This is
the show. The show. Welcome to the Dean
Show. My next guest coming up from
atheism to
agnosticism to beauty pageantss and
party and play and fun to having a void
that many people have filling it with
all these things. A thousand in one
things. But none of these things make
that pain inside, that void inside, the
hurt inside, the yearning to want to
know inside why I've been created. Why
am I here? The person, my next guest,
found out why, and she's here to share
her story and how she wouldn't trade it
for the world. You can have it, too.
We'll be right back on the Dean Show
with this wonderful story. Don't go
anywhere. We'll be right back.
This is the
[Music]
devil. This is the
de This is the show. This is the
show. This is the This is the
Assalam. Peace be with you. Welcome to
the show, Sister Chelsea. How are you?
I'm good. Walaykum. Salam. Now we hear
you came you come from a a kind of a
agnostic atheist uh background. You went
through the whole um you know and and I
always wonder I I get really um in awe
thinking like why is it that many young
women they aspire to be like a star
meaning like you know they want to win
the beauty pageantss and this is kind of
what you went through right? Yes I did.
Um, I was an atheist. I want to say for
the majority of my life, you know, I I
tried to attend like the Christian youth
groups as a teenager, but I think it was
probably more so for the wrong reasons
of socializing and meeting boys and
stuff like that. Um, but when I got into
high school, you know, of course, I
think just like a lot of Western girls,
we kind of get into our looks and being
social with other girls. And I started
doing USA beauty pageantss pretty much
throughout my entire high school years.
So for about three or four years. Now,
now why the whole uh a go why did you go
towards the whole atheism uh thing? I
think for me I always just relied on
faith and a lot of my family is
Christian. The majority of my family is
Christian and I remember just kind of
talking to them briefly and talking to
other Christians that I would socialize
with and everything was based around
faith. And for me, I just never felt
like I had it. When I was in high
school, I attended like this hiphop
church and the pastor, he like wrapped
and he was this white guy with like
cornrows and it was really fun. And
people would come and break dance and it
was a place where like teenagers could
feel like they could practice their
religion without being judged for being
teenagers. And so it was really great
atmosphere. And I remember even going to
the Bible studies and me and a
girlfriend of mine, we decided that we
would start reading kind of this urban
translation of the Bible. And even then,
I would read it and just I was never
connecting. I remember, you know, being
in church and singing the songs and
having a really good time, but I
remember like vaguely just being there
one time and being like, what am I doing
here? Like I don't have faith. Like I
don't even like I don't even know if I
believe in this. And I think from that
point on, I was just kind of like, well,
if there is a God, you know, he'll guide
me somewhere, but right now I just I
don't believe in anything. So, it really
did kind of lead me to just not
believing in anything, not believing
that there was a God. Uh, we see a
little guy back there. Who Who's that?
Your bodyguard.
Yeah. In the future, inshallah.
What's his name? And his name is Ali.
He's 22 months old. Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah. So Chelsea, so many
people they kind of uh go to church
slided on Sundays, you know, it's kind
of a traditional thing, family, friends,
but then when you get to the concepts,
you know, God being a man, uh Jesus
dying for your sins, you know, the fra
what we call the natural inclination
inside this thing that God Almighty put
in all of us, it rejects this and then
people start to question it. Many don't.
They just again slide in on Sundays.
Were you one of those that were going to
church, just sliding in, not questioning
it? And then you came to a point where
you started the question and then you
were really at a dilemma here.
You know, I didn't really grow up in a
very religious household. Um, my father,
he's kind of a bit more of a scientist.
My mom, she grew up in a Christian home,
but church was really just for Christmas
Eve and maybe Easter for us. Um, you
know, like I said, I kind of attended
your typical like teenage youth groups
and stuff like that in middle school. Uh
but from my knowledge I mean I only
understood Christianity to be as that
Jesus was the son of God. Um you know it
wasn't until later on in my teenage
years that I started hearing other sects
of Christianity kind of talking about
how Jesus was God and that he was a man.
