And this is a Muslim home. In Islam, a
successful mother or father is the one
who has nurtured the children in a
beautiful way leading by example. And
there is one more point I want to raise
before I go to how to choose a spouse.
And that is in the same way that we
would be so careful as to the upbringing
within the home even if it is 100%
perfect. Say for example, there is
nothing bad that happens in your home.
you are happy with the manners of your
child and grow up and so on. The
external environment plays a bigger role
in shaping the child nowadays than the
internal environment. What you say to
your child can be yes okay mom okay dad
yes dad oh wow you know it's okay you
have the the the rare cases of the women
who might be in hijab you know in the
home and the mom says wow and as soon as
dad drops them off at varsity everything
is gone
and then dad don't come now it's still
there's 10 minutes dad just park your
car outside why because I quickly need
to dress back how dad dropped me he must
pick me what happened between when dad
dropped me and picked me only Allah
knows and sorry your schoolmate know as
well.
That is hypocrisy. So in order to solve
that, we need to know Islam tells us to
guide our children as to the type of
friends they should be having with
responsibility. Sometimes we're too busy
at work. Oh, dad, you know what the dad
says to his child? Well, look, I work
and I sweat to earn the money to send
you to the university or I work and I
earn the money to do this for you and to
send you to the best of the schools, but
dad, you don't even spend one minute
with me through the day because you
don't even have time for mom. Where are
you going to have time for us? We're
guilty of that. You know, a typical
father, very busy man comes home, he
doesn't even greet properly. I hope this
is not the case in K. Remember I'm
fortunate that it's my first visit. So I
cannot pinpoint to say this is a problem
here. But I can tell you that it's a
problem elsewhere where typical dad
comes back home and you know he puts his
bag that's if he has one nowadays you
just need a phone to move around with
and he puts it aside and what happens he
will sit in front of the television and
flick. The flicking is a male habit if
you know that you flick the news is
there you're not satisfied with it you
flick again you know is it because there
was no female you know saying the news
or is it because you really are
interested in the news it happens
sometimes these type of things the
flicking flicking and they're asking you
would you like to eat oh dad welcome
home and so on and you're just looking
at the screen you know we would have
loved it if there were little cameras
where we could appear on the screen to
attract dad's attention hello dad
but this is a home is that a Muslim
If we are not going to be fragmented as
a result, what do we expect? So a Muslim
will not do that. You need to realize
your responsibility. You went to work. I
normally tell people to spend or to have
one meal, one meal with your children a
day is worth more than $10,000 and that
is a very minimum figure
because your you can sit not only table
manners but at the same time talk,
speak, let them open up. How was your
day? Oh, and do not blast a child when
they come up with some negativity, but
teach them because if the child says,
"Dad, today I met a few people. You know
what? They gay." I don't know why I'm
raising this issue every time, but
anyway, it's a problem of of the age.
And you say what? You get up from your
seat. You dare see those people again?
Okay. Okay. Okay. That okay was
connected to your temper, not connected
to the brain. Have you? So, have you
understood that? So, do not treat your
children that way. You engage them in
discussion. Sometimes we don't have the
time to engage our children in
discussion, but we've got the time to
think up how to expand our business.
What's the point of a successful
businessman? And yet his house is
totally out of order.
It would have been good if we had little
tags for a little while saying, you
know, like when you have a lift, they
have a tag saying out of order. The next
day it starts working. If families were
like that, it would have been okay. Put
a tag for a few days saying out of
order. We're fixing it. But it does not
work that way. You need to maintain it
constantly. Constantly it needs to
operate and you need to understand when
someone comes up with something within
the home. Talk to them. Find out how it
happened. Perhaps the school you sent
them to was wrong. Perhaps the
environment you you allowed them to dive
into, you did not advise them before
they went into the ocean to say, you
know what, you were a big fish in this
little pond. Now you are going to go
into the ocean. You are just one of the
little fish in that big ocean. Be
careful that a whale doesn't come or you
might be living in the belly of the
whale thinking you are in another pool
here. It can happen.
So we need to guide our children, talk
to them. The point I've raised, I'm sure
you've picked it up, is that when your
child comes up with something negative
in order to maintain the home and
protect it from defragmenting or
fragmenting, you need to
communicate with the child. Engage the
child in a beautiful discussion. spend
time. When you hear that type of
statement from your child, it will tell
you, I need to have two meals now with
my children, not just one.