandmother and he
doesn't have a male role model this
could be one of the possible things that
lead that child not to say everyone
who's going to be in that environment
will
become homosexual but it's been linked
to it so all these problems we see from
Z if someone and yet and what was your
last one I mean and yet after all this
people will come and tell you what's
wrong with it you know it's it's love
it's an expression of love and no but
families are broken over it spouses kill
each other over it the father and
daughter relationships are severed
because of this and younger brothers all
become tolerant like if if a if a woman
has gets pregnant out of wedlock or or
commits Zena the younger sister is more
likely to commit Zena the younger
brother is more likely to accept it all
these problems so it's not good it's
evil and there is no no good at all no
good at all doing it the right way is
through marriage that's what we and this
is what the Creator wants to preserve
the family and to if you do it that
right way then we can avoid God willing
all of these negative consequences is
that right and and and exactly and that
would bring us back to our next point
which is how to avoid it and solutions
for it and I think you started yeah
before you go there what if someone says
I'm gonna be devil's advocate for a
second I don't like to play that role
but tell us for the person that says
look I'm not hurting nobody I have my
girlfriend of four or five years and I'm
not that rampant about jumping from one
girl to the next we use condoms she's on
birth control and I'm not hurting nobody
we'll eventually get married okay well
well first of all you're going to hurt
yourself in this D in this life and in
the next life you're going to hurt
yourself first of all it's I'll tell you
an interesting fact and you know
something there's no way you can use
statistics to go against Allah
statistics science always the side of
religion always on the side of Allah not
not religion Islam yes always on the
side of Islam always on the side of
Allah so the person who just gave that
argument yeah you when you look at the
statistics you find that the divorce
rate between couples who liveed together
first is greater than between couples
who did not live together first you know
why wow yeah absolutely there's no way
you can come around this you know no
argument here that's going to work so
it's interesting that the couple like
this guy he said he uses birth control
he doesn't jump around for from Woman to
Woman one thing that happened is that
living together like that in sin and
committing fornication it's going to De
value it's going to diminish the value
of marriage because later on they live
together let's say they live together
for five years all right yes six year
they decide to go get married so then
all they do is they go to the courthouse
it takes them about 15 minutes to get a
piece of paper and they come back home
what
changed marriage to them is nothing but
a piece of paper now you see it's not
exciting now it's not exciting and
that's why because it's only a piece of
paper that changed the relationship it's
easy to destroy that piece of paper and
that's why they get divorced so quickly
you see what I'm saying so they're
harming themselves in this dun that's
number one and number two and and by the
way because they were committing Zena
most likely they won't be too strict
with their children about Zena and so
that will encourage more Zena in the
future but in the next life they're
going to harm themselves because this is
Haram they've been angering Allah for 4
years and they're going to be held
accountable for that and a law is a law
I mean if you look at it and if we you
can give an example here a stop sign if
a person say well it's only a piece of
metal with some paint on it and then you
or that's only a red light or it's only
a bullet I'll put it in them but this is
a law and you don't break the law of the
land nor do you want to break the law of
the one who created you is that correct
there all yeah you you got you give an
excellent example there always a
consequence here don't stop with the the
stops sign if you don't want to but what
look what's going to happen don't stop
at a red light but look what's going to
happen so you got to follow it or
there's going to be issues now how do we
in all the confusion out there and
everything is just so tempting there's
so much calling you it seems like how do
you avoid falling in this trap excellent
notice um Allah says in the Quran Allah
says do not come near Zena or
fornication or illicit sexual relations
it's it's it's amazing how Allah didn't
say don't don't commit to he said don't
come near it because in order to commit
it you got to do some things that lead
to it right yes you got to look at the
woman you got to talk to the woman you
got to be alone with the woman and touch
the woman and then commit Zena so in
order to stop you committing Zena Allah
stopped you from doing everything that
may lead to Zena that's why Allah said
do not come close to Zen that's why when