And I think for me I did question a lot
of that. I don't think that there was
ever a time in my life that I fully
accepted it because I never really
considered myself a Christian. Even now
when people are like, "Oh, well, you
kind of grew up in a Christian household
or your family was Christian." But I
never really felt Christian because I
never really felt that way. I never felt
that Jesus was the son of God or I
questioned it enough anyways to not
really feel that way. And how how did
you get to uh investigating about Islam?
Um, you know, it was in in high school
anyways. I had a Muslim girlfriend who
was a born uh she was Palestinian born
Muslim and um when she was 18 years old,
she ended up getting married.
Oh, my son wants to be in the show. I'm
telling you, when he when he gets older,
we'll get him on. We would talk briefly
about Islam. Um you know, but it wasn't
anything big. It wasn't really until I
was about 25 years old or so um that I
figured you know what I've kind of
checked out all the other religions that
I was even interested in even going into
Buddhism and things like that and um you
know nothing really stuck. So I kind of
felt well I don't really have anything
to lose. me and her, we would h kind of
have like small discussions here and
there. And I was always kind of like,
well, if there's a god. And I think this
is kind of where my agnosticism started
to come
in around like 24 25 cuz I was always
that if I was searching for something. I
I did I wanted something. Um, you know,
I just never had faith in anything. So
when she kept telling me, Chelsea, some
of the things that you kind of talk
about if there was a God and how life
should be and how we should be as
people, it really kind of sounds
Islamic, you know, and I think right
then and there I was kind of like, hey,
well, what do I have to lose, you know?
Let me just go ahead and watch some
lectures on YouTube. And that's actually
what brought me to your show.
Alhamdulillah. I I mean I remember just
watching like video after video on your
video log on your website and I would
spend hours like every day for weeks
doing that. M we're going to take a
break and we want to talk about this
void you had kind of went through uh
many of the pursuing many of the
pursuits that people young people they
pursue but there was a void. We're going
to get to that void when we come back
here in the Dean Show. Don't go
anywhere. We'll be right back. Please
subscribe to the Dean Show. Follow us on
our official Facebook and Twitter pages
in the links below. Please also help
support the Dan Show by making a
donation in the link below.
Subscribe right now.
[Music]
Back here on the Dean Show. Before we
left the break, I talked about a void.
Many people have it. They fill it with
alcohol, with drugs. They fall into peer
pressure, pursuing to be a star, beauty
pageantss, you name it, they do it a
thousand and one purposes except the
true purpose. Talk about this void that
you had.
Well, I think I think I suffered from
this void for a long time, not really
realizing it. You know, I was that I was
the kind of girl who like I had tons of
friends, but I always felt lonely. you
know, it's like I was always trying to
find confidence, but I was that person
that was always, you know, telling
people to have self-love. Um, you know,
I always felt like something was missing
and I never really knew what it was. And
so for me, you know, naturally, just as
like a young western girl, you know, I
lived kind of the party lifestyle and I
worked as a cocktail waitress at a bar
and, you know, so of course that had me
out a lot. Um, I would go to the clubs.
I mean, at one point right before I
converted, actually, I mean, I was going
out anywhere from three to four nights a
week. Um, you know, and I was I was
drinking a lot and uh you know, but it
it was never anything I felt like I had
an issue with. I just felt like I was
just being a young girl having fun. Um,
you know, and I unfortunately ended up
kind of trying to fill that void with
other things that I won't really, you
know, go into detail about. Um, but you
know, it really just left me more empty.
And I remember when I started looking
into Islam, um, you know, I almost kind
of started to like feel like this
genuine happiness kind of start to come
into play, like things are going to be
okay. And I didn't feel that in, you
know, that emptiness as much anyways.
And now, alhamdulillah, you know, 4 and
a half years later after converting, I
can honestly say that I am the most
genuinely happy I have ever been in my
entire life. Alhamdulillah. Would you
trade it for the world?
Would I trade it for the world? This
happiness that you have now.
Oh, no way. No way. My goal is Jenna.
