alhamdulillah Alum peace be unto you
welcome to the dean show which is a way
of life we try to put out there for
everyone to see helping you understand
Islam and Muslims and until I believe a
few days ago I just found out that Islam
is indeed the largest way of life in the
world all right check this out it's the
fastest growing way of life in the world
yet Mis most misunderstood so we try to
help clear most of the misconceptions
and educate the non-muslims and the
Muslims with learned men scholars in
Islam so we're going to sit tight we're
going to be talking about manners we're
going to be talking about proper
behavior and we're going to introduce
our next guest you're going to read
about them and then we're going to bring
them on to tackle this topic sit tight
we'll be right back on the dean
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show
peaceful peaceful peaceful peace
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peaceful how are you alhamdulillah thank
you again for being with us thank you
for inviting me the people got to read a
little bit about you so they see that
you're qualified to help give us some
advice what's called n okay now we want
to talk about I love this Hadith all
right all the Hadith because they're
coming from divine inspiration to the
last and final Messenger to mankind the
prophet Muhammad peace be upon him right
correct me he said I have not come but
to fulfill good manners yes the Muslims
lot of them they lacking this we're
lacking this we need some uh I start
with myself I need this advice and then
we move on from there how Define good
manners in Islam let's start from there
alhamdulillah
it's a very comprehensive topic but I
would like to mention some points that
hopefully by the will of Allah subhana
wa tala it will be easier for the
listeners to understand the concept of
or manners or mannerism in Islam there
are three types of mannerism in Islam
that we have to fulfill as we know life
is test and we're not living on the face
of Earth for the joy and and that's it
we're living for a purpose and that is
to worship Allah subhana tal and
everybody will be judged and asked in
the day of judgment how they live thy
life the first type is the manners of
the Muslim with Allah subhana tala that
means how is his worship to Allah
subhana T does he associate partners
with Allah does when he say ill he is
sincere in doing this and he turns to no
one but Allah subhana tala is he
obedient to Allah subh the absolute
obedience and away from sins and so on
with is which is the rights of Allah
subhana wa tala and and the manners with
Allah subhana tala it's very clear in
the Quran prophets messengers of Allah
the best of the human beings you see how
would they speak with Allah subhana wa T
when the Revelation comes to them as
Allah subhana said about the
prophet that when Allah subhana T lifted
the prophet wasallam in the night of
Ascension he did not look left and left
and right he looked right in front of
him manners with Allah subhana wa
tala Jesus peace be upon him when Allah
subhana wa ta'ala
will as it's in the end ofah he would
say oh Allah if you forgive them they
are your slaves and if you punish them
you are the the almighty the are wise
maners with Allah subh tal that we learn
from the Quran referring everything to
Allah subhana tala so applying this in
our life the manage with the prophet
sallallahu alaihi wasallam to be
obedient to him to love the prophet to
put forward his Hadi before our
intellect and our opinions and sub MIT
ourselves to his way and then if we
perfect these two the third type of
manners which is the manners with the
human beings it should be the easiest
one and it's so simple it comes natural
cuz you seek the first two by being kind
to others you seek the pleasure of Allah
subhana tala alone when I'm kind to you
or you're kind to me or to the parents
or the neighbors or whatever there is we
don't do this in Islam so that they can
do the same to us we do this only for
the sake of Allah subhana tal even if
they are so mean to us we're still kind
to them because this is what Allah
subhana T ordered us so it comes from
the first two kinds and obeying the way
of the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasallam and having the knowledge and
this is very important and life is all
about giv rights to others the rights of
Allah subhana tala what are they the
rights of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasallam the rights of our own selves
the rights of our parents the rights of
our wives the rights of the wives unto
the husbands the rights of the children
the rights of the neighbors the rights
of the Muslims the the rights of the
non-muslim even the rights of the Muslim
sinner there he has rights on us to
enjoyin good and forbid evil the rights
of the Muslim that is a scholar in the
religion for example and so on and this
is what's the meaning of the to be
concerned about the rights of the Quran
in us you know to be concerned about
Allah subhana tala his messenger the
Quran the leaders of the Muslims the
masses of the Muslims all of this comes
with knowledge and we have to spend the
the time and the effort to learn all
these etiquet and manners of how to deal
with other people Islam we learn
everything how to worship Allah subhana
T in the Masjid and how to buy and sell
with transactions how to deal with each
and every one of us it's all laid there
in the Quran and in the Sunnah of the
Prophet Salli wasallam once we have this
knowledge then we are left with the