uh so we said like you got to see the
woman right yes and Allah in the Quran
he commanded the believing men to lower
their gaze and the women to lower their
gaze so there's no looking you don't you
don't augle the woman and look at her
because even that especially in men
leads to arousal so that's the First
Avenue that was cut off second thing
talking between men and women has been
very limited you know if it's if you
have to do it because of school or you
have to do it because of this or that
then you are only allowed to talk within
that context it doesn't go into
exchanging phone numbers and hours of
talking because talking again of the
Avenues that leads to Zena being alone
with a woman it's forbidden for any male
to be alone with a woman like behind
closed doors where no one could see them
because again you're making it easier
for zena the third person is the Shan
you're making it easier to commit Zena
so again Islam prohibited that you know
and I always give the example Eddie it's
like basically putting someone at the
top of a hill in a car with no braks and
you push the car down the hill and you
tell the guy roll down the hill but just
don't crash into that thing at the at
the end
how's he going to do it if he's got no
breaks yeah so Islam said don't get in
that car that's top of that Hill he
didn't say start rolling down and then
just miss and swerve the object you
can't you got no breaks you're going to
head into it so if Islam said yeah you
can talk to women sit with them shake
hands touch them hug sit alone and and
you know look at women then you're
obviously going to fall into Zena so the
realistic way Islam prohibited and shut
all the a Vues that lead to Zen you see
and even then add add other things to
that for example Islam limited you know
the useless reasons for a woman leaving
the house right travel you know you got
to have your like a brother or father
things like that or hijab itself is one
of the ways of limiting Zena because the
woman now is not looked at as a sexual
object she covers her beauty she doesn't
wear tight clothing she doesn't put on
perfume because the perfume you know
attracts the man the man's attracted by
the woman's appearance her voice her
scent her look everything and like mean
you look in the Quran how Allah
prohibits the women shaking or jiggling
the uh what do you call it that uh the
ankle
bracelet just to not attract men's
attention so you look at all these
things Islam is doing it to prevent
people from falling into the so then
what are the solutions right the
solutions obviously you stay away from
the the you know the shut Avenues but
also early you know marriage getting
married right and the prophet said to
the young man he said whoever among you
can get can afford it and let him get
married because it helps lower the Gaze
and it protects the private protects the
Chastity so you get married if you're
able to and that helps people from
abstaining it helps people to abstain
from Zena now what if you can't afford
it also gave another solution he said
you fast you fast you know it's not but
it's it's you know what Eddie I'm
telling you it's sad a lot of young men
who are not married they don't fast you
know they don't fast when and I know a
lot of young people I mean okay I know
of one young person he was not married
so for 10 years he would fast every
other day yes every other day day in day
out because he took it as serious advice
lower the Gaze fast W it will keep
people so calm but many young people
they don't fast and they let their gaze
they look everywhere they look at women
they augle they look at them on
television in the magazines on the
internet in the street and so how do you
expect them to be calm they're always in
a state of arousal so take the solutions
Islam gives you can't get married if you
can alhamdulillah get married if you
cannot then fast lower the Gaze limit
your talking and you're sitting with
women and it will help you stay calm as
well you know so all these things that
you might have gotten accustomed to
you've gotten desensitized doesn't
matter if the whole of the world is not
getting on the boat is not getting on
the ship Noah's Arc those who who didn't
get on they got left behind exactly I
mean if the rest of the world is
misguided and Allah sent me the Quran to
guide me why should I then sink with
everybody else let me get on the boat
right that's the right way I just want
to say that you know this was so
important to people that during the
reign of
Theif he wrote to the governor of Iraq
saying look for every unmarried man who
has no money
and arrange marriage and give money and
charity to him because they didn't want
that to be rampant in society so they
were working towards fixing it beautiful
so marriage marriage that's the key no
porno no no self-satisfaction no none of
that and and by the way one of the like
I said realistic ways to stop yourself
from doing that and from being in a
constant state of arousal lower that
gaze I know it sounds too easy but I
swear it is that easy