Beautiful. Uh tell us also how do you
feel especially right now when you see
this beautiful way of life that was
lived by Jesus, Moses, Abraham, you know
that simple call to have a a loving
relationship to connect your heart with
the creator who created the heart this
way of life of Islam being defamed
uh by many of these politicians now. How
do how do you feel? How does that make
you feel?
You know, I think for me it's just kind
of disheartening. Um, you know, I've
always been a very optimistic person.
I've always been somebody who really
looks at the good in people, the good in
society, and I truly believe that God
made us inherently good. I mean, you
know, we're made of light, you know. So
he knew that there was some
good in in us and um you know so for me
Islam you know it's kind of one of those
ignorance can create hate and um you
know ignorance is bliss in a way um you
know but it's really just kind of
disheartening I think you know
especially for me as a woman who I wear
my religion on my head you know and so
for me with a young child going out in
public, especially now, it's like
there's almost kind of this level of
fear that I feel is very unnecessary.
And I really think that it has to do
with people just being uneducated and
them educating themselves in the wrong
way from the wrong sources. And I think
that it's really important for us as a
Muslim ummah to kind of come together
and create these educational resources
for these people so that we don't have,
you know, these misconceptions, these
misunderstandings from people. Have you
ever had a real situation where
someone's come up to you at random and
asked you about Islam or uh was
inquisitive to know or gave you a hard
time uh and you and you had a chance to
to communicate with such a person and
communicate what Islam was really about.
Alhamdulillah. I've actually had a lot
of occasions and I think that one it's
because I am a woman in the west wearing
hijab and I think that two um you
know unfortunately a lot of people in
the west do stereotype Muslims as being
you know um a a darker color and Arab
and Indian things like this. So when
they see somebody like me who, you know,
is blue eyes, light skin, you know,
they're a little bit more intrigued and
maybe even unfortunately at times a
little bit more at ease to talk to me.
Um, you know, I wore hijab publicly
while I was working uh before I was
pregnant and a bit during while I was
pregnant. Yes. And um you know so for me
I encountered a lot of people asking
questions about my religion, why I wore
hijab, of course your your comments of
oh did your husband make you wear that
and you know things like that. I did
unfortunately encounter one negative
um you know conversation with a young
gentleman and I think you know of course
as a new Muslim you know even at times
we kind of have to learn to control
ourselves a bit and I think it kind of
became a little bit more of a back and
forth and if maybe I had restrained
myself a bit maybe it wouldn't have
gotten as bad as it did but it got to
the point where you know he was kind of
cussing at me and telling me to go back
to my country. And I laughed because I
was like, well, I'm here.
Hello. You know, because I am white,
Asian, American born, you know, and it
it's really sad that these people have
these horrible stereotypes in their
head, you know, that is them and somehow
is in relation to an ethnicity or a
nationality, which of course we know is
untrue. But thankfully I have had a lot
of opportunities to speak to people
about my religion and kind of clear up
some misconceptions which has been
really nice and I think beneficial to
me. Alhamdulillah. Uh have you had
family members or some of these people
ask you like uh so what now you've
become you know a terror a radical and
how do you respond to that? Has anybody
has associated with you now as a suspect
now because you're Muslim automatically
they think okay you become some radical
extremist.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Well, I mean I think
um even right when I converted um you
know I was still kind of going through
an an old marriage of mine um where my
ex-husband was actually a United States
Marine and you know so my family of
course was very used to me being kind of
in this military go America lifestyle.
And so when I had told my family that I
had decided to convert to Islam, I
remember one family member in particular
kind of came at me and was like, "So
then what? Are you like against America
now?" And like I just it's like I almost
didn't even know what to say to that.
Like my religion doesn't make me against
a country, you know, maybe some of its
actions at times, but I mean we could
say that about countries all over the
world. Um, you know, so for me it's like
me wearing my hijab shouldn't make me
radical just because I'm choosing to,
you know, follow my faith. I mean, I am
probably one of the nicest people ever.