applying this knowledge it has to go
Hand by hand and this is one of the
critical matters that people need to
understand the they call something
called transgression of knowledge you
have a little bit of knowledge and
action is not up to the same level what
happens the person will have arrogance
will have transgression because
knowledge alone doesn't work you have to
follow this with actions applying this
knowledge having more and more the and
the acts of worship making Salah fasting
it humbles the person makes him down to
the ground with his relationship with
Allah subhana wa tala so if the if the
knowledge go beyond the action it gives
arrogance and makes the person fall into
Bad Manners and the opposite if deeds
and actions go beyond knowledge a person
will fall in Innovations in the religion
because he wants to please Allah subhana
tala but with no knowledge so they
always have to go hand in hand no one is
exceeding the other if we are conscious
of this and seeking the knowledge from
the Quran and the Sunnah of the
Prophet I think we don't have to sit for
a long time and discuss how to deal with
a Muslim brother when you buy and sell
when you do transactions which a lot of
problems you'll have a Muslim mallah
looks like he's following the way of the
Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam he's
good in the Masjid very humble in the
Masjid but then once they're outside and
they're dealing with some worldly
Affairs a different mask is being put on
which is a deficiency of course why
because we didn't do what's supposed to
be in the mjid in the proper way we
didn't know the manners with Allah
subhana T and with the prophet wasallam
in the proper way and having patient to
patience to fulfill the orders of Allah
with other people in our life so it
doesn't just go for is in the mid you
need to take it outside also and dealing
with everybody right and if we perfect
what's in the Masjid it come out with us
if it does not come out with us that
means we have a deficiency in the Masjid
we did not do it in the proper way now
we know about the manners that we're
supposed to have with our brothers in
faith but we also supposed to have
certain manners and etiquette of being
kind to people who aren't even Muslim is
that correct definitely of course we
have even manners it's mentioned in the
dean with animals with animals and the
prophet s wasallam said there's a
charity in everything that has a liver
anything that is a life has life we have
certain manners towards these things and
the prophet wasallam is the best example
in that and we know the Hadith where a
woman entered the h fire because of a
cat that she locked it up and she didn't
give it she didn't give it any food to
eat and then leave it out to eat from
what's outside till it died and Allah
subhana T punished this woman into the h
fire and the opposite a woman that was a
prostitute from the children of Israel
and she entered Jenna because she gave a
drink of water to a Thirsty Dog so this
Dean is beautiful it's very
comprehensive and everything is there so
we just need to learn how to act with
other and it's all there as far as
knowledge is concerned how to deal with
the non-muslims and given da and Allah
says speak to people n
everyone meaning with goodness so it
doesn't matter if the person is a Muslim
or non-muslim we have to speak to people
in goodness in a good manner as the
prophet wasallam used to do we know that
in Islam which means total surrender and
submission to God alone without no
Partners we have evidence for everything
we do inshallah okay we have evidence
and we should follow uh the evidence
which is the Quran the Sunnah and you
have the best of generations which were
the the companions around uh the time of
the Prophet correct correct so now we
have our brothers in faith and we have
some difference of opinion on certain
matters where do we cross a line and how
do we have
manners uh when we're dealing in
situations like this a person might have
his hands different in prayer a person
might might not have the same opinion
with you on a certain matter so where do
you cross the line rather than getting
in a big heated dialogue debate where do
you stop and where do you cross not
cross the line where do you uh no one to
back up well this has more than one
thing for us to do first we have to seek
knowledge ourselves in the proper way
what is knowledge knowledge is as the
they
say what Allah said what the prophet
wasallam said what the companions said
so if we have the proper knowledge and
we do not blindly follow no one but
wasallam and we ask the people of
knowledge those who have the same
attitude because if we could not know
something then we ask the people of
knowledge we should not open the Quran
and the Hadith ourselves a normal person
and says well this is the prophet said
that that means the ruling is such and
such we do not know the comprehensive
and the different Hadith mentioned there
so that's why we ask the people of
knowledge so seeking knowledge is one
thing and having these principles that
we follow the way of s alhi wasallam and
the understanding of the early
generations of Al Islam applying this
principle in our specific way of doing
things and then we have to know how to
deal with those who are different from
us those who are different or doing
something that is not the truth either
they are Scholars or knowledgeable
people or they're just normal person if
it's a normal person we need to educate
we need to be kind we need to be patient
and with patience and given the dawa for