remember when we were single and you
know around some good brothers would
just say you lower that gaze you don't
even feel anything you don't feel
anything you go home you're calm and
people don't have to get into the Haram
people do the Haram they get on the
internet all these things because they
don't lower the Gaze to begin with
they're always in a state of arousal
some people even they might be married
to one woman or two and still they're
constantly looking at women and
constantly in a state of arousal
Perpetual state of just
this weird state that they're in because
they don't lower that gaze I'll tell you
something I heard from a from a from a
he said he said if I wear and I only
show my eyes and I walk in front of men
they might desire me and there's a man
under it you're going to desire him
because you're in that state of I call
it um on the prowl you know what I'm
saying yeah so the guy is always on the
prow he's married but he's on the prowl
checking out this girl over here looking
over yeah relax and if you if you were
if you put yourself in that mode where
you don't look and you just calm and you
don't think about that all day then you
will not be in that Perpetual state of
arousal and and just discomfort couple
more points before we come to a close of
the marriage along with worshiping the
Creator along without any Associates
implementing the way of life of all the
messengers of God that way of total and
complete submission not to your desires
but to the will of the one who created
you you Islam and then establishing a
commitment with a woman that you give
her her rights she gives you your rights
and then you won't have a broken home
then the child will come up with love
and affection and then everything that
you mention you had a long list of the
negative effects most likely all all of
this can be avoided inshallah I think
you you did a fantastic job you just
summed up everything I said in the last
half hour very nice any closing comments
and suggestions now we've talked about a
lot of things and before someone might
tune off the radio show of the dean show
and it might turn on some 50 cents or
some Tupac to not get them excited to go
back to that but get them
excited to move towards the
righteousness the that that that way of
of feeling that goodness of when you do
the right thing doing God's thing
right I want to talk to the young people
listening to the show or anyone who has
a problem with this issue and you know
I've been dealing with youth for a while
and unfortunately like many people are
very weak when it comes to this issue
right and I want them to really believe
W it's not that difficult you keep in
mind okay I'm not going to spend hours
thinking about you know sexual relations
or things that you know of that sort
that cause people to be around stop
yourself when you think of these things
lower your gaze you know remember Allah
remember the reward do all the things
that we spoke about W it's it cannot be
that difficult I mean if it's that
difficult Allah wouldn't have put us in
a situation that's impossible never ever
if you read anywhere in the Quran or the
teachings of the Prophet Sall wasallam
that you're you're ever commanded or
required to do something that's
impossible or physically impossible as a
human being so it's not impossible to
stay away from uh you know like
masturbation or stay away from Zena it's
not impossible Allah wouldn't ask you
for something that he knows you can't do
so it's possible but we need to stay
away from this environment that we're
around that you like you were just
saying you turn on the music it's
talking about Z you know you turn on the
television and shows are talking about
Zena um you know Zena everywhere in the
in the magazines and articles and movies
shows so you stay away from that
environment or you're going to just
constantly be thinking about it because
you're bombarded with it the whole time
so those who want to make an effort
Allah promises you you fear Allah and
will find you a way way out fear Allah
he'll find you a way out paradise then
and and let's and then paradise and then
let's just say this to anyone who has
fallen into it don't run away from Allah
many people fall into the sin take off
the hijab or they stop going to the
Masid or they stop praying don't run
away from Allah when you sin is when you
should run towards Allah all and it's a
better feeling when you run and cry to
Allah then when you run away and you
keep doing more sin because oh I'm not
worthy no you're worthy Allah will
forgive anything any sin as long as you
repent before you die and you repent the
proper way which is you stop doing it
you feel bad about it and you say I'm
not going to go back to doing that and
Allah is most forgiving thank you very
much may Allah the creator of the
heavens and the Earth reward you again
and again for being with us and we look
forward to having you back here on the
dean show God one Allah reward you for
your hard work inah and the listeners in
a mean yeah thank you very much
fresh P holy
peace fresh feel holy peace