You know, it's like when you actually
sit down and talk to me, and this is
what happened with a lot of the women
who have confronted me in my past who
were non-Muslim asking me questions kind
of like, you're just like a normal girl.
And I'm like, well, thank you for seeing
that. I wish more people understood that
Muslims are just regular people and that
this is just their religion, you know,
and again, it just it comes down to
ignorance. We're going to take a break
and we'll be right back with more here
on the Dean Show. Don't go anywhere.
Please subscribe to the Dean Show.
Follow us on our official Facebook and
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[Music]
Welcome back to the Dean Show. Uh tell
us Chelsea, did you have once you we
know that any sincere individual human
being that really looks into Islam
seeking to know the truth, they will
find what they're looking for in it. But
many people sometimes they have these
reservations because what's my family
going to say? Society, it's not the cool
thing. as you can see. Did you have some
of these apprehensions and reservations
when you started to recognize that this
was indeed the truth from the creator?
You know, alhamdulillah, I think that my
mom raised me to be a very outgoing and
confident person. Um, I'm somebody who's
always stood by my beliefs and never
really cared what other people thought
of me. And I think that really kind of
served, you know, benefit to me in this
process because when it came down to it,
I didn't really care what my family had
to say. Um, you know, I do encounter a
lot of reverts, converts who do kind of
struggle with how their family is going
to react and they're they fear that
they're going to lose their friends or
their social circle. And that wasn't a
concern for me. My concern was finding
out the truth. And I'm somebody who when
I want to know something, I will spend
all day and all night trying to figure
it out. So, you know, when it came down
to it, you know, telling my parents, you
know, it on one hand it was a bit scary,
you know, because I think more than
anything telling my father I knew was
going to be a little bit nerve-wracking
because he definitely is kind of that
scientist and, you know, I was kind of
on his side for many years when we would
talk about religion and religious people
and their actions and maybe how the
church is and things like that. So, you
know, his reaction was probably, you
know, the most shocking out of
everybody. My mom, she was really just
kind of concerned for me. But, you know,
for myself, I again, I just didn't care
what anybody else thought. I was happy
with my choice. I did go through a
little bit of anxiety here and there,
you know, because I was coming from such
a different lifestyle. was coming from a
lifestyle where it's okay for girls to
wear mini shorts and tank tops and
stiletto high heels and beautify
themselves and go to the clubs and have
guy friends and you know have your
occasional glass of wine and you know
all of that was very very acceptable you
know and so for me it's like I kind of
had to get myself out of that thought
process and really dive deep into
educating myself into Islam so that I
could fully understand why I was making
these changes. And alhamdulillah, I tell
all the girls that I speak with um that
I feel that God really does kind of put
us in certain situations in our past to
make us understand it's them a bit
better. And everything that a lot of
girls come to me with that they're
struggling with. Whether it's having guy
friends or having boyfriends or stop
drinking alcohol or whatever it may be,
I have a story in my past that I can
relate it to and understand why Allah
subhana wa ta'ala has asked these things
of us, you know. And so I think that
it's been really great. I think that,
you know, when a convert comes into the
faith, education is the best thing to
kind of relieve yourself of any of that
anxiety. And when you really start to
have faith in Allah and what he has in
store for you and your journey, you're
not going to care about what anybody
else has to say. Uh we know Islam, one
of the the main um things that it's
there for is to help us to become better
human beings to have the best manners
and character and that's all built on
that pure monotheism, having the direct
connection with the creator and
everything he's told us to do is good
for us and everything he told us to stay
away from is harmful for us. One of the
things after you've established that
connection, the prayer and because we
need it, it's our medicine. Uh, one of
the things that many women struggle with
is the the hijab. So, what do you I
mean, you coming from a a background now
that you you know, you did many people
they're they take for granted being born
into a Muslim family. you coming from uh
an a a family that wasn't Muslim and now
you stepped up, you you know, you
wearing hijab, how do you encourage
those those women out there who are
having a hard time, you know, uh with
this uh uh wearing of the hijab? What do
you usually tell them to motivate them?