the principles that we need to follow
the Quran and the Sunnah with the
understanding of the early generations
of Al Islam and being patient in doing
so then inshallah by the will of Allah
things will change but someone for
example is calling people to Innovations
in the religion and he is supposed to be
a leader among them we have to be be we
have to be careful and avoid being in
the companionship of such a person and
we have to warn people from him in the
best way and the most eate way so that
we do not fall into the same Innovations
in the religion but again these
different debates and matters of yes
right first of all we have to have the
principle that whenever we have
differences we have to refer the
differences back to the Quran and the of
the Prophet as Allah
says that if you are in difference with
one another with regarding to any matter
refer it back to who to Allah and his
messenger Sall alhi wasallam he did not
say refer it back to Men He said refer
it back to Allah and his messenger Sall
alaihi wasallam we as the people of
knowledge with the evidences from the
Quran and from the Sunnah of the Prophet
sallallahu alaihi wasallam some people
and this is a very dangerous statement
when they say well if the matter has
differences of opinion then take any
opinion and you'll be fine m is this is
what the verse says the verse says if
you are in differences among one another
did not say just take any opinion don't
take the differences of opinion as one
of the things that we extract rulings
from no go back to the Quran and the
Sunnah so going back to the evidence not
us necessarily but we take the sayings
of the of the scholars with their
evidence with the goal is to follow the
prophet sallahu alaih wasallam and to be
patient with one another how do you know
you have Brotherhood that's very
important now if you have a a matter
that you want to address with
somebody uh and should you do it
individually
or do you now call a person out in front
of people and embarrass him or situation
like this and uh not wanting to
jeopardize because advice sometimes very
heavy and now you have
to uh start to think like man am I going
to ruin a Brother's hood here over one
issue how do you address you know what
I'm saying right right and it's very
important they usually translate it as
advice yeah but it's not the proper
translation if you wanted the
comprehensive meaning of it comes from
the word
which is when you purify the milk to
make it totally pure from any impurities
the same thing means that you have this
feeling this pure sincere concern about
the one that you want to make to what'
you say that again pure what pure
concern pure concern for your brother
you are so concerned whether the is to
Allah that means you are so concerned
about The Obedience of Allah the to the
Quran that you are purely concerned
about the Quran and how can you fulfill
the rights of the Quran
to the Muslims is to have the concern
and this is concern is so pure and for
the sake of Allah subhana T alone not to
look Superior not to put someone down
but for the sake of Allah subhana wa
tala the person has that concern should
be present in the heart first and we
have to test ourselves before we advise
someone we should check with our hearts
are we sincerely concerned about this
individual we need to save him from the
wrong that he or she is doing so that
they can see the truth and follow the
truth if we have this concern
then will take the proper means of
advice one of the one of the scholars of
the religion of Al Islam he have a very
very benefiting small book that he
said the title of the book which means
the differences
between and exposing the affair of
someone ah you can think that a person
is given but when when he's disclosing
this in front of all the Masjid you know
you're not making you're you're
embarrassing your brother yeah and this
is not permissible so in that case a
person should take him
alone choose the right words have this
concern in the heart you can even as the
they say praise some of the good things
in him and mention some good things
remind them of the Brotherhood that that
you have and then you would explain and
that way the will be accepted by just if
it's if it's just some words that a
person throw on someone's face I did my
part whether he takes it whether he
doesn't take it this is not a person
that is concerned so and following the
manners of the Prophet a man entering
the Masjid as you know of the Prophet
sallam urinating in the Masjid what the
prophet sallam did with him took him
with the best and gentleness a man
saying
when one of the companions of the
prophet wasallam he came into the Salah
and he was away for some time he didn't
know that speaking during the Salah is
forbidden so someone someone in the
Salah sneezed and he
said he told him during the yeah he said
the people looked at me like very angr
how you know stop speaking and then he
said even something more he says woe to
me or which means woe to me May my
mother perish me why you looking at me
like this this is all during the Salah
so they kept telling him to be quiet by
hitting their their legs with their
hands so he said that I knew that they
want me to be quiet so I stopped talking
after the Prophet wasallam this man this
companion he said W by the name of of
Allah I never seen anyone a better
teaching teacher than the prophet s he
never was angry with me he did not tell
me any harsh words but he told me that
this Salah this prayer is not for the
person to speak in it the worldly talk
it's in the Vick of Allah subhana tala