You know, I think that when I always try
to approach sisters and um you know,
their difficulties, you know, because we
all have our own difficulties, whether
small or big, they're our own and
they're different. And um I always try
to kind of give them, you know, it a
very Islamic perspective, but as well,
you know, I do kind of try to be
sensitive to, you know, their emotion
and what they're going through and kind
of give them a little bit of friend or
sister advice as well. Um, you know, but
I think that, you know, if you're really
just gonna kind of spell it out, you
know, one thing I really say just to
dive right into it is that at the end of
the day, hijab is is a choice. If when
you say choice, you mean
ultimately, Bubba. Yeah, Bubba. Here,
let me give this to you.
You know if ultimate if ultimately you
mean that truly everything that you do
in your life is a choice. We know that
praying five times a day is something
that is mandated of us as Muslims. It's
a part of our five pillars. But it's
still a choice. I mean we can choose to
do those five prayers or we can choose
to do one or none you know. So for me
it's like when talking to girls I have
to let them know yes hijab is a choice
but it is something I truly believe is
mentioned in the Quran as something that
us as women need to do as Muslims. Is it
as important as other things like
prayer? Maybe not. But I think that as
Muslim women, we have to recognize the
things that we have to do in our faith
to please Allah, to better ourselves as
Muslims. And if we're not at least
taking those steps and really truly
understanding why and the fact that we
need to anyways, we're not going to get
anywhere, you know? So, it's really kind
of that understanding of it is a choice,
but it's a choice that's going to be
better for us and better for our dean.
and it's going to be better for our
practice. And inshallah, you know, you
may not be perfect right now, but you
can work towards it. I do unfortunately
have a lot of girls who kind of come to
me who say, "Well, my personality isn't
very modest, so how am I going to be
modest on the outside?" And I really
think that just kind of comes down to
education and becoming closer with your
faith to truly understand what modesty
is to you. Because I really do think
that modesty is different for everybody.
But I think that just because you're
lacking in one area doesn't mean that
you should totally give up on another
area. You know, it's kind of about
combining the two and finding a happy
balance for yourself. Thank you so much
for being on the Dean Show, spending
time with our viewers out there. We
really um, you know, love hearing these
stories of people who have been able to
step up, be courageous enough, and to
find peace and purpose in Islam and
share their wonderful journey so more
people can benefit. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for having me.
Oklahoma. Thank another wonderful story
here on the Dean Show. You got to really
be a somewhat of a iconoclastic, someone
who defies traditions and you can't be
that dead fish in the ocean just going
with the flow. Even the fish goes
against many of the currents. And that's
what you got to do if you want to know
the truth. You got to dig for the
treasure because it's worth your time.
It's worth your effort. And you see what
she said? She said after going through
what many people go through, they end up
having a thousand and1 different
purposes, but they don't live the true
purpose. And now she's found it. And she
wouldn't she wouldn't trade it for the
world and everything in it. And that's
her story. And you can be someone out
there who's going through some of the
many challenges that we go through life.
You will never find true absolute
happiness in this life following your
desires. But but there's good news. And
she was a a she's a living testimony to
that. And so are the
over 1 point what is it five six billion
people now out there who are have
accepted this way of life. That's
logical, rational. They just call you to
something very simple to have a direct
dialup connection with the one who made
you who created you and Jesus did it. He
lived this way of life. So did his
blessed mother Mary and that's what
she's doing. So now when you go ahead
and look at the return on your
investment, when you live this way of
life compared to living a way of life of
debauchery, following your lust and your
passions and your desires, hitting this
dead end, that dead end, and at the end
you're just at a dead end. Call us
1800662 Islam to learn more. If you have
some questions, whatever it is, let's
start a healthy dial dialogue. Come to
the Muslims to learn about this
beautiful way of life. That's the
fastest growing way of life still in the
world today because of the power that it
possesses. The power to transform lives
for the better, for the betterment of
that individual and for the betterment
of society. We'll see you next time.
Until then, remember, subscribe right
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[Music]