and the recitation of the Quran and as a
result this person you know Changed by
the manners of the prophet sallam and
this is one of the or some of the eates
to do when we advise others if you come
to a disagreement where you know what
you are are sincere or you're not that's
with Allah but now that you can't get
this person to see it your way do you
just stop hanging out with this brother
of yours where do you go from there if a
person do the and it depends on what is
the crime that this person is committing
if it's a matter in the Creed and the
belief or in the methodology of
understanding the dean person gives the
and the advice and if it's not being
accepted and he do it in the proper way
and if he sees that are more means to
take then he should do that if it's not
been accepted whatsoever then the person
should avoid falling into the bad
companionship with that with that
brother depends on of course what it is
for something minor then we put it in
that perspective and if it's something
major then we still keep the advice but
we avoid falling into the same issue
because when a person is closer to
someone he might be affected and of
course this is General right to be
specific it's it's very important for
each and every one of us asks the people
of knowledge when it comes to these
situations because so much uh difficult
things happened and hard and and and and
animosity among the Muslims as a result
of not knowing the manners and the
etiquette and do not differentiating
between what is minor and what's what's
major so we should ask the people of
knowledge with specific specific
incidences and what to deal with this
brother and what's this brother is doing
in the Masjid and what's his
relationship with the Muslims and so on
and should we avoid bickering arguing
and definitely the prophet wasallam
mentioned in a Hadith that some of the
rewards of those who leave arguing
arguments even if he of the person was
on the
truth I am guaranteeing a house in the
outskirts of Jenna for those who leave
arguments when they are in the truth not
leaving it when he's not being on the
truth when being the truth and he would
still leave the argument but what it
means by this is is that we should still
show the truth and if the truth is not
being accepted then we leave the
arguments that's why
imik he said in the meaning of which if
somebody argue with you tell him if you
have the knowledge tell him what's in
the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet
with regarding to what he's doing or
she's doing if they accept it mallah
it's great if they don't accept it stop
at this point because what else you
going to say you already said the
highest level of things which is the
Quran and Sunnah Revelation no mistakes
in it if he says something else then
you're going to go to something lower
you're going to start going into
intellectual things which is cannot be
against the Quran and the Sunnah so
you're going to go to a a wrong route so
once you made the the evidences clear
and you explain it in the proper way
then this is good enough and a person
should not argue one last question
before we come to a close how do you
differentiate if what I'm going to say
is going to cause a greater fitna how do
I balance this out to know when to talk
to be able to differentiate a about
losses and gains this is one of the most
difficult things and it needs a person
of knowledge so yes we can learn how to
deal with it but please it's my advice
ask someone of knowledge how to deal
with specific situations because to know
what is the outcome of things there are
so many variables to it got so once the
person sees that the outcome is more
evil than the evil that is present now
it becomes not permissible to forbid
that present evil because if you forbid
that present evil you is going to be a
mean you're going to be a mean for a
bigger evil this is not what Allah
subhana T wants from us when we enjoying
good and forbid evil so but we have to
have the wisdom and the knowledge to be
able to differentiate between both can
you have give us an example on this last
Point example if someone for example uh
sees a bottle of wine yeah right in a
place where it's permissible for people
to drink alcohol right if he goes and he
breaks this bottle of wine it's Haram
drinking alcohol is Haram so if we
forbid the evil by matters in our hands
and we do this a bigger evil would
happen all the Muslims in the whole city
will be arrested right and the person
that is selling the the wine or the
alcohol he will be given from the Muslim
from the money of the people to build
his place better and to so where's the
evil it decreased here no it didn't
decrease so as a result a bigger evil
happened so as a result it becomes Haram
for a person to forbid the evil in such
a manner but if he goes and speaks to
that Muslim brother this is not
permissible this is Haram even if he
tell you harsh words it's okay be
patient but we do not transgress so that
we do not we're not the cause of a
bigger evil gotcha okay so being sincere
being on uh the right knowledge putting
things in context referring it back to
people not only just you going back to
the Quran and Sunnah but going back to
someone who's a doctor in this area a
scholar in this area someone who can
explain it to you and the situation
being here and uh we should be okay then
in okay thank you uh for being with us
again and thank you all for tuning in to
the dean show inshallah we bring you a
new show every week on The Dean show
until next time asalam and peace be unto
you